Now this is what I call conflict resolution!

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**Frazzled**

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2138259/Neighbours-war-Bloody-chainsaw-battle-sees-mans-arm-severed--anothers-finger-chopped-SAMURAI-sword.html

Bloody battle between neighbours sees man's arm almost severed with a chain saw... and another's finger chopped off with a SAMURAI sword
By Richard Shears

In a bloody battle between two warring neighbours in Australia today, one man's arm was almost severed with a chain saw, while another had a finger chopped off with a Samurai sword.
Surgeons were later trying to save the arm of the chain saw victim, Mark Jorgenson, 29, while his neighbour Troy Thornton, 26, was being treated after losing his finger to the Samurai sword.
Police who rushed to the small town of Minto, south west of Sydney, found pools of blood in the street and Mr Jorgenson crying in pain from his almost-severed arm.
Fight: Two neighbours battled each other with a chainsaw and samurai sword - ending with a severed arm and a chopped off finger
Detectives are investigating claims that after the two men argued over loud music and reckless driving, Mr Thornton went to Mr Jorgenson's house with the chain saw.

Mr Jorgenson grabbed the Japanese sword and the bloody battle began. Detective Chief Inspector Mark Brett described the result of the confrontation as 'horrific'.
He said: 'A chain saw is a serious weapon which inflicts pretty brutal injuries.

It's very disturbing…a chainsaw and a Samurai sword are serious weapons.' It is too early to say who'll be charged, he added.
After paramedics said that Mr Jorgenson's arm was so badly damaged that they believed it would have to be amputated, his father Laurie told Sydney's Daily Telegraph that the brawl with the next-door family started in the afternoon following complaints about noise.
Warring: The men were taken to hospital in an ambulance, and are now being treated for their wounds
Mr Thorton's mother, Wendy, confirmed that her son did wield the chain saw, but said he grabbed it to defend himself.
'They (the Jorgensen family) had machetes and bats and we had nothing so Troy grabbed the chain saw,' she said.
The two families agreed they had been involved in an ongoing war but Mr Jorgensen said sorting it out with a chain saw was extreme. 'Fists maybe, but this is just over the top,' he said.
Mr Thornton's family explained that he had been staying at the house to comfort his sister Nicole, who had recently lost her partner when his small boat overturned on a river.
Police said they had been called to Fenton Crescent, Minto, following reports a person armed with a chain saw had entered a house.
Forensic officers set up a crime scene as detectives began interviewing both families at length.
Chainsaws are powerful cutting machines that can be powered by a two-stroke motor, electricity, compressed air or hydraulic power. They are used mostly for felling trees and lopping thick branches.
The cutting part of the oblong-shaped device consists of a chain with small sharp cutting teeth. Some specialised machines are used to cut through concrete.
Many companies insist that operators should be certified or licensed to work with chain saws.
The terror that chain saws can bring when used against people was emphasised in the 1974 movie The Texas Chain Saw Massacre - considered so horrific that it was banned in several countries.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2138259/Neighbours-war-Bloody-chainsaw-battle-sees-mans-arm-severed--anothers-finger-chopped-SAMURAI-sword.html#ixzz1tjXjBAYs

**sirlynchmob**

did the kid with the chainsaw scream waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh?

**purplefood**

NOT QUITE FATALITY!

**Ma55ter_fett**

purplefood wrote:NOT QUITE FATALITY!

NOT QUITE NINJA!

**frgsinwntr**

hmmm a chain sword....

**J-Roc77**

Pretty awesome. I would have loved to be there seeing a man with a chainsaw square off with against a man with a sword.

I find it interesting that they actually explain what a chainsaw is in the article, not to common I guess in the UK?

Tangent...
We (the wife and my in-laws) had a garage sale some years ago where I sold some of my swords along with a bunch of sale stuff (clothes, baby stuff etc.). The wife and family laughed thinking I would not sell them due to the price I put (75 bucks each) and that they were swords. They were among the first things to go, no haggling or pretending they were only passingly curious from the buyers. A couple guys saw them and ponied up the cash with excitement a few people asked if I had any more to sell after seeing people leave with them. I guess if your other drags you to a yard sale you are not expecting to see cool things. Best garage sale ever? My garage is still full of the stuff my wife and in-laws could not sell.

**purplefood**

Ma55ter_fett wrote:
purplefood wrote:NOT QUITE FATALITY!

NOT QUITE NINJA!

NOT QUITE NINJA FATALITY!

**biccat**

Moral of the story: don't bring a sword to a chainsaw fight.

**Ma55ter_fett**

J-Roc77 wrote:Pretty awesome. I would have loved to be there seeing a man with a chainsaw square off with against a man with a sword.

I find it interesting that they actually explain what a chainsaw is in the article, not to common I guess in the UK?

Tangent...
We (the wife and my in-laws) had a garage sale some years ago where I sold some of my swords along with a bunch of sale stuff (clothes, baby stuff etc.). The wife and family laughed thinking I would not sell them due to the price I put (75 bucks each) and that they were swords. They were among the first things to go, no haggling or pretending they were only passingly curious from the buyers. A couple guys saw them and ponied up the cash with excitement a few people asked if I had any more to sell after seeing people leave with them. I guess if your other drags you to a yard sale you are not expecting to see cool things. Best garage sale ever? My garage is still full of the stuff my wife and in-laws could not sell.

