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Sue had had enough of this Galaxy so decided to see what else was out there.
She grabbed another arvus lander (unarmed of course) and set of for Andromeda.
There she found the Nids had completely taken over led by a planet sized Norn Queen of unbelievable power.
After a dance off in which Sue simply piroetted on the Norn queens head, she made it her pet and took it back to Terra creating a second Moon for Earth.

The Emprah was, ofc, totes fine with this. And it did not create any gravitational issues

But then the inhabitants of Mars got jealous, and caused a rebellion. Why should Terra have 2 moons and Mars not have any? So they set off for the new moon to try and steal it for themselves.

Of course, Mary Sue politely informed the Martians of their own two moons Deimos and Phobos. The Martians were both terribly embarassed and filled with joy after seeing such a beautiful creature.

So after that little sidereal Mary turned her attention to the next ugly race that needed some dressing up (or down). The Crons.....

One of the most famous Necron leaders, whose name I don't know because I'm not dropping twenty-two quid on the Codex (that includes the discount for buying it from Dark Sphere), was giving a speech to his minions, thinking they were skeletons and mummies from Warhammer and not soulless death machines that existed only to destroy.

Suddenly the heavens lit up. A fireball shot towards them. No! Not a fireball! It was Mary Sue, who'd got bored of waiting for the Raven Guard, Relictors and Sons of Bitches Astartes to get into their drop-pods and Thunderhawks. She'd simply jumped out of the ship's launch bay (a bit like Master Chief in the promo for Halo 2) and dropped, face first, sword of ULTIMATE KEN-DOH (TM) POWER ready.

She landed like a comet straight on the Necron Tomb King's head, inflicting D6 Destroyer strength attacks which all inflicted Instant Death, killing the Terminator look-alike at least three times over. BOOYAH, bitches!

Of course, as she fell, everyone had got a good look up her skirt. She knew they would do this, but being a WOMAN, she felt FEMININE OUTRAGE at their perversion, for it was her RIGHT to wear something which revealed her House of Frasier knickers.

"I bet you guys are all MEN!" she shouted. "Prepare to receive my blade up each of your arses!"

The Necrons wished they'd never been reanimated.

Mary Sue would become known as the C'Tan Wrestler, for she wrestled with C'Tan. If the remaining C'Tan fragments gave her any crap, she adopted the cwhyl-whyl-doodle-on-the-Dan attack system.

Mary Sue thus far:

Mary Sue is a fiendishly good-looking redhead from southern Segmentum Solar. She is over 12 feet tall, and wears beautifully adorned armour that is tougher than Terminator armour and as form-fitting as a SoB's battle dress. She created all her wargear herself. Mary is haunted by her dark past, the daughter of an Eldar Farseer and a Custodes, her parents were killed in a secret Inquisitorial conspiracy to PURGE THE ALIEN (racist scumbags). Due to being a half-elf, she was bullied at the orphanage she grew up in. However, she quickly rose to prominence through her skills as a master artificer and logistician. By age 10, she had become the first person in history to be both master of the administratum and the top-ranking military officer of the PDF on her home planet.
Due to her brilliant skills at fighting, crafting wargear and organising anything and everything, she was selected for recruitment into a Space Marine chapter. Not many years into her career as the first (and only) female Space Marine, she surpassed her male comrades, and became selected to be the Chapter Master of a new Chapter, called "Humanity's Saviours". Now she goes around the galaxy as she wants, helping bring the universe ever closer to peace.

Bee-Tee-Dubs, she is also rumoured to be a lost primarch.
Also she's a High Lord of Terra, and regularly meets with the Big E.


Known Skills:
-Able to single-handedly administrate an entire planet
-Master Artificer
-Excellent martial artist, having mastered several arts
-Crack shot
-Is the only person to know the ancient and powerful art "Fist of the ultra-mega power fate of the ninja", with its signature move "Mega Starlight Friendship Dance"
-Able to prevent planetary bodies from exerting gravitational influence on other celestial objects. (RE: The planet sized Norn Queen orbiting Terra)
-Can free fall from orbit to the ground without taking damage, but sometimes uses a jetpack or flier anyway.

