Jihadin wrote:Who?

Jihadin wrote:Who?

BlapBlapBlap wrote:I dislike this thread and every comment in it.

Ouze wrote:So apparently she timed the divorce to coincide with his 50th birthday? That's kinda harsh.

There have been many perfectly reasonable explanations posited about why Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced, including: the possibility of a Rock Of Ages-related curse, the strange numerological significance of Cruise always divorcing his wives after they turn 33, the idea that Cruise may be a bizarre control freak whose marriage to Holmes was nothing but a business transaction, pursued through a calculated vetting process to create both a suitable heir and the illusion that he has recognizably human feelings, etc. But perhaps none are so crazy as the theory floated by TMZ, who claims that Holmes ultimately chose to walk away because she'd had enough of Scientology and the way it held sway over every single aspect of her life. Which is indeed crazy. After all, who would ever turn away from the warm embrace of their church like that, just because it is sinister, steeped in secrecy, based on an especially fantastical mythology that demands cult-like blind faith and increasingly strange behavior, and has a history of intimidating and silencing its critics?

And yet, that is the totally crazy hypothesis that some have concocted, with TMZ reporting that Holmes ultimately ended the relationship because she was concerned that Cruise was preparing to send daughter Suri away to Sea Org—essentially a Scientology boot/forced labor camp where members as young as 5-years-old are asked to sign a "one-billion-year pledge" of eternal service. Lending credence to their idea that Holmes fled to protect her daughter: Us Weekly reported that weeks earlier, Holmes had already secured an apartment in New York—a state more likely to grant her sole custody of Suri—and only filed for divorce once Cruise was far away, filming Oblivion in Iceland. But surely there are other, ineffable factors at work here, like the way love sometimes becomes brittle and fragile until it finally cracks, as though a pressed wildflower? Or the way summer hangs heady with the promise of rebirth?

But no, the media seems pretty intently focused on this whole "not wanting to turn my 6-year-old into a Scientology robot" and "trying to escape the clutches of a fanatical church" silliness, which it's now backing up with reported sightings of a mysterious "team of beefy armed men" who spent the weekend parked outside Holmes' apartment in a white Escalade, snapping pictures and interviewing passerby. Or the fact that said men were neither journalists nor part of Holmes' security detail—which she recently replaced completely, after firing a longtime staff that was "too close to Cruise"—or that Holmes claims she's actually been tailed by Scientology agents for weeks now. Some, like Rupert Murdoch, have even gone so far as to say things like, "Watch Katie Holmes and Scientology story develop. Something creepy, maybe even evil, about these people"—which is an especially damning assessment coming from Rupert Murdoch.

And yet, Church of Scientology spokesperson Greg Soter has officially said they are not tailing Katie Holmes, which should immediately end any and all speculation about their involvement. After all, when two hearts grow apart, isn't it oh so easy to blame the disquietingly authoritarian Church that rules every single aspect of your life and punishes you severely for pulling away? Aren't we all just a little bit guilty of that? Let's stop paying the blame game, everybody.

Iur_tae_mont wrote:Lindsey Lohan dyed her hair red again.

That was the only thing I saw on the entertainment Newsletter my boss gets emailed every day that interested me.

Ouze wrote:

Iur_tae_mont wrote:Lindsey Lohan dyed her hair red again.

That was the only thing I saw on the entertainment Newsletter my boss gets emailed every day that interested me.

LL makes me simultaneously sad and filled with schadenfreude. While I'm sorta sad because she used to legitimately be pretty hot, the fact she coked her way to her current state also means I'd like to see mostly bad things happen to her.

A curious sensation swept over me the other day when I was idly flipping through TV channels and found myself accidentally striding brain-first into an episode of MTV's Geordie Shore. If you've never heard of it, it's a "structured reality" programme in which a gaggle of unbelievable idiots are stuck in a fancy house and intermittently hosed down with alcohol.

I use the term "unbelievable idiots" for good reason. I don't believe they exist. For one thing, their level of idiocy is hard to accept on a human level. There's a reason the show isn't called Cleverclogs Corner. You'd have more chance of decent conversation if you sewed a larynx into a lamb shank and asked if it'd seen any good films lately. They communicate using facial expressions and farts, with the occasional howl of rage thrown in for good measure. Even when attempting to mate.

I say "attempting to mate". I mean "thumping away at each other's goolies like a builder grimly trying to knock a hole in a wall before lunch". Since Geordie Shore is broadcast on television, where graphic footage of penetrative sex is only permitted in an educational context (or when Ofcom isn't looking), the camera stands back a bit for these interludes. There are a lot of shuddering duvets: sex is depicted beneath-the-covers, in a locked-off wide shot, night vision style, just like a wildlife programme about rutting bison, but less romantic.

