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I love all those highlighted things. Haven't lived at home in a very long time. Maybe I should rethink my life and get some free rent. She has a whole basement going to waste and I am out here paying money on a place of my own to goof off, do drugs, and jerk off in!

@ redleger: Have you thought about moving in with your wife's Mum, just to mix it up a bit?

 Alex Kolodotschko wrote:
@ redleger: Have you thought about moving in with your wife's Mum, just to mix it up a bit?

Oh god no, I would sell my armies, my dirt bike and 3rd born daughter to not have to do that. She is a vile woman.

There's a few of those 'cut back on' things that don't seem like they'd interfere with living on your own unless you've decided to sit in the corner and play D&D while masturbating all day instead of going to work. Whole lotta judgement going on in this thread, especially considering he's asking for advice on living by himself. "Get the feth out" or "you're going to live at home until you're forty" isn't helpful, he's already working on heading out on his own.

There's a few things I wish I'd thought more about when I moved out a couple years ago -

1) Job. Can you keep doing your old one? If not, have you got one lined up that'll cover your expenses? Do some serious research into cost of living, I badly undercalculated what I was going to need. Savings disappear faster than you think.

2) Roommates - you're going to want them, and you're going to want to get along with them. That doesn't mean you have to be friends. One of my roommates was a guy that, while a lot of fun to hang out with and VERY generous with some excellent bourbon, was a huge pain in the ass to live with. Lots of little things had to be just the way he liked, and apparently I 'walked too quietly' when I was in common areas. I like him better now that we're no longer in the same house. :p

3) Food! If you can't, learn how to cook. You don't want frozen meals and fast food all the time. It's cheaper and better for you to cook for yourself at least a few times a week.

4) Contingency plans. What do you do if your car breaks down? What if something goes wrong with the water? How about the AC or heat? Try and plan that out so it's less of a headache when it happens.

5) Get ready to realize that you forgot something important that you need. Might be a screwdriver, might be a vacuum cleaner...try and set aside money in your budget to get things like that.

6) Upkeep. Cleaning up is always more work than you anticipate. Either divide things up with your roommates or start doing stuff when you see them working. No one likes to be the designated janitor.

Does anyone have a spare hot Mom that I can move in with? Maybe just a couple of nights a week. BAM.

 Spinner wrote:
There's a few of those 'cut back on' things that don't seem like they'd interfere with living on your own unless you've decided to sit in the corner and play D&D while masturbating all day instead of going to work. Whole lotta judgement going on in this thread, especially considering he's asking for advice on living by himself. "Get the feth out" or "you're going to live at home until you're forty" isn't helpful, he's already working on heading out on his own.

There's a few things I wish I'd thought more about when I moved out a couple years ago -

1) Job. Can you keep doing your old one? If not, have you got one lined up that'll cover your expenses? Do some serious research into cost of living, I badly undercalculated what I was going to need. Savings disappear faster than you think.

2) Roommates - you're going to want them, and you're going to want to get along with them. That doesn't mean you have to be friends. One of my roommates was a guy that, while a lot of fun to hang out with and VERY generous with some excellent bourbon, was a huge pain in the ass to live with. Lots of little things had to be just the way he liked, and apparently I 'walked too quietly' when I was in common areas. I like him better now that we're no longer in the same house. :p

3) Food! If you can't, learn how to cook. You don't want frozen meals and fast food all the time. It's cheaper and better for you to cook for yourself at least a few times a week.

4) Contingency plans. What do you do if your car breaks down? What if something goes wrong with the water? How about the AC or heat? Try and plan that out so it's less of a headache when it happens.

5) Get ready to realize that you forgot something important that you need. Might be a screwdriver, might be a vacuum cleaner...try and set aside money in your budget to get things like that.

6) Upkeep. Cleaning up is always more work than you anticipate. Either divide things up with your roommates or start doing stuff when you see them working. No one likes to be the designated janitor.

That was kinda the intent on my sarcastic rant about moving in with my mom, to show you can have those things, they just can't dominate your life.

If the OP is reading, or will come back and read, listen a lot of good advice in this thread. I think the bit im quoting is definately worth thinking long and hard about.

Attitude is also a large factor. Think about succeeding not failing. In your mind believe there is no fall back, even if there is. Make a goal, meet that goal, then make another. rinse repeat.

