The Emprah lives [Role play thread]

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**Kasrkai**

The Emperor's back:

You suddenly snap to with a dull ache all across your body. The first thing you notice is the amazing stiffness in your body and joints. You open your eyes to look where you are, and see yourself in a big room. Really big, filled massive pillars of metal and stone, adorned with skulls and precious gems and rare metals. The next thing you notice, you are tied down to this big chair surrounded by thousands of armed guards who have yet to notice you. Wow.

What do you do?

**lord commissar klimino**

i get up and strangle one of the guards,take his weapon and start shooting more guards

**Kasrkai**

As if of instinct, you stand up, destroying the chair, and charge a guard. He falls to his knees with his head to the ground, as do the other guards. You grab him by the throat and squeeze, as hard as you can, severing his head completely. He drops his weapon, a pike thing with a gun, and start shooting everywhere. Guards fall in bloody heaps and scream in confusion and terror. Most drop lower in their bows and start begging some Emperor to save them.

Next?

**lord commissar klimino**

(ok,i get this game.i like these

)

i grab one by the collar. "who is the emperor and is he rich?"

**Kasrkai**

You halt you shooting when hear that name. The Emperor. You grab one by his collar, carefull not to sever his head in the process, and hoist him in the air.
"Who is this man, the emperor, and is he wealthy?"
Now the guards terror becomes confusion, and stutters a few times before he chokes out his words.
"He is you, great one, and you hold the wealth of millions of worlds!"

Hell yeah.

**WARORK93**

(I can already see, this is going to be worth quite a few lols

)

"Ah, I see." I say a little confused myself...

"Tell me, how long have I been strapped to that thing?"

**Kasrkai**

Such a revelation ought to have surprised you, but it does not. "Ah. So then, how much time have I spent on that Chair?"
The guard is a little more sure of himself now, and loses the shock that he initially had. Now he looks at you in awe.
"You have been interned on the Golden Throne for well over ten-thousand years, great emperor."

Well, now you know why your so stiff. That's quite a cat nap.

**lord commissar klimino**

i put him down and say "so...why do i have so many guards? do i have enemys or something?"

**Kasrkai**

Now, you ask the question that had you concerned.
"Why, pray-tell, is there an army to protect me? Have I a great enemy that wishes me dead."
Now the guard becomes angry as he tells you why.
"The foul powers of chaos and their traitorous legions seek your head, great emperor. Foul xenos and chaos will always seek your head, great emperor. We stand day and night, us custodians, to protect you with our dying breaths!"

Awesome.

**WARORK93**

Now realizing a little bit about what's going on...

"It is good to know that I have such faithful guardians. Tell me steward, how goes the upkeep of my estate?" (referring to the Imperium as a whole)

**Kasrkai**

Now this is good news.
"Tell me, steward. How goes the upkeep of my glorious estate?"
Now the custodian looks to the side, a little ashamed like.
"The... tithes come in, and... many worlds remain loyal."
That worries you a little.
"You dodge my question."
Custodian looks up, becoming defensive.
"The imperium is in good hands! The lords govern well and the Ecclesiarchy keeps the faithful pure."

The who and the what now?

**lord commissar klimino**

"tell me who these men or things are! and bring them forth to me!"

**WARORK93**

(whoops, ninja'd yet again....)

**lord commissar klimino**

WARORK93 wrote:(whoops, ninja'd yet again....)

(lol, you can have the next one

and ive seen you say that a few times before

)

**Kasrkai**

Odd names. maybe you should ask them.
"Bring these people to me, immediately."
The custodian is shocked at your demand.
"The high lords can be brought, but the entire Ecclesiarchy?"

The whole Ecclesiarchy? Sounds like they have a lot of people.

**WARORK93**

lord commissar klimino wrote:(lol, you can have the next one and I've seen you say that a few times before )

(seems to be happening to me a lot lately....darn you ninja's!!!!

)

Edit: I raise an eyebrow and make a dismissive gesture. "Fine, first I will deal with these high lords and then I will see about this 'Ecclesiarchy'"

The guards stand immobile for a second and I stomp my foot. "I have been in a coma for ten thousand years, do not try my thinning patience! Do as I say!"

**Kasrkai**

There was a long period of time in which nothing much happened.

**lord commissar klimino**

(well if WARORK isnt gonna post...)

"dangit! just bring the whole empire!"

**WARORK93**

(I'm sorry about the confusion, I had an important call...)

**Kasrkai**

Now your a bit irritated.
"Well, how about we just-"
At that moment, several dudes in red robes with robot tentacels burst into the room.
"Horror! The astronomicon has faded! It is the end of-"
A red guy takes first notice of you, and the falls to his knees in awe, as do the the others, and they all start praying to "THE MACHINE GOD".

You really are amazing, aren't you?

**WARORK93**

I lean over and whisper to the custodian next to me.

"Who is this guy, what is the astronomicon, and why is he praying to a machine?"

**Chowderhead**

"The Astromonicon? What the hell is that relic still doing up?

Scrap it and make me a weapon from it. I want it to be grim, and very dark. Call it... 'The sabre of GrimDark!'"

**Kasrkai**

Sry, new guy gets it.

Astronomicon. You remember that. Talk about old.
"We don't need that anymore. Now that I'm up and about, make it into a weapon. Something dark, and grim"
"Grimdark, ommissiah?"
"Yes, a weapon to rend my enemies. Grimdark...
THE SABRE OF GRIMDARK."
With that, the Red Robes jumped up, all excited with their new goal. They run out the door screaming and cheering and whatnot.

Emperor of a Million worlds. Infinite money. And now a super weapon.

And it's only 2:24.

**lord commissar klimino**

"i now need an empress! bring me the most beautiful women in the galaxy!"

**Kasrkai**

WARORK93: Sry, your posts are being ninja'd like hell and just now showed up.

Now something catches your attention. All your guard are male. You've yet to see a woman. Have they gone extinct?
You turn to the well-abused custodian.
"Where, pray-tell, have the women gone?"
The custodian is caught off guard with this odd question.
"The... the Adeptus Custodus is a strictly male organization, great emperor. Most are enlisted in the Imperial Guard or Adeptus Sororitas."
Well, that's a bummer
"Bring me the hottest of them all! I require an Empress."
The custodian's started to freak out now.
"A...A woman... for... for YOU?"
"Yes. And what IS your name? And who is this machine god"

NAME RIVAL CUSTODIAN:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**lord commissar klimino**

jorg o lo

**Kasrkai**

The custodian looks a little embarrassed.
"My name is not important, great emperor."
"Maybe, but I asked for it, and you will tell"
He looks down at the ground for his answer.
"Jorg. Jorg 'O Lo, great emperor."
You grin for the first time in ten-thousand years.
Jorg. That's a keeper.

**lord commissar klimino**

(ohhh,i laughed so hard.this is awesome! wish more people would join in! gonna give someone else a chance to post)

**Kasrkai**

(Also, feel free to get creative. I see some other stuff people around me said, like have the emprah run through a wall and punch a commissar.)

**Chowderhead**

Let's have the God Emperor use the Sabre Of Grimdark fo force a chess match between Creed and Tzeench himself.