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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 00:52:31
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Nasty Nob on a Boar
Inside of a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT
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I am sure that for some, they just dont give a flaming feth, but every once in a while one of humanity's fails causes a shitstorm in the galaxy. So I was wondering what other races would call, for example, the Horus Heresy. What do y'all think?
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angel of ecstasy wrote:
You take a dump, you flip through the Dark Eldar codex, the concept art for Lelith Hesperax shows up and you pee on the floor.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 00:54:52
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
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That time the really bad man ferreted soup up.
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Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 01:00:27
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Nasty Nob on a Boar
Inside of a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT
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purplefood wrote:That time the really bad man ferreted soup up.
Imagining that in the DoW tau voice, so priceless
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angel of ecstasy wrote:
You take a dump, you flip through the Dark Eldar codex, the concept art for Lelith Hesperax shows up and you pee on the floor.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 04:02:14
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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The Eldar probably had some kind of vested interest in the Heresy, as a Chaos victory wouldn't have been good for them at all.
On the other hand, the Emperor's victory would have been bad as well as he was planning on invading the Webway with his legions of Astartes and Pariahs, the latter of which would have decimated the Eldar. His plan could have brought about the doom of the Eldar.
So me thinks the Heresy had the best possible outcome for them. No Chaos victory, the Emperor also taken care of. They probably rejoice it.
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This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2012/01/05 04:03:46
My Armies:
5,500pts
2,700pts
2,000pts
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 04:08:28
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Fireknife Shas'el
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Exactly as planed.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 04:18:25
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Nasty Nob
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Da 'Orus 'Eresy.
Wot's dat?
Da time when da sneaky git wiff da big power klaw wuz cunnin' an zogged da big golden humie and put him in da chairy-fing.
I doubt the orks would remember that much history, but I think they would give the Emperor some respect for creating the Space Marines (so the orks can kill them)
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 05:40:43
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Human Auxiliary to the Empire
Bork'an
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CuddlySquig wrote:Da 'Orus 'Eresy.
Wot's dat?
Da time when da sneaky git wiff da big power klaw wuz cunnin' an zogged da big golden humie and put him in da chairy-fing.
I doubt the orks would remember that much history, but I think they would give the Emperor some respect for creating the Space Marines (so the orks can kill them)
^^^^^^^^^ This, I lol'd so hard.
I could imagine Tau children sitting in a classroom (or however they are taught) with the teacher talking about human history. "And that's what happens when you don't follow the Greater Good"
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Bonded by Ta'Lissera
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 08:43:40
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus
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CuddlySquig wrote:Da 'Orus 'Eresy.
Wot's dat?
Da time when da sneaky git wiff da big power klaw wuz cunnin' an zogged da big golden humie and put him in da chairy-fing.
I doubt the orks would remember that much history, but I think they would give the Emperor some respect for creating the Space Marines (so the orks can kill them)
Exalted, Good Sir!
As for Chaos?
The Horus Heresy: The Great Time-Where-We-Almost-Won-But-Didn't-Quite-Get-Close-Enough-So-We-Had-To-Run-Like-Pansies
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/01/05 08:44:04
Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)
H.B.M.C. wrote:Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 08:48:12
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Nihilistic Necron Lord
The best State-Texas
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To the Necrons (Except Trazyn) I'm sure human history can be summed up in a single word. Insignificant.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 08:51:06
Subject: Re:What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Wrathful Warlord Titan Commander
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Humans got an avid collector of history and 'models', Trazyn.... he seems to like the range...
Orks live in the present and don't care for the past.
Eldar deem 'mon'keigh' not worthy and wouldn't consider anything of them important.
Necrons just wokee up...but we have one very interested Necron as shown above.
Tyranids only focus to assimilate the biomass. History of said biomass is irrelevant.
Chaos may have its own crazed view of history, as time passes differently. But they are warp-creatures..so may not count as xeno
Tau don't know gak about the rest of the galaxy.
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Target locked,ready to fire
In dedicatio imperatum ultra articulo mortis.
