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I once played a game against a married couple and the wife had her huge cans flowing out of her low cut top. I spent the entire game trying not to get caught staring down the barrels of her twin linked mammary cannons but the view was just too inviting. The guy managed not to notice because he was too busy bitching about how bad I was messing him up and checking and rechecking his codex and his rules to find a way to win.

 agonzoman00 wrote:
I once played a game against a married couple and the wife had her huge cans flowing out of her low cut top. I spent the entire game trying not to get caught staring down the barrels of her twin linked mammary cannons but the view was just too inviting. The guy managed not to notice because he was too busy bitching about how bad I was messing him up and checking and rechecking his codex and his rules to find a way to win.

oooOOOO WHAMMMMY!!

 SheSpits wrote:
I was afraid he was going to hurt her again. I wasnt going to walk away and find some one. The guy was beat red and heated to the point of being red. If i didnt stop him he would have walke out with the young girls cards. I tried to talk to him and backed him into the wall but i didnt want to brawl so i grabed his arm twisted it behind him lifted up his left arm and pinned it against his head and neck "choke". While i asked for some one to get the manager. He kept trying to get aound me and in some not so nice words i told him to waite because there is no way in hell im letting him get out of the store.

Wow, SheSpits, if that was real (and I want to believe its fake because the idea of some guy being able to do that to a girl makes my blood boil), then that's fethed up beyond belief. I hope he had the cops called and was arrested for assault, attempted theft, and then sent to the hospital for a psych evaluation; because that guy is clearly not in full control of his grey matter.

 timetowaste85 wrote:

 SheSpits wrote:
I was afraid he was going to hurt her again. I wasnt going to walk away and find some one. The guy was beat red and heated to the point of being red. If i didnt stop him he would have walke out with the young girls cards. I tried to talk to him and backed him into the wall but i didnt want to brawl so i grabed his arm twisted it behind him lifted up his left arm and pinned it against his head and neck "choke". While i asked for some one to get the manager. He kept trying to get aound me and in some not so nice words i told him to waite because there is no way in hell im letting him get out of the store.

Wow, SheSpits, if that was real (and I want to believe its fake because the idea of some guy being able to do that to a girl makes my blood boil), then that's fethed up beyond belief. I hope he had the cops called and was arrested for assault, attempted theft, and then sent to the hospital for a psych evaluation; because that guy is clearly not in full control of his grey matter.

He was arrested the girl pressed charges. She never came there again, her cards where at a loss from what i was told due to not being able to pin point owner ship of whos cards where whos. The video tape only shows me cornering the guy, so i was arrested put into the crusier and was taken down to the station for questions. The girl stated what happend and the guy admited to what he did. They asked the guy if he wanted to press charges on me and he said no so i was let go. Since i didnt hurt the guy and all i did was detain/restrant him i was let go,Shortly after that place was closed. I forgot to add he was off his meds and wasnt able to control his anger he was 29 years old and has a list of mental problems. I no longer live in that state so im not all to sure whats going on now. I also had a run in with Yugioh players in that state stealing 40k minis and breaking them outside the store.

Pretty sure only one word sums up that scenario: 'wow'.

It's been too long since we had a good horror story thread, I'm very happy. Can't wait to see some of the classics come up here.

As for me, the weirdest moment was not so much in a game itself, but in the store, where I kinda took on an impromptu security role as a guy kept coming in and trying to shoplift BL books until I called him out on it, and then he took off.

Played a crazy cat lady at a FLGS one time who had a bunch of IG

I was using Eldar and while I'm deploying she takes out the Imperial soldier's handbook and starts spouting off the Eldar entry in a bizarre accent while looking up at me from time to time with an awful looking lazy eye

I've never deployed nor played through my turns faster in my time playing 40K

Got the hell outta there and never went back

 Alfndrate wrote:

Stoupe wrote:
Once is one thing... Every time you get a turn (and he was playing magic so fast turns) is another.

Bring a pair of stunner shades with you, and when you beat him into the ground, put them on and stare at him and say, "I guess my #SWAG is too much for you brah! #YOLO!"

You must say hashtag for the # sign and yell YOLO.