Good luck to you sir. Im off to spread the word about the evils of drinking while driving to a "captive" audience in prep for a long weekend.

 Spinner wrote:
Whole lotta judgement going on in this thread, especially considering he's asking for advice, he's already working on heading out on his own.

Cool your jets, we're only being as serious as the initial post. It's pretty lacklustre.
"Should I change jobs?"
"Is this smart enough for a wedding?"
"What should I take out of the fridge and cook for tea tonight?"
These are all useless questions without some more information.

 redleger wrote:


That was kinda the intent on my sarcastic rant about moving in with my mom, to show you can have those things, they just can't dominate your life.

I figured, yeah! By the time I got that written up a lot of other people with faster typing fingers had beaten me to the punch on the, uh...

...hang on, I had something for this, had to do with the word 'beat'...

Echoing the good-luck sentiments and one last personal interjection - I moved out at twenty-three and I'm managing a fairly decent semi-adult life on my own now, so there's proof it's not impossible!

 Alex Kolodotschko wrote:

 Spinner wrote:
Whole lotta judgement going on in this thread, especially considering he's asking for advice, he's already working on heading out on his own.

Cool your jets, we're only being as serious as the initial post. It's pretty lacklustre.
"Should I change jobs"
"Is this smart enough for a wedding"
"What should I take out of the fridge and cook for tea tonight"
These are all useless questions without some more information.

Well, I mean, it's not a hugely informative first post, but there's a difference between asking for more info or making jokes about lonely mothers and 'ugh, you're going to live with your parents until they die'.

You can also give general advice and share past experiences as a form of advice. This works better than trying to belittle or shame somebody who is about to make a large step in their life.

Sure but we're only doing more damage by spoonfeeding the OP.
I'm pretty sure that the profile is as old as the account. Really the OP should give us a chance or you'll get people like me dredging it up and jumping to conclusions.

Billy Joel has some thoughts on the subject:

 Ahtman wrote:
Billy Joel has some thoughts on the subject:

ahh the classics. So much sarcasm and loathing. Its like sitting in the barracks talking with the Joes.

Figure out if moving is financially viable first- if it isn't, stay where you are until you can start making more money.

I'm 24, and I remember anxiously wanting to move out of my Mom's house when I was 20- not because it's hard to live with her but because it was embarrassing to still be at home with mom while my friends were away at college or even living in their own places!

It was only after looking around for almost a year that I realized the only thing moving out would improve is my pride. Financially my cost of living was going to skyrocket, and I wouldn't have much more freedom when renting a room or having a roommate then I would living with Mom. Ultimately I stayed home and have been living with the fam ever since. It's only now that I've recently gotten a very good job that I'm eyeing other places to live at again.

Living with the folks is kind of embarrassing because out-of-touch 'boomers and Gen X'ers who think it's still 1979 have it in their heads that anyone can get a good job straight out of high school and thus you shouldn't be living with parents after you're 18. But in reality, staying with your folks is a great resource if you aren't on your feet yet financially. Save money, get a degree. You have your whole life to sell your soul to strangers via rent/mortgages.

My advice would be to make sure you have a stockpile of canned food and dry food such as pasta or rice, you will be able to survive for ages.

me I moved out when I was 17 and moved right into the military, after the military went from place to place renting and let me say renting around certain places varies greatly in cost, as it goes saved money and me and my wife bought a house when the market crashed and ended up spending less on mortgage and bills then rent was.

Asterios wrote:
me I moved out when I was 17 and moved right into the military, after the military went from place to place renting and let me say renting around certain places varies greatly in cost, as it goes saved money and me and my wife bought a house when the market crashed and ended up spending less on mortgage and bills then rent was.

Don't you live in a crime-ridden gak hole with non-existent job prospects? I don't think your life story helps Cheesecat very much, except perhaps as a cautionary tale.

 feeder wrote:

Asterios wrote:
me I moved out when I was 17 and moved right into the military, after the military went from place to place renting and let me say renting around certain places varies greatly in cost, as it goes saved money and me and my wife bought a house when the market crashed and ended up spending less on mortgage and bills then rent was.