H.B.M.C :
We were wrong. It's not the 40k End Times. It's the Trademarkening.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 12:36:58
Subject: Re:What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Guard Heavy Weapon Crewman
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I know the orks cal their resent atack on cadia the ork "Croosade"
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 12:46:33
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Regular Dakkanaut
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Sasori wrote:To the Necrons (Except Trazyn) I'm sure human history can be summed up in a single word. Insignificant.
It's been mentioned already, but make that three for the Eldar :
Just as planned.
That is, since they started actually paying attention to those mud-dwelling mon-keigh.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 14:32:58
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Ancient Venerable Dreadnought
Thousand Sons Battleship wandering the galaxy...
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Harriticus wrote:The Eldar probably had some kind of vested interest in the Heresy, as a Chaos victory wouldn't have been good for them at all. On the other hand, the Emperor's victory would have been bad as well as he was planning on invading the Webway with his legions of Astartes and Pariahs, the latter of which would have decimated the Eldar. His plan could have brought about the doom of the Eldar. So me thinks the Heresy had the best possible outcome for them. No Chaos victory, the Emperor also taken care of. They probably rejoice it. Only delaying the inevitable...the Emperor is not reborn/resurrected, Mankind falls to Chaos, the Eye of Terror expands to cover the whole Imperium, damning the galaxy and everyone in it...the Emperor is reborn/resurrected and says "Just As Planned" before kicking EVERYONE'S asses, including the High Lords, Ecclesiarchy, Inquisition, Chaos and Xenos filth. Sasori wrote:To the Necrons (Except Trazyn) I'm sure human history can be summed up in a single word. Insignificant.
I get the feeling that Trazyn sees a resemblance between Mankind and the Necrontyr...two species seeking to supplant another, elder species, the Old Ones to the Necrontyr, and the Eldar to the Humans...probably sees Mankind walking down the same path; just as the Necrontyr sold their souls to the C'tan, the Humans would sell their souls to Chaos, and only at the end will they realize (just like the Necrontry did) that it was a horrific mistake. As Captain Kalliston of the Thousand Sons told Kharn: at the end, when you confront your choices, you will turn on and destroy the force (Chaos for Mankind, C'tan for Necrontyr) that sought to manipulate you for it's purposes.
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2012/01/05 14:38:38
I should have left him there. He had served his purpose. He owed me nothing - yet he gave himself to me willingly. Why? I know not. He is nothing more than a pathetic human. An inferior race. A mon-keigh. But still I broke off my wings so that I might carry him easier. I took him from that place, into the snowstorm where our tracks will not be found. He is heavy. And he is dying. And he is slowing me down. But I will save him. Why? I know not. He is still warm. I can feel his blood ebbing across me. For every beat of his heart, another, slight spill of heat. The heat blows away on the winter wind. His blood is still warm. But fading. And I have spilled scarlet myself. The snow laps greedily at our footsteps and our lifeblood, covering them without a trace as we fade away.
'She sat on the corner, gulping the soup down, uncaring of the heat of it. They had grown more watery as of late she noted, but she wasn't about to beggar food from the Imperials or the "Bearers of the Word." Tau, despite their faults at least didn't have a kill policy for her race.' |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 14:42:54
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Resolute Ultramarine Honor Guard
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Commander Ice Shade wrote:
I could imagine Tau children sitting in a classroom (or however they are taught) with the teacher talking about human history. "And that's what happens when you don't follow the Greater Good"
The Tau don't know much about Humanity, except for the stories they heard.
They don't actually believed that Imperium is a million worlds empire.
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For Emperor and Imperium!!!!
None shall stand against the Crusade of the Righteous!!!
Kanluwen wrote: "I like the Tau. I just don't like people misconstruing things to say that it means that they're somehow a huge galactic threat. They're not. They're a threat to the Imperium of Man like sharks are a threat to the US Army."
