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While reading FITZZ's story about his shotgun, that made me think of the most ANNOYINGLY annoying moment I experienced with a cousin of mine a couple years ago. When my wife and I got our first place, it was in an apartment complex, and I had an astro van. Lucky for me /endsarcasm, my building shared a parking lot with my cousins building. Shes one of those people that are niceish....but you just hate it when you realize the 2 of you catch eyes, because your going to get annoyed.

So I was getting the van ready to help my brother move, so I was taking the bench seats out of my van. I dont know if any of you ever lifted one, but they are probably a good 100 pounds or close each. So I was trying to get this seat out of my van, and of course a week earlier, I broke my hand and so was trying to lift this bastard out with one usable arm. So in comes my cousin
"Oh hey Brandon, wow you look tired there all sweating and stuff. Hey didnt you brake your arm or something?"
"yup, it hurts pretty bad actually"
So she starts rambling on about god knows what, I struggle some more. Then cut her off
"Hey you think you could help me pull this out of my van?"
"yea let me set my things inside Ill be right back"
And Id say about 1 minutes go by, I said feth it and continued. AFTER I finally get both benches out she staggers out of her building
"Sorry I had to make myself a sandwhich first"


I wanted murder to be legal.

So! Share yours, annoying stories that try ones patience make me laugh.

Any Hockey practice I've ever had, because I always get put on a team of asshats.

That sounds alot like when I worked for Target many years ago. I was incharge of the remodel at the store I worked at, and the team the managers picked for me, were a bunch of complete idiots. I literally had to tell them EVERYTHING they had to do....everything

Every single day I walk into work...
Honestly, I think every idiot in the shop get together twenty minutes before I arrive and plot to systematicly barrage me with a series of moronic questions the instant I show my face...
By noon I'm more than ready to commit murder...by six in the afternoon I'm actually surprised I haven't...but my throat is always sore from yelling.

Any given day in my weekend job.

'Will this fit my husband?' (Husband not present)

'How much will this case weigh when filled?' (Are you filling it with bricks or feathers?)

'Can I open this shirt' (FETH OFF AND DIE YOU GAK BAG!)

'I'd like to return this item' (No proof of purchase)

'I'm wanting a slim fit shirt' (Fatty)

'I'm a douche' (General Shopper)

'

Im guessing you work for retail?

Medium of Death wrote:Any given day in my weekend job.

'Will this fit my husband?' (Husband not present)

'How much will this case weigh when filled?' (Are you filling it with bricks or feathers?)

'Can I open this shirt' (FETH OFF AND DIE YOU GAK BAG!)

'I'd like to return this item' (No proof of purchase)

'I'm wanting a slim fit shirt' (Fatty)

'I'm a douche' (General Shopper)

'

I actually sympothize...I may be surrounded by a gaggle of half wits for most of the day, but at least I don't have to deal with the general public much.

Coworker, who was Ex-Military, had a wife and three kids, and said he was "management material"

"Hey, did you know that those Instant Inflateable Tents inflate instantly?"

And that's just the start of it; I asked him to put four boxes on a pallet, and he sits there looking at it "Deep in thought" for a good five minutes. Every time I asked him what he was looking for, he would yell "OH HI!" and walk until he was inside your personal bubble, and this isn't even getting me started on how he put these bikes together; he quit about a month ago, I'm still trying to figure out what the hell he did to them.

I work in retail, in a somewhat middle class British retail store.



The amount people with unwarranted self importance is astounding.



I try and supress the rage that the job generates although I feel I may be spawning some kind of unholy entity in the process.

It was fine this weekend though... and my colleagues are awesome so that's a plus.

also,

BEEN DRINKAAAAAN.

Oh shoot, you want to talk about customers?

"I don't see why this place is even open" he says as he see's that a General Goods store is NOT going to have a 3.5/16'th of an inch sprocket screwdriver. What IS that, even?

"I want Water" me: "Ok, we have several kinds, all at various prices, what kind do you want?" "I want water...."

"Excuse me sir, but does this pipe work for this appliance?" "I'm not sure, sir, we just got this pipe yesterday." "Well then, I'M sure I'm not going to buy it!"

I actually had a person ask for n***** brown paint in the first month of the job...



I'm not even joking.

Medium of Death wrote:I actually had a person ask for n***** brown paint in the first month of the job...



I'm not even joking.

You win.

Seriously, I got nothing.

I was so shocked I just told her to go to the second floor... (paints and such)

One of my apprenticeship employers. I had to stop myself going Super Saiyan so many times during those two months.

Boss: "I need you to do this, this, and this."
Me: "But I was told by XYZ to do this first."
Boss: "Well do this first."
Later.
XYZ: "Why didn't you do this?"
Me: "Because Boss said I had to do all this first."
Boss: "You should've said you already had stuff to do, you're wasting time."

Just one of the myriad conversations that made me want to murder everyone in sight.

