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 jmurph wrote:
... and, as a younger man, I would definitely clear out the stuff if I expected a date to be coming back to my place, just as I would any video game junk.

I've never understood this need for people to conceal their interests. If you're getting to know someone, better to present yourself as who you are.


I suspect that a lot of the supposed 'social stigma' is a regional thing. I've encountered the occasional person over the years who thought it was a bit peculiar, but certainly never anything that would suggest that I should hide my hobby away from the world. Most people either don't get the attraction but don't really care, or think it's impressive to be able to paint stuff.

From my experience, most of the 'social stigma' attached to gaming is simply an idea stuck in the heads of gamers, rather than an actual thing.

 insaniak wrote:


I suspect that a lot of the supposed 'social stigma' is a regional thing.

That could be true. Did Australia have the lunacy over D&D (and RPGs in general) that the US did in the 70's/80's?

I think a lot of the negative associations with the hobby still trace their roots back to that hysteria, at least here in the US.

In the 90's and early 2000's I'd still get the occasional "that stuff is Satanic!" response from people who found out I was into RPGs and miniature games.

That response is much rarer for me now, but I also don't intentionally associate with people who would view games in that sort of light.

 DarkTraveler777 wrote:

 insaniak wrote:


I suspect that a lot of the supposed 'social stigma' is a regional thing.

That could be true. Did Australia have the lunacy over D&D (and RPGs in general) that the US did in the 70's/80's?

Somewhat, but not to the same extent, I think. For the most part, people here just didn't care if D&D was satanic or not. Aside from the occasional nutjob Prime Minister, we don't get the same extremes with religion that the US seems to.

 DarkTraveler777 wrote:

 insaniak wrote:


I suspect that a lot of the supposed 'social stigma' is a regional thing.

That could be true. Did Australia have the lunacy over D&D (and RPGs in general) that the US did in the 70's/80's?

I think a lot of the negative associations with the hobby still trace their roots back to that hysteria, at least here in the US.

In the 90's and early 2000's I'd still get the occasional "that stuff is Satanic!" response from people who found out I was into RPGs and miniature games.

That response is much rarer for me now, but I also don't intentionally associate with people who would view games in that sort of light.

Yeah, I think the turning point where fantasy and gaming stopped being seen as a bad thing was very much due to the success of the Lord of the Rings movies, the Harry Potter books, and World of Warcraft. These three things all helped to make fantasy and gaming "cool" rather than just being the realm of nerds and geeks.

That's why I feel my own generation (I'm 40) is right on that borderline. Half still see it as just being a thing for geeks and nerds, the other half have embraced it.

Well, it's also that when you are trying to be more romantic, you want to set the stage. So a nice clean pad without visible toys is generally going to be better. Keep in mind, it matters a lot what the relationship and goal is. As I said, it was in my younger, pre-married days, and the goal for both parties wasn't necessarily a long term relationship where we discuss personal interests.

Only social stigma I've encountered was off of a Tory stalker who tried to weaponise my LiveJournal posts of some minis, if that sounds weird then you're pretty much in agreement with everyone who was present

 DarkTraveler777 wrote:

 insaniak wrote:


I suspect that a lot of the supposed 'social stigma' is a regional thing.

That could be true. Did Australia have the lunacy over D&D (and RPGs in general) that the US did in the 70's/80's?

I think a lot of the negative associations with the hobby still trace their roots back to that hysteria, at least here in the US.

In the 90's and early 2000's I'd still get the occasional "that stuff is Satanic!" response from people who found out I was into RPGs and miniature games.

That response is much rarer for me now, but I also don't intentionally associate with people who would view games in that sort of light.

That's just grumpy old people looking for ways to demonize something that young people are enjoying that is unfamiliar and different to them. I mean, Rock 'n' Roll was called "devil's music" back in the day, and Elvis was seen as Satanic because of his signature hip-shake move on stage (which he actually got from a Gospel band from back in the day, can't remember the group name though...). And Gary Gygax had the Judeo-Christian God as the top of the early D&D pantheon back in the day, and was upset that so many viewed his fun game as "devil-worship" because that wasn't the case at all. Just because the cover of the book has a big red demon-looking thing on it, doesn't mean it is "satanic".

