Darwin Award Nominee: Don't Annoy the Tigers!

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**Frazzled**

Ancient Budha say: Man who breaks into the House of Cats wil get scratched.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2171984/Man-21-eaten-alive-tiger-enclosure-breaking-zoo-night-suspected-suicide.html

**olympia**

I've heard of people committing suicide by jumping into the Lion or Tiger enclosure.

**MadEdric**

Which is a shame, because the poor lion or tiger might be put down for fear it has aqquired the taste of human flesh.

**Grakmar**

olympia wrote:I've heard of people committing suicide by jumping into the Lion or Tiger or Bear (oh my!) enclosure.

Fixed that for you.

**SoloFalcon1138**

But this doesn't qualify as a Darwin award if he was committing suicide. The person has to die as a result of being stupid...

**LordofHats**

Well, he picked a rather painful way to go. Does that count?

**SoloFalcon1138**

No more painful than suicide by cop or drinking ones self to death.

**Frazzled**

I think the article notes a presumption it might be suicide. If you read between the lines its clearly: we can only think suicide because its so insanely stupid otherwise.

**Jihadin**

I agree...suicide by Toney shouldn't count. The guy did get creative on how he opted out.

**Kovnik Obama**

I can relate. I'm not suicidal one bit, but if I was to get going, I'd like for it to be something intense. I mean, he must have suffered, what, 20-30 seconds max? Probably even less if the neck bite was well done. Seeing a Big Fething Cat pounce at you before the end certainly beats seeing the hospital's ceiling.

Plus, you get to feed a cute cat once more before it's over! Bonus points in Heaven for altruism!

**Jihadin**

Still won't stop me from eating my frosted flakes

**Lord Rogukiel**

Jihadin wrote:Still won't stop me from eating my frosted flakes

Maybe he had frosted flakes that morning. Oh, the irony.

**Pacific**

Surely it must have been suicide? My first thought was that he may have been drunk (there was a similar story of a drunk guy in the UK climbing into a gorilla pen, and being egged on by his mates punched a gorilla in the face - the gorilla ripped his arms off), but it says he was an Afghan, so chances are if he was a practising Muslim then he wouldn't have been drinking?

I guess it was probably a quicker way to go than pills, and less selfish than throwing yourself in front of the subway..

I always thought the Darwin award was for the likes of that guy who attached a cruise missile to the roof of his car - nothing was heard from him again, and they found tyre marks on the road for 4 miles, which finished at the point the tyres disintegrated completely and the car left the ground

**Orlanth**

Pacific wrote:

I always thought the Darwin award was for the likes of that guy who attached a cruise missile to the roof of his car - nothing was heard from him again, and they found tyre marks on the road for 4 miles, which finished at the point the tyres disintegrated completely and the car left the ground

Which was a confirmed myth.

Darwin awards require a burden of proof and blind stupidity.

So if we know for sure he went in to cuddle the cute kitties then yes, if he went in to prove his manhood by doing something dangerous and lost then maybe but probably not, if he went in to end his life then no.

**Frazzled**

All I want to know is, did the tigers enjoy their manwhich?

**Steve steveson**

Just for those who don't know.

http://www.darwinawards.com/

A way to waste a whole afternnon at work.

Darwin awards are for people who remove themselves from the gene pool in stupid ways, sometimes through death, sometimes in other ways that I will leave for you to ponder.

**KingCracker**

SoloFalcon1138 wrote:No more painful than suicide by cop or drinking ones self to death.

Riiiiiiiiiiiight because being shot to death quickly, is DEFINITELY as painful as being torn apart by tigers slowly

**Jihadin**

So tempted to post tigger taking out roy....

**Kovnik Obama**

KingCracker wrote:
SoloFalcon1138 wrote:No more painful than suicide by cop or drinking ones self to death.

Riiiiiiiiiiiight because being shot to death quickly, is DEFINITELY as painful as being torn apart by tigers slowly

Have you seen the size of those fangs? One bite to the neck will crush your spine more effectively than any bullet a cop will fire at you. If getting pounced over by a 500 pounds tiger doesn't kill you on impact anyhow. Anything thay can kill an adult rhino or a buffalo with a neck bite will crush you in seconds

With small prey, the tiger bites the nape, often breaking the spinal cord, piercing the windpipe, or severing the jugular vein or common carotid artery.[75] Though rarely observed, some tigers have been recorded to kill prey by swiping with their paws, which are powerful enough to smash the skulls of domestic cattle,[69] and break the backs of sloth bears.

-Wiki

You also assume being shot means you die quickly. I doubt that's a constant.

**Grey Templar**

Well, Tigers can't kill Buffalo and Rhinos in one pounce(and Rhinos arn't anywhere near where Tigers are anyway) but yes a Tiger will kill you quickly. Not as quick as a well placed bullet, but quicker then a ill placed bullet.

**Kovnik Obama**

Grey Templar wrote:Well, Tigers can't kill Buffalo and Rhinos in one pounce(and Rhinos arn't anywhere near where Tigers are anyway) but yes a Tiger will kill you quickly. Not as quick as a well placed bullet, but quicker then a ill placed bullet.

Tigers have killed adult rhinos and buffalos, although I have no clue how they did it. Well buffalos I get, Rhinos, I'd pay to see that.

Adult elephants are too large to serve as common prey, but conflicts between tigers and elephants do sometimes take place. A case where a tiger killed an adult Indian Rhinoceros has been observed, although adult rhinoceros are often ignored due to being excessively large.[68] Young elephant and rhino calves are occasionally taken.

(...)

When hunting large prey, tigers prefer to bite the throat and use their forelimbs to hold onto the prey, bringing it to the ground. The tiger remains latched onto the neck until its prey dies of strangulation.[15] By this method, gaurs and water buffalos have been killed by tigers weighing about a sixth as much.[73] Although healthy adults of large bovids weighing at least 1,000 kg (2,200 lb) can and have been taken, tigers often select the calfs or infirm of very large species.

-Wiki, Tiger, Hunting and Diet.

Not all large predators would be as effective as tigers as far as opting out plans goes. I've heard of Kodiaks eating half the face of campers and then walking away as if suddenly bored. I'd put tiger's pretty high on the effective killer's list. I'd be tempted to put hyenas on there to, since they'll often start by eating your entire head, but if I had a choice I'd go with Tony, because a pouncing tiger is kinda cooler (IMO) as a last image then a pack of ugly fething half dog half cats...