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I know this is the 2nd thread about this sort of thing today, but I didn't want to threadjack begginer's post with my own apathetic whining.

I'm suffering a dilemma at the moment. Due to working 6 days a week and being the only car owner means my week consists of 'go to work, come home, do all the vehicle necessary stuff (food shopping etc), go to bed, repeat' so I have little time at all, let alone time to spend on the hobby.

The other problem I have is that no-one around me is even remotely interested in the hobby. The only friend I have into the hobby is an hour's drive away, I know there is a gaming club on a sunday afternoon, but I alternate working saturdays and sundays, and the sundays I have off I have to take my gf to and from work so can't attend because of those commitments, also it's a 1/2hr drive away.

The one day a week I have off I have approximately 9 hours to myself, assuming I have nothing else to do (e.g. wash the car, go somewhere to purchase necessary items, fix parents computer, etc). I think, "you know what? I'll pick up a brush for a while" but then I think 'why bother? You have no-one to game with, no-one to talk to while painting/modelling and at the end of the day, even if you finish the model it will serve no purpose what so ever, you can't game with it, it will look crap etc etc' so then I just pack my paints back into the case and play FalloutNV or something.

When I was in Uni, I didn't have much free time but I was fully into the hobby. Every Tuesday evening I would go the GW gaming night and have a blast for a few hours, then enjoy a quiet pint before heading home. I would paint and model at home because number 1: I enjoyed it and number 2: I knew that the enjoyment I felt painting and modelling would lead to further enjoyment at games night, when everyone would complement each other on their handiwork and I would actually be able to play games with my creations. Jervis's article in WD a while back gave different types of gamers, while I am definitely a modeler, I am equally so a social gamer, and the gaming club was the source of my joy...

Lately my life has come to revolve around work and sleep, and very little else. My gf tolerates the hobby, but gets annoyed if I paint or model when we're together (usually while she's watching Emmerdale or Hollyoaks or some gak) so I tried the whole 'hobby in the living room' thing, where I had to paint on a sofa with a tiny tea-tray and no light while my gf complained she couldn't put her feet up on my lap and my hobby stuff was taking up all the sofa so that idea quickly lost it's charm.

I'm becoming so apathetic to everything now, I don't watch tv, the shows I have to sit through are pure trash, so it's more a case of sit & wait until it's time for bed. I haven't touched the hobby properly since september, when I painted 5 clanrats before shoving them back in the box with the rest of the 1000pt army that I haven't even assembled (and started on a new warboss conversion, I stripped an ebay AoBR one and cut off a leg, thats all). I did manage to get a game in in February, because I had the weekend off so went to see the friend thats an hour away. Perhaps it's not the lack of hobby that is making me unhappy, maybe it's that I still haven't adjusted to being in the real world after spending 4 years in university.

So what should I do? pack all my stuff into a box and become assimilated? should I cancel my subscription to WD and start taking tabloid newspapers seriously? should I start caring who wins the X factor? Currently everything seems to try to undermine things I feel identify me. I browse these forums daily, it's starting to feel like the only way I can break through this assimilation is the hobby, like if I can get back to a regular hobby schedule I might feel less trapped, but it's a struggle.

I know these aren't exactly real problems, just reading a few posts on these forums proves this to me without debate, and my respects to those whose hobby is suffering from these real problems, but I felt I needed to vent out today.

I need to find the drive to pick up the brush and craft knife again Dakka

If you get someone near you who plays, alternate venues.
If they drive to you, that's travel time added as game time, if they can write it off.

You have tried the game finder forum here on Dakka?
You've posted to the gallery here, so I assume so.

I have a gardenning tray on the dining table, behind the wife while she watches telly. It's her fault I play, so she can't complain

You will have tried this all already, but it's worth a try.

I used to have that "you MUST watch soaps with me and spend every second together and don't try to have your own interests!!!" stuff years back. A few commentaries on how the script could turn even more incredulous and voila, she watched soaps, I sat and painted or messed around on the PC.
Maybe looking around here for gamers near you is a good start, maybe start looking around for places nearby that sell stuff, ask about gaming clubs etc?

