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I'd try and find a game the that both you and the girlfriend like. Mine loves painting, so have plenty of mini's from various ranges, but has no interest in 40K because its (a) brutally expensive and (b) watching a few games she's decided it's too boring.

At a show she tried a demo game of 7TV (a pulp spy skirmish game) and loved it, so we've got a starter set for EOTD (a pulp victorian skirmish game), where she's got a vampire faction and I've got some monks. Maybe she'll want to move onto other games, but I'm happy enough to try other games too. Plus it means that 40K remains guy time with my gaming buddy.

I got my girl reading the HH after a few weeks, after she read descent of angels she ended up starting a DA army. Right before they were re released.....
Still though if you can get them into the fiction first then they may see why you play it then.

Well my Girlfriend likes a bit of RolePlay but possibly more the kind that matty was on about

seriously though if i was you i would start her off with something that was simple and fun. Have you considered H.G.Wells Little Wars rules? They are available here

Alternatively maybe Super Dungeon Explorer? I have never played it but i have heard good things about it.

If neither of these then what some of the others have been sugesting would be a good idea-I.E. starting her off with a small skirmish force and working her up from there.

I told my fiancé if she wants me to but her wedding dress then she has to play Space Hulk. She agreed. She loves monopoly and similar games and is ultra-competitive so there is a chance she could get hooked. Which I think is her fear.

Just get her into board games and move from there. Descent might be a good intro to both minis and roleplaying since it has both.

 themourningstar wrote:
Hello all! I'm reaching out for some help here. I'm trying to get my girlfriend- who has absolutely no experience with ANY type of gaming- to get into Warhammer 40k. I mean she literally has no experience... I texted her at work one day and asked her if she'd ever play a role playing game. She asked if I was watching porn or something. xD
Since WH40K is really complex (and kind of inelegant), I was thinking of starting her out on something simpler, easier.
I was thinking Mage Knights. I played it when it first came out, and it was ok. Fast paced, easy to learn. And it's really cheap- you can buy a random case of 200 figures for like $75 on ebay, so it'd be easy to get into. Does anyone have any ideas of any other mini games that might work? I don't have experience with anything other than MK and WH40K, so I'm at a loss. The goal is to get her into WH40K, and then maybe into an actual roleplaying game. Any advice would be awesome and greatly appreciated! Thanks peeps

You might let her pick her own game. Get a few that she might like, such as Historica Rodenta, or Anime Tactics, or even just show her some of your stuff, throw it out there that she might pick an army and show her the choices, and then watch as she starts her own and it goes from there...

You have to give a little to get a little....

If she comes back and tells you something to the effect that she's not interested, candy or diamonds are the backup...

Mine was Disney World, By the way.


Only way to keep from the oncoming buttkicking of Kickstarter...

If she's not into gaming at all, you're just going to waste your time and potentially become 'that weird dude that wanted me to play with his toys'. That said Settlers of Catan is a pretty common 'advanced' board game; I've run into LOTS of people that have played it, but then again most of my friends are gamers of some sort and I work as a statistician so my circle of acquaintances is a bit nerdier than average.

My wife is a relatively light gamer, although she used to play in RPGs a lot. (We've both mostly stopped because it gets a lot harder once you aren't living on campus and your entire group lives within 5 minutes of each other.) She tried 40k once or twice and didn't really care for it. We played one or two games of Mordheim and she wasn't a huge fan or foe of it. She did, however, have fun playing D&D minis and, ugh, that snap-fit pirate ship game that WizKids did awhile back. She liked them because 1) The rules were relatively simple, and you could fit them onto a fairly comprehensive rule summary on a single page and 2) Unit stats are printed right on the card or unit. Plus, well, pirates are cool and she had fun killing my elves with her orcs and goblins. She.... does not care for elves very much.

 Polonius wrote:
There's some good advice here, and if you want to get your girlfriend to game, follow them.

I'd recommend against it, however. Unless she's interested, why would you want to encourage her to get involved in that area of your life? If you don't have time to game because you're always with her, that's a problem that should be solved by setting and keeping boundaries, not by trying to get her to play with you.

Dont' get me wrong, shared interests are great, and it's good to have stuff you both like. But I really think that a good long term relationship should leave room for each person to have their own hobbies.

Just to follow up on this, my wife has ZERO interest in gaming. Note that she's not allergic to the sci-fi or fantasy genres -- there are some shows and movies she likes, although she's hardly a devotee. And she has no issues with it being one of MY hobbies...she gives me room for it. She just has extreme disinterest in experiencing it herself.

And you know what? It works out just fine. It works great, actually.

Something to keep in mind the next time one of these "trying to get WAGs into gaming"/"trying to find a girl that's already into gaming" threads crops up on Dakka.

 kronk wrote:

 jonolikespie wrote:
40k Kill team? Isn't that still a thing?

