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Not exactly comedy gold, but I've seen worse.

 Darnok wrote:
but I've seen worse.

Walked into a Harlequin bar recently, one of them held the door for me.
I thought that was a nice jester.


You know, there’s only one thing I hate about Drukhari, which is….

Space marine walks into a bar, doesn't even notice 'cos he's wearing power armour.

Two players play a pick-up game at their FLGS. They haven't talked beforehand. It was a close game and they both had fun.

This was from the days of dangerous terrain.

6 guardsmen walk into a bar.
One of them dies.

Blood angels, space wolves, ultramarines and two overlooked catachans talking quietly talking in the corner are in the pub celebrating a great victory. Marines being marines arebeimg very prideful and boastful and more than a bit dismissive of the Guard allies.

Well, one catachan has enough. Drains his pint, swaggers up to a marine and declares he has a problem.with their contempt of his mates. He challenges the marines to fisticuffs and walks out.

Marines all laugh condescending, grab their beers and start to head outside for the 'entertainment'.

Thing is, none of them saw the tripwire set by the other catachan.

:p

What do you call a lasgun with a flashlight attachment?

I appreciate all the ones that are actually clever about the 40k universe and not just terrible drawn out boomer jokes with the names changed.

Deadnight wrote:
Blood angels, space wolves, ultramarines and two overlooked catachans talking quietly talking in the corner are in the pub celebrating a great victory. Marines being marines arebeimg very prideful and boastful and more than a bit dismissive of the Guard allies.

Well, one catachan has enough. Drains his pint, swaggers up to a marine and declares he has a problem.with their contempt of his mates. He challenges the marines to fisticuffs and walks out.

Marines all laugh condescending, grab their beers and start to head outside for the 'entertainment'.

Thing is, none of them saw the tripwire set by the other catachan.

:p

But an explosive, that would have to kill three armoured space marines, would have to be so strong that it would definitly kill any catachan inside the bar. On top of that with 3 marines inside, there is high chance that such a wall of ceramite would kill or cripple two, but leave the third mostly unharmed.

Karol wrote:

Deadnight wrote:
Blood angels, space wolves, ultramarines and two overlooked catachans talking quietly talking in the corner are in the pub celebrating a great victory. Marines being marines arebeimg very prideful and boastful and more than a bit dismissive of the Guard allies.

Well, one catachan has enough. Drains his pint, swaggers up to a marine and declares he has a problem.with their contempt of his mates. He challenges the marines to fisticuffs and walks out.

Marines all laugh condescending, grab their beers and start to head outside for the 'entertainment'.

Thing is, none of them saw the tripwire set by the other catachan.

:p

But an explosive, that would have to kill three armoured space marines, would have to be so strong that it would definitly kill any catachan inside the bar. On top of that with 3 marines inside, there is high chance that such a wall of ceramite would kill or cripple two, but leave the third mostly unharmed.

Is it a bird? No!
Is it a plane? No!
It's the notion of humour, sailing well over your head. Christ almighty, Whole point of these things is a humorous take on the tropes and themes of the game, not to take them super seriously.


(1) explosive? plasma charge booby trap, as per the third ed codex.you know, the dirty tricks catachans are infamous for. Like shooting Commissars. Hence the point of the joke. Or maybe they'll be nice and just hit them with a (for narines) probably-not-lethal-but-very-annoying spring mine or shredder mine. They're allies after all, its just a combination of making a point and a practical joke. Space wolf in particular will probably find their cheek of the catachans absolutely hilarious and will buy the next round.
(2) who says they're still in the bar?
(3) ever think maybe that's the point? Leave a witness alive who will spread the tale of 'don't mess with the catachans'. Sly marbo isn't the only scary catachan. They're all.like him. And he's the chuck norris of the setting, even primarchs check under their beds at night in case sly marbo is there.

What happened to the hellblaster squad who were told to hold fire?

They went everywhere.

 Warptide wrote:
What do you call a lasgun with a flashlight attachment?

Spoiler:

Twin-linked!

Hands down, my favorite thing about 10th edition is that this joke will make sense again.