Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

I used to install Satellite TV as a sub contractor and I loved annoying people.

I would just tell them I couldn't find a signal anywhere on their house and needed to install a $75 pole mount plus $4 per foot burial fee.

annoying customer + $20 in parts + 30 minutes work = cash money


If they were really annoying I would tell them the only place I could find signal was their front yard

Grabzak Dirtyfighter wrote:I used to install Satellite TV as a sub contractor and I loved annoying people.

I would just tell them I couldn't find a signal anywhere on their house and needed to install a $75 pole mount plus $4 per foot burial fee.

annoying customer + $20 in parts + 30 minutes work = cash money


If they were really annoying I would tell them the only place I could find signal was their front yard

You are evil.... Infact you are basically Billy bob Thornton's character in 'Bad Santa'

Perkustin wrote:

Grabzak Dirtyfighter wrote:I used to install Satellite TV as a sub contractor and I loved annoying people.

I would just tell them I couldn't find a signal anywhere on their house and needed to install a $75 pole mount plus $4 per foot burial fee.

annoying customer + $20 in parts + 30 minutes work = cash money


If they were really annoying I would tell them the only place I could find signal was their front yard

You are evil.... Infact you are basically Billy bob Thornton's character in 'Bad Santa'

Gonna have to agree. That's a hilariously scheme right there worthy of a C comedy

Perkustin wrote:

Grabzak Dirtyfighter wrote:I used to install Satellite TV as a sub contractor and I loved annoying people.

I would just tell them I couldn't find a signal anywhere on their house and needed to install a $75 pole mount plus $4 per foot burial fee.

annoying customer + $20 in parts + 30 minutes work = cash money


If they were really annoying I would tell them the only place I could find signal was their front yard

You are evil.... Infact you are basically Billy bob Thornton's character in 'Bad Santa'

I was only evil to people who were being douche-nozzle's to me, most nice people would get reduced price or free custom labor from me.

I agree with you though, I installed cable tv/phone/internet for a good while and WOW people are 10x worse in their own home, but also 10x more funny. One time I was running cable through this dudes NEWLY refinished basement he had a contractor do. Im looking and tell him well Ill have to drill a small hole in his ceiling and run the line across the ceiling because its drywall, but itll cost $50 for me to do that. He says hey no problem do what you gotta do. I come back in a few minutes later with my equipment and suddenly there is TONS of drywall chunks and dust all over the place, the dude actually smashed a hole all the way across his basement. I was laughing so damn hard I couldnt breath. Couple hundred bucks worth of damage vs. $50


BUT the worst I had was this total donkey-cave guy that apparently knew my job better then I did, and kept telling me I was doing it wrong and it didnt look nice enough and the whole 9 yards, even told me he didnt like how I dug the trench for the cable in the ground, a 2 hour job literally put me 3 or 4 hours BEHIND SO once I was finally done with that I asked if I could use his bathroom real quick, and when he said yes, I took a gak in the tank of his toilet.....not the bowl folks...the tank

When I was a mail carrier I heard nothing but idiotic questions and unreasonable complaints.

Protip: If the piece of mail you're waiting for hasn't come into the office, your mail carrier has no power to somehow make it magically appear. This usually came up on SSI day... Oh, and if your mailbox has an 8 foot tall snowbank in front of it I can't deliver your mail.

There's also people that will not pay their bills and blame the mail carrier. We had a guy say for months that I wasn't delivering his cable bill. The next time it came in I handled it the way I would have handled a registered letter (i.e. Very Important Mail) and called the Postmaster from my cell phone as I put it into his mailbox.

3 days later: "I didn't get my cable bill! What the hell is wrong with the mail carrier, blah blah blah..."

Friggin' scumbags.

