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The dice gods are what controls nearly all of these games; they have complete power over our destiny in everything from the larger games such as Warhammer Fantasy Battles, Hordes and Lord of the Rings, to smaller games like Confrontation and Seeds of War. They can decide to give us great fortune in our dice rolls, or curse our armies with such bad luck that it nearly becomes ridiculous. There are several gods but three of them are seen as the rulers: Galodohn, The Blesser of Fortune, Cem'ietre, The Bringer of Disaster, and Kion-ara, The Shaper of Balance.
If Galodohn has brought his light to your dice, you Leadership rolls will be low and your Attack rolls will be high.
Should Cem'ietre curse your dice with his terrible words, you will roll exactly what you don't want to; your miscasts will be low and so will your armour saves.
And finally, there is Kion-ara who touches the dice with her balancing hands; it is she who is the source of the unpredictability - and thus the balance - of dice. But sometimes she will not succeed, and then your Doom Rocket only goes five inches.

The mighty Dice Gods must be properly revered, with rituals of sacrifice, lest they make us roll badly. Heed this warning!

CommissarCandlestick wrote:The mighty Dice Gods must be properly revered, with rituals of sacrifice, lest they make us roll badly. Heed this warning!

Quite. Serve them well and the rewards will be bountiful.

A good example of failure to serve them is a friend of mine (nebula666 on Dakka); I can't remember the last time he won a game, let alone rolled well.

Never brag about your rolls. What the Dice Gods giveth, they take away from the smug.

Jon Garrett wrote:Never brag about your rolls. What the Dice Gods giveth, they take away from the smug.

With this I concur, savour the moment, but don't keep showing off; it can only end badly.

It is worth asking if Cem'ietre does have humour, and if he enjoys seeing, that we can laugh about our absurdly bad dicerolls!
Will the watch make him believe that we want more of his cursing touch, or will he think that it is no use when we just find it funny?

Saintspirit wrote:It is worth asking if Cem'ietre does have humour, and if he enjoys seeing, that we can laugh about our absurdly bad dicerolls!
Will the watch make him believe that we want more of his cursing touch, or will he think that it is no use when we just find it funny?

Who knows? The Dice Gods are fickle things.

Indeed. My raven guard never perform on par with averages- they're either really lucky or really unlucky. I have a scout sergeant, Caddius, who seems to be invincible until he kills something big. I would go on about him, but I've already bragged about him on several different threads. I'll just say- 16 big kills in 10 games, and he's married to callidus assassin Caddius.

shrike wrote:Indeed. My raven guard never perform on par with averages- they're either really lucky or really unlucky. I have a scout sergeant, Caddius, who seems to be invincible until he kills something big. I would go on about him, but I've already bragged about him on several different threads. I'll just say- 16 big kills in 10 games, and he's married to callidus assassin Caddius.

Why is he still a scout then? He should at least become a Tac sergeant, from what I recall he's killed (DPs and stuff)!

I count all "big" kills as either being vehicles, HQ's or units over 150pts.

He is a scout sarge because I feel that the luck is in the model, and that if he were a tac. marine he wouldn't get in CC as much, nor be able to use his meltabombs effectively. I would give him a PF, but I fear that an arm swap would take away his luck. He stays.

Seems fair enough. I have an Assault Marine Sergeant who has killed Skulltaker 3 times and he's just been given a pair of purity seals.

A prayer and ritual before every game keeps my Eldar alive.


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Pray to all, even Cem'ietre, lest he send you plague and misfortune.

Always keep your dice in a nice clean case.

And remember to love and respect them as much as your models.

I made the mistake of not making a sacrifice to the dice gods in the last apocalypse game I played. 15 Necron Destroyers fired for about 3 turns at a group of chaos space marines and killed maybe 5 if them. Never again will I deny the dice gods their rightful tribute!

Look at your all. Such silly things asking the dice gods for rolls. Hoping that they take pity on you for the game. These are not what men do. They do not beg. They do not ask.

You take your rolls. You make them yours. You force them to your bidding. And if they fail. You punish. You make them learn to fear.

You should not have to ask the dice gods to be on your side. You make them.

Walrus wrote:Look at your all. Such silly things asking the dice gods for rolls. Hoping that they take pity on you for the game. These are not what men do. They do not beg. They do not ask.

You take your rolls. You make them yours. You force them to your bidding. And if they fail. You punish. You make them learn to fear.

You should not have to ask the dice gods to be on your side. You make them.

Loathed heretic, be damned! May the Dice Gods smite you were you stand! May they break all of your miniatures while you watch!

If your dice are failing you, especially one in particular you noticed has been especially unfaithful, separate out the maligned one and place it in water overnight, making sure the other dice are surrounding the watery prison.

Next morning, take a hammer and remove the offending dice from the water.