Alternatively a good way to get people into the hobby is to get them to find a model they like then stick it and a paintbrush in their hands.

The Battle Missions book that came out in 5th Edition had kill team rules in it. Should be easily adoptable for 6th.

I second battle missions or necromunda. I started with necromunda and progressed to 40k and fantasy.

Much easier.

 cincydooley wrote:

 Polonius wrote:
There's some good advice here, and if you want to get your girlfriend to game, follow them.

I'd recommend against it, however. Unless she's interested, why would you want to encourage her to get involved in that area of your life? If you don't have time to game because you're always with her, that's a problem that should be solved by setting and keeping boundaries, not by trying to get her to play with you.

Dont' get me wrong, shared interests are great, and it's good to have stuff you both like. But I really think that a good long term relationship should leave room for each person to have their own hobbies.

This is an incredibly wise post. Follow it.

Very wise. My fiancee is a model and travels a lot, so I use that time to work on minis and paint and game. When she's home, we spend most of the time together. But she does enjoy light gaming; as I said in a previous post she likes simple card games like Igor (and she ordered Cards Against Humanity) and she loves Munchkin. She likes dragons and whatnot so actually does have an elf army w/ dragons and she's looking forward to painting it - as a "us spending time together" kind of thing. She also likes Lord of the Rings so I got the Mines of Moria set to game with her. That and The Hobbit box sets are actually a really good way to start, if your girlfriend likes LotR/Hobbi, as the intro scenarios are very board game like and simple to learn. There is room for some overlap but do take Polonius' advice in that you shouldn't force an interest and some breathing space is always good for a relationship!

 kitch102 wrote:
My wife, as a treat, agreed to play a beginners game with me at my flgs - it was awesome, the manager there is fantastic for bringing it to life as the game unfolds, which made it more enjoyable for her.

Sadly she hasn't got in to the game at all for whatever reason, though she did enjoy the game as delivered by Tris (flgs manager). From personal experience I recommend starting here.

Hate to tell you this, but it really wasn't the game... It was Tris she was into.

My wife has never wanted to play 40k. However, when I started playing Malifaux, she liked the look of the game. She asked questions about the fluff and why it was western/horror looking. She read the first rule book and now plays that. She likes the look of the models too. Not to mention we didnt need to sell one of our children to finance her crew.

tried once with an ex. she said dont try to trick me into playing your nerd crap. lol.

my wife now isnt interested she says all the rules seem annoying, confusing and just "too much" for her. i havnt bothered trying, it would be like trying to teach math to someone who hates and is bad at math.

orkybenji wrote:
Just get her into board games and move from there. Descent might be a good intro to both minis and roleplaying since it has both.

The D&D boardgames (Ravenloft, Ashardalon, Drizzt) are a better start, IMO. Simpler and faster, playable with 2 people and no GM - and cooperative. Also, you can paint the figures together.

My wife really loves computer games and sunk a lot of time into EQ2 where she had an elf mage.

After about a year after I got back into the hobby I got her an elf to paint. She really enjoyed it and was proud of her work. I then decided to get island of blood between us and we have had quite a few games. She enjoyed it but finds it hard to remember all the rules.

I now do her a crib sheet with unit equipment, wepon stats etc.

If said individual is an adult and hasn't already developed an interest in some of fantasy/sci fi, be it artwork, video games, novels, etc, they probably won't be interested. Scifi/F has been part of mainstream culture since at least the 70s now. I don't know how you wouldn't be exposed to it unless you hid out in the woods under a rock. It's just not everyone's cup of tea.

Yea, I would say the important thing is making sure she has some interest in playing, or wait for her to develop some. Nobody gets into a game that is presented as a chore their boyfriend wheedled them into doing. If she seems interested in some aspect of it feel free to encourage that interest, but there's no way to trick someone into enjoying something.

My girlfriend has about as much interest in war gaming as she does in wearing a coat made of venomous spiders.That's fine by me - pushing the matter would just make her less interested.

If I mentioned to my wife about playing role play games tonight, she would come down in her nurses outfit, and look seriously piss'ed when im getting my 40k models out instead.

She won't even come into the shop with me if we pass one while shopping, she says the staff are too full on and too happy all the time. I see her point as if you have no interest then it is pretty in your face.

Oh well, back to doctors and nurses.

My girlfriend went out and bought herself a load of daemons and paints and brushes and all sorts of stuff all on her own. But I think I managed to kill her enthusiasm by trying to 'help' her too much. Sometimes you don't realise how overbearing you are being. When you make it obvious that you really want someone to like something, it puts them under a lot of pressure to like it, which can end up making them feel more negative than anything else.