Don't you live in a crime-ridden gak hole with non-existent job prospects? I don't think your life story helps Cheesecat very much, except perhaps as a cautionary tale.

town is bad, neighborhood is ok, but pretty much all of the US is going downhill, all it takes is time. went thru my old neighborhood the other day, was once a very family friendly neighborhood where kids used to walk to school and go trick-or-treating by themselves it was a high middle class neighborhood, now it has houses with bars on the windows and doors and looks run down.

Go on craiglist and find the cheapest room that doesn't look like it will give you disease in a neighborhood where you don't think you'll get shot.

Change your sheets at least twice a month.
Change your underwear every day.

Make sure to not spend so much money on things that aren't rent, utilities and food that you can't pay for rent utilities or food. Don't get fired from your job.

There. All done. You can learn the rest as you go.

For starters go someplace that doesn't want a year lease. That way you can get out if it sucks or you find a better job in another area. Learn to travel light. I didn't buy a good couch until I was in my thirties. Everything I owned I was capable of moving myself. Don't buy a lot of books. Moving books sucks. Learn to fix things on your own. It saves lots of cash you can then spend on stupid things you don't really need, like armies of plastic figures.

 redleger wrote:
Wait, I like sex, porn, and spanking the monkey as well as video games and women. Holy shizzle time to move back in with mommy. I gotta call the wife and let her know immediately lol.

I think its more the fact that that list exists on dakka than the fact that he enjoys them.

I love many of those things but I dont advertise it loudly on my profile.

To the OP, what kind of exit is this? Are you on good terms and have time to plan, or bad terms and need to leave quickly?

If on good terms, for the love of God and the flying spaghetti monster, plan your move in as excruciating detail as possible. Know where you will work, where you will get groceries, know the neighborhood, know your utilities, know where the gaming stores are located, know where traffic is, know where the nearest junk food is so you can be near/far away depending on how well you resist it, where the nearest bar is, etc. You should know what youre going to do before you've even touched the first moving box because let me tell you, packing up and deciding you'll figure it out later is not fun. Seriously, flying by the seat of your pants means a lot of couch surfing and living out of your car, neither are fun. Unless you own a serious RV or "mini home", you will need to have an apartment set up and they are NOT cheap.

Odds are you will need roomates, and get ready for all the hell that includes. Seriously, even if you room with friends, assume ahead of time they are slobs, thieves, and lying. I have yet to have a roomate under 25 that wasnt one or worse, all 3. People will steal food from your fridge, leave dishes to pile up in the sink, leave the bathroom a mess and claim it was like that when they got home, have sex on your bed while youre gone, break your laptop during a drunken adventure, get your room searched for drugs by cops/security, get drunk and party the one friggin night you wanted to get some sleep on, the list goes on and on. All those are things that happened to me personally in the last 2 years. If you do go the roomate route, make sure you have a private space or room and that it has a quality lock. Sharing a room with someone is annoying as all get out, especially if your roomate is "college kid" age.

To give you an idea of how much I hated having roomates, I bought an RV and am living on an RV lot to go to college. Whats even more crazy is I can live there cheaper than sharing an apartment when you factor in utilities and other factors. Only reason I can do this though is through a ton of preplanning and preparation. This would not be possible if I had decided one day to just do it at the drop of a hat.


Now, if this exit is less than favorable, for example you are not on good terms with your parents, the options get very limited. You can do Americorps like I did for example. Think peace corps, but you stay in the USA and get college money for it and job experience. It looks great on a resume, builds character, and gives you a stable enviornment to learn how to live on your own. Theres a lot of options too, from conservation and FEMA related work, to education, inner city development, and habitat for humanity. Realise this is a temporary solution though, meant to give you 3-9 months to think about your life, see the country, and help people. I highly recommend it and honestly wished it was part of highschool that every kid had an oppurtunity to do.

You can also join the military, but unless you have a good plan about WHY you are joining the army, all you'll get is a bad back and potentially get shot at. My dad for example did it to get college money and escape his terrible parent's house (his dad told him college was the stupidest thing he'd ever do for example) without the military he never would've escaped western Kentucky to get a college education, a good job, and live a quality life. One of my friends at copper mountain on the other hand joined the air firce as a thing to do and worked on planes. He didnt really plan what he was going in for, and had nothing to show for it. He ended up sore and with what I'm almost certain was some sort of PTSD, although he never really talked about it. However of youre smart and planned out why you were going into the military and had the drive to do it, you could make it work.