To top it off, he never told you how to rectify mistakes. Seeing as though I was an apprentice and there to learn stuff, and obviously mistakes were going to be made, I assumed i'd be told how to avoid them, cue this:

Me: "<Insert feth-up here>"
Boss: "Well, you've made a mistake there."
Me: "I know, what do I do now?"
Boss: "Try and fix it, but you've made a mistake."
Me: "How do I fix it?"
Boss: "Tell XYZ what you did, but you can't make mistakes."

Perhaps if you TAUGHT me what to do I could LEARN how to do it. All i'm currently learning is that you're a giant gakker.

I was pulled out of that placement after 2 months because I finally turned around to my training company and told them i'd had enough and explained why, and they told me that he was being a giant douche and that I should just not turn up any more until they find me a new place.

It took me a while to get my pay-cheque out of him too, me and the training company had to metaphorically crowbar it out.

On the rare occasions that my department has to deal with customers ...it's always a "treat"..
Screaming...and I do mean screaming ..about why their car isn't ready..( Well...you ran it into another car and just brought it in day before yesterday...that might be the reason you gak headed twerp..)
Or loosing their minds because something isn't right...
I swear we had a woman throw her coffee at a painter because her car wasn't " The Pretty Blue" it was in the book...

" It's the same paint you picked Ma'am"
" I don't care It looks different"
" That will happen sometimes Ma'am...you see the.."
" I don't care it's not the pretty blue from the book!!"..whoosh.

...I love people.

every time im in a car with my fething sisters. they are the most annoying,loud,obnoxious things ive ever had to listen to. they cant go 5 minute without yelling or getting angry at one another. my parents constantly have to yell at them and they just ignore them.and of course they are worse than they were when they were younger. ive been in cars with kids there age,and none are as bad as them. and of course they are violent and hit each other,kick my seat,and try to annoy me....and seeing your stories there gonna become those customers you guys hate so much....

lord commissar klimino wrote:every time im in a car with my fething sisters. they are the most annoying,loud,obnoxious things ive ever had to listen to. they cant go 5 minute without yelling or getting angry at one another. my parents constantly have to yell at them and they just ignore them.and of course they are worse than they were when they were younger. ive been in cars with kids there age,and none are as bad as them. and of course they are violent and hit each other,kick my seat,and try to annoy me....and seeing your stories there gonna become those customers you guys hate so much....

If your the eldest, do what my brother did; sit in the middle, grab them both around the head, and smack them together.

They'll get the point eventually.

Backhand your sisters?

I hate people that try to haggle in retail stores... your not in some gak infested bazaar.

If you do this, please stop.

I blame this man.



Fething spud.

Slarg232 wrote:

lord commissar klimino wrote:every time im in a car with my fething sisters. they are the most annoying,loud,obnoxious things ive ever had to listen to. they cant go 5 minute without yelling or getting angry at one another. my parents constantly have to yell at them and they just ignore them.and of course they are worse than they were when they were younger. ive been in cars with kids there age,and none are as bad as them. and of course they are violent and hit each other,kick my seat,and try to annoy me....and seeing your stories there gonna become those customers you guys hate so much....

If your the eldest, do what my brother did; sit in the middle, grab them both around the head, and smack them together.

They'll get the point eventually.

i sit up front.and am the older middle child..there is 5 of us...oh,and the 2 younger ones are twins,11...the other is 12,13 in a few days...i know i wasent as bad as them because ive been told i wasent as bad as them.

Medium of Death wrote:Backhand your sisters?

I hate people that try to haggle in retail stores... your not in some gak infested bazaar.

If you do this, please stop.

I blame this man.



Fething spud.

...Old Lex Luther???

FITZZ wrote: On the rare occasions that my department has to deal with customers ...it's always a "treat"..
Screaming...and I do mean screaming ..about why their car isn't ready..( Well...you ran it into another car and just brought it in day before yesterday...that might be the reason you gak headed twerp..)
Or loosing their minds because something isn't right...
I swear we had a woman throw her coffee at a painter because her car wasn't " The Pretty Blue" it was in the book...

" It's the same paint you picked Ma'am"
" I don't care It looks different"
" That will happen sometimes Ma'am...you see the.."
" I don't care it's not the pretty blue from the book!!"..whoosh.

...I love people.

Man, that sucks. I have a lot of a respect for the guys that fix up my car, simply because they can do it and I can't. They deserve my respect because they're doing something for me that I can't do myself. You'd think it's a no brainer.

Medium of Death wrote:Backhand your sisters?

I hate people that try to haggle in retail stores... your not in some gak infested bazaar.

If you do this, please stop.

I blame this man.



Fething spud.

Really? I almost never go up to the Registers, but people seriously do that?

He is Dominic Littlewood and he is a fething pain in the arse.

Also I feel your pain about the exact colour thing, although I would imagine it being much worse in car.

Also, people forgetting their combination lock and just busting the zip open then wanting a refund?

Just work from 000 to 999.