Grumpy old people will always criticize what the young people are enjoying. It's just a negative extension of "get off my lawn!" that we are familiar with already.

Me? I have never got any grief for my gaming habits, as far as I know. I do wonder sometimes that if, back when I was looking for a job, that some of my hobby-related social media pictures, groups, comments, and friends have affected some potential employers, but I don't have anything concrete. Nowadays, I just enjoy what hobby time I have anymore, and don't care about what other people think about me (aside from my wife, parents, and kids, their opinions matter to me ). Really, the only grief I get about wargaming is the finances and time invovled (and that's usually from myself!). Oh, and my mom was kind of saddened when I said I was selling off old models that I never used or took out of the box, and didn't have the money for the new Edition of the game. Other than that? Nothing. My wife was big into WoW and the LotR movies, so was already kinda nerdy (only since high school, because her parents don't believe in fun) and I never hid anything from her, and she hides nothing from me. And my parents were big into Star Trek, Star Wars, Twilight Zone, and many of the campy, goofy sci-fi movies and TV shows from the 1960s and up, so they were really my influence on becoming nerdy in any capacity. For example, I learned about the Star Wars Expanded Universe before many classic nursery rhymes (thanks, Mom!).

I guess it may be hereditary for some folks

 jmurph wrote:
What industries would it be a stigma in?

Fashion

 DarkTraveler777 wrote:

 insaniak wrote:


I suspect that a lot of the supposed 'social stigma' is a regional thing.

That could be true. Did Australia have the lunacy over D&D (and RPGs in general) that the US did in the 70's/80's?

I think a lot of the negative associations with the hobby still trace their roots back to that hysteria, at least here in the US.

In the 90's and early 2000's I'd still get the occasional "that stuff is Satanic!" response from people who found out I was into RPGs and miniature games.

That response is much rarer for me now, but I also don't intentionally associate with people who would view games in that sort of light.

If you think the 90's was bad you should of seen what people thought of us DnD players back in the early 80's...between dnd and playing Ozzie records backwards we where blamed for all the worlds problems

instead of Thanks Obama, it was Thanks Gygax

I don't want to hear about somebody's my little pony collection.
Most people probably feel the same thing about my miniature collection. You talk to people about your common interest mainly. Not that I hide it when somebody asks. (Just a bit if its a girl)

I never saw the point of hiding it from a girl myself. You can't spend all your shared time with her in bed, which means you need something in common so you enjoy the time with her out of bed as well.

Unless you're really into one-night-stands, I suppose. Then who needs to talk at all, just get hammered together and let it happen. (And hope there's no lasting repercussions...)

I live in a rural part of the US, so I don't talk too much about it.

Things outside of the "norm" here are never viewed in a postive way. The Norm for men includes talking about home repair, auto repair, shooting guns, fishing, driving a pick-up, drinking beer, going to church, and loving sports.

If it isn't on that list, it is frowned upon publicly.

 Easy E wrote:
I live in a rural part of the US, so I don't talk too much about it.

Things outside of the "norm" here are never viewed in a postive way. The Norm for men includes talking about home repair, auto repair, shooting guns, fishing, driving a pick-up, drinking beer, going to church, and loving sports.

If it isn't on that list, it is frowned upon publicly.

It isn't just rural America where this view crops up.

One of my most closeted gaming buddies lives in San Diego (not a rural setting by any means) and his wife has actually told him she'd prefer he'd be out gambling than pushing toy soldiers around a table. Because a poker night or something would be more "normal" way a for 35-year old to spend his time than playing 40k.

She is dumb.

 Easy E wrote:
I live in a rural part of the US, so I don't talk too much about it.

Things outside of the "norm" here are never viewed in a postive way. The Norm for men includes talking about home repair, auto repair, shooting guns, fishing, driving a pick-up, drinking beer, going to church, and loving sports.

If it isn't on that list, it is frowned upon publicly.

Lol, I'm in the Midwest as well, in a traditionally rural part of Missouri, and I just about convinced the pastor and other leaders at my church to try Warhammer and D&D. They make enough references to Star Wars, Star Trek, and old-school Nintendo, so they lean kind of nerdy anyways, but still. The only thing keeping some of them out of it is the time and money to start up.

