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So I'm still fuming about yesterday. My boss and I were having a conversation about a intranet social media site that I'm building for the company. I wanted pages to be clean and only have the information on them that the page was specifically about. He found out that the framework we're using allows for sidebars for crap like calendars, comments on the page, rss feeds for whatever, and so on, so he demanded that I add those.

When I suggested that it would make for a too busy page that wouldn't look good on a fullscreen or lower resolution monitor, I was told that:

"You wouldn't get it because that's not the way your brain works... not that I think that's a bad thing. It's a good thing. Your brain lets you do things that I couldn't."

I think he thinks I'm rain man.

Anway, anyone else have any situations to share that made you just stare on in disbelief?

My boss is scatterbrained. I swear. He needs my class schedule so he knows when I can work. I give it to him. A ay later he calls
"I need your schedule" I print it. I get another call a week later "I lost your schedule, get me another one"

"Persians love high quality cutlery."

 daedalus wrote:
So I'm still fuming about yesterday. My boss and I were having a conversation about a intranet social media site that I'm building for the company. I wanted pages to be clean and only have the information on them that the page was specifically about. He found out that the framework we're using allows for sidebars for crap like calendars, comments on the page, rss feeds for whatever, and so on, so he demanded that I add those.

When I suggested that it would make for a too busy page that wouldn't look good on a fullscreen or lower resolution monitor, I was told that:

"You wouldn't get it because that's not the way your brain works... not that I think that's a bad thing. It's a good thing. Your brain lets you do things that I couldn't."

I think he thinks I'm rain man.

Anway, anyone else have any situations to share that made you just stare on in disbelief?

I am an Electronics and Computer Maintenance Technician.. I could sit here literally all day with the stupid stories my operators tell me on why their crap is broken. And usually, when I finally drag my butt over to their site, and plug their gak in, or turn it on, they look at me as if I'm einstein discovering Relativity.

My boss demanded I go down the street and buy him the "death of Spider-Man" issue from the comic store. He also called me up one day with the following greeting: "what up, mutha fetha!!" Last month he called two days before my friend's bachelor party to invite himself, not knowing where it was or even who my friend was. He also admitted to me yesterday that my attention to detail from building/painting warhammer models was a part of his reason for promoting me to assistant CEO of the company. The scary part is that all I have just said is 100% true.

My previous supervisor, now retired (thank God), was completely and utterly incompetent. Ever had one of those people who is so incompetent they actually obstruct your ability to do your job effectively? Yeah, that was him.

Anyway, one of the many stupid things he said when talking about selecting someone to fill an empty position was "people with degrees are smarter." Not quite realizing that almost all of the people he supervised didn't have degrees.

Oh, and another stupid thing he did? Registered the license plate on his personal car to the company address. That means that, after he retired, the toll road bills are coming to us with nice little "nonpayment" notices on the envelopes. We're waiting to see if his name pops up on the transit authority's list of shame later this year.

Cant forget "I want you to cook on the grill while he is gone"
leading too "Why isnt your other job done(cutting veggies), I dont care if you are swamped with orders, Now go work the register"

I'm the NCOIC...I'm entitled/expected so some crazy stuff

Way back when, I had a telemarketing job. Of course, they monitor your phone calls. This conversation ACTUALLY took place.

Boss: Why did you terminate that call earlier today?
Me: The old lady who answered it was obviously senile. She didn't even know what decade it was.
Boss: The workflow says you can't terminate the call until they turn you down three times. Did she do that?
Me: No...
Boss: So why did you terminate?
Me: Uh...she's senile? She'd agree to anything?
Boss: Then that should be a guaranteed sale!

My boss is an intelligent man and skilled manager of people. He offers great advice stemming from his years of experience and find him to be an inspiring model for my own career. He is human and I'm sure he has made mistakes, I just simply haven't been able to notice them as his positive qualities command too much attention. I think I lucked out being able to get such a great boss, I'm sorry to hear you guys haven't been so lucky.

Chongara wrote:
My boss is an intelligent man and skilled manager of people. He offers great advice stemming from his years of experience and find him to be an inspiring model for my own career. He is human and I'm sure he has made mistakes, I just simply haven't been able to notice them as his positive qualities command too much attention. I think I lucked out being able to get such a great boss, I'm sorry to hear you guys haven't been so lucky.

I actually was that lucky once, at another company. Unfortunately, he got so sick of the place that he left for greener pastures, leaving me to report to his sociopathic donkey-cave boss who was probably worse than my current one. I've noticed that among the traits of the best managers is the ability to shield your people from the bs coming down from on high enough that they actually have the ability to get their jobs done. I just have yet to find anyone who has been able to do that for an indefinite period of time.