Place it out in the open for all the other dice to see and scream,

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR BETRAYING ME!"

and then proceed to smash die into powdery dust.

Your dice are now properly fearful and trained, and shouldn't roll poorly anymore.

Walrus wrote:Look at your all. Such silly things asking the dice gods for rolls. Hoping that they take pity on you for the game. These are not what men do. They do not beg. They do not ask.

You take your rolls. You make them yours. You force them to your bidding. And if they fail. You punish. You make them learn to fear.

You should not have to ask the dice gods to be on your side. You make them.

Offer the mighty Gods of Dice their due, lest thee curse they for thy impudence.

What rituals should one do in order to please the Dice Gods? I roll a die before every battle in the Dice Gods name. On the roll of a one, one must seek redemption and devotion for the Dice Gods. On a roll of a six, thou has momentarily has seen favor of the Dice Gods. The closer to one the roll is, the less favor of the Dice Gods. Is that suitable for the Dice Gods?

You fools, you attempt to appease the Dice Gods and yet you call them not by their true names


Their names are,

Ran, he who punishes those who court Lady Average, Lord of improbability. have faith, and your Grots shall slay terminators. annoint the dice with oil and drink sugary beverages while chanting his name.

and Dom, he who brings the arrogant down, fickle Lord of success. have faith, and your Grots may continue to slay terminators. Be humble in victory, calm in failure, and know that Dom rewards the unassuming.

WarOne wrote:If your dice are failing you, especially one in particular you noticed has been especially unfaithful, separate out the maligned one and place it in water overnight, making sure the other dice are surrounding the watery prison.

Next morning, take a hammer and remove the offending dice from the water.

Place it out in the open for all the other dice to see and scream,

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR BETRAYING ME!"

and then proceed to smash die into powdery dust.

Your dice are now properly fearful and trained, and shouldn't roll poorly anymore.

Quite. Instill fear into the hearts of those dice whom serve you.

Mordoskul wrote:A prayer and ritual before every game keeps my Eldar alive.

Pray to all, even Cem'ietre, lest he send you plague and misfortune.

Oh yes, pray that he will concentrate on your ENEMY!!!!

You fools, you attempt to appease the Dice Gods and yet you call them not by their true names


Their names are,

Ran, he who punishes those who court Lady Average, Lord of improbability. have faith, and your Grots shall slay terminators. annoint the dice with oil and drink sugary beverages while chanting his name.

and Dom, he who brings the arrogant down, fickle Lord of success. have faith, and your Grots may continue to slay terminators. Be humble in victory, calm in failure, and know that Dom rewards the unassuming.

I am going to pretend that was never said.

WarOne wrote:If your dice are failing you, especially one in particular you noticed has been especially unfaithful, separate out the maligned one and place it in water overnight, making sure the other dice are surrounding the watery prison.

Next morning, take a hammer and remove the offending dice from the water.

Place it out in the open for all the other dice to see and scream,

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR BETRAYING ME!"

and then proceed to smash die into powdery dust.

Your dice are now properly fearful and trained, and shouldn't roll poorly anymore.

Careful though; it may be a favoured minion of the Dice Gods.

Indeed... Punishing the Dice God's minions is hazardous - the Dice Gods may punish you!

Walrus wrote:Look at your all. Such silly things asking the dice gods for rolls. Hoping that they take pity on you for the game. These are not what men do. They do not beg. They do not ask.

You take your rolls. You make them yours. You force them to your bidding. And if they fail. You punish. You make them learn to fear.

You should not have to ask the dice gods to be on your side. You make them.

As for this, all I can say is: HERESY!

Hear my warnings, unbelievers. Carried to your minds by the power of the Gods of Dice themselfs. We have raised altars in this land so that we may sacrifice you to our gods. Veterans of ten millennia of unholy War Gaming wait to grind you beneath the theirs mighty Dice. The chosen of Cem'ietre hunger to add your dice to their bloody tally. Cem'ietre himself has marked this land, and will claim your dice for his throne. There is no hope in opposing the inevitable. Put down your Dice, unbelievers, and bow before the forces of Dice Gods!.

Evil War Gamer steave speaking of the Dice gods

... This bares a striking resemblance to the differing points of phillosophy between Jedi and Sith...

Prey, hope, be good and the dice will be kind unto you.

CRUSH KILL DESTROY AND RAGE AT THE DICE UNTILL THEY OBEY.

If one dice continues to roll poorly, he is thrown into the carry case and left there for the rest of the game. Upon returning home, he is thrown around into walls numerous times and is not used for the next game. It works for me.

shrike wrote:If one dice continues to roll poorly, he is thrown into the carry case and left there for the rest of the game. Upon returning home, he is thrown around into walls numerous times and is not used for the next game. It works for me.

Again, be careful, lest it's a favoured dice. But it does generally work if you need to get a dice in line.