 DarkTraveler777 wrote:
It isn't just rural America where this view crops up.

One of my most closeted gaming buddies lives in San Diego (not a rural setting by any means) and his wife has actually told him she'd prefer he'd be out gambling than pushing toy soldiers around a table. Because a poker night or something would be more "normal" way a for 35-year old to spend his time than playing 40k.

She is dumb.

We go our whole lives being told "be unique" and "follow your heart!". But then once you reach the real world, it's all about conformity and amalgamating into society and not being ostracized or criticized in any way.

Monty Python nailed it a while back:
"Yes, we are all individuals!" - large crowd of people.
"I'm not!" - individual guy.

Our "hobby" is actually a great number of different, overlapping hobbies. Some people don't enjoy the "full experience" and only are interested in parts - the story, the painting, the collecting bit, and not also the gaming, which is the only actual bit that *requires* interaction with others, and even then only if you aren't into solo gaming.

A lot of folks, me included, are quite introverted, and find that we don't actually want to share our "me time" with other people very much because we can't be bothered.

I do actually game most weeks, but it is with people I know (a couple of friends, my son) and whose company I enjoy. I go to a club once a fortnight, but it has taken a long time to actually come around to fully enjoying the experience, and even so, I can't be bothered going if it has been a busy week or whatever.

So, I would say, I'm not in the closet - I don't hide what I do from anyone (heck, I have a display cabinet of miniatures in my office at work! Some folks like them, some ignore them and some are just confused by the whole thing! :-)) but I don't really need other people's company to fully enjoy myself in the hobby of wargaming. And I find that is a trend in my left that is becoming stronger as I get older. My introversion is a personality trait in my life that is getting more pronounced. Largely because I am quite comfortable with my own company, because as I get older I find I get tired and more intolerant of other people because many other people are just irritating, boring gakkers who I can't be bothered wasting my diminishing reservoir of time on! :-D

I do find focussing on upcoming gaming sessions does help me get on with stuff and give my hobby direction and purpose, but it wouldn't bother me if those games were several weeks, or even months apart. If they didn't exist at all, I'd probably stop altogether though as I couldn't really justify the time, money and effort to be spent accumulating more painted models, terrain and armies that would just sit in boxes in my loft.

Interesting aside: I was sitting reading a black library novel on the train one day when the buffet trolley went by. I ordered a tea, and the guy handed it to me with a comment "For the Emperor!" I suspect there are more of us about than we may realise! :-)

 AesSedai wrote:
Some hobbyists are justy concerned with concealing their interests. Your hobbies have an undeniable impact on your social success. I have seen a lot of denial about this in the community. It is socially practical to avoid broadcasting your hobby to the general public.

1) Gaming may be social, but from my own experience, 98% of my hobby is painting/modelling, not playing, and as such, it is mostly a solitary thing.

2) The hobby seems to attact a more than average number of people with poor interpersonal skills, bad social habits/behaviors. It's generally not desirable to associate with such people.

3) The hobby doesn't have any real social cachet like martial arts, hockey, or dancing for example. It does come with baggage, however.

4) The whole exaggerated stereotype of the comic store neck beard, overweight, unkempt, basement dwelling. Most of my gaming friends have been clean young professionals, but thats stereotypes for you.

5) The intensity of your interest can definitely color other people's perception of you/you hobby. For example:

-Spending a huge amount of time on your interest (how many hours did the take you?!?!)
-Spending what seems like an unreasonable amount of money on your interest. (wow, you spend that much?!?!)
-Knowing waaaaay too much about your interest, especially about small details. (Actually it happened before the conclave of Nikaea...)
-Putting aside more important or essential activities to pursue your interest.
-Accomplishing goals that seem pointless for most people. (Yay, i got my 2k list fully painted!)

6) Not living in the real world because of your hobby

40k/AoS are elaborate fictional universes. For some people their mental space can become devoted to the comings and goings of these imaginary worlds. They fall a beat behind how most people act and come across as a little off.

This year is the 20th anniversery of me being in the hobby. The idea of including that i paint miniatures at say, a self introduction at a new job or to a woman Im flirting with makes me cringe.

