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Horus actually killed the Emperor, and Tzeentch has been playing the longest running practical joke in history?

Yep, but we're not supposed to ruin it.

Ah, but you don't know that the deciever killed him in M31 and took his place.

Oops.

I also found out that the Thousand Sons... there's actualy guys in the suits... theyre just really short, and they peek out through small holes in the belly buttons of the armor


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Tzeentch still has Slaanesh convinced he is a dark god of Chaos, but really, he's the pizza delivery guy... what a trickster...

Hey guys, did you know that Ghaz died several editions ago, and it's really just a bunch of grots inside his suit running him like a puppet?

And did you know the crimson fist's fortress monastery was blown up by sheer DERP?

And were you aware that Sanguinius didn't really die, he just got knicked, and the blood loss made him super sleepy?

And can you believe that Exterminatus is really just a series of Orbital Bonbaonbardlements?

Also, the laughing god is not laughing at this.

Mr Nobody wrote:Also, the laughing god is not laughing at this.

Neither is the avatar... that's probably because his butt itches. Could you imagine having to wipe with your hand on fire?

I don't want to!

chuckwilliams wrote:

Mr Nobody wrote:Also, the laughing god is not laughing at this.

Neither is the avatar... that's probably because his butt itches. Could you imagine having to wipe with your hand on fire?

BLOOD covered AND on fire

Wow, is this thread still alive? I forgot its the bloody hand... wiping becomes really awkward there... i mean... whose blood is it???

I wonder if they have bidets in the Craftworlds??

I'm surprised this thread hasn't been locked yet.

Mr Nobody wrote:I'm surprised this thread hasn't been locked yet.

agreed, this thread should be put in a sack with some bricks and allowed to sink!

But its too damn funny.

Did you know all the lost primarchs return and use titans to merge with the emperor and make the Emperor-ator titan?

did you know that there once was a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, and being the hero type person he was, wanted to marry the Chapter Master's daughter.

So he went up to the palace and the guard naturally enquired "Who goes there?", to which he replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?" asked the guard, with a not unconsiderable amount of awe in his voice.

"Yes, I'm *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter," replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage."

The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your first task is to slay the dragon on Xylon III."

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Space Marine then proceeded with ease to kill the dragon and six months later returned with the head of the foul beast.

On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass"

So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes,*the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your second task is to climb the highest peak on Desgrus Beta".

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily climbed the mountain and returned 4 years later.

On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike.

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your third and final task is to swim across the acid lake outside the palace".

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

Once again the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily completed his task and returned to the palace for the final time.
On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike, can I marry your daughter now?"

"Sure."

I'm pretty sure there's a rule against posting that joke...

battle Brother Lucifer wrote:
The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike 2: The Wedding


There once was a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, and being the hero type person he was, wanted to marry the Chapter Master's daughter.

So after getting permission by going on a loooong quest, he was set to marry the Chapter Master's daughter and the day of the Wedding came.

They were standing before the Chaplain and the Chaplain said.

"Do you, the Chapter Master's daughter, take the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
And the crowd roared, "not THE Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike?"

And the chaplain replied "Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike"

"So, do you, the Chapter Master's daughter, take the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"For Rich and for Poor?,"

"In sickness and in health?,"

"As Battle brother, Sergeant, Veteran, Captian, or Chapter master?,"

"Entombed in Dreadnought Sarcophagus and in Power Armor?,"

"For as long as you both shall live?

and the Chapter Master's daughter replied:

"Do I take the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike to be my lawfully wedded husband?"

"For Rich and for Poor?,"

"In sickness and in health?,"

"As Battle brother, Sergeant, Veteran, Captian, or Chapter master?,"

"Entombed in Dreadnought Sarcophagus and in Power Armor?,"

"For as long as we both shall live?

and the Chaplain replied, "Yes, Do you, the Chapter Master's daughter, take the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike to be your lawfully wedded husband?"


And the Chapter Master's daughter said, "I do"


And the Chaplian turned to the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike and he said,

"Do you, the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, take Chapter Master's daughter to be your lawfully wedded Wife?"

And the crowd roared, "not THE Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike?"

And the chaplain replied "Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike"

"So, do you, the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, take the Chapter Master's daughter to be your lawfully wedded Wife?"

"For Rich and for Poor?,"

"In sickness and in health?,"

"As Battle brother, Sergeant, Veteran, Captian, and Chapter master?,"

"Entombed in Dreadnought Sarcophagus and in Power Armor?,"

"For as long as you both shall live?

and the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike said,

"Do I, the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, take Chapter Master's daughter to be my lawfully wedded Wife?"

"For Rich and for Poor?,"

"In sickness and in health?,"

"As Battle brother, Sergeant, Veteran, Captian, and Chapter master?,"

"Entombed in Dreadnought Sarcophagus and in Power Armor?,"

"For as long as we both shall live?"

and the Chaplain said, "YES!"

and the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike said, "I do"

and the Chaplain turned to the Chapter and said,

"I now pronounce this couple 'Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike and Wife"

and the crowd roared, "Not the Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike and Wife"

And the Chaplain said, "YES, THE Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike and Wife!"

And the Cround said, "Oh."

The end.

theduncan wrote:But its too damn funny.

That's purely subjective.

Hmm...

did you know? this thread is pointless!

But yeah, tzeentch is pretty cool like that.

There should be a *FRAT* warning on those 2 jokes... Do they say FRAT on this board?

fail :/
his scope is a soda bottle.

His chainsword is a back scratcher...