I had this problem with my wife, wasn't hard to getting her too paint with me but playing is a different story....Some people just aren't into table top strategy games (which is fine) but I'm glad my wife loves painting sisters while I am painting my space marines.
Can't agree more with what big P said don't push the issue and for your husband's friend maybe he needs/enjoys that small bit of separation it brings. But in all honesty you should take the time to get to know the person first maybe they will come around sooner or later....Just don't be to quick to get the Inquisition on her