This post is perfect, i started last november and enjoy all facets of the hobby, im 26, a professional, not overweight (slightly squishy- just had a child so cant go to the gym) and have other hobbies (mountainbiking, Hockey, gym).

Disclosing this hobby to other people is not something i would do. Im not embarrassed and i don't care what they think.
The reality is i have to be conscious of the image i present to people, im not faking anything, just choosing what i present to people and what i dont.

For what it's worth and you can take it however you want. But there's a disproportionate amount of people who play 40k in my career field. I think we certainly buck the stereotypical idea of a 40k gamer. I'm a Blackhawk Pilot and I find that a lot of my superiors also play 40k. I've met a few Apache pilots who play as well. I don't think people would associate the two together. I'd certainly say we are mostly type-a extroverted people. So don't think there is a certain profile of a person who plays 40k, you'd be surprised.

Process wrote:
Disclosing this hobby to other people is not something i would do. Im not embarrassed and i don't care what they think.
The reality is i have to be conscious of the image i present to people, im not faking anything, just choosing what i present to people and what i dont.

Curious if you would mind elaborating a bit.

Do you have the same reticence to disclose your other hobbies to people (hockey, mountain biking, etc.) or is it just this hobby?

 DarkTraveler777 wrote:

Process wrote:
Disclosing this hobby to other people is not something i would do. Im not embarrassed and i don't care what they think.
The reality is i have to be conscious of the image i present to people, im not faking anything, just choosing what i present to people and what i dont.

Curious if you would mind elaborating a bit.

Do you have the same reticence to disclose your other hobbies to people (hockey, mountain biking, etc.) or is it just this hobby?

Sure, i think any hobby or interest comes with its own set of connotations and stereotypes. People seem to build a mental image of someones personality with these connotations and stereotypes which is often incorrect. As i said, i don't care what these people think of me, but i don't want to be pigeon hole'd because of their misconceptions.

Here's an example; I intermittently fast (eat 8 hours a day, fast for 16). I researched this diet and its benefits with regards to training, weight gain, fat loss etc and it is scientifically accepted to be one of the most healthy diets to adhere to and in many cases allows you to consume more calories than a "normal" diet (i love donuts). However, tell the wrong guy you don't eat breakfast and you're that weirdo who is starving himself, next thing- you have an eating disorder.

Simply put, people are too stupid to be trusted with information about your hobbies and interests without forming their own half baked generalization about you.

Obviously this is just my opinion

 DarkTraveler777 wrote:

Process wrote:
Disclosing this hobby to other people is not something i would do. Im not embarrassed and i don't care what they think.
The reality is i have to be conscious of the image i present to people, im not faking anything, just choosing what i present to people and what i dont.

Curious if you would mind elaborating a bit.

Do you have the same reticence to disclose your other hobbies to people (hockey, mountain biking, etc.) or is it just this hobby?

Almost certainly not. Hockey and mountain biking are physical activities and generally have positive associations (IE this person is physically competent, adventurous, etc.). Niche hobbies like wargaming, the concern is that they tend to be associated with immature, antisocial, and/or obsessive behavior. Of course the poster's statement that he doesn't care what people think is directly contradicted by the following statement that he has to be conscious of his image. Which demonstrates a common situation that humans often find themselves- projecting confidence or other traits they regard as desirable, even if they are false, due to perceived social expectations (and the accompanying defensiveness/justification). Ironically, posters like Point_Taken show greater self confidence by being open with their activities (but also have a social group that is supportive of the activity).

Not a knock on Process in any way; as I expressed, I would previously put away hobby and toy stuff over concerns over the impact it may have. But I also make no bones about the fact that I was concerned about initial impression!

 jmurph wrote:

 DarkTraveler777 wrote:

Process wrote:
Disclosing this hobby to other people is not something i would do. Im not embarrassed and i don't care what they think.
The reality is i have to be conscious of the image i present to people, im not faking anything, just choosing what i present to people and what i dont.

Curious if you would mind elaborating a bit.

Do you have the same reticence to disclose your other hobbies to people (hockey, mountain biking, etc.) or is it just this hobby?

