Easy E wrote:

The radio this morning hinted at some celebrity gossip about Adele hitting the same time as the Tom adn Katie split did. I missed what this dirt was. Can anyone fill me in so I don;t have to rummage around the interwebz for it?

Easy E wrote:So, she's an older, larger and more talend version of Taylor Swift?

Easy E wrote:So, she's an older, larger and more talented version of Taylor Swift?

Tom Cruise Led High Speed Car Chase Through the West Side of Manhattan
Taylor Berman

Just two days after his daughter Suri and ex-wife Katie Holmes were involved in a minor accident, Tom Cruise, with Suri in tow, ran red lights and sped through Manhattan in an attempt to outrun paparazzi. The chase, which lasted 20 minutes, included ten cars full of paparazzi, plus six stragglers on bikes, all of whom also ran the red lights.

The New York Daily News reports that Cruise exceeded local speed limits:

The SUV hit 40 to 45 mph on 10th Ave., where the speed limit is 25 mph, and 55 to 65 on the West Side Highway, where the limit is 40 mph.

Cruise and Suri ended up at a nearby helipad, where they boarded a helicopter that headed towards New Jersey.

No accidents or arrests were reported, but one paparazzi-filled van was pulled over by police at 10th Avenue.

Few things bring Lost in Showbiz as much pleasure as a truly great celebrity autobiography. There are two clear leaders in this field, both of which were brought to LiS's attention by the great Danny Baker. The first is Sing Lofty: Thoughts of a Gemini, the self-published and quite alarmingly bitter memoir of the late Don Estelle in which the diminutive star of It Ain't Half Hot Mum describes all pop music as being the work of "sex-crazed degenerates" and offers his indispensible thoughts on the conflict that inspired his most famous TV role: "You know, it's a fact that a lot of wonderful people were killed in the second world war, on both sides."

The second is Ed "Stewpot" Stewart's Out of the Stewpot, perhaps the crowning achievement of John Blake Publishing, managing even to tower above a list that includes Ultimate Hard Bastards, Scottish Hard Bastards, Kate Kray's Naughty Bastards and Psychic Pets ("do animals possess an innate psychic ability that permits them to see into the future?"). It's hard to pick a highlight, although the incident in which the former Crackerjack presenter is trapped in a boarding school dormitory by some schoolgirls ("the pupils had just reached puberty and we had to be rescued by staff") is perhaps pipped by his fairly thought-provoking description of his first date with his future wife, when he was 34. "I arrived at 7pm and was greeted at the door by what I can only describe as a 13-year-old apparition! She was simply stunning."

Which brings us, by a very circuitous route of course, to R Kelly. Imagine LiS's delight when it discovered that the controversial R&B polymath had finally put pen to paper and published his memoirs. Its enthusiasm couldn't even be dented by the news that he had chosen to call the book Soulacoaster, thus missing what appeared to be a golden opportunity to title his autobiography R Story, R Tune or indeed R's Soul. But far be it from LiS to criticise: it has long been a fan of Kelly's way with words. Ever since hearing his 2005 masterpiece Sex Weed, it too has chosen to refer to its amorata's vagina as her "sticky icky", a decision that proved to be quite the talking point at the NCT antenatal class. It holds that it's a unique literary facility indeed that enables a man to pose the romantic question found on his single Rock Star: "How many times can you come before I poke you to death?" How spectacular is a book written by this man going to be?

The answer is: really quite spectacular indeed. "Sometimes I feel like music has made love to me," he writes. "I feel that I am pregnant by music, and it is the father and mother of my child." His trademark humility is very much in evidence, nowhere more so than in the story of the middle-school teacher, who without hearing him sing or even speak allegedly announced: "The spirit of God is on you, son. You are going to be famous. You are going to write songs for Michael Jackson, you are going to travel the world. You are anointed." Alas, when her prophecy comes true, Kelly takes against the late King Of Pop's pet monkey. "In my mind, I called Bubbles 'Trouble'. The chimp made me nervous."

Alas, the memoir is perhaps a little more circumspect than you might expect from the author of I Like the Crotch on You, Sex Planet and Bangin' the Headboard. There's curiously no mention whatsoever of Aaliyah, whom Kelly is alleged to have married when the late singer was 15, only for his bride's parents to immediately have the marriage annulled. He dismisses lawsuits brought against him involving allegations of sex with underage girls as "nuisance claims", a word LiS can only hope he used when the allegations that led to his 2008 child pornography trial – and subsequent acquittal on all charges – first came to light. "You've been accused of videotaping yourself urinating on a 14-year-old girl." "Oh, really? What a nuisance."