You really must separate your time for your stuff from your work and wife... Its hard and sometimes impossible but with a iron discipline you can save a couple hours a week if you want to.

No point in painting because you cant game? Well I don't have the time for games either yet the actual painting has become my main Hobby and its relaxing, at the end of a working day, paint a bit. Its a matter of balance I guess if your feeling miserable watching soaps then just don't.

I dont want to be to controversial man as I only know what youve said

but if your becoming apathetic towards alot of things it seems you cant be having much fun in life generally which is horrible (Ive been in that situation myself!)

everyone needs some time to themselves to relax generally!!

Good thing about painting a bit is it can be fun/relaxing/rewarding in its own right!

put some music on, or a music channel on tv, grab a beer/coke and take your time painting up a model to relax rather than seeing it as a means to gaming!

redeyed wrote:
but if your becoming apathetic towards alot of things it seems you cant be having much fun in life generally which is horrible (Ive been in that situation myself!)

I think it's just because things are a little hectic right now, I'm working weekends at a supermarket, a job I truly, truly despise while I'm temping monday to friday at a software development company. Which means I never really have time to relax at the moment, come July hopefully they will take me on permanently and I'll get to pack in my supermarket job and have some time to myself for a change. Once things even out money and job wise I think I might start to brighten up a bit, especially as it would mean I could start attending a club regularly.

I'm gonna try and get some done this Sunday, I've got a dystopian wars EotBS battleship sitting in the blister, and a wicked idea for a paintjob so I may bust out the brushes and have a stab.

btw thanks guys, I feel a lot better just from being able to vent out in the thread, and your posts have really helped.

I wanna see this battleship man!
get painting

First, sounds like you've got your nose to the grindstone and are working extra hard to get by and to improve your lot. Good for you! You've got motivation that many lack, and should be proud of it.

Now for the hobby stuff:

I see you're a social/modeler gamer, but you still might get a kick out of playing games via Vassal when you can't make it to an in-person game. Not only will it give you a boost to your generalship and a chance to try unconventional armies (and maybe find a playstyle that your model collection wouldn't normally let you find), but it'll make you extra stoked to use your figs when you do get in a game.

Tourneys are a great fix for those of us who only get a game every once in a while due to life commitments. If you can scrape the cash for entry (and maybe crash a couch to save on hotel etc., or get others to cover room if you drive) then it's a lot of good gaming in a compact period. Plus, no girlfriend to look down upon it.

Speaking of which, a girlfriend who doesn't respect something you obviously care for a lot and really need as an anchor for your creativity isn't fully compatible with you. Take that as you will, hope it's not too intrusive for a stranger on the internet. I dated a few girls who were actively rude about my gaming pursuits, and a few indifferent ones.. and it wasn't a good thing. They pale in comparison to the girl I'm with now, who actively encourages anything that gives me a charge and makes my life better (and thus hers). No offense, but if someone can't stand you doing something creative that makes you happy because it interferes with telly, there's something wrong with that relationship.

Anyways, glad to read you're feeling more motivated. Keep it up. Post pics. Hang in there, we've all been there.

Something you, and I think a lot of the folks here on Dakka, seem to feel, is that if you're having a rough spot with the hobby, or are too busy to keep up with it, it'll somehow 'hurt' your collection or models, but the truth is, it won't. That's one of the brilliant things about miniatures gaming, is that it's not a game of constant action, constant updating, constant gaming, like WoW, LoL, other videogames, or sports. You can step away from the gaming community for a while, stop actively playing games, for a week, a month, a decade, with your minis safely stashed away (or out and being painted, ever so slowly) But when you decide it's time to get back to it, or your life calms down a bit, you just dust off your codex, pull out your minis and start up again, no hurt no stress. Don't put time-limits on yourself, or quantity requirements. Don't make yourself paint to get the job done, paint to paint, when you want, why you want. The minis will be there for you.