"Pain is temporary, honor is forever"
Emperor of Mankind:
"The day I have a sit-down with a pansy elf, magic mushroom, or commie frog is the day I put a bolt shell in my head."
in your name it shall be done"
My YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/2SSSR2
Viersche wrote:
Abadabadoobaddon wrote:
the Emperor might be the greatest psyker that ever lived, but he doesn't have the specialized training that a Grey Knight has. Also he doesn't have a Grey Knight's unshakable faith in the Emperor.
The Emperor doesn't have a GKs unshakable faith in the Emperor which is....basically himself?
Ronin wrote:
"Brother Coa (and the OP Tadashi) is like, the biggest IoM fanboy I can think of here. It's like he IS from the Imperium, sent back in time and across dimensions."
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 14:48:39
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Ancient Venerable Dreadnought
Thousand Sons Battleship wandering the galaxy...
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Or rather, if they even knew, they'd just say it's because the Humans didn't follow the Greater Good, or that the Emperor lacks the wisdom of the Ethereals. As if the Greater Good will stop Chaos...we tried something virtually identical with the Imperial Truth, look how that ended.
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I should have left him there. He had served his purpose. He owed me nothing - yet he gave himself to me willingly. Why? I know not. He is nothing more than a pathetic human. An inferior race. A mon-keigh. But still I broke off my wings so that I might carry him easier. I took him from that place, into the snowstorm where our tracks will not be found. He is heavy. And he is dying. And he is slowing me down. But I will save him. Why? I know not. He is still warm. I can feel his blood ebbing across me. For every beat of his heart, another, slight spill of heat. The heat blows away on the winter wind. His blood is still warm. But fading. And I have spilled scarlet myself. The snow laps greedily at our footsteps and our lifeblood, covering them without a trace as we fade away.
'She sat on the corner, gulping the soup down, uncaring of the heat of it. They had grown more watery as of late she noted, but she wasn't about to beggar food from the Imperials or the "Bearers of the Word." Tau, despite their faults at least didn't have a kill policy for her race.' |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 14:56:21
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Resolute Ultramarine Honor Guard
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Maybe Tau will have different luck then we, we were corruptible from the start. Tau, not so much.
I really wish for a true Imperium - Eldar - Tau alliance in the future...
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For Emperor and Imperium!!!!
None shall stand against the Crusade of the Righteous!!!
Kanluwen wrote: "I like the Tau. I just don't like people misconstruing things to say that it means that they're somehow a huge galactic threat. They're not. They're a threat to the Imperium of Man like sharks are a threat to the US Army."
"Pain is temporary, honor is forever"
Emperor of Mankind:
"The day I have a sit-down with a pansy elf, magic mushroom, or commie frog is the day I put a bolt shell in my head."
in your name it shall be done"
My YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/2SSSR2
Viersche wrote:
Abadabadoobaddon wrote:
the Emperor might be the greatest psyker that ever lived, but he doesn't have the specialized training that a Grey Knight has. Also he doesn't have a Grey Knight's unshakable faith in the Emperor.
The Emperor doesn't have a GKs unshakable faith in the Emperor which is....basically himself?
Ronin wrote:
"Brother Coa (and the OP Tadashi) is like, the biggest IoM fanboy I can think of here. It's like he IS from the Imperium, sent back in time and across dimensions."
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 15:01:07
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Ancient Venerable Dreadnought
Thousand Sons Battleship wandering the galaxy...
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Maybe when the Emperor comes back, with the Imperium the way it is now, it will never happen.
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I should have left him there. He had served his purpose. He owed me nothing - yet he gave himself to me willingly. Why? I know not. He is nothing more than a pathetic human. An inferior race. A mon-keigh. But still I broke off my wings so that I might carry him easier. I took him from that place, into the snowstorm where our tracks will not be found. He is heavy. And he is dying. And he is slowing me down. But I will save him. Why? I know not. He is still warm. I can feel his blood ebbing across me. For every beat of his heart, another, slight spill of heat. The heat blows away on the winter wind. His blood is still warm. But fading. And I have spilled scarlet myself. The snow laps greedily at our footsteps and our lifeblood, covering them without a trace as we fade away.
