Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.
Found this on EATATAU. What makes you laugh in 40k
A young blood claw of the Space Wolves is captured by the Chaos forces, but they have already sacrificed every imperial guard they needed to,
so they decide to laugh a little. They tell him that if he success over three trials, he will be free to go. The first trial consists on drinking a whole barrel of denatured alcohol,
but they dont know that the young one is a Fenrisian, where they piss far away from the bonfires cause its flammable. He down it in one and asks for another one.
Finally, he burps and asks for the other two trials.
The Chaos Champion, a little pissed off says...
-"In the next trial, you will have to kill with your bare hands a Carnifex that lives in that cave,
and in the last one, you will have to make love to a Sister of Battle maiden till she faints."-
They took the blood claw to the cave. Some minutes after he dissapears into the darkness, some horrible screams start coming out from there.
Finally, they stop. Everybody in front of the cave think the space wolf is dead when suddenly, the bloodcurdling howls start again even louder and then stop.
Its like this for some time, with so terribly louder noises, that some of the heretics had to pass a morale check for avoid fleeing.
Finally the Space Wolf appears, puffs, and says...
-"For Russ! it was hard to make it faint... Now, where the hell is that maiden i have to kill with my bare hands?"-
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/08/10 11:11:30
Its hard to be awesome, when your playing with little plastic men. Welcome to Fantasy 40k
If you think your important, in the great scheme of things. Do the water test.
Put your hands in a bucket of warm water,
then pull them out fast. The size of the hole shows how important you are.
I think we should roll some dice, to see if we should roll some dice, To decide if all this dice rolling is good for the game.
N' Yeah, even though I walks froo' da Shader of da Valley of Death
I ain't fraid a' no umies': Cuz youze is wif me;
Yer Dakka and yer Chop, they's pretty good
Youze gots a Kan in front o' me when da' umies' iz mucking about;
Youze paint me ead' wif oil;
Me gubbinz overfloweth with Dakka, and me wotzits runneth over with Chop.
--------------------------------------------------
Blood Angels cannot assault Necrons due to love
--------------------------------------------------
1500 Points of Tau Molesters 100% painted
750 Points of WoC, 10 % painted
so he drank fethed a carnifex till it fainted and killed a sister of battle madien with his bear hands? where did i set that man of the year award
Automatically Appended Next Post: also the art gallery on eatatau shows just how low people want can go when given a pen and some paper. Yet i cannot avert my eyes
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2010/08/13 22:34:46
del'Vhar wrote:
Snikkyd wrote:Do you know why everyone keeps saying your 12 years old( or something to that effect)? Because everytime they say the joke was stupid, you get all pissed. Seriously, you know that joke was annoying and would provoke many people.
Stormrider wrote:Alcoholism, Beastiality and Murder. Only on Dakka!
never been on 4chan eh?
Maybe 2, 3 years ago, now its pretty tame.
Trade rules: lower rep trades ships 1st. - I ship within 2 business days, if it will be longer I will contact you & explain. - I will NOT lie on customs forms, it's a felony, do not ask me to mark sales as "gifts". Free shipping applies to contiguous US states.
"This One Is Rurouni... Once Again, This One Will Drift..."
"Rushing towards danger without hesitation isn't recklessness, but bravery... And avoiding danger when there's a chance for victory isn't precaution, but cowardice..."
"I can only go forward."
Stormrider wrote:Alcoholism, Beastiality and Murder. Only on Dakka!
never been on 4chan eh?
Maybe 2, 3 years ago, now its pretty tame.
You obiously haven't met my friend jessi slaughter...
Anyway great joke dude kinda saw it coming but ina good way.
You Dun Goofed, Son
"There are five possible operations for any army. If you can fight, fight; if you cannot fight, defend; if you cannot defend, flee; if you cannot flee, surrender; if you cannot surrender, die. "Sima Yi
Its hard to be awesome, when your playing with little plastic men. Welcome to Fantasy 40k
If you think your important, in the great scheme of things. Do the water test.
Put your hands in a bucket of warm water,
then pull them out fast. The size of the hole shows how important you are.
I think we should roll some dice, to see if we should roll some dice, To decide if all this dice rolling is good for the game.
I can understand your confusion,
I've been to sheffield.
Its hard to be awesome, when your playing with little plastic men. Welcome to Fantasy 40k
If you think your important, in the great scheme of things. Do the water test.
Put your hands in a bucket of warm water,
then pull them out fast. The size of the hole shows how important you are.
I think we should roll some dice, to see if we should roll some dice, To decide if all this dice rolling is good for the game.
How many Space Wolves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A full chapter, one to hold the lightbuld, and 999 to turn the battle barge.
Its hard to be awesome, when your playing with little plastic men. Welcome to Fantasy 40k
If you think your important, in the great scheme of things. Do the water test.
Put your hands in a bucket of warm water,
then pull them out fast. The size of the hole shows how important you are.
I think we should roll some dice, to see if we should roll some dice, To decide if all this dice rolling is good for the game.
Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios
Yo' Primarch is sooooo lame, even Edward Cullen calls him gay.
Yo' Primarch is so hypocritical he avoided the biggest fight Ever and then wrote a book on how every one should fight.
Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines
Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.
So a Space Marine chaplain, a sister superior, and a commissar are sitting in a bar. They're debate about whose troops are the bravest.
The chaplain boasts 'my troops are so brave, they'd jump off a 100-story building without question.'
The sister superior says 'prove it,' and the chaplain grabs one of his men, orders him to go jump off the building, and he promptly does so, falling to his death.
...the sister superior says, 'well, my girls are so brave, they'd jump off a 200-story building without question.'
The chaplain says 'prove it,' and the sister superior summons a sororita, orders her to jump, and she does, falling to her death.
The commissar butts in, saying that no one is as brave as his troops are. The others balk at this, so the commissar yanks an unfortunate Cadian from a nearby table. He points at a 300-story building and tells the soldier to jump off the top floor.
The poor soldier weighs his options and produces a very hesitant 'sir, no sir.'
The commissar turns to the others at his table and says 'see, that was bravery"
"Reality is, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away"
-Philip K. Dick
Constant Lurker, Slowly getting back into modelling! Someday a P&M Blog link will lurk here!
Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios
Sageheart wrote:So a Space Marine chaplain, a sister superior, and a commissar are sitting in a bar. They're debate about whose troops are the bravest.
The chaplain boasts 'my troops are so brave, they'd jump off a 100-story building without question.'
The sister superior says 'prove it,' and the chaplain grabs one of his men, orders him to go jump off the building, and he promptly does so, falling to his death.
...the sister superior says, 'well, my girls are so brave, they'd jump off a 200-story building without question.'
The chaplain says 'prove it,' and the sister superior summons a sororita, orders her to jump, and she does, falling to her death.
The commissar butts in, saying that no one is as brave as his troops are. The others balk at this, so the commissar yanks an unfortunate Cadian from a nearby table. He points at a 300-story building and tells the soldier to jump off the top floor.
The poor soldier weighs his options and produces a very hesitant 'sir, no sir.'
The commissar turns to the others at his table and says 'see, that was bravery
He then shoots the Cadian"
you missed the best part
Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines
Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.