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Hello Dakka, I would really like some feedback on this fluff I have. Also I apologize if there is a misunderstanding in my date translations.

Chapter Name: Puteulanus Salamanders or Blue Salamanders.

Home world: Fleet based Chapter, chief command ship called Scabrosus Venator or the Rogue Hunter

Current Size: A little less than 700 Marines

Culture: The Puteulanus are the descendants of the Salamander gene-seed. When the chapter was split from the Salamanders they also took skilled Artificers from the chapter as well. The chapter is fond of fire and many of their Techmarines and Librarians are thought to be able to bend fire and create it from their own bodies. The Master of the Forge is considered the highest ranking spiritual leader and has command that is second of the Chapter Master.

Organization: The Puteulanus Marines abide by the Codex Astartes in regards of chapter organization but due to their small number they possess no reserve companies.

1st - Elite Company, Tattered Flames, Shoulder Trim - White
2nd - Battle Company, Fiends of Fire, Shoulder Trim - Black
3rd - Battle Company, Poison Drakes, Shoulder Trim - Purple
4th - Battle Company, Fire Breathers, Shoulder Trim - Red
5th - Battle Company, Iron Scales, Shoulder Trim - Green
6th - Scout Company, Liberi, Should Trim - None, Scout armour is camouflage painted

The remaining 100 or so Marines include command personal such as Librarians, Chaplains, Apothecaries, Techmarines, Honour Guard and the Chapter Master himself. (Note that servitors, space craft crew and vehicle crew members do not count)
Roster as of 999.41M (40,999)

Strategy: The Puteulanus Salamanders main strategy is ‘Drop Pod Assault’ backed by Razorbacks transporting small Devastator squads. The drop pod assault is often used with Tactical squads and Dreadnoughts. The chapter is rarely seen running Assault Marines with jump packs, instead preferring to use them in Rhinos.

Important Characters:
Chapter Master Cato Stratton - current
Chapter Master Konrad Odis - deceased, traitor
Master of the Forge Xavier Hephaestus - Master of the Flames
Captain Idious Fringe - The Falcon, Captain of the 1st company
Gervis Antarius - The Exiled One
Sergeant Markus August - current squad leader for Tactical Squad “The Immolators”
Sergeant Long Yeeth - deceased former squad leader for Tactical Squad “The Immolators”
Codicier (2nd level of Librarian) Adamantus Primus - deceased
Epistolary (3rd level of Librarian) Alpheus Marius

Brief History:
The Puteulanus Salamanders are a successor Chapter founded by the Salamander Chapter. The Chapter was formed when the Salamanders numbers were growing too large. The inquisition started investigating as to prevent possible rebellion. The Salamanders decided to send one-two squads from each of their companies and at least two Librarians, Chaplains, Apothecaries and Techmarines along with the Captain of the 3rd company. The Chapter was officially created in the 264.38M (37,264 year).
The Puteulanus Salamanders are active along the Eastern Fringe of the galaxy and often fight against Tyranids and Tau Empire settlements. The Chapter has also encountered numerous daemonic incursions.

This is just a short run down of the Chapter. I am in the process of writing a few short stories about a few of the Important Characters. I am also in the process of writing a Chapter War story. Later in fluff I will include gene-seed problems, but as for now, want a stable platform to work on.

CC wanted!

Well you shouldn't make their name so Salamander close.Change to something fire or forge themed.

Alright how is this, Puteulanus Incendia, it means Blue Fire. This is where I could really use help with names.
This name is latin so if anyone offers suggestions may they please be in latin or some form of it.
Thanks

mario96 wrote:Alright how is this, Puteulanus Incendia, it means Blue Fire. This is where I could really use help with names.
This name is latin so if anyone offers suggestions may they please be in latin or some form of it.
Thanks

Petulanus sounds very much like a flower...
Bad idea in a name (Personally) but use it if you want

mario96 wrote:Current Size: A little less than 700 Marines
[...]due to their small number they possess no reserve companies.

Why are they so few in number?

mario96 wrote:Important Characters: [...]