'She sat on the corner, gulping the soup down, uncaring of the heat of it. They had grown more watery as of late she noted, but she wasn't about to beggar food from the Imperials or the "Bearers of the Word." Tau, despite their faults at least didn't have a kill policy for her race.' |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 15:04:16
Subject: Re:What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Nasty Nob
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jelisi wrote:I know the orks cal their resent atack on cadia the ork "Croosade"
Da Green Kroosade.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 15:07:55
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Ancient Venerable Dreadnought
Thousand Sons Battleship wandering the galaxy...
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Orks...the ultimate survivor species...and quite probably the most barbaric of all species to walk the galaxy...and the most violent comic relief ever created.
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I should have left him there. He had served his purpose. He owed me nothing - yet he gave himself to me willingly. Why? I know not. He is nothing more than a pathetic human. An inferior race. A mon-keigh. But still I broke off my wings so that I might carry him easier. I took him from that place, into the snowstorm where our tracks will not be found. He is heavy. And he is dying. And he is slowing me down. But I will save him. Why? I know not. He is still warm. I can feel his blood ebbing across me. For every beat of his heart, another, slight spill of heat. The heat blows away on the winter wind. His blood is still warm. But fading. And I have spilled scarlet myself. The snow laps greedily at our footsteps and our lifeblood, covering them without a trace as we fade away.
'She sat on the corner, gulping the soup down, uncaring of the heat of it. They had grown more watery as of late she noted, but she wasn't about to beggar food from the Imperials or the "Bearers of the Word." Tau, despite their faults at least didn't have a kill policy for her race.' |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 15:57:37
Subject: Re:What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Battlewagon Driver with Charged Engine
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I always pictured those Orks who saw some fraction of the Great Crusade/Horus Heresy remembering, and passing stories of Da Great Big Beakie Warz down to the yoofs of their tribe, generation upon generation.
And it is partially those legends which, even today, inspire many a starry-eyed yoof to say to the older boyz, "When I growz up ta be da biggest, meanest, greenest Ork ov dem all, I'z gonna 'ave a bosspole wiff beakie headz ALL OVVA it!"
And the older boyz laugh, and fetch them a hefty whack on the head, and say, "Sure you iz, boy. Now go fight a face-eater squig or somefin, I'z busy!"
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 17:04:16
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Fireknife Shas'el
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Brother Coa wrote:Commander Ice Shade wrote:
I could imagine Tau children sitting in a classroom (or however they are taught) with the teacher talking about human history. "And that's what happens when you don't follow the Greater Good"
The Tau don't know much about Humanity, except for the stories they heard.
They don't actually believed that Imperium is a million worlds empire.
They no doubt have heard about the HH, but I bet they think it's a bed time story.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 18:07:27
Subject: Re:What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Nasty Nob
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"All roit! Lissen up! I'ma tell you all about da 'istory uv da imp'real humies, which we learned frum looting der booky-places, so sum 'uv it might be a squig off.
So a million-billion years ago da pansy ruled da stars. Yeah, I know, can yoo believe it? But den dey got too fancy fur der own good an dey got whacked ov'a da 'ead by da galixy wif a club da size 'uv a soopa nova. An somehow dat created da chaos git wot got da six boobies, but dat's anuver tale.
So wif dat, da 'ole stars got covured wif weird warp gribblies an stuff. Dis made da humies across da stars go feral and da boyz of old had a good laff smashing da humies' stuff. Da humies call dis de Age O' Strife. Dat was afore da Imp'reum.
So when da warp gribblies went back home into da warp, da humies on da humie homewurld called 'Urf was a-fighting. Den one golden humie became warboss of the whole planet. Dis golden humie, de Empror, decided he wanted to stomp da stars flat. So he built his own Waaagh. He got some nails an scrap metal and 'ammered together da first of da space marine boyz. He also built twenty nobs to bash dem into line, but two of dem was too small, so he strangled them when dey hatched. I'll list dem for yoo now.