Swords make some dormant primeval part of a man’s brain go *click* and he starts thinking things like “I could totally take on a T-Rex” or “Wait till fether Adam at the office sees me with this, HAHA *swing* *chop!*
Or in this case it causes a man to rip his shirt a little, showing more chest, before he ventures out into the street to do battle with a chainsaw welding nutcase.

**mattyrm**

Thing is, a chainsaw is way too heavy to swing at someone easily, if you had asked me before hand I would definitely have had my money on the guy with the samurai sword.

Id have lost it. Still, better money than an arm eh?

**Ma55ter_fett**

mattyrm wrote: Thing is, a chainsaw is way too heavy to swing at someone easily, if you had asked me before hand I would definitely have had my money on the guy with the samurai sword.

Id have lost it. Still, better money than an arm eh?

Maybe it was in a tight confined space?

Don't need to swing the chainsaw, just sort of poke them with it.

**generalgrog**

Been there done that..

GG

**Ma55ter_fett**

generalgrog wrote:Been there done that..

GG

I like the crowds reaction at the end.

"Well that was just uncalled for."

**Frazzled**

Ah Running Man, the original Hunger Games before it got all girlified.

**Trondheim**

Now this I would have payed to see, almost IG Vs Khorne bezerker. but only much more Australia

**kronk**

This is awesome.

**KingCracker**

Pretty fething epic. Thing is, Im surprised the saw didnt bind up on any clothing, must of been warm or something, because those things stop pretty quick when a sleeve or pant leg get in the way

**hotsauceman1**

As if i needed more reasons not to go down under.
But seriously, Who picks up a chainsay and thinks "This is going to be a great way to settle this dispute"

**KingCracker**

Who sees a guy obviously pissed off at them, WITH a chainsaw, and thinks "Yup, this $30 dollar sword should do the trick"

**Easy E**

KingCracker wrote:Pretty fething epic. Thing is, Im surprised the saw didnt bind up on any clothing, must of been warm or something, because those things stop pretty quick when a sleeve or pant leg get in the way

I would wager they were wearing wife beaters at the time, so no sleeves for the chainsaw to get bound up in.

Granted, this is sheer speculation.

**timetowaste85**

Why do I feel like the cops are kicking themselves for not being around with lawn chairs, buckets of popcorn and Australia's best beer in hand, while the female cop of the squad walks around in a bikini top holding a sign showing what round of the fight was going on. Yes, that was a sexist comment if anyone wants to bash me for it-I'll take the licks. Lol.

Best. Fight. Ever.

**Velour_Fog**

J-Roc77 wrote:
I find it interesting that they actually explain what a chainsaw is in the article, not to common I guess in the UK?

Nope, I found that part bizarre. Maybe they were trying to bump up the word count or something. If anyone over here said they didn't know what I chainsaw was I'd raise an eyebrow.

**chromedog**

Sadly, not that uncommon in that part of Sydney (South western suburbs)

Let me put it this way, if those suburban areas didn't have houses, they'd be (as our quaint American cousins put it) "trailer parks".

One of the reasons I try to avoid that part of Sydney unless I have to be there.

**warpcrafter**

I prefer more creative uses of the chainsaw.

**KingCracker**

Easy E wrote:
KingCracker wrote:Pretty fething epic. Thing is, Im surprised the saw didnt bind up on any clothing, must of been warm or something, because those things stop pretty quick when a sleeve or pant leg get in the way

I would wager they were wearing wife beaters at the time, so no sleeves for the chainsaw to get bound up in.

Granted, this is sheer speculation.

You are probably right, it was in Australia wasnt it? Last I checked its pretty fething warm down there

**Tazz Azrael**

warpcrafter wrote:

I prefer more creative uses of the chainsaw.

Ah good ol' Jackyl, that brings back some good memories from working in the pub and the head cheff would start blaring that and other various good bands.

And damn wish i could have seen that fight

**Kilkrazy**

J-Roc77 wrote:Pretty awesome. I would have loved to be there seeing a man with a chainsaw square off with against a man with a sword.

I find it interesting that they actually explain what a chainsaw is in the article, not to common I guess in the UK?

Tangent...
We (the wife and my in-laws) had a garage sale some years ago where I sold some of my swords along with a bunch of sale stuff (clothes, baby stuff etc.). The wife and family laughed thinking I would not sell them due to the price I put (75 bucks each) and that they were swords. They were among the first things to go, no haggling or pretending they were only passingly curious from the buyers. A couple guys saw them and ponied up the cash with excitement a few people asked if I had any more to sell after seeing people leave with them. I guess if your other drags you to a yard sale you are not expecting to see cool things. Best garage sale ever? My garage is still full of the stuff my wife and in-laws could not sell.

I think most people know what a chainsaw is. The subeditor probably needed to fill; up another column inch.

**Squigsquasher**

Samurai sword? SAMURAI SWORD!?!?

It's called a Katana, goddamnit!

**Hazardous Harry**

This is entirely uncalled for and, indeed, un-Australian. We have designated places for Chainsaw/Samurai Sword matches for a reason, and it was very irresponsible for these two to engage each other over this dispute without the requisite protective gear (as follows).

For the Claimant/Challenger.

For the Defendant/Respondent.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Squigsquasher wrote:Samurai sword? SAMURAI SWORD!?!?

It's called a Katana, goddamnit!

There are different makes of samurai swords, the most common being the katana.

**Frazzled**

Squigsquasher wrote:Samurai sword? SAMURAI SWORD!?!?

It's called a Katana, goddamnit!

We like to refer to it as "pigsticker" or "what the victim had instead of being properly armed."