This thread was calling me...

I had a game against a regular player that's following the trend codex-wise and follows net lists to ,self-admittedly, crush people.
I had a game against him where he probably should have crushed me with his Tau, but thanks to a logic-defying luck I barely won.
All the while he said how much he was disgusted ,that it should have never gone this way. The look on his face when I ended up winning made me feel bad. Felt like crushing a little kid's kitten with a truck. Not seen him since...

Swan-of-War wrote:
Had to tell a guy that "just because your shorts are camoflauged, doesn't mean your boner is too."

"It's infiltrating."

Went to a tournament last February. Of course, they're a bit noisy anyway, but I also had an ill-timed ear problem that made everything sound like I was underwater, so I had to ask people what they said a lot of times. This started to feel uncomfortable, especially with an opponent with a strong accent, who had problems understanding me as well. The worst part was spending about two minutes trying to explain to said opponent "Wait, the penalty I thought applied to that model didn't, so I've actually killed that beast." He eventually gave me it, and I was sure it was legit, but I was left with a nagging worry that from his point of view, I'd been TFG, hectoring him to get an advantage.

 Easy E wrote:
Well, I did say we had different gaming styles. My preferred style is pantless.

Was it a sneaky way of pre-measuring? I read something in an old White Dwarf about gamers who would memorise the length of their forearms and find lots of excuses to lean across the table. And if there's one body part whose size the average man will have memorised.....

Played against a man in drag whose shorts were WAY too tight.
Like a mouse stuck in a denim vacuum bag.

Awkward Gaming Experiences?

Well, if we include general experiences, an ex-girlfriend of mine got groped by some sweaty neckbeard.

 High_Marshal_Helbrecht wrote:
Awkward Gaming Experiences?

Well, if we include general experiences, an ex-girlfriend of mine got groped by some sweaty neckbeard.

+1 Internet to you for not ending your post with how you Kung-Fu'd him and then smashed and held his back against the wall with his feet off the ground

A few months ago we were playing Cards Against Humanity, and we had to explain to a 25+ year old woman what a clitoris was.

I didn't get a chance to, she'd punched him in the nose before I even had a clue what was going on!

And I'd do it again!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!






I keeed, I keeed!

My worst game was at a tourney back on '09. I was playing Marines against an IG player. He was a pretty hardcore WAAC guy. I had crashed his vendetta and was using it as cover, and when he went to shoot at my guys I used his vehichle to get a cover save. He went on a rant about how his vendetta wasn't actually on the ground and how it was flying in the air with his guyss trying to get control of it and because of this, wasn't ACTUALLY on the ground for me to get my cover save. This was my first tourney and while I knew i was in the right, I wasn't gonna argue with some guy I didn't know. I went over and asked the TO and the guy tried to argue the same point to the TO. The TO sided with me, and the look of annoyance on his face while the guy was telling him all this was priceless. And to top it off I won the game!

 SheSpits wrote:
Ive had two really BAD times inside a LGS. One was a game i played with a guy who was in the SPEC OP's. He was on leave and from the UK

He was full of gak

 Easy E wrote:
Well, I did say we had different gaming styles. My preferred style is pantless.

 Elemental wrote:
Was it a sneaky way of pre-measuring? I read something in an old White Dwarf about gamers who would memorise the length of their forearms and find lots of excuses to lean across the table. And if there's one body part whose size the average man will have memorised.....

Yeah, I was planning on firing my Basilisk maximum range.

 SheSpits wrote:


Second time i was at a LGS and it was FNM. I noticed this heavy set guy getting very angry at the girl he was playing. I guess she pulled a card that does not let you get past 1 life. He threw his cards in her face and decked her right in the face. He knocked her out and started to put his cards back into his "pokemon" back pack and threw her cards in there aswell. I was the only one who seen what happend as the place was packed and they where sitting in the very back at a table for just them in the GW section. I was more in shock at what happened then running over to assist. Once i snapped out i made my way over there and put him into standing choke. Until the store manager came to the back and seen the girl on the floor crying and me chocking the guy out.

