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Ok so I decided to make my own Cadian regiment and was wondering what people thought of it.

So in the 13th Black Crusade the 972nd Cadian Regiments commander betrayed the imperium at the worst possible moment and the regiment split in two, inflicting lots of damage to the local guard and PDF and its rumoured this regiment turned the tide in a few battles and thousands of people died because of this. At the end of the Black Crusade, the departo munitorium decided to keep the rebellion a secret to prevent further outbreaks and every single person in that regiment (aprox 1500) were to be executed and only the best were aloud to join other regiments. However in later years with a shortage of men the munitorium decided to reform this regiment. Of course as word had got out about the regiment, it was shuned away by normal people and regarded as "The Heretics Salvation." Nearly every man who was part of it was looked down upon. All commisars that were part of it didn't go there for choice, they had the be part of it for incompetence on the battlefield. This was true for many officers and Commanders as well. The infantry squads were picked from local prisons and the crime to get in was ANYTHING below heresy. These people were used as meat shields for other guard regiments, and just acted as a wall of men. It is said that being a conscript in the 972nd is worse than being in a Penal Legion squadron. Despite this, with a lot of them being old gangland members and murderers these people have been known to fight harder than anyone. Trying to resolve themselves of the terrible crime that they committed all those years ago, the common guardsman in this regiment is known to be as brave as the Astartes. This regiment has now been known to lead the spearheads of attacks and led assaults and defences that any other regiment would have failed. Now people are recognising what these troops do and they are slowly gaining respect from the public and munitorium as well. They are getting better supplied and have already got a baneblade to join their regiment and should expect help from titans soon. Though brave, this regiment will always be called: The Heretics Salvation.

Thanks for reading and if you have any comments, suggestions, or opinions, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys and I hope you enjoyed

So some feedback for you.

First off, on a broad stroke, but I think you need to tighten up your editing of the writing. Right now, this kind of just mushes together into something that hurts the overall readability. It makes it difficult to see what the overall point and message of the piece is. Breaking it up into a few more paragraphs will help you a lot I think.

As far as the story content itself goes, it strikes me as very discordant with how the Imperium works. The long and short of it is that the Imperium just is not that forgiving, and never would be. I mean, this is a setting where planets are wiped out for less than what your regiment did. And forgiving them because of a 'shortage' of manpower is just not even close to the Imperium. The defining trait of the Imperium is that they ALWAYS have more men to throw at a problem. That, I think, needs some re-working.

If you want sort of a redemption story going, I wouldn't make it so blatant, because to the Imperium, 1500 guys is quite literally, nothing. They would even hesitate to kill that off to even prevent the rumor of treason. And they certainly would not allot them a Baneblade within such a short time period.

Ok how would you improve it then?

Well, I think to start with that, let me ask you something. What do you want the overall theme and feel of your regiment to be? You kind of have a few ideas kicking around here. Do you want them to be guys who are seeking redemption from some past misdeed? Do you want it to be a band of criminals who have reformed? Keep in mind that they should not be -everything-, as that will muddy the waters. It is a difficult thing for a writer to put some ideas down, but in the end, it is better to take one idea and make it really special, then to try to stuff a bunch of ideas into one character (or regiment) and have it come out all lumpy.

So to start with, what is it you want this regiment to do? Not on the tabletop, but in their story.

Oh they're just a bunch of criminals that have been recruited into the guard so that they can hopefully resolve themselves of the crime that they have done. Wether it be petty theft or murdering many people.

Maybe take the Savlar Chem dogs as an example, maybe your recruits are recruited from a penal world?

Okay. That's a starting point.

Now in IG, that tends to put in mind a penal legion. But that really is not quite regiment level. And I remember you mentioned conscripts and armored support in your original idea, so we need to go in a different direction than a penal legion.

How about this?