I think the best way to encourage someone to like something is to not encourage them at all. Just enjoy it yourself and let them see you enjoy it. If they take an interest then let them, but don't help them unless they ask, and even then... keep it short and sweet.

Edit:

I also tend to think starting with an RPG is a good idea for someone new. RPGs kind of set the scene for characters with stats that you roll against for outcomes, and using your imagination etc... Which I think makes 40k easier to grasp. I think if you come at 40k from a board game perspective, it could seem a bit over complicated, and abstract.

 leroy233 wrote:
If I mentioned to my wife about playing role play games tonight, she would come down in her nurses outfit, and look seriously piss'ed when im getting my 40k models out instead.

She won't even come into the shop with me if we pass one while shopping, she says the staff are too full on and too happy all the time. I see her point as if you have no interest then it is pretty in your face.

Oh well, back to doctors and nurses.

My wife has no interest in playing (Although she dose like my painted minis as art/statues, so I get to have them on display ), however she must go in to hobby shops with me on the basis that If I have to spend hours discussing the diffrence between a black balet pump and a navy blue kitten heel (WTF do cat's nead shoes) or being glared at by middle aged women whilst i have to fain an interest in wether her new dress would look better with a push up bra or a plunge bra (hint, I don't give a crap as long as it's not to fiddley to un-do after 3 pints) she is dam well going to put up with me spending a few moment discussing the choice of load out on a predator when I go in my FLGS

I actually rather like my girlfriend having very little interest in wargaming, for me its my non girlfriend social thing i do, god knows we do enough social things together so the time apart is good.

However she does like looking at painted stuff specially LOTR as he loves the books / movies, has a rough interest in what i do and even puts up with me going on excitingly about some historical research i have done for one of my various armies. Think she also like the quiet time my hobby gives her, such as me painting away all night but likes the fact i am still around. Though i mainly play historical and i think it would be harder to get her into that then one of the more 'geeky' rather than 'beardy' settings

As for if i wanted her to get into gaming, well board games would be a good start, we have board game nights with other couples so it would probably not be such a leap to look at playing something like space hulk... small baby steps i think.




Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh and she will not do the local games workshop with me anymore as last time she was rather unpleasantly leered at be a few unwashed game store hermits...

She will in general indulge me by going into any other model shop however

My wife paints my armies.

She doesn't really want to game, but she even goes in GW on her own for things she needs now.

Fearless...

yea i think maybe playing some beer and pretzel games with some friends would fit your goal of getting her to game but not pushing her into that aspect of your life. try a game like munchkin, zombies, descent, settlers of catan, those are just some i've played with my gf and had a lot of fun. The "cute" games are a hit too, like that new game rivet war in the News and Rumor forum...

 Salad_Fingers wrote:
I actually rather like my girlfriend having very little interest in wargaming, for me its my non girlfriend social thing i do, god knows we do enough social things together so the time apart is good.

Exactly, unless she displays a desperate desire to be involved that doesn’t come down to just wanting to spend time with you, I’d be in two minds about encouraging this. I think a separate hobby is a healthy thing to have in a relationship. If she resents you going away for gaming nights or tournaments I’d encourage her to find a hobby of her own.

Stereotypically speaking, women tend to favor small skirmish games, dungeon crawls and anthropomorphic miniatures...and RPGs as opposed to games like 40K.

You might consider picking up a copy of a good dungeon crawl board game and having a go at that to get the feet wet, than maybe running a freeform crawl using a resolution system like the game you are trying to coax her towards if she seems to like that. Depending on her particular bent towards competition - it might be best to avoid playing "against" her, as sometimes that does not go over too well.

There is a pretty good chance that no matter what you do, she will not see the appeal of deformed and otherwise ugly figures which are common in many GW armies or the big guns and tanks that make it popular amongst its target demographic. In which case, you should be open to games like Brushfire (very popular with the ladies), Infinity (prettier models), Anima Tactics (ties into the anime genre which she may already be more comfortable with) or some other game.

My wife plays a little 40k, but she really enjoys painting and modelling. I did get her started by playing Eurogames, because she had never played any board games besides monopoly and life. Once I got her to think outside the box, we played a lot of Shadows Over Camelot, where it was the two of us against the game. We both won or lost as a team. That helped a lot. From there she tried D&D, and eventually 40K. It took years,but now she enjoys gaming, and we try and do one "gaming" vacation (Origins, Gencon, etc.) a year.

Don't try and make her play if she doesn't want to, or has no interest. Just point out that you are a dork (that's ok, we all are here) and that when you game, she can go shopping for candles or makeup or do whatever she likes and you hate doing. leave her a note (or text, e-mail, whatever, I'm old) and spend some quality time with her later on.

Also, don't try and get her to play Kingdom Death: Monster when it comes out, I'm not sure if the game will be too popular with the ladies.