Describe your funeral. Who will tell the story of your life?

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**ImotekhTheStormlord**

purplefood wrote:
First there will be a reading of how I died by Logan Cunningham. I imagine the way I died will be so incredibly awesome that, when combined with his voice, it will incite more than a few heart attacks from sheer awesome or possibly an orgy.
After that various tributes and offerings will be placed at the feet of a 1,000 ft statue of me killing two dragons with my bare hands while cooking a 7 course meal for the royal family.
Tributes will include, but are not limited to: The sound of a deafening silence, what women really think, the secret spices of KFC, a kit-kat and the happiness of a child.
After the world wide mourning has ended and the world has united in the grief over my death I will resurrect myself and lead humanity to a golden future.
How I died. Disclaimer: Not for the faint of heart.

Spoiler:

The Russians had stolen the new super-ultra prototype submersible flying aircraft carrier that can also go invisible and turn into a robot from the US and the only one who could stop them was me. All I had was my laser gun armed Spitfire and a knife. I gave chase and eventually corned them over Hong-Kong, we began to duel. The Russians launched their stolen jets at me but I shot them down with ease (Communist pilots cannot begin to imagine our capitalist ways). I dodged past their triple flak rocket cannon and destroyed their invisibility generator. Fearing defeat the Russian Tsar-Premier-Necromancer ordered them to dive and hide in the sea like the communist cowards they were. In the chase I had taken a hit in my fuel tank and was out of fuel. Never one to worry I pulled my electric guitar from its harness on my back and plugged it into the fuel tank and began to play. My engine, now powered by rock and roll roared into life and I dove into the sea in pursuit. Using my toes to steer I chased the Russians all the way to their secret underwater, flying base in Atlantis. Just as I arrived the sunken city began to shake and the ground around i crumbled as it took off. I chased the city out of the sea and into space before observing them setting down on the Moon. Moon-Atlantis was a formidable stronghold. Armed with communist rays and anti-freedom laser guns the moon-city-fortress was near impenetrable but it was my duty to all free people of the world to defeat them. Quickly rushing back to my base in Guernsey I picked up my mega-super-ultra-giga nuke and took off. I arrived at Moon-Atlantis just as the Russians were about to fire their giant anti-freedom laser and enslave all of humanity in their fishy communist will. I played an incredible guitar riff and super charged my spitfire into the mouth of the cannon and detonating the bomb my steed carried. The explosion destroyed Moon-Atlantis and burned a gigantic bald eagle onto the face of the moon.

Rousing stuff.

**Alfndrate**

For being a Brit, I do enjoy how very 'MURICAN Purps' death is

**Tibbsy**

My Dad genuinely said to me once that he wanted his body to be launched from a trebuchet while 50 clay pigeon shooters lined the route and shot him, to the tune of Jimi Hendix's Little Wing.

I'm fairly certain he was joking, but I fully intend to honour that wish

Also; I want to go Viking style, on a burning longboat

**xole**

poppa G wrote:
xole wrote:
I would want no service, no tombstone, no party, no gathering, no cremation, no burial, just to disappear completely.

I'm not sure if this is possible...you can't just walk in to the abyss? So to speak.

You can explode into it.

**Dreadclaw69**

I'll be dead so I won't care

Looking at it rationally though I'm 10 years younger than my wife, younger than most of her family, and with my own family in another country 3,500 miles away so who knows who gets the short straw for me

**Khornholio**

The Benny Hill theme music would tell my life's story.

**shrike**

songs that will be played:
Highway to hell
Guile's theme (it goes with everything)
The final countdown
Don't fear the reaper
Another one bites the dust
Hell ain't a bad place to be
Staying alive
I will survive
Wake me up before you go-go
Thriller
Be quick or be dead
Going underground
God is dead
Here I go again

On a (ever so slightly) more serious (but no less awesome) note:
- Wasted years by Iron Maiden
- Stairway to heaven by Led Zeppelin
- Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd
- Always look on the bright side of life by Monty Python

Other details:
Free skittles for all attendees.
Fireworks and confetti must be featured at some point.
My coffin will be carried outside, over to a lake, onto a boat, and will be shot by a flaming arrow once adrift to the tune of "burn, baby burn" or "one shot at glory".
That, or have a gravestone inscribed with this:

Spoiler:

In my will, I will include someone I hate, just for the dude who reads them out to say "and to ______, I wish to say, "I brought you all the way here for nothing, HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Or perhaps arrange a proper christian funeral, just to slip in "Holy Smoke" by Iron Maiden (if you know the lyrics you'll know why)