Der was Liony Johny. Humie statues show he was a nutter who spent all his time balancing bird wings on his 'ead. One day some 'uv his gitz decided dey ain't gunna balance bird wings on der 'eads no more, so Johny zogged dem an got carried a way a grot an' zogged 'is wurld too. HAHAHA! Dat's why dem Dork Angel gitz got no wurld no mores.
Der was also 'Grim. 'E had long hair an dressed up all in pink and stuff like he's a humie lady or somefink. He got conned inna deal wif some daemon wot all locked up inna fancy choppa he looted.
Also wuz da Pertyraby guy 'o was more cold'n a gargant wot got no pilot. He liked ta smash stuff, but when he smashed 'is own wurld he went nuts fer sum reason.
Jaggy Khan was a warboss wot luved 'orsies. He woz fast as da kult of speed.
Russ woz good and proppa, wif choppas galore. Iz one weakness wuz 'e wasn't green an luved ta share a bed wif dogs.
Rogaly Dorn iz my favorite. Kuz 'e built great big ol castles and stuff an filled dem wif loot, all wot make good plundering for da orks.
Night Boy wuz a git. 'E tried to scare people by dressin 'im an his warband all up in skullz an bat stuff so dem wif da long hair'll get scared 'uv him getting caught in da long hair. Stoopid plan if ya ask me, but dat's wot humies find scary.
Next up is Sangwiny. He was half man, half seagull. HAHAHAHA! Wot dressed up in da armour covered in muscles and nipples to remind da uther boyz dat 'e was a humie and not a bird.
Ferry Many woz also one. He loved acting like he was killy, but he got stomped quick an bad by da girly nob 'Grim. Ferry Many woz so stoopid his choppa wuz a monkey wrench!
Um...who else? Oh yes, Angry. Angry wuz as angry as a squiggoth wot missed his breakfast. So da other humies called him Angry.
Rob Guy woz da bloo nob who, when da fightin' woz through, stole da Emporer's bosspole an said "ya lissen to me now"
Morty woz da smelly git who ne'va tooka bath. So 'e woz just like us. But 'e made a deal wif 'is own bad smell an became a daemon somehow.
Magnus da Weirdboy had his whole tribe trashed an looted because 'e woz using weirdboy powers instead'a being tough an killy like da uther boyz.
'Orus woz da rebel leader. Pictures uv 'im show he had lotsa power klaws. But such a puny noggin. All da humie nobs looked funny, but he looked da funniest.
Log'rar wuz da borin' boy. Gave speeches, ya know, da fings da humies love so much. But 'is speeches woz so long'n borin' dat dose who lissened up all keeled over, zogged ta deff by boredom.
Vulka woz da mekboy uv da humie nobs. He nailed togetha more gubbinz den wot a thousand mekz could do in a lifetime. But den 'e lost dem all. Musta been stoopid, dat one. So he charged 'is boyz to find dem all. Dat woz a million billion years ago. Der still lookin. HAHAHAHA!
Der woz also Cory da pasty. Iz mutha woz a kommando and iz fatha woz a mad dok. Cuz when he wuzn't sneaking, he woz takin' his boyz apart'n puttin dem back togetha to keep his warband from all dying.
Finally der woz Alphy an' Omy, or woz it Omy an' Alphy? Dey liked to lie to da uther boyz for a laff. I fink dey woz born with grot brains cuz dey loved to prank uther humies by trickin' dem into bowing 'afore normal boyz and treating dem like Alphy.