Chongara wrote:
My boss is an intelligent man and skilled manager of people. He offers great advice stemming from his years of experience and find him to be an inspiring model for my own career. He is human and I'm sure he has made mistakes, I just simply haven't been able to notice them as his positive qualities command too much attention. I think I lucked out being able to get such a great boss, I'm sorry to hear you guys haven't been so lucky.

Haven't been lucky?? My boss promoted me because I play Warhammer. Who the hell has a better boss than that? Oh, and I don't work for GW. I work for a medical company.

 daedalus wrote:
So I'm still fuming about yesterday. My boss and I were having a conversation about a intranet social media site that I'm building for the company. I wanted pages to be clean and only have the information on them that the page was specifically about. He found out that the framework we're using allows for sidebars for crap like calendars, comments on the page, rss feeds for whatever, and so on, so he demanded that I add those.

When I suggested that it would make for a too busy page that wouldn't look good on a fullscreen or lower resolution monitor, I was told that:

"You wouldn't get it because that's not the way your brain works... not that I think that's a bad thing. It's a good thing. Your brain lets you do things that I couldn't."

I think he thinks I'm rain man.

Anway, anyone else have any situations to share that made you just stare on in disbelief?

As someone who does work in graphic design, I know this notion all too well.

More stuff does not necessarily mean good.

For one client I was designing a website for, I ended up asking for some links to websites he liked, so I could get an idea from where to start off as a jumping point. He said I'd just plagarize them, and refused to give any samples.

I put together a fantastic looking website, speaking from an artistic standpoint, one of the finest things I've ever designed. He shoots it down, saying that it's just a few lines and text.

I was appropriately furious.

 Fafnir wrote:

As someone who does work in graphic design, I know this notion all too well.

Well, the funniest thing is that they put me on this project in spite of the fact that I have no background in graphic design* and I'm colorblind.

They told me the first part didn't matter and they laughed at the second part, telling me it wouldn't matter. After they saw the initial result, they bitched about the colors and told me to change them.


* I'm actually halfway decent with GIMP, but I'm not letting them know that. I do programming and technical work, not graphic design. No sense in making this harder on me than it needs to be.

The sad thing is that the opinions of your bosses are kind of common. People think anyone can do design well, and don't expect to pay much for it either.

The truth is that it takes a considerable amount of talent and intuition, even the minimalist stuff, which can actually take more when you consider just how much thought is supposed to go into it.

So of course, when they end up just getting anyone who looks like they have the time on their hands to put something together, the results can be... questionable. I remember one time I was doing some volunteer work. I ended looking at some of the work done by someone obviously not at all versed in the field. Although unintentional, the poster they ended up using looked like a swastika. I wasn't sure what to say to the guys upstairs, so I just kept my mouth shut and laugh at it at every chance I get. I still have a photo on my phone which I use to show off just how bad bad design can be.

"You're doing a great job!"

'I just need to run that past the panthers and up the flagpole.'

To this day, no one has ever explained to me what that means.

'Can you put this banner up outside the shop' -
then my manager got annoyed because my response was 'No. There is a high wind, the airport ladders only reach 15ft and so I'd have to stand on the cage at the top - rather than in it which would mean I might fall off. And they're held together by sellotape.' (they actually were too - cross pieces had snapped and the previous warehouse guy had just put most of a roll round the ladders.)

Um... from my big boy job... "Hey Tom, tell Brandon I'd like to see him in my office." *sends email*.

"Hey Tom, send an email to the guys in the group seeing where they'd like to go for lunch." *sends email*

"Hey Tom, email Brandon and get the phone number of the building manager, I've got a light out in my office, and then forward that to me." *sends email* 5 minutes later "Hey Tom, where's that email?" "I told Brandon to send it to you, he must not have gotten to it yet." "Well, can you go double check?" *walks across the office to co-worker's cube.

From On the Lamb Games: Cyporeian via facebook: "Go yell at Misk to get the quickstart rules done." *yells at Misk via facebook all the while I'm thinking, "Isn't she closer to him than me?"

Not exactly my boss, but I was working on the debrief desk of a Fighter Squadron, where the aircrew come after flights to report problems with their aircraft.

The conversation went like this;

WSO; I have a problem with the IFF (Identify Friend/Foe)
Me; What's wrong with it?
WSO; It doesn't work in OFF mode.
Me; Certainly Sir, we'll have a look, would you mind signing the fault log.

At that point, as soon as the name is on the paperwork, it was off to the photocopier.

At that point the WSO realised what he'd just said.

 marv335 wrote:
Not exactly my boss, but I was working on the debrief desk of a Fighter Squadron, where the aircrew come after flights to report problems with their aircraft.