This leads into the third option. Many seasonal jobs offer housing and accomadations. These aren't perfect, but theyre a guaranteed home as long as youre not a drug addict or lazy screw up. Ski resorts, national parks, summer camps, tour guide services, and many other tourism or outdoorsy type jobs offer this. Realise though that you will need to travel light and be ready to move around a lot too. If you find cool jobs that are rewarding it can be awesome, but boy if you get a crappy job it'll hurt.

A big downside to all these options though is that you will never have a permanent place. You will live from job to job or posting to posting out of what you can fit into your suitcase/car. Its great to cull the items you dont need to be happy, but as wargamers this can be difficult since armies tend to take up space. Also realise that with Americorps and seasonal jobs, wargamers will be few and far between. You will consider yourself lucky to get a game every couple months and maybe get to paint once a month due to limited space and time. I went 6 months without a game on copper mountain for example and almost went crazy if that gives you an idea.


Either way, plan it out as best you can, set up a cushion of money, and be ready for something to go wrong. Your alternator never blows up after you got a bonus, that little POS will wait until you spent your last bit of cash on a new set of boots. You'll get a ticket the one time youre running late for work. You'll get sick the one time you cant afford to miss a minute of overtime. Etc. etx. etc. Seriously, life outside of your parents house is rough.

If you and your parents are on good terms, do not be shy about living with them. HOWEVER, you better have a good job, have all your expenses taken care of, stay clean, and not be dragging girls home at late hours. You also should be ready to move out the moment is comfortableish to do so. Its one thing to live with your parents because you just got out of college and living in San Francisco is too hellishy expensive to do otherwise while you save money to move elsewhere. Its entirely different if youre 25, have no degree, and are working part time at the local DQ just because youre a lazy NEET

Whirlwind wrote:

 Cheesecat wrote:
I want to move out of my parent's place, any advice would be appreciated.

A bit more information would be useful, how old, do you have a job, do you want to buy or rent etc. etc.

For more context I'm 23, work as dealer at a casino (about 17/hr including tips), have about 14 grand saved up, I make about $2400 a month (according to the 30% rule affordable rent would be about $800 which is doable in Kamloops), I don't really have much appliances, furniture or

utensils, tools (so lots of shopping there), and I'm not interested in roommates. For more specific questions what basic things should I be looking for/or buying (toasters/dishwashers, etc)? Is there an easy way to change all my services that I use addresses (like an app that reminds you or

something) or do I just need to remember?


Automatically Appended Next Post:
I know how to cook and am fairly good about cleaning and laundry.

Id probably figure out a budget first before you go all in on things like utensils.

you dont really need a full sterling silver set and fine china,

If you are really in a crunch i would suggest things like Craigslist for furniture and glass ware, with the caveat of making sure you absolutely check for bedbugs mold, stains and things like that.

you would be surprised how much free stuff people give away. though you might be putting in some hard labor and elbow grease.

but a big question would be, how often do you cook?

its a lot more affordable to cook for your self than eating out every other meal.

 Desubot wrote:
Id probably figure out a budget first before you go all in on things like utensils.

you dont really need a full sterling silver set and fine china,

If you are really in a crunch i would suggest things like Craigslist for furniture and glass ware, with the caveat of making sure you absolutely check for bedbugs mold, stains and things like that.

you would be surprised how much free stuff people give away. though you might be putting in some hard labor and elbow grease.

but a big question would be, how often do you cook and do you intend on bringing people over?

Well at home with my parents I make about half of the meals (with the rest being takeouts or parents meals). Most of the stuff make is fairly basic like sandwiches and frozen pierogi, but every now and then I'll do something more elaborate like chicken cordon bleu from scratch.

 Cheesecat wrote:
For more context I'm 23, work as dealer at a casino (about 17/hr including tips), have about 14 grand saved up

Can I be your friend?

 Cheesecat wrote:

Whirlwind wrote:

 Cheesecat wrote:
I want to move out of my parent's place, any advice would be appreciated.

A bit more information would be useful, how old, do you have a job, do you want to buy or rent etc. etc.