Now, where woz I? Oh yeah. Da warboss and his waaagh built wot would become da Imperium 'O Humies. So afta a bazillion good scraps frum one end'a da stars to da uther, da Emperor warboss decid'd 'e woz tired of being tough like an ork an felt like bein' sneaky like a grot. So he zogged off an hid back in 'Urf so he could smash metal togetha an' smile at hisself in da mirror. Den 'Orus looked at da utha nobz and says "Oy! Lissen up!" And dey woz like "ya?" And 'Orus says "Lets stomp da warboss an take his waaagh for us-self." An 'alf of da uther nobz said "sounds good." An so a great old scrap broke out as da humies zogged each other good and proppa. HAHAHAHa! It musta been a good fight den, cuz in da end, everybudy got stomped, even da nobz and da warboss Emperor, o' had to take a seat cuz he woz tired frum all da fighting. He's still restin' HAHAHAHA! So afta da survivin' rebel nobz wot zogged off an became da spiky boyz, da remaining Imperium boyz all looked to Rob. An Rob Guy says "Oi! Dis is stoopid! We space marine boyz only come in nine colours! We gotta come in a lot more colours!" Is a great mistery why dey did dat, but skolar boyz say it woz so when space marine boyz got zogged, da orks could 'ave a lotta different colours to choose from when takin' helmets as trophies. So wiff dat, da Impery 'O Humies as we knows it was born."
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 18:19:01
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Anti-Armour Swiss Guard
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From the eldar pov: The heresy was that other time when we tried to warn the mon'keigh but they would not listen.
"There are none so blind as those who WILL not see."
The emperor refused to believe his "children" could be so flawed and could not see how badly he was wrong.
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I'm OVER 50 (and so far over everyone's BS, too).
Old enough to know better, young enough to not give a ****.
That is not dead which can eternal lie ...
... and yet, with strange aeons, even death may die.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/05 21:23:25
Subject: Re:What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Nasty Nob on a Boar
Inside of a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT
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CuddlySquig wrote:"All roit! Lissen up! I'ma tell you all about da 'istory uv da imp'real humies, which we learned frum looting der booky-places, so sum 'uv it might be a squig off.
So a million-billion years ago da pansy ruled da stars. Yeah, I know, can yoo believe it? But den dey got too fancy fur der own good an dey got whacked ov'a da 'ead by da galixy wif a club da size 'uv a soopa nova. An somehow dat created da chaos git wot got da six boobies, but dat's anuver tale.
So wif dat, da 'ole stars got covured wif weird warp gribblies an stuff. Dis made da humies across da stars go feral and da boyz of old had a good laff smashing da humies' stuff. Da humies call dis de Age O' Strife. Dat was afore da Imp'reum.
So when da warp gribblies went back home into da warp, da humies on da humie homewurld called 'Urf was a-fighting. Den one golden humie became warboss of the whole planet. Dis golden humie, de Empror, decided he wanted to stomp da stars flat. So he built his own Waaagh. He got some nails an scrap metal and 'ammered together da first of da space marine boyz. He also built twenty nobs to bash dem into line, but two of dem was too small, so he strangled them when dey hatched. I'll list dem for yoo now.
Der was Liony Johny. Humie statues show he was a nutter who spent all his time balancing bird wings on his 'ead. One day some 'uv his gitz decided dey ain't gunna balance bird wings on der 'eads no more, so Johny zogged dem an got carried a way a grot an' zogged 'is wurld too. HAHAHA! Dat's why dem Dork Angel gitz got no wurld no mores.
Der was also 'Grim. 'E had long hair an dressed up all in pink and stuff like he's a humie lady or somefink. He got conned inna deal wif some daemon wot all locked up inna fancy choppa he looted.
Also wuz da Pertyraby guy 'o was more cold'n a gargant wot got no pilot. He liked ta smash stuff, but when he smashed 'is own wurld he went nuts fer sum reason.
Jaggy Khan was a warboss wot luved 'orsies. He woz fast as da kult of speed.
Russ woz good and proppa, wif choppas galore. Iz one weakness wuz 'e wasn't green an luved ta share a bed wif dogs.
Rogaly Dorn iz my favorite. Kuz 'e built great big ol castles and stuff an filled dem wif loot, all wot make good plundering for da orks.
Night Boy wuz a git. 'E tried to scare people by dressin 'im an his warband all up in skullz an bat stuff so dem wif da long hair'll get scared 'uv him getting caught in da long hair. Stoopid plan if ya ask me, but dat's wot humies find scary.
