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 Backspacehacker wrote:

Clearly it's not because he keeps doing it.

I hate to say "You should have read it" again, but I do touch on the fact that after I've had to get right in his face about it- he's stopped doing it within earshot of me. He's obviously well aware of how I feel about t.

Better yet since you are an employee tell him to GTFO, if he is driving business away, one customer down is worth it if it means more customers.

No gak story here. I knew a guy that was an awesome guy, would always go into the store and play. One day a TFG came in and set up shop, and did tfg stuff and you know what he did? Drove customers away from the store. One day my friend was in the store again, buying some stuff and the owner asked him yo man why don't I see you here any more? My friend told the manager that honestly it was because of the TFG, the manager then in the middle of the store said, he's the one driving ally customers away!? Pointed him out and yelled at him from across the store to get his gak and GTFO. The TFG left the store, and business picked back up, he came back later on but was no longer a dick.

It's called tough love my man, and some times you gotta do it, especially If business is involved.

 Adeptus Doritos wrote:

 Backspacehacker wrote:

Clearly it's not because he keeps doing it.

I hate to say "You should have read it" again, but I do touch on the fact that after I've had to get right in his face about it- he's stopped doing it within earshot of me. He's obviously well aware of how I feel about t.

And this is exactly why the best approach would be to get other people to tell this to his face too.

There is power in numbers, I'm not saying publicly humiliate the guy, but call him out in front of others.

 Backspacehacker wrote:

 thekingofkings wrote:
no game is worth risking a friend, but then no friend really behaves that way either. you could gum up the works and start playing AoS around him all the time not using points

skyere drill teams at 2k points man. Quickest way to give a TFG a taste of his own medicine is having 30+ auto hitting mortal wounds turn one.

Skaven carry disease, I wont touch them or any other rat. they are gross.

Nuuuuuu rats are adorable and make wonderful pets =^W^=

 Backspacehacker wrote:
Nuuuuuu rats are adorable and make wonderful pets =^W^=

like skaven, they drag their anus around, drop little "pellets of fun" and pee where they please. they chew and infest. and thats just the two legged ones. sooo gross, really nasty, plus...plague monks... just saying

Nuuuuuu they are of the adorable squeekers

 Backspacehacker wrote:
Nuuuuuu they are of the adorable squeekers

your a skaven player arent you......I have some fine bearded gentlemen with flaming axes and fire spitting dragons to introduce you to.

Ew God no, I would not play them, way to much to paint pass.

Damn dude, if he finds this post he'll sure as hell know you're talking about him. The parts of the Story about his girlfriend should be enough for that.

Just tell us what that army is and we can provide you with some royal cheese lists to crush him.

Start a "Primary Army" yourself and let him swallow his own medicine.

Oh man is this now a hate crafted thread?! I think this is now a hate craft thread....

 Backspacehacker wrote:
Better yet since you are an employee tell him to GTFO, if he is driving business away, one customer down is worth it if it means more customers.
....

It's called tough love my man, and some times you gotta do it, especially If business is involved.

I get that. It's definitely not off the table. I do like to believe that people can learn, can figure it out. So far, everyone's offered good advice. I think what it's going to take is several steps...

...maybe like someone else said, have someone talk to him. Or rather, a group of people. Some of the more rational and straightforward ones that won't turn it into a lynch mob.

Then after that, if he persists, bar him from playing 40k in the store (I'd have to get approval from the manager). He'll be allowed to shop, sit and paint and build, or play other games- but no 40k until his attitude improves. Maybe wait a month, then let him play 40k with an employee's blessing (and nearby supervision).

If he keeps it up after that, I think the best approach is a total ban.

If at any point he comes forward and says, "Yeah, I was being a tool. I'm gonna knock it off and be a better dude" then it's over and done with as long as he holds up to it.

I mean that's a good approch but while we are here now, can you post his army for science?

 Backspacehacker wrote:
I mean that's a good approch but while we are here now, can you post his army for science?

No, I'd rather not. It'd probably turn into one of those discussions about how so many people who play that army are scumbags (even though I'm pretty sure there is a 'that guy' for every army).

 Backspacehacker wrote:
I mean that's a good approch but while we are here now, can you post his army for science?