Your regiment hails from a hive world that has either an extremely high crime rate, or a extremely strict governor who takes a pretty harsh stance on any kind of crime. So much so that those convicted of crimes in his world are inducted and trained to become the planet's tithe of guardsmen. To the governor, criminals are weeded out and the tithe for manpower set by the Imperium is met. Just toss in a promise of pardons for those who complete their tours of duty, and you have a lot of motivated criminals aching for their chance to get out. With the casualty rate being so high, most of them aren't gonna make it, naturally. So that governor has a perfect little scheme going on.

Your regiment still exists within the overall structure of the Guard, being sent off to this warzone and that. But the character of the regiment, given the high rate of losses, is that those who are just in it for themselves don't last long, and if anyone even wants a chance to get their pardons, the only way to do that is by being the best regiment they can be. To the wider galaxy, you have a motivated regiment, though still not entirely trusted given their planet's method of recruitment.

How's that strike you?

yeah that sounds cool

I'd call in the Commissariat, line them all up against the wall, and have them shot.

Some other problems... if the officers of this regiment are all assigned here because of incompetence, then this should be reflected in its fluff, and possibly in its crunch as well, such as taking a -2 LD in every unit, having no Commissars, and automatically failing any test to avoid fleeing from combat.

There are some absolutely terrible officers in the IG, for the DM to actually notice how terrible you are and sanction you for it? Then you must *really* suck. I would build the Army around the "Send in the Next Wave" ability, and use that as its primary, secondary and tertiary tactics.

Also, the DM does not command the TItan Legions, those are under the purview of the Adeptus Mechanicus. The AdMech would probably work with such a traitorous regiment only if they could first render all of them into Skitari Tech-Guard (thus ensuring their loyalty through psycho-surgery, hypno-indoctrination, engramattic programming, implanted cortex bombs, and kill-commands) or, if they were in a rush, gun-servitors.

A Titan has a long and glorious history, many dating back to pre-Heresy days. It is highly unlikely that it will taint its legacy by serving alongside traitors to the Imperium.

If word got out that this unit was in any way responsible for the Fall of Cadia... any other IG regiment serving with them would kill them. Probably in their sleep. Or, you know, the manticore's salvo is just a *little* off-target... Friendly fire: isn't.

Though, you know the 13th Black Crusade is still happening, right? Cadia has, for all intents and purposes, fallen, with the majority of its Kasrs smoking craters and its ability to function as a Fortress World probably lost for the next thousand years, and that assuming the Imperium can retake the planet and rebuild it.

If you weren't going to make this regiment Traitor Guard, I would completely back off the whole aspect of them betraying the Imperium. There is no "coming back" from that for the common soldier. There is fleeing into the hinterlands to become Traitor Guard, or there is death by Commissar.

In this regiment's case, have their former CO and his staff officers fall to Chaos, or reveal themselves as hidden cultists, during the Black Crusade. The regiment catches wind of this (maybe the CO chooses to reveal himself when they are in battle against the Black Legion, and orders them to fire on allied IG?) and the regiment refuses, turns their guns on their traitorous officers, and kill them... of course, while we would consider this heroic in M3, in 40K, shooting your commanding officers when you're not under direct orders of a Commissar is a capital offense.

Thus, the unit earns its dark reputation by doing the right thing, and is re-purposed as a Penal Legion or is assigned only punitive missions. This is why they get to do the jobs of Stormtroopers without all the hardware that the Stormtrooper Regiment gets.

They get some hard-as-nails new CO, surrounded by Commissars, Confessors, mind-probing Imperial Psykers, whatever else in the CCS you can fit that would go well with a regiment that is suspected of heresy and treason under dubious circumstances. There's enough evidence to paint them as guilty of executing their CO, but there's also enough evidence to suggest that it was a necessary course of action. Whatever investigation followed the incident provided enough evidence to prevent the regiment from going to the firing squad, but not enough to clear their names.

.... and now they are on the path to redemption.

They're still not going to be given a Baneblade or a Titan Legion. There are far better, and far more-deserving, regiments in the IG for these honors.

Ok thanks I think I'm going to go with curran12' army background but I am still open for suggestions.