Wargear:
-Armour of the boundless (able to withstand the energy from a massive plasma reactor)
-A tight silk dress (for warp excursions)
-An Astartes-Pattern Vulkan Mega bolter (for hunting small targets)
-ENERGY BLADE of the ULTIMATE KEN-DOH POWER (TM) (Do I even need to explain this?)
-Iron Halo (It's mostly decorative at this point)
-An indeterminate number of Arvus Lighters/Aquila Landers (for when she needs a dramatic entrance)

Alternative Names / Aquired Titles:
-The C'tan Wrestler
-Tamer of Tyranids


Anecdotes:
-One killed an entire necron army by herself, including permanently killing Imotekh, the storm lord.
-Tamed a planet-sized Norn Queen from Andromeda (it now orbits Terra as a defence platform)
-One outran Jain Zar and out-fought Lilieth
-Can bench-press a warhound titan (probably)
-Rescued Leman Russ from the Warp
-Saved Marneus Calgar's soul. He then bequeathed the Ultramarines chapter to her.

She may be able to fight, but soon Sue came across a different challenge. She found Eminem from the future, and has been dragged into a rap battle to the death. Will she win?

OOC: Someone who knows rap NEEDS to write a wrap battle for this

After defeating Eminem with a rap so beautiful and elegant that it can not be displayed on M3 cogitators Mary Sue proceeded on her next, great journey: Remaking the ugly, smelly Imperial Guard into something more refined in Mary's eyes.

Her first step? Replacing the Leman Russ with a tasteful hybrid compact. Low on defensive/offensive capabilities, maximum environmental friendliness!

Concept art:



Some enterprising guardsmen have suggested ways to attach guns to it, but most only see it for its camouflage capabilities.

The Guardsmen also go through rigorous training regiments of spitting sick bars and suplexing, for some reason. Another phenomenon only known to the amazing mind of Mary Sue.

OOC: I don't even know if I have the abilities to write a rap good enough for Sue

The Commissariat has been abolished. Instead, each Guardsman is issued a picture of Mary Sue's face featuring her legendary smile. These pictures are known to drive Guardsmen to acts of insane bravery rivaling that of Astartes.

OOC: Oh god it's spreading.

Mary's save is a re-rollable 2+/2++. She has the Stealth and Shrouded special rules and gets a Jink save against Overwatch fire. In order to avoid offending her rights being being found in breach of sex discrimination legislation, Ignores Cover doesn't work against her.

The ENERGY WEAPON of ULTIMATE KEN-DO (TM) POWER: Melee, Concussive, Master Crafted, Force, S10 AP2 but becomes SD and AP1 if you roll a 6 to hit. Causes fear in all opponents, even if they normally ignore Fear by any means, and all Fear tests are taken at -2 Ld.

Bolt Pistol of Arse Kickery: Assault 2, Strikedown, Master Crafted, fires thermal doom rounds which have the Melts special rule.

Legacy of the Bitches: Carries plasma grenades gifted to her by Iyanden Craftworld after she rescued them from the Tyranids and bravely gave credit to Prince Whatsisname. Always counts as having assault and defensive grenades and confers these two grenade types to her entire army.

Chosen of the Universe: Psyker, ML4. Can choose any four powers from any Codex in any combination. May take Psychic Focus in any one discipline in addition. (If she chooses all four powers from another discipline she doesn't also get Psychic Discipline from that, unless the person playing her is female and starts to get upset. Then she can have what she wants.)

Never Outgunned: Rampage. Mary Sue always counts as being outnumbered, even though a hundred hormagaunts are only worth 0.01 Mary Sues. The opposing player can never claim Rampage in any combat involving Mary Sue - it always goes to Mary Sue's side.

I Am No Man: Models whose gender is male may not shoot at Mary Sue or attack her in assault. If Mary Sue suffers Randomly Allocated wounds from a model that is male, the wounds must be distributed among the attacking males instead. If in doubt about a model's gender, assume it is male. (Don't tell Mary Sue you have assumed this.)

OOC: I am *this* close to making a model of her.