This.

 Adeptus Doritos wrote:

 Backspacehacker wrote:
I mean that's a good approch but while we are here now, can you post his army for science?

No, I'd rather not. It'd probably turn into one of those discussions about how so many people who play that army are scumbags (even though I'm pretty sure there is a 'that guy' for every army).

You just gave it away. Its Eldar

Lemme guess... since he started that army in 7th it's gonna be loaded with jetbikes?

Oh one more thing!

 Adeptus Doritos wrote:
His ‘new player’ was this girl he’d recently started dating- and don’t get me wrong, she’s not a bad person but her investment in the game seems half-hearted at best (she seems to have more fun buying random models and painting them than anything else).

This person really gets what this hobby is about!

Oh man if he is rocking elder, you could just run death gusrd, that would poop in his ceerios.

I'd you want a super meme army, run 4 knights.

 Crimson wrote:
This person really gets what this hobby is about!

I did this for many, many years. Especially when metal minis in blister packs were the thing. I had a shelf that was a mix of random things.

I have to ask,

What is his beloved 'Primary Army'?

AdmiralHalsey wrote:
I have to ask,

What is his beloved 'Primary Army'?

Yea, that'd be a really helpful thing to know. I bet it's eldar tho

Morkphoiz wrote:

Yea, that'd be a really helpful thing to know.

It is completely irrelevant regarding the actual topic.

Read the wall of text, reminds me of playing 2nd ed in high school, and some experiences from my 3rd ed days.

I've definitely just stopped playing with some people, even friends, who were getting "spoiled" around the game. I've also gone another route, which is to beat them at their own game, either they settle down a bit or leave the hobby for a bit themselves.

Usually when people are acting like that, there's something else going on. The attitude comes from some other source of unhappiness, for which the hobby is merely an outlet. I know that story because I've also been "that guy". I had some rough college days, and I was generally in a bad place at that time. Gaming wasn't the source of unhappiness, but my unhappiness came out more in gaming.

Don't lose the focus of the OP's reasons here. If you have given your advice and have nothing new and believe what you said is great...leave it at that.
OP, I went through a similar issue long ago. This may not be the case at all, I am sharing because perhaps it will help. I do not think anything I am saying is really unique or unusual, but a lot of people fail to realize how these things cause behavior.
My situation followed yours closely. A friend who was normally a pleasant person and invited to games changed when one particular game came about. His change also involved finding a "sure fire" win scenario for the game. Using this "sure fire win" strategy suddenly made this friend feel important/superior/ etc. The bottom line was inside he was extremely insecure, although he hid it well (as we all do). On top of that this insecurity coupled/added to feelings he had no control over his life, and was a failure in most things (this was not true, thus again extremely well-hidden from his friends, and stemmed from mental abuse and bullying from his parents for most of his life...nothing he did was good enough for them)
Because this game was popular, and many people played it (many people he was secretly envious of or wished to impress or held grudges against) he suddenly believed being good and dominating at it made him important. The behavior involving his girlfriend fits the pattern. By dominating in front of her, he is proving his worth as a male (we are still neanderthals inside, and macho comes out in a million ways). My friend also did this. It got to the point where the game and his success became the only representation of his worth, and so when the inevitable fall happened it was devastating, and my group lost him as a friend entirely.
Convincing someone their behavior is poor when the real motivation behind it (possibly insecurity and a desperate need to impress or dominate, or simply know he has control over one aspect of his life he can succeed at) is nearly impossible. Denial has caused more problems in the history of humanity than most other causes.
I have no advice for you. If all you have said truly applies to your friend, this friend has gone beyond your ability to modify. Until they themselves recognize the destructive behavior, they are beyond help. All I can say is you need to avoid being damaged by the behavior.


PS: Insectum7 has made a similar and accurate statement above. I also turned into TFG at points, and exactly as he said, it wasn't the game making me unhappy, but my unhappiness came out when I gamed. I still fight this war, sadly. We all carry baggage we have not dealt with or forgiven ourselves for, and it can come out in very unique ways.

