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My husband has a co-worker who like us is just starting Warhammer Fantasy. He also plays 40k and when he first met his wife he bought her a unit of Sisters of Battle so they could play together. She is not interested in the hobby at all, and at the same time is not interested in selling the miniatures because they were "a gift" and she might want them eventually. I tried to buy them from her because I am also interested in starting a Sisters army.

Because this guy is becoming a pretty good friend of my husband's and we are both trying to get into the hobby, there is a good chance that I will see a lot more of her. I would kind of hate it if I were there and she felt left out of the circle because she's not into the hobby at all.

Part of me is also kind of "if she wouldn't sell the minis to me, I at least feel like she should want to paint them with me."

Any suggestions?

I allways find that alcohol works wonders when getting a friends wife to do stuff ?

or you could go down the route of painting up somr realy nice sistersand maybe if she sees them she mite be inspired and want to try her own ?

Blackmail?

Other then that I have no idea other then getting her to know the background a bit more or see you guys paint.

My GF doesn't like the game, never asked her to play mind you but she loves the idea of getting to paint my models. I am not to sure I trust her though last time I seen her paint...bad memories. But maybe it will appeal to her maybe it wont.

But I have one question, who the hell buys a women warhammer models if she doesnt play the game or want to?

You can't make someone be interested.

Does she like to read? If so, try lending her some of the books (novels rather than rule books) - it may catch her imagination.

I do seperate my hobbies activities from my wifes hobbies just because we are the oposite in almost everything... as such I have diferent friends and she has also a diferent group of friends. We sometimes alternate and I participate on her stuff and vice versa but its not common... you see everyone's diferent and the diference should be respected if you try to impose or convince someone to do something she doesnt apreciate its going to end baddly.

Try finding out what she does like to do. Join her a few times. Then ask her to play along with a game.

Unfortunately there isnt really a 'girly' type army out there. Even the sisters look like men to me

Fluff can sucker people in if she likes sci-fi\horror. Painting might be fun for her. She has her own mini's so that could work. Some of her music, a big table, minis and paints and just do it for an hour or so.

Ask her what colours she would like them to be and paint one for her.

Really, some people will 'give it a go'. Some just arnt interested. Just remember you cant push people into a hobby like this.

In my experience, Warhammer is something that you cant "talk someone into"...they either have interest and want to play or they dont. This hobby is a large investment or money, and also time. My advice to you is to just have her around for your gaming nights and whatnot, and let her draw her own conclusions. If she sees you guys playing, and thinks it will be something she would like to pick up, then she will start working on her sisters, if not then she wont.

Everyone I have ever known who started this game was because they wanted to get into it. All my attempts to convince someone to play has been a waste of time. Sometimes even people who think they want to start will buy some models and then for whatever reason wont take the time to do anything with them. Take my wife for example, I cant bring her into a game storw without her wanting to start an army, but then after I buy her a starter box of whatever she wants, they will just sit at the house and never get touched. Thats why I have space marines, high elves, eldar, and a malifaux crew sitting here .....

So if you invite her to play suddenly you have a four-some but if she refuses it just becomes a three way.....

Apologies for being so puerile. 42 years old but deep down still 12.

I think the most direct route would be to get her to watch a game, see how much laughter is generated when a super powerful unit fails to hit a damn thing throughout the game, how when you need rolls of threes yet get nothing but ones. Or the belly laughs when your favourite unit gets taken out before they have even moved during turn 1. Seriously, show her the camradarie that this infernal game provides;not to mention the laughs!

Forget it, if you want to include her in your activities do something that you all enjoy.

CURNOW wrote:I allways find that alcohol works wonders when getting a friends wife to do stuff ?

hahahahaha, this is hilarious.... hahaha this is rich.

You might try getting her into a Specialist Game to sort of ease her into the hobby. Talisman worked pretty good for my wife, who's not into the wargame aspect so much, but likes the minis and boardgames/rpg's a little more. What more, it plays best with several players meaning it's more of a group activity. Even a game like Space Hulk might work to ease her in, since it's more similar to a board game.

Small scale games like Malifaux or Brushfire might be better to start with, especially Brushfire since it's anthropomorphistic animals fulfill that "soft and furry" need that girly-girls sometimes have. My wife digs the models, that's for sure.

I think there's only one army for a person like this.

Orks.

They're awesome, they're funny, they kick butt in-game, and they're GREEN. They're fun to paint!

There are lots of reasons she might not want to be involved. Find out why and see if you can help.

For example, if she likes to paint, paint with her.

If she does NOT like painting, you paint everything and then share your army during games.

If she doesn't like playing because games go too long, make sure to play short games.

If she doesn't want to be bothered with the 100 page rulebook, don't make her read it.

If she doesn't like the idea of getting obliterated on the battlefield, play teams so she always has an ally. (2 on 2 is SO FUN... in 40K I mean).

If she doesn't like the whole DARK FUTURE aspect, see if there is a way to help her come up with an army idea that isn't all DARK FUTURE.

If she doesn't like the high cost of the game, gift models unto her.

As others have mentioned, you can't MAKE her like it. But if she has a specific reason or two for not wanting to play, maybe there is a way to make the experience more to her liking.

Let us know how it all turns out!

