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Forewarning: this is a copy-pasta from my facebook account.

I am sickened and disgusted by my Canadian and American friends and neighbors. Each year at their christmas celebration they mention this fat man in the red suit and tell their children that he is the bringer of gifts. How could you people let this happen? Do you not see that by permitting our children to learn of Santa Clause you are handing them wholeheartedly over to communism? Lets take a look at the fat commie bastard.

We can all without a doubt agree that he is a powerful man. And what do powerful men have? Wealth, lots of it. It is the product of their life's labor and thus justifiably earned. Thus powerful men drive fancy cars, like Mercedes, Lamborghini, lets say BMW, Aston Martin, etc. And what does that communist scum own? A SLEIGH! It's not even like one of those old Ford's where the carriage has a motor built into it, no, this one is pulled by animals. And how much more communist can you get than by neglecting all innovative development?

On this second point, it should be more obvious. The unholy twisted tide of communism can be seen in the ubiquity of their favorite color: red. And here we have Santa Clause covered in it. Lets face it, the jolly red man's outfit is robust enough for the north pole, so where else is it robust for? SIBERIA! I bet you people didn't stop to think of that! This is not mere co-incidence!



Is it strange that the Red bastard just happens to have Marx's Beard? The resemblance is uncanny. This is no longer any sort of co-incidence, rather clear evidence establishing the fact that Clause wishes to make himself more like the mercifully dead arch-communist Karl Marx, not only in thought and deed, but by appearance too.



Lets further consider what it is that dirty Red Commie does. He brings Gifts to children. Let us be clear on this now, these gifts are given for a reason. Good manners, Honesty, kindness to Brothers and Sisters(terms which share a great degree of ubiquity among the Red Conspirators) and to Help Others! Let's face it. If one of your idiot snit employees feths up, you are not going to be kind to them. You will chew the piss out of them and fire their sorry ass for wasting your money. You are looking after yourself and to maximize your gains while minimizing your costs. Santa does not appear to teach this. He wants your child to share and help others--unrewarded! This is near the core of the Commie principle! How in the feth do you people not see this? The way forward in business is not to be honest with your competitors either, and here we teach our children wrong by making them reveal all their secrets. To what end? It's impossible to get ahead of the others if they have all the dirt on you. No, you need to teach your kid to lie scam and manipulate to get ahead of his peers in this world. More evidence that Santa Clause is the product of a communist conspiracy. Further to the point, all children get toys, and more or less the same ones. Rich or poor, old or young, healthy or sick, all children get the same toys--much like each dirty Soviet scumbag Russian gets the same of everything. And what about this cookies and milk bs? Not only does the child have to behave himself, but pay to get his gift? Sure, sure, its only a symbol of appreciation, but look to the Red countries and you will see them performing this self-same giving of favors and honors to their so-called 'heroes' and 'leaders'.

If you are still not convinced, then this final argument should prove your salvation. If it doesn't, then you have already been taken by the Red Tide, and you are a traitor to our country. Who makes all of Santa's toys with which he takes our own children and future from us? Why Elves of course! We already know this! But lets think about this. Build toys is all they EVER do--they do it year-round! Day in day out they work and work at making toys, and there is no chance for advancement. And since the jolly fat Red Man takes after Marx, it should come as fairly obvious that the Elves are unionized. The socialist conspiracy stems from the very core of this man's ideals, an abomination on free enterprise and human endeavor and we permit this scum to parade about on Christmas?

This man is taking away the spirituality of christmas. This much has already been known but it should now strike as obvious why he sucks the spirituality out of it--to make our children more like those of the faithless damned dirty red Communists. It's all small incremental steps that he is trying to do this in. The biggest communist conspiracy prances about under our noses laughing us in the face and you all play along oh so nicely with these soviet machinations. Smarten up people! Grow a spine and stand up, and get the dirty red commie scum out of your house and out of your nation!

Even former communist countries recognize the threat! Here is a poster from the Czech Republic inviting people to visit a museum of communism to better educate their citizenry and keep the red tide where it belongs--at bay!

I know, tongue in cheek, but what made me laugh far more was the fact that you have a santa hat in your avatar.

Wow, you're good at this! That's one of the best satirical texts I've read in quite a while!

Haha very good

I certainly will be cementing up my chimney come Christmas eve, and letting out the guard dogs!

The only thing that makes this even more funny is the fact that there will be some out there that don't see it as satirical.

So many sad redneck children...

Christmas is not about Santa. It is about the birth of hope. Everything else is just flashy party favors.

Frazzled wrote:Christmas is not about Santa. It is about the birth of hope. Everything else is just flashy party favors.

I thought it was about giving our wiener dog overlords gifts so they don't kill us for another year?

The Days of Yule(The Holiday which is placed on the same time as Christmas for Asatruans) is about virtues and not about presents. That's what Christmas should be about.

Chowderhead wrote:

Frazzled wrote:Christmas is not about Santa. It is about the birth of hope. Everything else is just flashy party favors.

I thought it was about giving our wiener dog overlords gifts so they don't kill us for another year?

No thats a daily occurrence. We're more safe in the deep winter as The LEGION generally chooses to burrow under warm binkies with just their noses sticking out. They save the destruction of entire civilizations for the spring...mostly.

Oh yeah, I'm pulling this complete thing out of my ass because having read some right wing articles, they seemed too funny to be serious, even though I knew they were serious, so I figured I could one-up them without being serious.

Santa as an individual does not exist...
SANta the organisation however does...

On a side note, if yo ucan think of anything to add, I will include it, and give credit at the bottom of the "article".

Funny article and if I am reading the Russian Poster correctly, I like how the Museum of Communism is above the McDonald.