 Backspacehacker wrote:
1) please provide a tldr
2) this is not really a general thing as it's a you problem
3) if he is being that guy you do one of 4 things
- tell him he is being a TFG
- play an equally TFG list against him to show him how it feels
-dont play him (best option)
-play the anti fun list which is 2000 points of nothing but nuglings/poxwalkera/ or cultists. Your not going to win, but he is going to need to sit there for an hour + as you take your turn and your gonna loose but he is killing cultists so no real victory(my fav option)

And if you go with option 4, make sure to roll everything one at a time.

If your friend stops acting like a jerk when within ear-shot of you, he at least values your opinion of him. He likely just thinks that you're over-reacting and isn't aware that other people don't like him.

Telling him he acts like 'Bob' is something he may see as sarcastic or exaggerated - possibly purposefully so, as to be funny. Tell him in a less childish way. Enumerate your issues clearly.

I don't think an 'intervention' would be helpful. It would probably humiliate him and would be overboard if you want to keep the friendship. Make him aware that other people dislike his attitude (and probably him personally if this is their main interaction with him). If he thinks you're just being a jerk or your the one who's off-kilter, refer him to someone else for credibility - possibly a shop owner who can confirm that he is indeed considering kicking him out.

If you're uncomfortable around him, imagine how strangers feel. Having someone like that in my local store would encourage me to simply go to another if he's constantly there being a loud-mouthed pain. A game is probably not worth losing a friend over, but it would be unfair to have to give up on a hobby that you enjoy and could enjoy for many years, possibly beyond the lifespan of the friendship, because of him.

Personally - I would encourage the store to boot him if he were my friend and i had a say in the matter - especially if I've honestly spoken to him without hyperbole (eg: 'you're like bob'). Its likely nobody likes him if what you say is accurate and he probably costs the store money in lost patrons. If he ignores the "you're out if you keep being a dick" warning, then it's his own fault for not heeding it. Its easy enough to say something like "we warned you and you didn't listen. people there don't like you and you're costing the store patrons. I was trying to be a friend by warning you - as i have done repeatedly."

edit: in addition to what edwardmyst above said: I agree, it's likely that his self worth is tied to this game in some way, and he can go ahead and keep it tied to his self worth - the real issue is his behavior. He can be proud of winning without actively being a jerk to others. From your description, your friend sounds young - and if not, then he probably lacks the social skills needed to make him aware that other people dislike the behaviour as well.

So I read the wall of text and I empathise with what's going on for you locally.

I've had a similiarish situation locally but the local player has managed to cooldown.

Ultimately, all you cam to do is talk to him and portray how he is making others / leagues / tournaments feel etc. Past that point there's nothing you can do apart from vote with your feet and others do.

If everytime someone asks for a game he gets the answer no, he will twig something down the line. He can't brag about beating people with no one to play.

I would try to get other people agree with not playing games with him. If enough gets into board he should find it preeetty hard to get games. There can't be infinite amount of players there unaware of him.

If he finds himself unable to get a game maybe he'll get a hint. And what can he do? Complain? Nobody is forced to play with anybody.

1) I have read the wall of text

2) No, 40kis not worth losing a friend over

3) If your friend is nice when not playing 40k, and a dick when playing 40k, then the obvious solution is to not play 40k with him. Tell him that you would prefer to play settlers or Minecraft with, because you play to have fun and you don't like to play 40k competetively.

4) I am myself a competetive powergamer that loves to play with optimized lists. Luckily there are organised events for powergamer. They are called tournaments. Maybe your friend should compete in some tournaments?

5) I have one great friend who is a terrible gloating winner and a horrible whiny crybaby when he loses. I love to play against him. I can pummel him in the worst way possible without feeling the least bit bad about it. With him I always rub it in.

6) Build a list that can destroy his Imperial Guard or Chaos list. Teach him how to lose. If he concedes early, gloat mercilessly.

You can try talking to him again, explain in as much detail as you have in your OP what your friend is doing and why he annoys other players/you when he plays.

If that doesn't work then I would suggest that it is the responsibility of the store manager to ban him or remove him if he is being obnoxious.

Ensure that your stance is clear to your friend so he knows you disapprove of his behaviour.

Alternatively you can kick him in the nuts and smash his models to bits. Then spit on him and leave a note on his head entitled "TFG".