Almost certainly not. Hockey and mountain biking are physical activities and generally have positive associations (IE this person is physically competent, adventurous, etc.). Niche hobbies like wargaming, the concern is that they tend to be associated with immature, antisocial, and/or obsessive behavior. Of course the poster's statement that he doesn't care what people think is directly contradicted by the following statement that he has to be conscious of his image. Which demonstrates a common situation that humans often find themselves- projecting confidence or other traits they regard as desirable, even if they are false, due to perceived social expectations (and the accompanying defensiveness/justification). Ironically, posters like Point_Taken show greater self confidence by being open with their activities (but also have a social group that is supportive of the activity).

Not a knock on Process in any way; as I expressed, I would previously put away hobby and toy stuff over concerns over the impact it may have. But I also make no bones about the fact that I was concerned about initial impression!

Maybe i could elaborate; I dont care what these people think of me personally (i dont worry if person A thinks im a nerd), but i accept the reality that their opinion and perception of me carries a risk of "closing doors" professionally or even socially in some cases.

ohh, and i take care with disclosing about physical hobbies aswell; the dumb jock connotations can be just as bad as weak nerd

 Smacks wrote:
The biggest problem for me is not the the stigma associated with "nerds", it's the reality of associating with nerds. Let me give you an example...

A couple of years ago, my girlfriend and I decided to start playing MtG. She absolutely loved the game, and we ended up playing it all the time at home. After a few months, we looked up where our local "official" MtG hangout was, and went to check it out on launch day... Oh my god! The smell of BO was horrendous, it was thick and humid, like walking into someone's old jockstrap. My girlfriend actually said, she thought she was gonna puke. The whole place was just full of young guys screaming at each other (no other girls), and I definitely spotted at least one "honest to goodness" 300lbs neckbeard, scoffing down Doritos with dusty orange fingers.

Needless to say: we didn't "hang out" there. I've stopped by a few times since, just to buy cards (still smells of BO), but my gf flat-out refuses to go anywhere near the place, and I think it might have soured her experience of MtG in general.

I'm not saying that I'm "Mr Cool" (I'm literally wearing Star Wars underpants today), but even I have to draw the line somewhere. I love the games, and I love the miniatures, but sometimes I just really can't abide all the smelly nerds that come along with it. Why can't people wash? And maybe learn to speak without spitting?

I mostly just play at home nowadays, or with people I know. I'm certainly not shy about my hobbies, or people calling me a nerd, but there are plenty of groups where I wouldn't be caught dead, because it's the other people that are embarrassing.

This kind of thing always makes me giggle.

Gather lots of people, particularly teenagers(who are actually biologically incapable of recognising the extent of BO, look it up) in a confined space and you get a variety of "interesting" smells. I mean seriously, has nobody who runs fleeing from an over-ripe gaming scenario never been clubbing? When I actually bothered to pretend to enjoy social stuff I walked into clubs where it was like immersing yourself in jelly - BO drowned in sweet perfume and horrifying bodyspray, puke, alcohol fumes, periodic blasts of bleach, amonia, and gak whenever the toilet door swung open. Sports bars. Gyms. Public transport on a hot day. "Normies" subject themselves to situations filled with awful stinks all the time but "smelly nerds" is a bridge too far evidently.

The same holds true for the social awkwardness thing - the percentage is higher than normal in "nerdy" hobbies for sure(probably because traditionally it was the only place people who were socially awkward could socialise without immediately being bullied or shunned by normies who'll break down in tears at the sight of a puppy in an animal welfare ad but can't stomach the idea of putting in a few extra percent of effort to interact with another human being who doesn't quite grasp some social cues), but any group is going to have people you dislike in it and will have more people you dislike as the group gets bigger. When you go down to a pub for a few relaxed drinks and some rowdy arseholes have had a few too many and start cheering and singing etc, do you thereafter and forevermore swear off visiting all pubs? There's a significantly non-zero chance similar things will happen again in future afterall. Or do you just ignore it and get on with your night and then probably never think about it again?

Frankly I think a lot of the time the issue is less embarrasment and more snobbery & double standards.

EDIT: Oh and as to hiding the hobby out of fear of being shunned or having "doors closed" - in my experience any people worth knowing will think much less of you for hiding something that's important to you out of fear of what others will think than they will for having hobbies that are considered a bit odd by normie standards.