And remember - even the most resistant player LOVES THE ORKSES!

Nuff said.
Solorg

Rohypnol, Roleplay, Rohypnol, Roleplay.

Rinse and repeat.

My suggestion is establish the friendship first on common ground

You need to find something in common, and thats not little models yet

Then if you get along get her around and ask her if she can help you paint a fig - everyone will give it a go once. Then give the fig to her.

If your tricky you can get her hubby to comment how good it looks.

Next time she comes around get her to bring it and she can work on it some more.

Er... Leave her alone?

Maybe she thinks its all a bit daft.

I cant think of anything worse than having the same hobby as my wife... Jeez... Its the one thing I get to do on my own and I value the separation it brings.

Plus she thinks toy soldiers are a bit silly, though she happily allows me to have a games room and paint every night.

Point is, why would you want to force the issue? If she aint interested in it, leave it at that.

Otherwise you may come over a bit weird...

Good call Big P.

Some of the advise on this thread reads like a "How to" for expanding cult membership.

Jus act cool about it, answer any questions she has and if she interested, she's interested.

Could be worse you could have no other players like little old me!

I had this problem with my wife, wasn't hard to getting her too paint with me but playing is a different story....Some people just aren't into table top strategy games (which is fine) but I'm glad my wife loves painting sisters while I am painting my space marines.

Can't agree more with what big P said don't push the issue and for your husband's friend maybe he needs/enjoys that small bit of separation it brings. But in all honesty you should take the time to get to know the person first maybe they will come around sooner or later....Just don't be to quick to get the Inquisition on her

Will she play games in general? My wife will play any game I want to take out, but has almost 0 interest in the hobby and fluff end of it. Great in one way, but bummer too because it leaves me building and painting multiple armies...


...well wait, maybe thats not SO bad...

Big P has it right...

The more you TRY to get her to be part of the hobby, the less she will want to be.

However... if you WANT her to be part of it, show up and have a great time playing the game, if its some thing she feels she is missing and will want to be part of she will be part of it... but she will make the decision on her own time.

I'd just work on getting to know her. Go out on double dates. You might find something else that she enjoys that the two of you or the 4 of you can enjoy. Visiting wineries, movies, theater, scuba diving, skeet shooting, or something.

Maybe she'll warm up to it when she meets a normal chick that plays the game? Good luck. If you don't get another player out of it, you'd at least get a friend.

kronk wrote:I'd just work on getting to know her. Go out on double dates. You might find something else that she enjoys that the two of you or the 4 of you can enjoy. Visiting wineries, movies, theater, scuba diving, skeet shooting, or something.

Maybe she'll warm up to it when she meets a normal chick that plays the game? Good luck. If you don't get another player out of it, you'd at least get a friend.

Truth.

Does she like to read? If so, try lending her some of the books (novels rather than rule books) - it may catch her imagination.

This is actually an excellent selection. A lot of us got hooked on the game because we got hooked on the stories first (long before Black Library existed). Lend her a BL book, not too long, but by one of the better authors & ask if she'd give it a read. That should give her the feel of the background, combined with watching you guys having fun playing. That puts the game in a good light for her, but in the end... not everyone is a gamer. My wife has never gamed and is not interested in it... but she has supported my hobby by buying me figs and making sure I have time to myself for gaming our whole married lives (and before that even). So even if she decides not to play, it doesn't mean she can't be supportive.

What, the idea of stomping he husbands army into the ground and laughing why shes doing it isn't enough.

On the flip side what are you doing that she likes, become friends first then see were it gose.

Ma55ter_fett wrote:Forget it, if you want to include her in your activities do something that you all enjoy.

I agree with this unfortunately. You can't make someone enjoy something, and trying to encourage them usually winds up putting them off completely.

I find the best way to encourage people is just to lead by example... Have fun painting and displaying and gaming with your own miniatures and try not to care if she takes an interest, if she is going to get interested let it happen naturally. And if she wants to know more lending her a book is better than explaining it yourself (but only if she asks).

Also 40k is a terrible place to start. Games like Space Hulk are much more fun for beginners and the rules are easier to pick up and understand.

@lorna: It is impossible. Liking 40k is a matter of genetic predisposition.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
EDIT: There is one way, but she has to already like computer games in the RTS genre.

::looks around gravely::

Yes, gentlemen. I'm talking about the first Dawn of War.

i would suggest letting her make up her own mind what she likes and wants to spend time doing.

Not to mention that buying her a SOB army was borderline insulting imho. So because she is a girl she has to play the "girly" army? Really? The 1950s have come and gone...

Couples do not have to do EVERYTHING together or have all the same hobbies and interests.

Lets be honest: Wargaming is uber-nerdy and does not appeal in the slightest to many people. Accept this and move on.

ha, you guys are cracking me up,

I'll tell you how I got my wife not only to play a miniatures game, but to run one.

Buy Malifaux, I love 40k and bought my wife an army of orks...which I now play, but after years of trying to get her involved, I just mentioned malifaux and the story just took off and the miniatures piqued her interest.

ANd somehow...she is now in charge of our malifaux games...

So my advice, find out if her disinterest is in the hobby(after all painting scores of minis is a chore) or just that particular game.