GET A GRIP!

rubiksnoob wrote:

FITZZ wrote: On the rare occasions that my department has to deal with customers ...it's always a "treat"..
Screaming...and I do mean screaming ..about why their car isn't ready..( Well...you ran it into another car and just brought it in day before yesterday...that might be the reason you gak headed twerp..)
Or loosing their minds because something isn't right...
I swear we had a woman throw her coffee at a painter because her car wasn't " The Pretty Blue" it was in the book...

" It's the same paint you picked Ma'am"
" I don't care It looks different"
" That will happen sometimes Ma'am...you see the.."
" I don't care it's not the pretty blue from the book!!"..whoosh.

...I love people.

Man, that sucks. I have a lot of a respect for the guys that fix up my car, simply because they can do it and I can't. They deserve my respect because they're doing something for me that I can't do myself. You'd think it's a no brainer.

You'd think so wouldn't you...
But the majority of our customers are the BMW/Ferrari crowd and apparently ( as far as most of them seem to be concerned) if you don't earn at least a hundred thousand a year...your not a "real" person.

FITZZ, i'm sure if you but simply greeted them in person and put on a slightly angry face they'd mess their breifs.

Ending the whole snobbery affair right away...

FITZZ wrote:

rubiksnoob wrote:

FITZZ wrote: On the rare occasions that my department has to deal with customers ...it's always a "treat"..
Screaming...and I do mean screaming ..about why their car isn't ready..( Well...you ran it into another car and just brought it in day before yesterday...that might be the reason you gak headed twerp..)
Or loosing their minds because something isn't right...
I swear we had a woman throw her coffee at a painter because her car wasn't " The Pretty Blue" it was in the book...

" It's the same paint you picked Ma'am"
" I don't care It looks different"
" That will happen sometimes Ma'am...you see the.."
" I don't care it's not the pretty blue from the book!!"..whoosh.

...I love people.

Man, that sucks. I have a lot of a respect for the guys that fix up my car, simply because they can do it and I can't. They deserve my respect because they're doing something for me that I can't do myself. You'd think it's a no brainer.

You'd think so wouldn't you...
But the majority of our customers are the BMW/Ferrari crowd and apparently ( as far as most of them seem to be concerned) if you don't earn at least a hundred thousand a year...your not a "real" person.

Ahhhh, I see.

Maybe it's because I'm more part of the "My car is almost 15 years old can you please bring it back to life again" crowd.

Medium of Death wrote:I actually had a person ask for n***** brown paint in the first month of the job...



I'm not even joking.

How old were they?
That was the actual name of a colour thankfully no longer in usage.
Some older people will still use the term oblivious of social impact and changes.

Back On Topic
A story of my father's from his Royal Navy days.
In 1953 he was on a ship in the Med when an earthquake struck Cephalonia (the Greek island in Captain Corelli's Mandolin. Those who have read the book will already have know of the disaster)
HMS Daring was the first relief to arrive at the scene of the devastation.
At one point my father was in a party sent into the more remote areas and in the heat came across a family that were hurt.
They loaded a woman and her son onto stretchers and started off back down through tricky terrain to the treatment tents.

On the way Dad's mate in front said, "Watch it Shep there's something soft just here"
Dad looked down to see the stomach of a rubble covered victim his mate had trodden on.
Any ways
They struggle on down to the camp with the stretchers and arrive back at the camp, and when they ask where to take the patients, the woman jumped off the stretcher right as rain and walked into the treatment tent!

Apparently one of the lads threw the stretcher down in disgust swearing he'd do for the cow!

I would have been ok with it if they were older but they were in their 50's....

Same age as my parents, so I felt it was quite out of generational character as my maw and paw would never say that.

Not much excuse really, if any.
It is my parents generation and older that still use the colour name. They used a brown shoe polish that called that and I have heard them mention
I feel they may be forgiven the discretion, but someone my age ought know better and have to agree MoD


Someone mentioned haggling
I did a horticultural training course and helped out at weekends selling the plants we grew
As it was getting towards the end of the season, we knocked down the prices that wouldn't even have covered the cost compost and pots.

Most customers were an absolute delight
Tnen a biddy turns up in a new BMW gets out with hubby, loads up the counter with piles of bedding plants and demands a bulk discount.
Upto then my friend and I had been rounding things down just to get shut, but the gimme attitude and appalling lack of manners left me no choice but to decline the haggling and stick to the already heavily discounted price.

TBH was pretty staggered by the shameless gall of the woman

Medium of Death wrote:FITZZ, i'm sure if you but simply greeted them in person and put on a slightly angry face they'd mess their breifs.

Ending the whole snobbery affair right away...

Strangely enough I'm one of the few employes the customers never seem to want to yell at, and have on more than one occasion had very angry customers become at least civil when I approached them to discuss their concerns.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Medium of Death wrote:I would have been ok with it if they were older but they were in their 50's....

Same age as my parents, so I felt it was quite out of generational character as my maw and paw would never say that.

You showed more reserve than I'd have been capable of...
If a customer said they wanted their vehicle N***** colored ...I think I'd be heading to jail.