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Soo... my 36th birthday is next week. Officially I feel like I am an Adult. 35 years down.... The rest is just a downhill slide.(?)

I pine for my youth. I remember things much more fondly than when I actually was a part of them. I do alot of things trying to recapture my youth. But did my youth end? Did my youth end after High school? Did it end in the gulf when I fired my M203 assault weapon at another human with the intent to kill them? After my first beer? (The last 2 are in order... which tells you how messes up the world is.)

I still play D&D and Warhammer. I still enoy video games. I like to do stupid and foolish things like drink till I pass out and smoke "Homeopathic" medicine from time to time. (Dont do this kids, its stupud and foolish...as I previously mentioned.)

But like an alzheimers patient that feels themselves slipping slowly away... I too feel as if I am slowly losing my childhood self, and moving into my adult role in society.

I find myself listening to Talk Radio, NPR, ESPN radio and The Oldies stations... But yesterday I heard Nirvana on our "Classic Rock" station.... so yeah... officially I feel old.

But I dont. I dont 'FEEL' like an adult.

So you gentlemen and ladies of 'advanced' age... Tell me. When did you feel like an adult.

I am not an adult, but I can already ''feel'' childhood and youth escaping. It's a sad feeling looking at it, but when I am nearly finished with my school years (excluding college), it makes me quite upset knowing my time of being a youth is almost gone- no longer having an excuse for why it's okay why I do ...things.

But, they say age is just a number.

Yeah, after college you feel the "need," but rarely have the "means."

It's a strange time.

I'm only 21, and I feel about there, so, I'm kinda hoping that lasts, at least until I'm 30.

Are you guys or gals where you thought you would be in life?

Do you have the job you wanted? The Spouse/boyfirend/girlfriend/life Partner you thought you would have? Are you happy with who you turned out to be?

I'll be 33 this year and I still don't feel like an adult. I'm totally not where I expected myself to be. Mostly because I think I lack any serious goals or ambition.

I am 30 now and miss being a dirty little punk rocker so bad it hurts.

I still go to shows but everytime its ust a reminder that the scene dosent age just me.

On the plus side I like controlling my own life and dont miss the confusion of being a teenanger at all.

Connor McKane wrote:Are you guys or gals where you thought you would be in life?

Do you have the job you wanted? The Spouse/boyfirend/girlfriend/life Partner you thought you would have? Are you happy with who you turned out to be?

Am I where I thought I would be? No, not at all.

Do I have the job I wanted? No, I work in a costume store, but, I want to be a stylist.

Am I happy with my fiancé? Of course, I mean, given that I am the way I am, not many women would give me a chance.

Im still pretty childish too.

According to my missus, my mum, my grandmother, men never grow up.

So I wouldnt worry about it. And on a site dedicated to toy soldiers, do you really expect to find anyone who thinks they are "mature"

Yep, another man child here (35). My life kind of went into overdrive when I met my wife. In the four and a half years that have passed since, I have got married, bought a house and have a one year old son. That was a cataclysmic change in lifestyle for me, but I'm still able to get the toys out a few times a week

I prefer myself to be called a woMan-child

mattyrm wrote: According to my missus, my mum, my grandmother, men never grow up.

That's not true - men mature much faster than women; generally around age 8

I'm 25, married and have no idea what the hell is going on. Too old to be a kid, not experienced enough to be an adult

Surely by now I should have been told how to be an adult by some government agency or something? WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE ADULTS!?!?!

Playing games and enjoying yourself shouldn't be the exclusive domain of the child. There's no reason to give up that which you enjoy just because of the length of time you've been alive. It'd be a bleak and miserable existence if that was the case. Being an adult is about taking responsibility for your actions, your life, and your loved ones. It's about standing up for yourself and being an independant human being. It's not about putting away your toy soldiers, no matter what Kipling said.

Connor McKane wrote:Are you guys or gals where you thought you would be in life?

Do you have the job you wanted? The Spouse/boyfirend/girlfriend/life Partner you thought you would have? Are you happy with who you turned out to be?

Kind of.

Don't have the job I wanted, various things conspired to see to that, but I'm not unhappy with that.