But let's not judge them by the content of their character. Let's judge them by the colour of their skin, which is terracotta. Mostly. Apart from the pale ones. The way they look is the second unbelievable thing about them. Not all of them; most of them are sort of normal. But one or two of the men look … well they don't look real, put it that way. They've got sculpted physiques, sculpted hairdos, sculpted eyebrows, and as far as I can tell, no skin pores. They're like characters from the Japanese fighting game Tekken – which, if you're not familiar with it, is not noted for a documentary-style slavish adherence to realism. The most unsettling of the Geordies is a man called James, who looks precisely like a terrifying vinyl sex doll version of Ricky Gervais. Or possibly a CGI Manga impersonation of a young Ed Balls. I've been to Newcastle. There's no way James is from Newcastle. He's from space. Deep space. My guess would be he's actually some form of sentient synthetic meat that crudely disguises itself as other life forms, but only to an accuracy of about 23%. He's awesomely creepy to behold. Seriously, if James popped up on the comms screen of the USS Enterprise, Captain Kirk would gak his own guts out. And that's the sort of behaviour that can undermine a leader's authority.

As I watched, I suddenly realized that this reality contestant "look" – the strangely meticulous hair, the overdone tan, the teeth, the eyebrows – this is what we'll be laughing at in 30 years' time. Just as people still insist on finding 70s sideburns or 80s "big hair" hilarious, so the fancy-dress partygoers of the future will be staggering drunkenly down the high street looking like a cross between Peter Andre and a sexually ambiguous robot.

Ah, you say, but we already laugh at that look now. And you're right, we do. But try telling that to your offspring, 30 years from now. They'll assume it was all taken sincerely at the time, like those 70s sideburns were. What's more, they'll think everyone looked like that. There won't be any photos or videos around to prove otherwise. Ah, you say a second time, but we film and photograph every waking moment of our lives! And once more, you're on to something. But nothing we film and shoot now will be compatible with whatever holographic hand widgets we'll be using in the future. And the quality will seem appalling. Think of the first phone you ever got with a built-in camera. Still got all those pictures, have you? Of course not: the quality is appalling. Some of those pixels are the size of your fist. And, besides, you lost them years ago. That phone's probably in a drawer somewhere, surrounded by defunct chargers and a hole punch you used a grand total of once.

What I'm saying is the inmates of Geordie Shore, The Only Way is Essex and Made in Chelsea represent our generation's "time capsule" for the future. That's how the people of 2042 will think we look, spoke and behaved. Which is a shame because they're not supposed to be representative. They're supposed to be different from "normal people". They're walking caricatured receptacles for spite. Their job is to make absolutely everyone who tunes in hate them. Instantly hate them. Hate them so much they can't take their eyes off them. The plucked eyebrows make it 5% faster to form a grudge, which makes James something of a genius. Turns out you can polish a turd.

People no longer simply aspire to be famous. They aspire to be hated. "Authorised media hate figure" is now a valid career. Which brings me to the curious sensation I mentioned at the start. I realized that maybe we need these people. Maybe we're all so angry and disappointed and bewildered, we need a free bunch of people to look down on and despise: they're a handy vessel. This is a noble public duty they're carrying out. They're our stress balls. Our punchbags. Our ballbags. If it wasn't for the cast of Geordie Shore, and countless others like them, you'd be killing your neighbours with your bare hands.

The Church Of Scientology allegedly believes it's most famous celebrity convert Tom Cruise has telekinetic and telepathic powers, it has been reported.
Tom, 50, is the most famous follower of the religion and an investigation by Rolling Stone back in 2006 revealed that he had reached an advanced level of Scientology and was known as an ‘Operating Thetan’ or an ‘OT’.
The author of the investigation, Janet Reitman, explained that OTs ‘have total control over themselves and their environment.

‘OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behaviour of, both animals and human beings.’

She explained: ‘At the highest levels, they are allegedly liberated from the physical universe, to the point where they can psychically control what Scientologists call MEST: Matter, Energy, Space and Time.’

Ouze wrote:What a nice little snippet of writing.

reds8n wrote:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2171741/Tom-Cruise-believed-telekinetic-telepathic-powers-according-Scientologists.html

The Church Of Scientology allegedly believes it's most famous celebrity convert Tom Cruise has telekinetic and telepathic powers, it has been reported.
Tom, 50, is the most famous follower of the religion and an investigation by Rolling Stone back in 2006 revealed that he had reached an advanced level of Scientology and was known as an ‘Operating Thetan’ or an ‘OT’.
The author of the investigation, Janet Reitman, explained that OTs ‘have total control over themselves and their environment.

‘OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behaviour of, both animals and human beings.’

She explained: ‘At the highest levels, they are allegedly liberated from the physical universe, to the point where they can psychically control what Scientologists call MEST: Matter, Energy, Space and Time.’

... and this is his 3rd divorce ? ....hmm..