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This is a good idea but it's written with too much of a bias to one side. Which is starting to make it uninteresting.

This is a good idea but it's written with too much of a bias to one side. Which is starting to make it uninteresting.

double post

There will be an interesting equaliser in the aftermath of the invasion involving admiral straston and a better showing of the glactic empire fleet
stay tuned

One thing I noticed is you should give some more description for the scenery like this
"The valkyries descended towards the snow capped mountains below, studded with defense emplacements and lined with trenches. The craft shook from the heavy blowing winds outside turning the outside air into a flurry of white as snow was tossed up by the fury of the low flying valkyries' engines washed across the ground."

I like it so far. One thing though. You've seriously underpowered the Nova cannon.

The Nova Cannon is basically a very large railgun, which fires a projectile which contains a warhead that explodes with the power of a small sun. For a few seconds, the site of detonation is literally a new star. It also covered several thousand kilometers in diameter.

In your first scene, it only destroys the one Destroyer when it really would have obliterated the entire group because of their proximity. Furthermore, its unlikely given such a small number of targets they would have used the Nova cannon at all.

Its not as powerful as the Death Star's turbo-laser against a single target(unless you are unfortunate enough to suffer a direct hit) but it has a very large area of effect.

I think it would be best to focus on criticisms of the actual writing rather than adherence to the fluff, as that's a very deep, deep rabbit hole.

Case in point, the energy of "a small sun" would not be nearly powerful enough to knock out a Star Destroyer. A single shot from a heavy turbo laser contains more energy than the energy generated by our sun, and a Star Destroyer has 19 of them. That can each fire once per 2 seconds.

Best to just leave the fluff dick-measuring at home and focus on the story.

When are we gonna see more for this story??