So much better off than I thought I'd be in the partner situation. I'm very lucky in that respect.

Overall, yes, I'm happy with who I am. I've come to terms with my flaws, learned to account for them, and live a life that makes me happy (for the most part). What more can we ask for?

I'm very happy with the way my life has gone. My tour in Army, while not fantastic set me up with an entire career field that I didn't even know existed before hand. I love my job, and make very good money for what I do.

With my wife, I coulden't be happier, there is litterly no one I could ever imagine being with besides her.

I'm blessed that I'm young, and able to afford things like exotic vacations, and nice things, that most people don't get until their older.

Overall, I couldn't be happier, or in a better situation than I have right now.

It's all thanks to the fact that I was an impulsive 18 year old that didn't want to go to medical school.

I know exactly how you feel OP. I'm 31 and have been married nearly 6 years. I don't drink much anymore, I used to enjoy a recreational schmoke but can't do that anymore, I used to go to long weekend music festivals and gig after gig. Yup, I long for my childhood again.

I still play on my PS3 regularly and basically I don't think I'll ever grow up completely. There will always be a part of me that's 12 years old and frankly, I embrace it!

At least our shared hobby is not what id call a waste of money.

I'm 31, and in some ways I feel quite adult. I do a pretty important job that takes a lot of skill and training. I do it well, and I'm looking ahead to possible promotions.

On the other hand, I still live in a two bedroom apartment with an old friend from my fraternity days. I get drunk. I have no kids, no wife, no long term girlfriend. My life exists solely to entertain me, I have no other responsibilities.

so, yeah, I'm a man child.

Age has almost nothing to do with it I'd wager.
Youth is gone when you decide it is, or if it's taken from you.
It gets harder to be carefree the older you get because you've accumulated things you care about. Jobs, kids, relationships of all kinds, possessions. The cruel trick here is that everything is changing, and almost nothing is static. You could get fired from a job you love, have kids grow up and turn rebellious, love fall apart or friends drift away. Everything could burn in a fire.
Youth as you're using the term is the carefree attitude towards these things. It just gets hard to be carefree about certain things.
But a life without attachment to anything becomes devoid of meaning pretty damn fast. Just hope that the happiness you get from something doesn't weigh less than the pain you get when it changes.

The old adage, "The things you own, end up owning you."

I don't feel like I should have 'more,' but I see the expectations in the media:

House, Car, Boat, Vacations, Dog, Golf, Poker night...

Is it in the pursuit of such things which we care little or none for, this this the path to a lost childhood?

I am the #3 guy in my company. Only the COO and the CEO are above me in the Org Chart. Does this make me an adult?

I have 2 Children, 12 and 8, does this make me an adult?

I own my car, and a truck, I live in a great apartment.

I support 3 more adults (a friend and a disabled sister-in-law)

...

I mean, whats it gonna take for me to feel grown up... or is that never to be.

Are YOU going to be a 50 year old child?

I think I am.

If that's what makes you happy man, go for it.
Successful is a word I would use to describe your situation.
We could trade fightclubisms all day. It boils down to are you happy?
Many "adults" that I know are just pretending anyway, denying themselves things they feel are reserved for youth. Others trade happiness for money. Big ol pile of screw that.

But it seems like you're happy and doing what you want.

I'm no therapist, but if I was, that would be $200 payable in models, see you next week.

Being an adult has nothing to do with age and everything to do with maturity. I'm 18 and by the time I'm in my 30's I expect to have some boring office job like in those Dilbert cartoons, constantly spouting about how

"I'm still a child on the inside", because kids love doing boring office work right? In all seriousness I try to go about my day doing what I enjoy the most while taking in consideration my personal limitations.

Although sometimes I have to make the responsible decision and study for the test, practice driving, working, etc.

I have no idea what feeling like an Adult means.

Seriously, I know at eighteen I can vote, I am considered an adult by law for my actions, I can drink, smoke and all that jazz.

However, I have no idea what it means to be an adult, no one taught me that. There is nothing other than a number that shows me what I am. That number would be thirty seven by the way.