Process wrote:

 jmurph wrote:

 DarkTraveler777 wrote:

Process wrote:
Disclosing this hobby to other people is not something i would do. Im not embarrassed and i don't care what they think.
The reality is i have to be conscious of the image i present to people, im not faking anything, just choosing what i present to people and what i dont.

Curious if you would mind elaborating a bit.

Do you have the same reticence to disclose your other hobbies to people (hockey, mountain biking, etc.) or is it just this hobby?

Almost certainly not. Hockey and mountain biking are physical activities and generally have positive associations (IE this person is physically competent, adventurous, etc.). Niche hobbies like wargaming, the concern is that they tend to be associated with immature, antisocial, and/or obsessive behavior. Of course the poster's statement that he doesn't care what people think is directly contradicted by the following statement that he has to be conscious of his image. Which demonstrates a common situation that humans often find themselves- projecting confidence or other traits they regard as desirable, even if they are false, due to perceived social expectations (and the accompanying defensiveness/justification). Ironically, posters like Point_Taken show greater self confidence by being open with their activities (but also have a social group that is supportive of the activity).

Not a knock on Process in any way; as I expressed, I would previously put away hobby and toy stuff over concerns over the impact it may have. But I also make no bones about the fact that I was concerned about initial impression!

Maybe i could elaborate; I dont care what these people think of me personally (i dont worry if person A thinks im a nerd), but i accept the reality that their opinion and perception of me carries a risk of "closing doors" professionally or even socially in some cases.

ohh, and i take care with disclosing about physical hobbies aswell; the dumb jock connotations can be just as bad as weak nerd

Thanks for clarifying.

I can understand the concerns of ones hobbies having an adverse effect on professional relationships, but the concern of "closing doors socially" seems like it is exactly what you are claiming it isn't. Not to get all sentimental, but if a person won't be your friend because they think you are a "nerd" or a "dumb jock" then you are forced to obfuscate a part of yourself in order to appeal to them. Seems an odd concession to make in terms of ones social circle which is, in theory, populated by people whom you can be most like your true self.

Unless the social doors being closed are sexual relationships, in which case, I'd still argue that being honest and open is the best course. Don't shine a light on your hobbies necessarily, like say, posing with your latest mini for a Tinder profile picture, but being open and nonchalant about your interests can be seen as having self confidence which is attractive to a lot of people.

I think it is the professional doors that a lot of people are worried about, including myself. In my current job, I am surrounded in a call center by nerds and gamers who are open and honest in their interests in super hero movies, comic books, Star Wars, D&D, or, in the case of my older coworkers, pictures of their grandkids; it's a relaxed and more casual environment. But walking through the building into the areas where the higher-ups and executives are, it is a much different experience, with an almost stifling, professional, old-fashioned, corporate vibe. The company is great to work for, but there is a clear hierarchy and sociological differences at play between the upper and lower tiers of employees.

I am in a point in my life where I will need to start looking for a better job in the next couple years, because I need to support my family (we are basically breaking even, at this point, even with my parents's help, ugh!). I have my Master's Degree, but hardly any work experience because I spent most of my life either working on my academics or spending time with family (which was clearly a silly thing to do, right? ), and was over the course of my recent job hunt called both "over-qualified" and "under-experienced" for the positions I was applying to. Looking now at the jobs available, I could possibly make twice as much a year doing other work elsewhere, but I don't have the "experience" necessary, so I am stuck in my current position for a year or two more to build that up. Anything I can do to improve my marketability to a potential employer is a high priority these days, and not being "nerdy" is one thing I can keep behind the curtain during interviews.

Now, that's not to say I am going to get rid of all my models and books and everything, but I may not talk about it so much until I get my foot in the door. It's to the point now that I am considering creating a separate Facebook profile to count as my "professional" account, while my current one will be for staying in touch with my friends and wargaming/hobby groups. I mean, does posting captioned pictures and memes of Warhammer to various groups in response to silly arguments or other goofy pictures seem like management material to you? I will never not be honest with someone, but I may not answer with all information when asked "what do you do for fun?" at my next interview.

