Assault and Battery by French Fries

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**Archaeo**

Link

Do these fries look dangerous? (Richard Vogel/AP)James Hackett, 26, is facing a felony assault charge after allegedly throwing an order of "hot and oily" McDonald's french fries at his 11-year-old stepdaughter, according to a Lowell, Massachusetts, police report posted on The Smoking Gun.

Interestingly, the report states that the unnamed girl was not harmed in the incident but states the action "could cause burning to skin and eyes." What is surprising in the report is how much more mature the 11-year-old girl sounds than her mother and Hackett. After stopping by McDonald's, the couple were reportedly arguing about money in the car when the girl "began to interject into the argument in an attempt to get the two to stop fighting."

This was apparently too much for Hackett to handle, who then allegedly "picked up the container of french fries he had just purchased, which were hot and oily, and threw it at [the girl], striking her in the face and chest area."

After making it back home, Hackett reportedly "fled the residence on an old Honda motorcycle."

His wife then called the police, who tracked down Hackett and arrested him.

When Lowell Police Officer Richard Cesarz detained Hackett, The Smoking Gun reports that Hackett was informed "he was being charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon to wit french fry."

Hackett appeared in District Court on Monday and pleaded not guilty to the assault and battery count. He is currently free on bail and faces a pretrial conference on August 10.

If its accurate it looks like McDonalds made the news again. Not only can they make you fat you can also use them as hot, greasy weapon....type....things.

**IronWarLeg**

Mmmm, hot, delicious, greasy weapons..

*Insert pisture of Homer Simpson here*

~Iron

**hotsauceman1**

Well while stupid, I work ith fresh cooked frieds, and have some fall on my skin, or the oil jump into my eye and they hurt,

**SlaveToDorkness**

"Hot greasy weapon" huh, that's exactly what I call my...NM.

I am more amazed that the McD location serves fries hot. Mine always has them at closer tof a corpse-like temperature.

**SagesStone**

I'm equally amazed, I figured at their usual rate the salt and possibly crunchy sharp bits would have been more of a threat. Damn things seem to have more salt on them than the N&R section sometimes...

**IronWarLeg**

Yeah I was a fry cook at Red Lobster for my first job ever, where everything is fried or microwaved, and obviously crap that came out of the fryer was super hot for a few min, but if a few min went by since they bought them they would have cooled enough not to burn someone. If the circumstances were different, as in it wasnt an 11 year old he threw them at but a buddy or something, I would find that to be pretty funny.

**Kilkrazy**

He sounds like a complete jerk, throwing stuff at his daughter because she was trying to stop him arguing with his wife.

In my household we do things properly. The wife throws stuff at me.

**SagesStone**

Step daughter as well.

**SlaveToDorkness**

I wonder if she is red-headed?

**Ahtman**

This was still actually safer than eating the fries

or

Can you imagine the charges if he threw a Big Mac?

**Do_I_Not_Like_That**

I thought hot french fries was an urban myth.

**SlaveToDorkness**

Like proper English. lol

**Castiel**

Assaulted or a-salted?

**Coolyo294**

I wish someone would assault me with french fries...

**Cheesecat**

SlaveToDorkness wrote:I wonder if she is red-headed?

She was after the assault.

**snurl**

Coolyo294 wrote:I wish someone would assault me with french fries...

And a shake!

**Jihadin**

Damn...thinking fries now...malt vinegar....ketchup....

**Crazy_Carnifex**

SlaveToDorkness wrote:"Hot greasy weapon" huh, that's exactly what I call my...NM.

I am more amazed that the McD location serves fries hot. Mine always has them at closer tof a corpse-like temperature.

Corpses can be pretty hot. You just need to use a flamethrower/microwave to make 'em.

**deathholydeath**

That story made me want some french fries.

**Grimtuff**

Cheesecat wrote:
SlaveToDorkness wrote:I wonder if she is red-headed?

She was after the assault.

I never saw a mention of Ketchup...

**SlaveToDorkness**

Crazy_Carnifex wrote:

Corpses can be pretty hot.

Sicko.