I still game, wargamming and roleplaying, I play consoles, I watch programs meant for children and adults. I talk to my children without the need to talk down to them, but they know when they have crossed the line, and no matter how much they might protest, they go and stand at the wall until I tell them they can step away everytime. (Most of the time, they don't protest, just even when they do, they go.)
I play games with them, we can get excited over similar things, however I know I provide and protect for them, and would die for any of them or Aurelia in an instant.

To the OP, I do not pine for anything from my past, I enjoy my life, things seem to be better and better. I have kids, a loving family, work hard for a family business, still play with toy figures, and spend way to much money on trivial things, but I am content.

I have no idea if I am child or man, all I need to know is everything at this moment works and so far, fate has been kind to me.

My advice would be similar to what others have said, be happy, enjoy what you have, if things are going well, there is no need to worry.

Connor McKane wrote:I mean, whats it gonna take for me to feel grown up... or is that never to be.

Are YOU going to be a 50 year old child?

I think I am.

I think the world could use some more people like you in my opinion.

27, and I dont feel like a child at all. And havnt really since I was about 20. I still do things that I enjoy and have a fun life, but feeling like a child has slipped from me many years ago.

Man, I feel like a man.

As a buddy once put it, I'm old enough to act immature if I want to.

As for the theme of being in between... Mr. Cooper says it well.

Awesome song!

This isn't really about me and my situation, it is more of a discussion on what is the "Passage into Adulthood?"

It seems less defined than it did for the previous generation... or is it just about me then?

Was there one defining moment for someone out there that you felt like "Thats it. I am a man/woman now."

I'm 29 on Thursday and as to if I feel like an adult or a child I'd say I know I'm an adult. I know my childhood has slipped away because now I have things to worry about, things that I had no real notion of as a child or had no need to worry about as other people did the worrying for me. Yes those carefree days are behind me. That doesn't however mean I cant be childish or immature at times, but I can be mature and responsible and sensible when I need to be. Yes I still love to play video games, yes I spend more money than I probably should on models and yes when I go out I still put on my "warpaint" and wear silly clothes because it makes me happy. Am I wear I wanted to be at this age? Heck no and right now I'm going through a pretty rough patch (which I wont whine,complain about or bore you with here) but I am (at least I hope) sensible and mature enough to deal with it in an adult fashion. Do I miss my childhood? I miss certain aspects of it. I miss being carefree, not worrying about anything, not having bad knees lol and I miss the fact that back then 10 minutes seemed like a long time, days seemed to last forever, now it's all rushing around and nobody seems to have any time anymore.

So yes in my roundabout, rambling way I'm saying personally I feel like an adult, my childhood ended when I realised I had cares, worries and responsibilities. But I'm not going to let that stop me trying to have as much fun as I possibly can.

Happy Birthday mate. Hope you have a good one.

Yes, happy birthday.

This is a truism about many men, Connor. Not all of us, obviously (as KC demonstrates), but it could be most.

If you act with honesty, in consistency with the principles in which you believe, you're doing it right. If you stand up and do the best you can for the people you love and who count on you, you're doing it right. If you are strong and kind and generous to people in general, you're doing it right. You're not going to succeed all the time; but if you do your best and you're there for the people who need you, that's about as much of a man as any of us manage to be.

I like this one a lot:

Morathi's Darkest Sin wrote:I still game, wargamming and roleplaying, I play consoles, I watch programs meant for children and adults. I talk to my children without the need to talk down to them, but they know when they have crossed the line, and no matter how much they might protest, they go and stand at the wall until I tell them they can step away everytime. (Most of the time, they don't protest, just even when they do, they go.)
I play games with them, we can get excited over similar things, however I know I provide and protect for them, and would die for any of them or Aurelia in an instant.

To the OP, I do not pine for anything from my past, I enjoy my life, things seem to be better and better. I have kids, a loving family, work hard for a family business, still play with toy figures, and spend way to much money on trivial things, but I am content.

I have no idea if I am child or man, all I need to know is everything at this moment works and so far, fate has been kind to me.

My advice would be similar to what others have said, be happy, enjoy what you have, if things are going well, there is no need to worry.

Lots of wisdom here. Sounds like a man to me.