And I agree with Savnock (though I'm probably an even worse judge, having never actually been in a relationship). Sounds like you need to at least explain to your girl what and why you're interested in the hobby. It might be as simple as a lack of communication.

Then again, it sounds like your Geek is getting seriously crimped. Do something Nerdy, once in a while. Let your Inner Geek be free to roam the interwebs, and spaz about superheroes, or whatever your personaly geek enjoyz.

If you and your GF are still youngish, neither of you have fully come to terms with the fact that men need a hobby beyond the GF herself. It's what keeps us sane, and lets us disconnect from our responsibilities for a while. Just explain that you are still with her in the living room where she can see and talk to you. You could just as easily be down the pub with your mates, but you prefer to spend the night in with her. It's just that the telly doesn't really appeal to you all the time, and you want to pursue some artwork occasionally.

Been through this myself a few times, life gets in the way is the popular term for it. Yet I always have found an hour or two to paint on the weekend and stick to it. Why? Because I think that there mini would look cool painted just this way or that and I make it so.
Game groups and opponents will come and go over time, sad but true, for many of the same reasons you have listed in the OP. You are in a dry spell for social gaming right now but when new players reveal themselves to you, your armies will be ready and fully painted, and will impress and inspire those you play against, if you keep doggedly painting whenever there is time.
The GF problem can be dealt with too, try just being honest that the soaps aint your thing and you would like to paint while she watches them. (Maybe not every night mind you.) If she is a well adjusted sort, this should be fine. If not, it may reveal an underlying insecurity or selfishness issue that only you can decide how or wether to deal with or not. (my wife wasn't crazy about it at first, but after awhile it is no big deal).
I must echo the idea of attending tournaments and conventions, they are a great mini vacation for those who work long hours and never seem to have any time to themselves.

I don't know if your living room is big enough... but if she would rather you weren't squirreled away in a different room entirely, you could do what I and my partner did, which is move the hobby desk we have into the living room. It sits up against the window, with a few lamps on it, and it means that if either of us feel like doing 40k, we can potter about on it without leaving the room. (And it has drawers in it for hiding away all those unsightly tools, newspaper, etc)

So if my boyfriend is putting together Incubi and I'm playing on my computer, we can still chat to each other. Obviously she won't be able to put her feet up on your lap (unless you get the positions just right, anyway!) but really if she's expecting you to sit down with her for hours to watch drivel just so she can use you as furniture... .

I find that if I'm feeling stressed out and don't want to do painting, I'm far more likely to actually sit down and do the models I personally think are amazing, rather than the rank and file I need. Leave the boring ones for when you're feeling better, or actually playing and paint/buy your favourites for some extra motivation. Alas, I'm holding my Forgeworld Keeper of Secrets model as ransom to get myself to paint my Seekers properly... any day now....

Thanks for the tips, the gf isn't really an issue, she's wonderful and an absolute gem and wouldn't trade her in for anyone.

She understands why I'm in the hobby, and has no problems with it, but at the moment I work 6 days a week, and don't get in til 6 in the evening, and we both work weekends so we get maybe 2-3 hours quality time together a week, I think maybe it's just wanting to spend the time together, rather than a dislike of the hobby. Currently we live between mine and her parents houses, so no desk available during the week, but I might get a painting station so I can keep things organised without messing up the house.

Well tonight she's gone to the cinema with her friends, I'm in the house with a 6pack of dr pepper, pizza and Tenchi in Tokyo, I think that's a good time to get some hobby done

hehe Tenchi In Tokyo thats a classic series and a cool one

The Paintstation isnt a bad investment, especially if you like to paint on your lap!

It can be a bit wobbly if you use it on a table though, has to be totally flat on!

Killamop wrote:I wanna see this battleship man!
get painting

Wish granted:
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/362026.page#2689712

Well got some hobby done, and man it felt good!