Next up is Sangwiny. He was half man, half seagull. HAHAHAHA! Wot dressed up in da armour covered in muscles and nipples to remind da uther boyz dat 'e was a humie and not a bird.
Ferry Many woz also one. He loved acting like he was killy, but he got stomped quick an bad by da girly nob 'Grim. Ferry Many woz so stoopid his choppa wuz a monkey wrench!
Um...who else? Oh yes, Angry. Angry wuz as angry as a squiggoth wot missed his breakfast. So da other humies called him Angry.
Rob Guy woz da bloo nob who, when da fightin' woz through, stole da Emporer's bosspole an said "ya lissen to me now"
Morty woz da smelly git who ne'va tooka bath. So 'e woz just like us. But 'e made a deal wif 'is own bad smell an became a daemon somehow.
Magnus da Weirdboy had his whole tribe trashed an looted because 'e woz using weirdboy powers instead'a being tough an killy like da uther boyz.
'Orus woz da rebel leader. Pictures uv 'im show he had lotsa power klaws. But such a puny noggin. All da humie nobs looked funny, but he looked da funniest.
Log'rar wuz da borin' boy. Gave speeches, ya know, da fings da humies love so much. But 'is speeches woz so long'n borin' dat dose who lissened up all keeled over, zogged ta deff by boredom.
Vulka woz da mekboy uv da humie nobs. He nailed togetha more gubbinz den wot a thousand mekz could do in a lifetime. But den 'e lost dem all. Musta been stoopid, dat one. So he charged 'is boyz to find dem all. Dat woz a million billion years ago. Der still lookin. HAHAHAHA!
Der woz also Cory da pasty. Iz mutha woz a kommando and iz fatha woz a mad dok. Cuz when he wuzn't sneaking, he woz takin' his boyz apart'n puttin dem back togetha to keep his warband from all dying.
Finally der woz Alphy an' Omy, or woz it Omy an' Alphy? Dey liked to lie to da uther boyz for a laff. I fink dey woz born with grot brains cuz dey loved to prank uther humies by trickin' dem into bowing 'afore normal boyz and treating dem like Alphy.
Now, where woz I? Oh yeah. Da warboss and his waaagh built wot would become da Imperium 'O Humies. So afta a bazillion good scraps frum one end'a da stars to da uther, da Emperor warboss decid'd 'e woz tired of being tough like an ork an felt like bein' sneaky like a grot. So he zogged off an hid back in 'Urf so he could smash metal togetha an' smile at hisself in da mirror. Den 'Orus looked at da utha nobz and says "Oy! Lissen up!" And dey woz like "ya?" And 'Orus says "Lets stomp da warboss an take his waaagh for us-self." An 'alf of da uther nobz said "sounds good." An so a great old scrap broke out as da humies zogged each other good and proppa. HAHAHAHa! It musta been a good fight den, cuz in da end, everybudy got stomped, even da nobz and da warboss Emperor, o' had to take a seat cuz he woz tired frum all da fighting. He's still restin' HAHAHAHA! So afta da survivin' rebel nobz wot zogged off an became da spiky boyz, da remaining Imperium boyz all looked to Rob. An Rob Guy says "Oi! Dis is stoopid! We space marine boyz only come in nine colours! We gotta come in a lot more colours!" Is a great mistery why dey did dat, but skolar boyz say it woz so when space marine boyz got zogged, da orks could 'ave a lotta different colours to choose from when takin' helmets as trophies. So wiff dat, da Impery 'O Humies as we knows it was born."
This is the Orkiest bit of Orky whooliganism I have ever seen. Well done, quite well done
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angel of ecstasy wrote:
You take a dump, you flip through the Dark Eldar codex, the concept art for Lelith Hesperax shows up and you pee on the floor.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/06 02:08:23
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Sinewy Scourge
Lawrence, KS
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What do Xenos call important days for the Imperium? I dunno... Tuesday?