Good for you...Glad you choked the heck out of that guy

 Howard A Treesong wrote:

Stoupe wrote:
There was this nerd who said "YOLO" about 15 times in a half hour, using it like in everyday conversation. It was awkward as hell until two regulars went up and told him to stop politely. Kept happening until 10 min later the same two said "Shut up or I'll gladly get a temporary ban for beating your ass in."

Now that was awkward to watch.

'YOLO', for people too stupid to know what carpe diem means.

I know, right? I hate how young people use different words than me, too. It's just awful. We should all fight young people until they talk like we did back when I was young! Also, I guess we should beat up old people for not talking the same as I do as well. They should listen to the same music as me, too. And only watch my favorite TV shows and movies. Maybe they should stop it with that crazy hair, too.

Actually the #YOLO lifestyle has less to do with the "DEM WURDS IS DIFFERENT" and more of it just being a code to be irresponsible. There is "seize the day" and then jumping out of a plane, and "#YOLO" and then driving 120mph while hammered on lean and vodka.

 Alfndrate wrote:

 Howard A Treesong wrote:

Stoupe wrote:
There was this nerd who said "YOLO" about 15 times in a half hour, using it like in everyday conversation. It was awkward as hell until two regulars went up and told him to stop politely. Kept happening until 10 min later the same two said "Shut up or I'll gladly get a temporary ban for beating your ass in."

Now that was awkward to watch.

'YOLO', for people too stupid to know what carpe diem means.

Whoa! I totes know what Carpe Diem means man, carpe the diem. that's like fishing slang right?

Yeah brah, that's like totes obvie.

Meh, I try not to judge "the yoof" on their slang; I bet I sounded like a right proper berk to older people when I was younger.

I'm pretty sure than less than 1% of people who have ever tweeted "#yolo" have ever had any purple drank or driven over 100 mph. It's young people doing typical irresponsible young people things. Getting angry about that is the exact same as Tipepr Gore getting mad at rappers for swearing, or John Lithgow trying to ban Kevin Bacon from dancing.

 tomjoad wrote:
I'm pretty sure than less than 1% of people who have ever tweeted "#yolo" have ever had any purple drank or driven over 100 mph. It's young people doing typical irresponsible young people things. Getting angry about that is the exact same as Tipepr Gore getting mad at rappers for swearing, or John Lithgow trying to ban Kevin Bacon from dancing.

I agree, but instead of going out and seizing the day and living it to it's fullest, it's the yoof's mantra to just act like an irresponsible idiot...

 Alfndrate wrote:

 tomjoad wrote:
I'm pretty sure than less than 1% of people who have ever tweeted "#yolo" have ever had any purple drank or driven over 100 mph. It's young people doing typical irresponsible young people things. Getting angry about that is the exact same as Tipepr Gore getting mad at rappers for swearing, or John Lithgow trying to ban Kevin Bacon from dancing.

I agree, but instead of going out and seizing the day and living it to it's fullest, it's the yoof's mantra to just act like an irresponsible idiot...

Yes, but that has been "the yoof's" mantra for AT LEAST the past 100 years in the West. Being mad about it seems embarrassing.

 tomjoad wrote:
I'm pretty sure than less than 1% of people who have ever tweeted "#yolo" have ever had any purple drank or driven over 100 mph. It's young people doing typical irresponsible young people things. Getting angry about that is the exact same as Tipepr Gore getting mad at rappers for swearing, or John Lithgow trying to ban Kevin Bacon from dancing.

Based on what I see on Facebook posting, the majority of the YOLO commentary seems to be with pictures related to alcohol consumption.

Saldiven wrote:

 tomjoad wrote:
I'm pretty sure than less than 1% of people who have ever tweeted "#yolo" have ever had any purple drank or driven over 100 mph. It's young people doing typical irresponsible young people things. Getting angry about that is the exact same as Tipepr Gore getting mad at rappers for swearing, or John Lithgow trying to ban Kevin Bacon from dancing.

Based on what I see on Facebook posting, the majority of the YOLO commentary seems to be with pictures related to alcohol consumption.

OK. How does that refute what I said?

 notprop wrote:
And I'd do it again!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!






I keeed, I keeed!

I KEEEEL YOU!