How are these characters important? You have a couple of Tactical Squad sergeants listed, and several of the characters are listed as "deceased". Are they still important? I know you plan on writing some short stories for these guys, but that doesn't necessarily make them important. If they're important enough to be mentioned in an initial run down of the Chapter, they should probably have had some significant effect on the history of the Chapter.

mario96 wrote:Chapter Master Konrad Odis - deceased, traitor

For example, this guy. Their Chapter Master was declared traitor, how did this affect the Chapter? What caused him to fall, and why did the rest of the Chapter not? Did he corrupt a portion of the Chapter? Did any corrupted Blueys survive, and how does the Chapter view them?

mario96 wrote:The Puteulanus Salamanders are a successor Chapter founded by the Salamander Chapter. The Chapter was formed when the Salamanders numbers were growing too large. The inquisition started investigating as to prevent possible rebellion. The Salamanders decided to send one-two squads from each of their companies and at least two Librarians, Chaplains, Apothecaries and Techmarines along with the Captain of the 3rd company. The Chapter was officially created in the 264.38M (37,264 year).

That's not how new Chapters are formed. They don't 'bud off' from chapters that have grown too large, the High Lords order a Founding and several new Chapters are created from near scratch.
The Salamanders are also an unlikely chapter be under investigation due to their size, they have kept their numbers significantly below those of other Chapters and even if they did grow in number drastically they would be far less likely to rebel than, say, the Space Wolves, who have gotten away with having being one of the largest Chapters around for millennia.

mario96 wrote:Later in fluff I will include gene-seed problems, but as for now, want a stable platform to work on.

Well, Salamanders gene-seed isn't without its flaws. They're generally slower than other Marines (although that may well be due to the high gravity of Nocturne), and the Melanochrome gland seems to overreact, it reacts to the background radiation of Nocturne by making the skin of Salamanders pitch black, and tinting their eyes bright red.
And if you do give them a gene-seed flaw, how will you have avoided the subject in your earlier stuff? Better to get it all figured out now, IMO.

mario96 wrote:Alright how is this, Puteulanus Incendia, it means Blue Fire. This is where I could really use help with names.
This name is latin so if anyone offers suggestions may they please be in latin or some form of it.

Tch. Call it High Gothic, then you can sidestep the inevitable grammatical flaws. And I'd really advise sticking with English for the big names. Call them the "Azure Inferno" or something, leave the Latin for ships and maybe a couple of squad designations.

Æscholt has pretty much sniped me on the important fluff errors:

new chapters don't form this way, not since the 2nd founding and the salamaders where pretty low on numbers then anyway, and are still below average on numbers now.

the inquisition have no power to create new chapters or have a go at a 1st founding chapter like this, only the high lords of terra can order new chapters. however the salamanders could be the founders if geneseed tithes were used on mars.

as the salamanders wouldn't have given them personel, especially ranking officers, you could have the chapters having a strong bond, with salamander artisans teaching your chapter's techmarines their craft.

having a traitor is one thing, they get executed and forgotten about, having a chapter master turn out to be a traitor leads to something very different, it leads to excommunication and a either the chapter is destroyed or they run and hide in the eye of terror or the mealstrom. you could have a company master turn traitor though, without the chapter being destroyed

and the salamanders geneseed already has a minor flaw, so this would be carried on in a successor, although it could be 'breed out' it the chapter's geneseed was a mix of 2 sources

Change the Splitting off fluff to be just the Adeptus Terra creating a new chapter using Salamander Geneseed.

Salamanders donate a couple squads of Veterans, Artificers, etc to jump start the chapter. maybe a Strike Cruiser.

Voila, Instant Astartes.

The Inquisition doesn't investigate Chapters that don't follow the Codex. neither does the Adeptus Terra. the Codex is a Guidline that the Adeptus Terra strongly reccomends Space Marines to follow.


the only reason Marines would get investigated would be one of two things. Abject Heresy and Mutation beyond the acceptable limits. neither can be leveled at the Salamanders.