For more context I'm 23, work as dealer at a casino (about 17/hr including tips), have about 14 grand saved up, I make about $2400 a month (according to the 30% rule affordable rent would be about $800 which is doable in Kamloops), I don't really have much appliances, furniture or

utensils, tools (so lots of shopping there), and I'm not interested in roommates. For more specific questions what basic things should I be looking for/or buying (toasters/dishwashers, etc)? Is there an easy way to change all my services that I use addresses (like an app that reminds you or

something) or do I just need to remember?


Automatically Appended Next Post:
I know how to cook and am fairly good about cleaning and laundry.

I don't know how expensive living is where you are, but that's a lot better than how I started out. When I got out of school I rented a cheap room at a friend's house until I had a couple grand saved up. If you've got the discipline to save up that much money you should be okay.

Do a little research on the Internet compare unfinished and finished apartments in your area. Best place I ever rented was on a farm had an absolute blast. Was able to ride horses, had access to 1000's of acres of land, hunt, feeding the animals, farmer had a slaughterhouse on the farm, free vegetables from the farmer, drinking with the illegal Mexican workers, catch the Amish having sex in the barns, livestock auctions every Friday night, there was always something going on.

 Cheesecat wrote:

 Desubot wrote:
Id probably figure out a budget first before you go all in on things like utensils.

you dont really need a full sterling silver set and fine china,

If you are really in a crunch i would suggest things like Craigslist for furniture and glass ware, with the caveat of making sure you absolutely check for bedbugs mold, stains and things like that.

you would be surprised how much free stuff people give away. though you might be putting in some hard labor and elbow grease.

but a big question would be, how often do you cook and do you intend on bringing people over?

Well at home with my parents I make about half of the meals (with the rest being takeouts or parents meals). Most of the stuff make is fairly basic like sandwiches and frozen pierogi, but every now and then I'll do something more elaborate like chicken cordon bleu from scratch.

You, Sir, will be ok. Your ability to save already shows a discipline level above most young adults moving out on their own. As far as all that other stuff, Craigs list furniture. I mean it. Knew a dude had to start over after a divorce, he had nothing. furnished his gak hole apartment for about 500, that includes couches, bed, chairs table, everything. If not interested in a roommate a one bedroon apartment is your best bet, and laundry services will be on site in most apartments, save your quarters or whatever you use in Canadia.

I furnished my first apartment out of the basements of my extended family. Rented a u-haul and did the rounds. This was helped by the fact that my uncle and his second wife had just consolidated households. But a sofa here, a table there, some old dishes, etc.

Yard sales are your friend for filling up your space. You will start your life with a mish-mash of old junk, and slowly add quality furniture over time.

Roommates might be a pain, but they make things affordable. I only had to deal with them for one summer, but it was bad. After that I was able to afford my own apartment (tiny though it was) and kept that until I moved into my house with The Wife.

First, make sure that you have consulted your local Collective Overlord to make sure your hive departure is approved. Contravening the Collective may result in designation as approved consumable as well as termination of the remainder of your brood as defective. If you have already been designated as non-larval, you should have received notice that you must vacate the spawning site immediately or face reclamation. Assuming designation for expansion, you should secure suitable proteins in advance. Likewise, a safe dry place is recommended before embarking on a transition, as you will be vulnerable to predators during this period.

If you are unable to secure adequate hive structure on your own, you may need to form a temporary brood. Beware that such broods may result in non contributing members (generally defective hive strains) or, worse, hyper aggressive tendencies resulting in un-approved consumption of brood mates. As such, solitary lairs are preferred until such time as a suitable mate can be acquired.

Initially, you may be able to accomplish multiple goals simultaneously. The hollowed out remains of a large protein source can make an adequate temporary lair, especially reinforced with solidified secretions. However, such lairs tend to not withstand environmental threats indefinitely, and may draw opportunistic predators and scavengers (particularly corrosive mold beasts). Therefore, it is recommended that more permanent lairs be located in durable structures. If no suitable structure can be occupied, your are recommended to construct one. Acidic secretions can slowly etch adequate cels in everything from the basalt cliffsides of the Moaning Lands to the iridescent thornwoods of the Razorfells.

Most of this should be instinctual. If you are having trouble distinguishing hive directives, you should immediately report for reprocessing.

Jmurph gets it.