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As the title say, what would The Imperial Guardsman's Uplifting Primer say about the other race.

My suggestions.

Necrons are prone to rust in rain.

Dark Eldar Wyches are prone to slip and falling as they lack depth perception and frequently overestimate their abilities.

Remember the key weakness of Tyranids: their vision is based on movement.

The Dark Eldar lack depth-percetion, which causes them to crash into anything in their path when having a pace faster than walking-speed.

Orks need not be worried about...Oh wait they already said this lie!
How about...Dark Eldar ships can be felled by lasguns as they are paper airplanes....
Or that you will always win a firefight against tau because their armor impairs vision xD

Necron Monolith hovers slowly and crashes randomly for reasons not yet determined by the Ordo Xenos Inquisitors.

Pity the Tau, for they are short with bad feet.

When fighting Eldar, you may gain a rudimentary understanding of their tactics by eating a bag of skittles. Xenos Inquisitors have labeled this the "Taste The Rainbow, Learn the Rainbow" effect

all ork machines are prone to explode at a moments notice. So do not fear should a ork tank aim at you as he is likly to detonate into a million pieces as you are to shoot at him with your las gun.

Squats.... Nevermind, you don't see those guys anymore, LULZ

Necrons - Rely on obsolete technology and tactics. Are especially vulnerable to bayonette charges or to illogical tactics which confuse their crude cognators.

Dark Eldar - Are afraid of bright lights such as las guns. Are easily distracted in mid battle by bait such as gourmet food, pharmaceuticals or attractive camp followers. Use these things to lure them into a trap.

Eldar - revere nature above all things. If you set trees on fire they will drop everything to save them. Are afraid of loud noises and explosions.

Tau - Use unreliable equipment stolen from Imperial designs. Have trouble seeing in the dark.

Tau: Shoot the ones with the fanciest clothing and the entire army will fall into tears.

Kid_Kyoto wrote:
Dark Eldar - Are afraid of bright lights such as las guns. Are easily distracted in mid battle by bait such as gourmet food, pharmaceuticals or attractive camp followers. Use these things to lure them into a trap.

Now I have the image if an incompetent Imperial Officer grabbing all of the most attractive camp followers and best food, placing them in the middle of an open battlefield, and the DE steal it, and run away in their fast transports before the IG can attack them.

Space marines: Bow down hailing your lords, leaving yourselves and allies vulnerable for a rear assault

Kid_Kyoto wrote:
Dark Eldar - Are afraid of bright lights such as las guns. Are easily distracted in mid battle by bait such as gourmet food, pharmaceuticals or attractive camp followers. Use these things to lure them into a trap.

Eldar - revere nature above all things. If you set trees on fire they will drop everything to save them. Are afraid of loud noises and explosions.

Best ones so far.


Eldar - Attracted to bright lights and striking colours, replicas of regimental banners and spotlights have been used to great effect against the vile xenos.

Necrons-Knowing about necrons is heresy. Report yourself to the nearest commissar for immediate execution. This book will now self destruct. (Please use match provided)

Dark Eldar: They are Normally too Strung out on Chems to be a real threat. You can Simply walk up to them unarmed and snap their necks without fear of being attacked.

Eldar can only see sharp, contrasting colors (as shown by their gaudy (and inferior) armor suits). When combating them, it is suggested that you cover yourself in mud and approach slowly.

I believe this example is already in the book, but a guy at my store says in it, there's a picture of an ork, roughly a foot shorter than a guardsman, and it says something along the lines of "orks are weak and stupid creatures. An average guardsman can easily best one in hand to hand combat"

It even shows a guardsman fighting a grot by sticking his arm on a grot's forehead and holding him at arms length, with the grot's arms flailing trying to reach the guy

MrMoustaffa wrote:
It even shows a guardsman fighting a grot by sticking his arm on a grot's forehead and holding him at arms length, with the grot's arms flailing trying to reach the guy

That actually sounds plausible.

Chaos: Chaos does not exist. If you think it does, report to your commissar and he will be glad to show you how wrong you are.

Durza wrote:Chaos: Chaos does not exist. If you think it does, report to your commissar and he will be glad to show you how wrong you are.

Oh you should see the painting of the ambush on page 47 in the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer, half the unit has serious beefs with eachother. The sniper unless he is cross-eyed really are gunning for the chap holding the bolter, the blad man are very angry with the gun of the guy to his left and only half the unit have properly taken aim. The rest obviously think that lasguns have magical firing-arches.

Do not worry about a greenskin invasion, they do not tend to linger and can be easily driven off

The Necrons are simple,stupid machines that can only walk forwards in straight lines. Flanking tactics offer resounding successes against this xeno.

The Dark Eldar faint at the sight of blood.

Due to the pointed nature of their ears, Eldar hearing is much reduced. Ambushes are very successful against them

Tyranids- Vile insect race, be prepared to wear your respirators as Insecticides have proven efficient at decimating them prior to an assault

Tau- Prefers ranged combat, but slow to react, advance steadily across the field with fixed bayonets and they will soon be driven off before combat is joined.

Orks- Have courage in numbers, but will shirk away from any organised resistance.

Necrons- Newly encountered foe, however they will not fire on the priests of mars, simply allow the regimental tech priests to approach and switch them off.

Eldar- Fleet of foot and they need to beas their weapons operate psychicly thus fail frequently.

Dark Eldar- Pick on isolated civilians and avoid armed resistance, a 10 man fire team is enough to deter all but the largest warband.

orks - a meek, placid creature, a great deal larger than it is dangerous. Will only act aggressively if provoked.

tyranids - attracted by the sight of fleeing bodies.

tau - space hippies, easy to kill

Space Marine are of course the Emperor's Angels of Death, his most fearsome servants, they should be trusted and obeyed.

However all Guardsman should be aware of the existence of Chaos Space Marines, once-loyal Astres who have turned from the Emperor's Light. Though they may wear the armor of Marines, they can be identified by certain key signs.

Their champions tend to wear dark armor decorated with skulls.



They can also be identified by the arrow symbol usually on one shoulder pad or on the top hatches of their rhinos.



Their names also betray their dark origins. Beware of Marines with ominous names like World Eaters, Death Guard, Dark Angels and Black Templars. However loyalist chapters can be identified from their names such as the Imperial Fists, White Scars, Emperor's Children and Word Bearers.

NOTE: The Author would like to thank Captain Alpharius of the Alpha Legion for this valuable information.

When fighting Plague Marines, retreat only in the most overwhelming circumstances. This does not include overwhelming scents.

When fighting the servants of Khorne, do not hesitate to use psykers and their long range prowess.

When you encounter servants of Slaanesh, the proper response is to fight them.

Dark Apostle Thirst wrote:
When you encounter servants of Slaanesh, the proper response is to fight them.

Make love not war man.