Curse of the Emperor (Or whatever you believe in)

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**Zalmout**

We've all had our fair share of humiliating moments (losing 3 out of 5 terminators from a LR explosion), so I just thought this would be a good place to get a laugh from all the horrible, cruel, and sometimes just unfair events that the gods of fate have bestowed on our poor troops.

I'll start:

Being a guard player of sound mind and body I decided to drop a basilisk shell on a clump of flayed ones about to assault troops on an objective. Surprisingly enough the shot hits and I proceed to roll to wound against the 10 flayed one squad. Being short on die I decide to just roll five die twice. It results in me rolling all ones not once, but twice. The flayed ones then proceeded to maim, kill, and skin my guardsmen defending the point. I don't know what I did to bother the Emperor that much, but obviously I deserved it.

**juraigamer**

I got wounded by 5 bolter shots on my assault termies, rolled 3 ones.

I've also attacked with a mob of 30 boyz and only gotten 3 wounds against normal space marines, out of 120 attacks.

A friend used 13 dark lances and 4 blasters against a tau army, and BEFORE cover saves only rolled one glancing hit that turn, which was 4+sed

**Mr Nobody**

16 genestealers against 10 fire warriors, the genestealers lost.

**timetowaste85**

My lightning claw terminator (last one left) took a shield drone to his face. I guess the broadside decided to use it as a discus. Long story short, his face caved in and he collapsed in a giant pile of fail. Pretty sure he evacuated his bowels when he died. Stupid terminator...

**Jimsolo**

At a tournament yesterday, I shot with every unit in a Space Marine gunline army in one particular phase, and while my hits were average, I didn't manage to roll a successful wound one single time.

**spudkins**

I once beat and tyranid hive tyrant with 12ish fire warriors by punching it in the face.

**KilroyKiljoy**

Orks v. Thousand Sons.

Never got close enough to assault them. Tried to shoot them with lootas, rolled a one for the amount of shots, got 4 to hit, and rolled 4 1's for wound.

**Justus**

I had a squad of 5 tactical marines, desperate for options, planning to shoot and assault my Daemon Prince, the Nurgle kind. They level and fire their Bolt Pistols, ready to fight. Let's just say they never got to charge

**Lobokai**

Happened to an ally:

4 TH/SS Termies killed by 8 Deffgun hits

Happened to friend (I did it to him)

6 Tactical marines (no powerfists either) took down fresh Daemon Prince... and two of them walked away!

**thenoobbomb**

Land Raider versus some nobs. LR redeemer exploded with 3 orks dead.

**crudcakes**

Daemon prince beaten to death by a dreadnought with no arms

Stupid

's!!!!

**Pouncey**

crudcakes wrote:Daemon prince beaten to death by a dreadnought with no arms Stupid 's!!!!

So... the Daemon Prince tried to crush the beer can on his forehead, but the beer can fought back?

I once had to make dangerous terrain rolls for my Seraphim with the Witch Hunters dex, just before the current dex came out. I believe it was Celestine in a group with 6 Seraphim. 4, maybe 5 Seraphim rolled 1s.

**SagesStone**

Any Rhino in my SoB army whenever I didn't take dozer blade and went through terrain...
They move 1", they're a bunker for the rest of the game.

**Spanish Birdman**

Turn 1: Shokk rolls double 2s and kills 3/5 of my nobz.
Turn 2: Shokk rolls double 1s and explodes.
Did I mention this was my first game?

**crudcakes**

Pouncey wrote:
crudcakes wrote:Daemon prince beaten to death by a dreadnought with no arms Stupid 's!!!!

So... the Daemon Prince tried to crush the beer can on his forehead, but the beer can fought back?

beer cans are vicious! people just don't know.

**Small, Far Away**

A guardsman fires a flamer at my 5-man Space Wolf squad. 3 die.

That's around a 1 in 216 chance. I think.