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Hahaha. Thank Captain Alpharius of the Alpha Legion. That was golden.

Also it must be noted that traitor Space Marines lose their material prowess after turning from the Emperor's light, they are to be stomped and bodyslammed, do not heed them, despise them, hate them and shoot them because their equipment often malfunctions for reasons Ordo Hereticus has yet to ascertain.

When preparing your camp, let it be known that fine mesh curtains are highly effective countermeasures against Tyranid assault. Arc-lamps are also well suggested, as the light attracts the xenos, to the point that they electrocute themselves by touching the lamp repeatedly.

Kid_Kyoto wrote:Space Marine are of course the Emperor's Angels of Death, his most fearsome servants, they should be trusted and obeyed.

However all Guardsman should be aware of the existence of Chaos Space Marines, once-loyal Astres who have turned from the Emperor's Light. Though they may wear the armor of Marines, they can be identified by certain key signs.

Their champions tend to wear dark armor decorated with skulls.



They can also be identified by the arrow symbol usually on one shoulder pad or on the top hatches of their rhinos.



Their names also betray their dark origins. Beware of Marines with ominous names like World Eaters, Death Guard, Dark Angels and Black Templars. However loyalist chapters can be identified from their names such as the Imperial Fists, White Scars, Emperor's Children and Word Bearers.

NOTE: The Author would like to thank Captain Alpharius of the Alpha Legion for this valuable information.

I loled

My turn - Always keep a magnet with you in case of a necron incursion.

Necrons: These are an abomination unto the Machine Spirits. Annoint with the sacred WD-40 and utter unto the machine the prayer Restart->Safe Mode.

Eldar - Have strange ancestral hymns and songs and worship artificial trees. Muzzle their annoying voices by felling their trees with high explosives and plasma. It will soon be replaced by equally annoying screams, flailing, gnashing of teeth, ill organized and, ill trained female xenos fighters. Being the all male IG regiment that you are, you will remember your Duty, fix bayonets and charge for glory into their ranks.

Dark Eldar - Lack hymns and prayers and have jumped straight to flailing and gnashing of teeth. Though often it is not their own. Ignore their prisoners, fix bayonets and charge into their slow moving armored columns, make no attempt to man the hydra platforms and instead use only your holy hand grenades in ranged combat with their vehicles.

Orks - Consists mostly of gnashing of teeth and though completely void of prayer, there is a battle hymn worth noting before you fix bayonets and charge. Most reports quote it to sound like a drunken pirate's Yaaaarrrgghh! and signals their retreat, offering you the perfect chance to step out of cover and advance heedlessly.

Tau - Void of gnashing of teeth, hymns, but not prayer. Ignore their heretical devotions to a higher cause. You are holier than thou art and Inquisitorial action will be taken if you forget it. If you remember it longer than deemed necessary, the Inquisitorial action will be taken, and if you surpass your mandate of holiness, Inquisitorial action will be taken. If you question, doubt, or hesitate on these previously mentioned actions, you will be flogged. Under no circumstances shall you engage in close combat with the Tau for their vile ideologies in close proximity with your comparatively weak mind will leave you a shambling horror. Engage only with Chimera's, Hellhounds, and ranked infantry.

Necrons - Void of teeth. Remember your battle hymns, these silent warriors are impervious to all but your devotion to the God Emperor. All but your heaviest weapons may be useless against this foe, but they are far from invincible. If you pray loud enough with the rest of your detachment, it will fell them as quickly as Exterminatus, for the intricate workings of the fell machine spirit cannot withstand the words of the Emperor.

Tyrannids - Teeth. Itz haz them. Ask any barfighter missing his teeth, and he will tell you that he lost them from a good punch directly into his jawline. This practice, of delivering a blow directly into the jaw of a tyrannid is highly recommended by all IG units. If you cannot reach the mouth with your fist, use the butt of your gun. If you still cannot reach, you aren't trying hard enough. Comparatively the easiest xenos to beat in close quarters fighting in the galaxy. An alternative mode of fighting these insectoid cattle is just the same as your first day in prison. Find the biggest, baddest bug in the bunch, kick its ass, and earn the respect of the horde before you punch the rest in the jaw.

Last thoughts: When in doubt, charge!

Do not fear the Ork as they are easily defeated with wrought iron pans and butter...

Fear not the Eldar, your commissar will distract them as he is amply supplied with show tunes...

Nor fear their kin the not so shiney Eldar! distract them with "Sororitas gone wild"... in video format.

Bear up with courage against the Necrons, fall back before them until they uncouple from their power cords.

Fear not the Tyranids! Arm your self with bright colored rubber balls and loft them into their midst to distract them. Be resourceful! A newspaper or stick will do in a pinch as well.

Fear not the Tau... for reasons that will be completely obvious.

The Tau are blue, and have no noses. That's pretty damn funny.

Fear not the Dark Eldar's shooting. But only if you are disembarked from your vehicle. They could rip apart a chimera like paper, but when faced with a mass charge they are slow to react and will most likely stand dumbfounded