KingCracker wrote:I agree with you though, I installed cable tv/phone/internet for a good while and WOW people are 10x worse in their own home, but also 10x more funny. One time I was running cable through this dudes NEWLY refinished basement he had a contractor do. Im looking and tell him well Ill have to drill a small hole in his ceiling and run the line across the ceiling because its drywall, but itll cost $50 for me to do that. He says hey no problem do what you gotta do. I come back in a few minutes later with my equipment and suddenly there is TONS of drywall chunks and dust all over the place, the dude actually smashed a hole all the way across his basement. I was laughing so damn hard I couldnt breath. Couple hundred bucks worth of damage vs. $50


BUT the worst I had was this total donkey-cave guy that apparently knew my job better then I did, and kept telling me I was doing it wrong and it didnt look nice enough and the whole 9 yards, even told me he didnt like how I dug the trench for the cable in the ground, a 2 hour job literally put me 3 or 4 hours BEHIND SO once I was finally done with that I asked if I could use his bathroom real quick, and when he said yes, I took a gak in the tank of his toilet.....not the bowl folks...the tank

you win 17 Internets

KingCracker wrote:I agree with you though, I installed cable tv/phone/internet for a good while and WOW people are 10x worse in their own home, but also 10x more funny. One time I was running cable through this dudes NEWLY refinished basement he had a contractor do. Im looking and tell him well Ill have to drill a small hole in his ceiling and run the line across the ceiling because its drywall, but itll cost $50 for me to do that. He says hey no problem do what you gotta do. I come back in a few minutes later with my equipment and suddenly there is TONS of drywall chunks and dust all over the place, the dude actually smashed a hole all the way across his basement. I was laughing so damn hard I couldnt breath. Couple hundred bucks worth of damage vs. $50


BUT the worst I had was this total donkey-cave guy that apparently knew my job better then I did, and kept telling me I was doing it wrong and it didnt look nice enough and the whole 9 yards, even told me he didnt like how I dug the trench for the cable in the ground, a 2 hour job literally put me 3 or 4 hours BEHIND SO once I was finally done with that I asked if I could use his bathroom real quick, and when he said yes, I took a gak in the tank of his toilet.....not the bowl folks...the tank

OMG I have wanted to do something like that to sooo many ignorant people I wish I thought of it

The things I've wanted to say/do to a customer, but didn't because I like being paid/having a good reference.

Hats off to KingCracker for that one.

My coworker is pushing in carts from outside when a woman with three kids is blocking his way inside the store(she's getting her kids in line but holidng things up anyways) there's no way he can get by so he waits patiently. After they enter she pops her head back out of the door and says "Lousy job huh?"

To which my friend replies, "Yeah, but it beats being a mother of three.".

halonachos wrote:My coworker is pushing in carts from outside when a woman with three kids is blocking his way inside the store(she's getting her kids in line but holidng things up anyways) there's no way he can get by so he waits patiently. After they enter she pops her head back out of the door and says "Lousy job huh?"

To which my friend replies, "Yeah, but it beats being a mother of three.".

You're friend is officially awesome I tip my hat(s) to him

LordofHats wrote:

halonachos wrote:My coworker is pushing in carts from outside when a woman with three kids is blocking his way inside the store(she's getting her kids in line but holidng things up anyways) there's no way he can get by so he waits patiently. After they enter she pops her head back out of the door and says "Lousy job huh?"

To which my friend replies, "Yeah, but it beats being a mother of three.".

You're friend is officially awesome I tip my hat(s) to him

He knows, we do stuff like that whenever we get sufficiently ticked off.

Teenagers are hanging out in store, a girl is sitting in one of the power wheels being pushed around by one of the boys.

Me: Excuse me, you guys really aren't allowed to ride on those.

Teenager: Aw, c'mon.

Me: There's a weight limit on those things you know.


Other than that I don't like the people who walk into a toy store wearing offensive clothing. Things like a giant belf buckle with the word 'feth' on it, or a T-Shirt with the phrase 'I like them young dumb and full of c**'. <-- another term for male ejaculate that rhymes with dumb.