Nevertheless, LiS cries, let us not dwell on what isn't in Soulacoaster: let us instead concentrate on what is. Let us celebrate its description of a very moral man who is not be confused in any way with his onstage persona of a man whose brain exists merely as a life support system for his testicles. In one amazing sequence, he is tempted to stray from his then-girlfriend when three women offer to have sex with him simultaneously in a hotel room. Happily, he becomes stuck in a lift en route to the foursome, a mechanical failure he is quick to claim as an act of God. "Thank you, Lord!" he cries. "Thank you, Jesus!"

Let us note with interest that when his then-wife was giving birth to his children, R Kelly wisely chose to eschew the grim surroundings of the delivery room, sullied as they are with the whole messy and aesthetically displeasing business of "having a baby", in favour of visiting McDonald's. This too was a decision God apparently had a hand in, the Almighty being keen for R Kelly to avoid the distressing sight of a woman pushing a baby out of her sticky icky: "The Lord and I have agreed that I'm supposed to head to the hospital … after everyone's all cleaned up."

What a man! What a book! Roll over Ed "Stewpot" Stewart and tell the late Don Estelle the news! There's a new champ in town!

Ahtman wrote:Sooooooo, apparently Kristin Stewart cheated on her beau Robert Pattison and got caught, and now Twilight fans are throwing fits.

MEMBERS of the United Nations met last night to discuss the crisis threatening to engulf the Twilight saga.

Allegations of an affair between Kristen Stewart and a film director have left the world’s political leaders reeling.

UN chief Ban Ki-Moon said: “It’s not just that a love has died, but more like the entire concept of love has been destroyed.

“Obviously our thoughts are with R-Patz but what we need to understand is how it might affect Twilight as a whole, to look at the overall Twilight mythos. Will it make it somehow less good, if they’re not together in real life?”

“We cannot rule out the possibility of direct intervention, whether it’s just taking them out for a drink or even welding their hands together so they physically cannot be parted. To my fellow UN members, I would like to say that obviously we are all Twi-hards here, but we must not let fandom colour our response.”

British Prime Minister David Cameron said: “The important thing is not to panic. The two-part film of the final instalment in the saga, Breaking Dawn, is already in the can.

“But that doesn’t mean there couldn’t be another film if this one does well. I certainly will never tire of Edward and Bella’s tortured supernatural romance, however many they decide to do.”

But German leader Angela Merkel said: “No one even likes Twilight any more, it’s all about Hunger Games now. Hunger Games is better.”

Ban Ki-Moon responded angrily, saying: “No it isn’t. Hunger Games is boring.”

Ahtman wrote:Sooooooo, apparently Kristin Stewart cheated on her beau Robert Pattison and got caught, and now Twilight fans are throwing fits.

Jeremy Renner accidentally took a Viagra pill instead of a sleeping aid during an 11-hour flight from Los Angeles to London.

The actor digested what he thought was Ambien only to realize minutes later he had mixed up his "A" with a "V." Instead of sleeping he spent the entire flight wide awake with a painful erection.

He explained on "Jimmy Kimmel Live," "I had to get off the plane to go to work so I had to sleep on the plane...Somebody gave me some pills...so great.

"I took a little sleeping pill...and I realized nothing's happening but something else is happening, and I realized pretty quickly that that 'A' was a little 'V' on the pill. Not only did I not sleep on the entire flight, I was camping...There was no walking. If I had to go to the restroom, it was so embarrassing.

"I had Dennis Hopper, God rest his soul, laying next to me and his daughter was there playing with this little glass menagerie on the ledge...I'm like playing with her and I'm like, 'Hold on a second, man. I'm gonna go to jail, I'm gonna get arrested. This does not look good.'"

Renner stars in the upcoming film "The Bourne Legacy." Check him out on "Jimmy Kimmel" below:

reds8n wrote:http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/twilight-crisis-triggers-emergency-un-meeting-2012072635808

But German leader Angela Merkel said: “No one even likes Twilight any more, it’s all about Hunger Games now. Hunger Games is better.”