It's actually come up for me in a job interview. TBF, the question was "sample preparation for this job involves tying knots in hair-thick nitenol wires held with tweezers, do you think you'd be able to do that" but I do think my being able to pull up a picture of a 15mm figure I'd painted eyebrows on helped me get the job.

Relationship-wise, in high school I didn't really discuss it with anyone but my "nerd friends." I had three pretty distinct groups I hung out with as I was in the robotics club, on a sports team, and performed in musicals. In college the nerd stuff stuck because it was something I could do sitting at a desk in a tiny dorm room. The only lingering thing was not mentioning it to my girlfriends until I matured a bit more. Now I have a giant bookshelf filled with painted miniatures in our computer room, and I help run a local 40k club so I make posts about it to my facebook. Nobody cares.

If there's one good thing I can say about the saturation of popular culture with nerdy things, it's that a lot of the stigma has gone away for adults. When every superhero movie makes 15 gagillion dollars, Game of Thrones is the most popular TV show there is, and everyone has at least played Halo or Skyrim or something, the biggest thing that confuses people about 40k is that it's both a game and a model painting thing, because lots of people are familiar with either one or the other. It's also got the inherent advantage over other modeling hobbies that people can generally immediately understand the appeal - it's not like model trains or something where the first reaction is always going to be "But...why? Who cares about trains?"

 BunkhouseBuster wrote:
Anything I can do to improve my marketability to a potential employer is a high priority these days, and not being "nerdy" is one thing I can keep behind the curtain during interviews.

Is that even something that would come up? Granted, I haven't interviewed for any of those higher-level positions yet, but hobbies outside of work have never been an interview question. At most it's been casual conversation before the interview while waiting for everyone to arrive, and nobody has ever taken more than a "polite small talk" level of interest in the subject. I can't imagine anyone bothering to ask you or take notes on what your favorite football team is or whatever, that's just not relevant at all in selecting a candidate.

It might come up during a Facebook/social media check. I've been part of companies who have turned down prospective employees largely on social media presence projecting the wrong image.

Having weird spacemen demon toys and memes smack talk that shows up when gamers talk 40k, etc. might be the difference between me and a 'normal' guy getting hired or promoted. Of course, if you have the This Town Football Team and similar smack talk on your FB groups, that's generally okay.

 Osbad wrote:
aside: I was sitting reading a black library novel on the train one day when the buffet trolley went by. I ordered a tea, and the guy handed it to me with a comment "For the Emperor!" I suspect there are more of us about than we may realise! :-)

I hope you told him Horus was right


Automatically Appended Next Post:
RE when professional practice comes up - it's all in how you frame it. Yeah, you could have your new boss find your facebook with 40K memes on it that to a senior manager might be indistinguishable from his grandson's racist Pepes. Or, when they ask about your out of work activities, you could mention that you are a member of a traditional gaming club (perhaps with an elected committee responsibility), participate in painting contests, enter tournaments, do freelance artwork, read science fiction novels...

It's my wife's fault I got back into gaming as an adult after I left the hobby in my teens- on our second date, at a pizza place in Oxford (Fire and Stone, don't know if it's still there) our table looked out onto the street which had a prominent GW- prominent for that street, anyway.
She said "Hey look, a Games Workshop! I used to like those". I said that I had liked it too, when I was younger.
The next month, as a surprise for my birthday, she took me into a GW and let me choose a large model as a gift. Bet she regrets that now!

All of which is a long winded way of saying that I'm fortunate in never having had to explain the whole thing to her as a partner, because for a very long time I kept it completely separate from everything else in my life, even when others at work for instance mentioned similar interests. I only really told my family about it within the last few months, and that was after years of hiding it all when they came round. I guess I just finally grew out of caring what anyone thought.

I've definitely heard comments when I was younger that put me off telling people about it. One was when I was waiting at a bus stop and two girls next to me were gossiping about some friend of theirs "She's got this new boyfriend and he's into Warhammer, which is like the SADDEST thing you could do". On another occasion at work one girl said she'd gone into a GW with a friend of hers at the weekend, and another of my co-workers said something like "I bet they didn't know what to do with themselves in there, they won't have seen girls before"
It's a real shame- but at the time I heard those comments I was in my early twenties, and they resounded with me for a long time. If I heard them now I wouldn't give a damn!