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At a time when our politicians tend to apologise for our country's prior actions, here's a refresher on how some of our former patriots handled negative comments about our country.

-JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible. Rusk responded "Does that include those who are buried here?" DeGaulle did not respond.

-When in England, at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of 'empire building' by George Bush. He answered by saying "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return".

-There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying, "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?" A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people, they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities, they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships... how many does France have?"

-A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the US, English, Canadian, Australian and French navies At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?" Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied "Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German".

-Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready". The American said "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it". "Impossible. Americans always have to show their passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show my passport to".

Hah! I love these kinds of snappy come back lines!

I'll play but most of mine are aviation related:
In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility, all
aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defense
Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting Iranian airspace.
The following conversation was heard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz.
Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
US Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace
we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
US Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up,………I'll wait.'
Air Defense Radar: (total silence)

Air Force One was over the UK a few years ago and called up a USAF base. This, allegedly, was part of the exchange.
Pilot: "Requesting Radar".
ATC: "What is you position?"
Pilot: :"You got radar you find us"
ATC: "Air Force One we're changing frequency"
Pilot: "What frequency are you changing to?"
ATC: "You've got 720 channels - you find us!"

There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter pilot that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach"

Lufthansa Pilot to co-pilot, forgetting that the frequency was open: "We used to come up the Thames, and turn over here for the docks...."
Voice on frequency: "ACHTUNG SPITFEUER!!!"

A two-engine F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The message to the B-52 crew was, "Anything you can do, I can do better."
Not to be outdone, the bomber pilot announced that he would rise to the challenge. However, the B-52 then only continued its flight, straight and level. Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked, "So? What did you do?"
"We just shut down two engines, my co-pilot made a sandwich, and I'm going to head to the back and grab some coffee."

A Pan Am 727 flight engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German aeroplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between Cs and Ds, but get it right!"
Continuing her tirade to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God, you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally the ground control frequency went terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state.
Tension in every cockpit at LGA was running high. Then an unknown pilot broke the silence and asked: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign "Speedbird 206":
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, haff you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but I didn't stop."




SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul reported one exchange. His SR-71 was screaming across Southern California, 13 miles high and its crew were monitoring cockpit chatter as they entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control the SR-71, LA monitored its movement across their scope. The SR-71 crew heard a Cessna ask for a readout of groundspeed.
"90 knots" Center replied.
Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same.
"120 knots," Center answered.
An F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests groundspeed readout."
Center (after a slight pause): "525 knots on the ground, Dusty".
The SR-71 realised how ripe a situation this was for one-upmanship: "Center, Aspen 20, you got a groundspeed readout for us?"
Center (after a longer than normal pause): "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots"
I think it was the forty-two knots that I liked the best, so accurate and proud was Center to deliver that information without hesitation, and you just knew he was smiling. But the precise point at which I knew that Walt and I were going to be really good friends for a long time was when he keyed the mic once again to say, in his most fighter-pilot-like voice:
Ah, Center, much thanks,We're showing closer to nineteen hundred on the money.

For a moment Walter was a god. And we finally heard a little crack in the armor of the HoustonCentervoice, when L.A.came back with,

Roger that Aspen,Your equipment is probably more accurate than ours.You boys have a good one.
No further groundspeed inquiries were heard on that frequency.
(if your interested in more than just the anecdote Brian Shul has some fantastic stories about SR71s that are pretty easy to find on the internet.)

not quite in the same vien...but anecdotal non the less. Aviation gripesheets are twice as good.

Lordhat wrote:At a time when our politicians tend to apologise for our country's prior actions, here's a refresher on how some of our former patriots handled negative comments about our country.

At a what when what the what?

You know, people have been complaining about their politicians apologising for their nations actions since forever. I mean, your first anecdote was about JFK. Do you know the gak JFK copped in America for being weak to other nations?

I mean, these a good anecdotes, and while they're probably not true they're still funny, so why ruin it by attaching the 'oh back in the day when politicians didn't apologise' bit?

Just Copy-pasted. Cool off a bit.

AustonT wrote:I'll play but most of mine are aviation related:
In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility, all
aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defense
Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting Iranian airspace.
The following conversation was heard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz.
Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'

You chopped this one up and put the rest after most of the other stories. It'd be good to fix it because its an awesome anecdote.

sebster wrote:

AustonT wrote:I'll play but most of mine are aviation related:
In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility, all
aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defense
Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting Iranian airspace.
The following conversation was heard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz.
Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'

You chopped this one up and put the rest after most of the other stories. It'd be good to fix it because its an awesome anecdote.

