I feel like proper brush loading is, like thinning, more art than science. The latter also affects the former, as does the task at hand. My only real suggestion (aside from practice, ad nauseum) is to treat the two as an inextricably linked pair.
As you've seen, dilute paint soaks up readily into the bristles and is released just as easily - it's not difficult to flood an area and cause runs. If your lines are becoming thick and blotchy, lay a few down as practice, paying close attention to what exactly is happening at the point of contact. Is paint only going where bristles touch? You may be applying too much pressure, effectively widening your stroke by splaying the tip on the model's surface. If you're only gently dragging the tip but a slightly irregular "linear puddle" is forming instead of a fine line, you have too much paint loaded for your current level of dilution.
In the latter case, you either need to wick away excess paint and lay the line down in multiple strokes and layers (being that your paint will be largely transparent, with less of it on the brush) or thin less. If solid lines are the goal, heavy thinning can actually be counter-productive - as long as the paint leaves the bristles easily and lays flat on the model, thicker paint may serve you better.
You mentioned having trouble determining just how much is "a lot" and what is "excess" - again, there's no substitute for observation and experience. Load a brush with as much paint as it will hold (while trying to avoid soaking it right up into the ferrule, of course - brush care 101

) and lay down a relatively short line. Keep laying down strokes, taking note of how the behavior changes as the paint load lessens (keeping the strokes short gives you more points of reference, as you lose little paint each time). You should, at some point, get a line of the proper thickness and smoothness. Take note of the load at this point - that's what you should be aiming for. Repeat the exercise at different dilutions and you should start to get a better feel for things (remember how they're linked? Thinner paint = more flow = lighter brush load to maintain control). After that, you can start practicing your brush loading technique, trying to dip and wipe, as necessary, to get your brush to the same load level that gave you the results you wanted.
You can, of course, do all of this directly on models, instead of test scraps, if you prefer. It tends to seem less tedious that way, but prepare for lots of blotting of paint runs, sharpening up of lines, etc. It will likely take some time, but your painting will run much faster and smoother for it.