Let's get up a descriptions for her ENERGY WEAPON of ULTIMATE KEN-DO (TM) POWER, shall we?

I'd imagine starting with a Muramasa from Terraria for size, but then making the blade like Rambo's combat dagger with unrealistic looking curves and stuff added to it? It might look ridiculous but you definitely don't want to get stabbed by that bugger.

If you do a model of her kicking Abaddon up the arse (he could be a separate attachable piece to her model) I'll write you into my will!

I would love to (but probably won't) get a model of her beating up Horus.

Ah that's better. I suppose kicking a renegade Emperor Titan wouldn't look too realistic, even for her.

I forgot to make rules about her Ultra-Mega Fate of the Ninja power.

This gives her Furious Charge, Rage and Counter-Attack. She never counts as making a Disordered Charge, even if she charges two units at once.

Iron Rose: Mary Sue is so hard she can charge two different units at the same time. This may require you or your opponent to shuffle models around to meet their doom.

Need to give her rules for suplexes and rapping in challenges. Because reasons.

Hoedown Throwdown: Mary Sue always issues challenges and you may choose which of your opponent's models fights. Other enemy characters may not make a heroic intervention as she glares at them and intimidates them out of it. You and your opponent must have a rap battle of some description. You may instead play any rap music. The best song automatically wins (Gangstas Paradise, for example). Boy band songs from the 90s are acceptable if they have a pointless rap bit forced into them, eg many of the Backstreet Boys early songs. Regardless of the result, Mary Sue always strikes first and all of her opponents melee attacks have the Gets Hot! special rule.

Come on then, all of you, slags!: If Mary Sue kills her opponent in a challenge she challenges the next character until either she fails to kill one, or they are all dead.

For the Honour of Terra: Mary Sue raises her energy blade to the heavens and it is struck by a bolt of lightning. She gains the Eternal Warrior, It Will Not Die and Monstrous Creature special rules for the rest of the battle.

Beautiful. Truly a piece of art.

Thanks haha She could even have her own psychic deck:

Warez Me!: Warp Charge 1. One model in Mary Sue's army gains her formidable WS, BS, S, T, I, A and becomes a Monstrous Creature (if she activated her FTHoT special rule as above). It also gains Rampage (see Mary Sue's rules for Rampage). If she chooses to Warez herself she instead becomes a Gargantuan Monstrous Creature while the power is in effect.

Warp Domination: Warp Charge 2. Mary Sue transforms into an electric, burning, two-headed eagle. Place the Apocalyptic Blast template centred on Mary Sue. All enemy models touched by the template suffer an S10 hit with Armourbane and Fleshbane with AP2 and Soul Blaze. Mary Sue becomes a Flying Gargantuan Monstrous Creature for the rest of this game turn. All of her attacks (from whatever source) have Soul Blaze.

The Wolf Time: Warp Charge 3. Mary Sue summons the Primarch Leman Russ. He Deep Strikes, without scattering, anywhere within 6" of Mary Sue. He arrives in a Land Raider. With three Wolf Priests wearing Terminator armour. The Land Raider has Precision Shots on all its weapons.

Unrepentant Angel: Warp Charge 4. Roll a D6. On a 2+, you immediately win the game. Screw victory points.

Mary Sue: 100 points.

*** This is all well and good, but what happens when opposing players both include Mary Sue in their army lists? ***

 snurl wrote:
*** This is all well and good, but what happens when opposing players both include Mary Sue in their army lists? ***

40K 8th edition is made.

Less rules, more fluff. Wheres Sue off to next?

Agreed.

Sue never really got any Christmas presents, so she goes to the man who makes it all happen for the good Imperial boys and girls to sort him out...

OOC: Let's see who would kill their childhood

So off Sue went to Mars.
Despite finding the Fabricator General a touch ugly, Sue realised he was trying his best to give every guardsman and woman a nice present to make War with.
As a result she decided to take over Mars and its forges and requisition one of each for every IG trooper:
A pirate hat
An Ipod
A coffee mug with I love the Emperor on it
A Baneblade.

Soon the armies of the IG were curbstomping any and all who got in their way thanks to Sue.

Sue? You still around?