Fixed:
In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility, all
aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defense
Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting Iranian airspace.
The following conversation was heard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz.
Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
US Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace
we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
US Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up,………I'll wait.'
Air Defense Radar: (total silence)

good catch. Fixed

I always loved this story about Andrew Jackson

Shortly after Jackson first arrived in Nashville in 1788, he lived as a boarder with Rachel Stockley Donelson, the widow of John Donelson. Here Jackson became acquainted with their daughter, Rachel Donelson Robards. At the time, Rachel Robards was in an unhappy marriage with Captain Lewis Robards, a man subject to irrational[dubious – discuss] fits of jealous rage. Due to Lewis Robards' temperament, the two were separated in 1790. According to Jackson, he married Rachel after hearing that Robards had obtained a divorce. However, the divorce had never been completed, making Rachel's marriage to Jackson technically bigamous and therefore invalid. After the divorce was officially completed, Rachel and Jackson remarried in 1794.[55] To complicate matters further, evidence shows that Donelson had been living with Jackson and referred to herself as Mrs. Jackson before the petition for divorce was ever made.[56] It was not uncommon on the frontier for relationships to be formed and dissolved unofficially, as long as they were recognized by the community.

The controversy surrounding their marriage remained a sore point for Jackson, who deeply resented attacks on his wife’s honor. With his anger over attacks about Rachel, and his participation in violent confrontations, Jackson gained a reputation as a quarrelsome and vengeful man.[57] By May 1806, Charles Dickinson had published an attack on Jackson in the local newspaper, and it resulted in a written challenge from Jackson to a duel. In the duel, Dickinson shot Jackson in the ribs before Jackson returned the fatal shot; Since Dickinson was considered an expert shot, Jackson and his friend, Thomas Overton, determined it would be best to let Dickinson turn and fire first, hoping that his aim might be spoiled in his quickness. Jackson would wait and take careful aim at Dickinson. Dickinson did fire first, hitting Jackson in the chest. Under the rules of dueling, Dickinson had to remain still as Jackson took aim and shot and killed him. However, the bullet that struck Jackson was so close to his heart that it could never be safely removed. Jackson had been wounded so frequently in duels that it was said he "rattled like a bag of marbles."[58] Jackson’s reputation suffered greatly from the duel.

That story isnt really funny at all...

I thought the requirement was awesome, not funny, and a man deliberately taking a bullet to the chest so he can murder his enemy is fairly awesome.

In all honesty, you can put Jacksons entire life story on here, and it would all be fething awesome. Im a huge fan of Jackson, the man is one of few real, honest, American heroes

I am unfortunately in work so I can't link it, but check Badass of the Week - and lose several hours reading about awesome badasses

in the vein of one upmanship: I am at work and here is the link:

http://badassoftheweek.com/

Sonophos wrote:in the vein of one upmanship: I am at work and here is the link:

http://badassoftheweek.com/

You got me this time

But if you want truly badass I nominate my other half.

Our son is and has been since birth in the 97th percentile for head circumference and was born at 9lbs 10oz.

KingCracker wrote:In all honesty, you can put Jacksons entire life story on here, and it would all be fething awesome. Im a huge fan of Jackson, the man is one of few real, honest, American heroes

Besides killing thousands of Native Americans for gold of course. Actually wait, that's an extremely American thing to do. But I'm not quite sure if its heroic.

LoneLictor wrote:

KingCracker wrote:In all honesty, you can put Jacksons entire life story on here, and it would all be fething awesome. Im a huge fan of Jackson, the man is one of few real, honest, American heroes

Besides killing thousands of Native Americans for gold of course. Actually wait, that's an extremely American thing to do. But I'm not quite sure if its heroic.

Read the Badass of the Week article on him, the guy who writes it has the same issue. Yeah, he was a douchebag to the Native Americans, but you can be a badass and a douchebag at the same time...

Love yours Hat. I'm always up for a good laugh at the France's expense (No offense any French users, just good old fun )

Gotta say though this one had me breaking up for a good five minutes:

Lufthansa Pilot to co-pilot, forgetting that the frequency was open: "We used to come up the Thames, and turn over here for the docks...."
Voice on frequency: "ACHTUNG SPITFEUER!!!"

LoneLictor wrote:

KingCracker wrote:In all honesty, you can put Jacksons entire life story on here, and it would all be fething awesome. Im a huge fan of Jackson, the man is one of few real, honest, American heroes

Besides killing thousands of Native Americans for gold of course. Actually wait, that's an extremely American thing to do. But I'm not quite sure if its heroic.

Up until then it actually wasn't that American of a thing to do. It is strange to watch the evolution of policy towards Natives. At first you have letters between Knox and Washington talking about taking seriously the attempts to live peaceably with the natives, up to having to send troops to stop settlers from breaking treaties. By the time you get to Jackson he is "feth them and feth the Constitution! I want that land and they aren't really people anyway".

feth Jackson, he was an donkey-cave, and not just for the Trail of Tears, but that is a pretty good reason to dislike him by itself.