The conversation went like this;

WSO; I have a problem with the IFF (Identify Friend/Foe)
Me; What's wrong with it?
WSO; It doesn't work in OFF mode.
Me; Certainly Sir, we'll have a look, would you mind signing the fault log.

At that point, as soon as the name is on the paperwork, it was off to the photocopier.

At that point the WSO realised what he'd just said.

Got to love it in the maintenance world when you, with your high school education outsmart someone who is *so* much better educated than you are

Marv.......we can take over the thread putting down all the silly stuff our officers do


Coming back from a 9mm range
WO2 "Sure I know unload a 9mm. I was a grunt before being a pilot"
"POW"
Shoots the guy in front him in the ass entering inner right cheek and exit out near hip bone. Pure flesh wound. Round continues and smack into a M4 against the wall. Lower receive...Kaput

Now try to apply trauma bandages to a WO3 that's giving me direct orders to let him up so he can go kick the WO2 ass

"Shut the Hell up Sir your bothering me. Smitty sit on his ankles. You two hold his damn shoulder down. Shut up Sir your bleeding all over SGT Rapach floor Sir

"Wilk I'm going to kick your ass to"

"Applying point pressure into entry wound"

"JESUS &T^()&$^^(#))%&^!!!!!!!"

"All good Sir. Your boys are still hanging low"

"I'm so going to have your stripes Wilk you hear me!

"Quiet Sir and stop being a pansie"
Two trauma bandages on exit wound
"Hand me his wallet"

"WTF?"

"Sorry Sir have to use your wallet to apply pressure on the exit wound. Its a thick wallet due to a lot of $1's in it"

Then stood up all of a sudden and yell

"TIME"

Something about jews cutting holes in sheets to have sex... I dont know, I dont wanna know, its just something he says...

Most of my bosses have been really competent.

That or I never lreally listen to them anyway, so they can say lot's of batgak crazy stuff and I wouldn't know.

My boss is a complete moron who thinks she is important because she is the circulation manager of our university's library. I'm wholly convinced that they only keep her around because they would put her and her husband on the street if they fired her.

So what does she say?

My Wife used to work at a university, Her boss, while she was in the middle of an equal pay claim against the university, sent her an email saying that the university knew they were in the wrong and that she'd never prove it.
Unsurprisingly, she won the claim.

I work with a bunch of women. My boss is a woman. I was in a semi-annual review meeting and she's telling me about all the great work I do but she has one issue; one of my co-workers complained about my humorous exchanges with other co-workers. Nothing risque or off-color just jovial exchanges in the work-place.

My response, "I was unaware that anyone had a problem with humor in the office."

To which she said, "We don't but someone came to me about you."

I say, "No one has approached me with any concerns but since you are bringing this up I'll monitor my behavior in the workplace more closely and not join in with others when they are joking around."

She says, "That's fine. Did you happen to reflect on what you did to create this other person's concern."

*I pause a moment and replay what we just spoke about*

I state, "No ma'am, because as I stated before, no one has approached me with concerns so I wouldn't be able to self-reflect and modify my behavior accordingly."

*It finally hits her*

"Oh, well, just internalize this discussion and act appropriately."

"Yes, ma'am."

*I leave, shaking my head.*

Oh, My manager also hits on any girl that comes in.

I went to work outside once in a previous job. It was cold outside. Being slightly sarcastic, the first thing I said was
"Its warm out here"
Manager went "really?"
"no not really, I was being sarcastic. I'm just going to go and grab my fleece"
"But I thought you said you weren't cold?"

 agnosto wrote:
I work with a bunch of women. My boss is a woman. I was in a semi-annual review meeting and she's telling me about all the great work I do but she has one issue; one of my co-workers complained about my humorous exchanges with other co-workers. Nothing risque or off-color just jovial exchanges in the work-place.

My response, "I was unaware that anyone had a problem with humor in the office."

To which she said, "We don't but someone came to me about you."

I say, "No one has approached me with any concerns but since you are bringing this up I'll monitor my behavior in the workplace more closely and not join in with others when they are joking around."

She says, "That's fine. Did you happen to reflect on what you did to create this other person's concern."

*I pause a moment and replay what we just spoke about*

I state, "No ma'am, because as I stated before, no one has approached me with concerns so I wouldn't be able to self-reflect and modify my behavior accordingly."

*It finally hits her*

"Oh, well, just internalize this discussion and act appropriately."

"Yes, ma'am."

*I leave, shaking my head.*

I don't get it?

Speaking of technological incompetence, my mom's boss once asked me to find where the recycle bin on his computer. It was still on his desktop....