I prefer to think that Farseers realized that the only "good" outcome for them would be the one that occurred. So a very small strike force of Eldar managed to sneak on board Horus' cruiser and sabotage his void shields...
I am assuming you are meaning the sort of thing where in American History, Civil War battles were named different things based on who recorded the fight, like Bull Run/Manassas, etc.
Eldar would likely refer to those fights in a way that discusses how they affected Eldar. So the fall of Sancuary 101 would be "The first reawakening of the hated Necrons" or the fall of a certain Imperial planet to the Tyranids might be "The consumption of a former Maidenworld by the swarm." A fight where they may have sent in a small strike force to affect the outcome would be referred to by the intended target of the action. Orks versus IG might be "The halting of Imperial expansion at Cordova III by Ork Waaugh"
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Therion wrote:6th edition lands on June 23rd!
Good news. This is the best time in the hobby. Full of promise. GW lets us down each time and we know it but secretly we're hoping that this is the edition that GW gives us a balanced game that can also be played competitively at tournaments. I'm loving it.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/06 02:11:13
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Automated Rubric Marine of Tzeentch
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The Horus Heresy to Eldar is probably like:
The recent thing when some guy betrayed another guy and made humans even weaker than they were before- Heresy.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/06 02:47:41
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Nasty Nob on a Boar
Inside of a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT
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I actually think that the Eldar would actually take the heresy fairly seriously. Obviously they arent running around shouting about it, but I would think that they would take notes, seeing as how it affected them too
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angel of ecstasy wrote:
You take a dump, you flip through the Dark Eldar codex, the concept art for Lelith Hesperax shows up and you pee on the floor.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/06 03:12:47
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Ancient Venerable Dreadnought
Thousand Sons Battleship wandering the galaxy...
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Yeah, since it would probably either just postpone Mankind's ascendance, or postpone Chaos' ultimate victory.
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I should have left him there. He had served his purpose. He owed me nothing - yet he gave himself to me willingly. Why? I know not. He is nothing more than a pathetic human. An inferior race. A mon-keigh. But still I broke off my wings so that I might carry him easier. I took him from that place, into the snowstorm where our tracks will not be found. He is heavy. And he is dying. And he is slowing me down. But I will save him. Why? I know not. He is still warm. I can feel his blood ebbing across me. For every beat of his heart, another, slight spill of heat. The heat blows away on the winter wind. His blood is still warm. But fading. And I have spilled scarlet myself. The snow laps greedily at our footsteps and our lifeblood, covering them without a trace as we fade away.
'She sat on the corner, gulping the soup down, uncaring of the heat of it. They had grown more watery as of late she noted, but she wasn't about to beggar food from the Imperials or the "Bearers of the Word." Tau, despite their faults at least didn't have a kill policy for her race.' |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/06 03:19:59
Subject: Re:What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine
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Humans-Horus Heresy
Explanation: Duh.
Orks-Da Horsy Horsy
Explanation: The Ork Language is just a distorted version of the human one.
Eldar-The Mon-keigh Fall
Explanation: It's sophisticated and shizzle, just like the Eldar.
Dark Eldar-Huh?
Explanation: As Daemon enslaved pleasure seeking BDSM loving slave owning crazies, they didn't pay attention in history class.
Tau-Humanities' Folly Chapter Five Part Six Index 2
Explanation: Tau like organization and pointing out humanity's folly.
Daemons-Muwahahhahahahhahahaha!
Explanation: Most Daemons are jerks.
Chaos Space Marines-Horus Heresy
Explanation: Same as humanity.
Tyrands-Buzz buzz, chirp chirp, om nom nom
Explanation: Tyranids don't care about history.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2012/01/06 03:25:20
Subject: What do Xenos call important points in imperial history?
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Nasty Nob on a Boar
Inside of a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT
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Do the orks care about history more then DE?
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angel of ecstasy wrote:
You take a dump, you flip through the Dark Eldar codex, the concept art for Lelith Hesperax shows up and you pee on the floor.
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