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And the forum goes deathly silent...


1: She was unemployed for 3 months and lived with me for free.
2: I am now laid off and can't find work in my very seasonal hometown.

She is concentrating on point 2 while I'm thinking point 1 gives me leeway. Oh yeah and point three!

3: She's been having secret conversations with her old BF who lives in another province.

I hate math!

edit: I should probably get at least a 5+ invul on the work issue right?

1. Interwebs is not good places for dating advice.
2. See 1.

 djones520 wrote:
1. Interwebs is not good places for dating advice.
2. See 1.

Yeah there are actually a lot of middle aged men who are married that play mini wargames so I'm guessing eventually one of them will come out with something constructive.

Mostly though I just wanted to have a laugh about it, I mean... she'll be home in a few hours and then it's back to being argumentative for whatever reason.

Seriously no bites on the invul save joke?

1. Gender isn't relevant in this problem
2. Your first reflex being a misogynist one, I have no desire to help you resolve your issues.

 Kovnik Obama wrote:
1. Gender isn't relevant in this problem
2. Your first reflex being a misogynist one, I have no desire to help you resolve your issues.

Elaborate please?

Is there a question were supposed to be answering here?

 cincydooley wrote:
Is there a question were supposed to be answering here?

Well, what would you do if in the same situation? Lets pretend your spouse freeloaded off you for 3 months and now the tables are turned. Are you upset with getting flak about work?

Should I be upset that she is continuing to talk to her ex despite me having asked her to stop?

1. Run

2. Don't look back.

3. Meet someone else.

 Kovnik Obama wrote:
1. Gender isn't relevant in this problem
2. Your first reflex being a misogynist one, I have no desire to help you resolve your issues.

Seriously I cannot spot anything in his post that is misogynistic, please point out what is.

Wargaming (and most other forums) are not the place to get relationship advice. We're only getting one (very limited) side of the story, and that is not enough to give any real advice on even if we were so inclined.

The only person you should be taking through your relationship problems with is your other half.

Good luck.

Bullockist wrote:

 Kovnik Obama wrote:
1. Gender isn't relevant in this problem
2. Your first reflex being a misogynist one, I have no desire to help you resolve your issues.

Seriously I cannot spot anything in his post that is misogynistic, please point out what is.

... the title?

 Kovnik Obama wrote:

Bullockist wrote:

 Kovnik Obama wrote:
1. Gender isn't relevant in this problem
2. Your first reflex being a misogynist one, I have no desire to help you resolve your issues.

Seriously I cannot spot anything in his post that is misogynistic, please point out what is.

... the title?

Bwahaha! Okay then, any more hairs need splitting?

I know the answer, I just wanted to rap about it really. Someone already pointed out what the best solution is. Now I just have to get ready to do so.

How about this. We'll pretend the thread is called "People?" and my question is this: Why can't people just be honest with one another, especially when they care about each other? Why is it we always take advantage of the ones we love?

women? Is mysogynistic? In the context he was using it as a question alluding to the fact that gamers have a reputation of not knowing much about women.

Get overly sensitive much?

darkcloak wrote:
How about this. We'll pretend the thread is called "People?" and my question is this: Why can't people just be honest with one another, especially when they care about each other? Why is it we always take advantage of the ones we love?

How'about "What to do when your significant other is applying double-standards and doesn't realize it, [edit, cuz this is rich] and won't obey my orders?"

Or, more honestly "Please convince me I'm justified in divorcing my wife, based on this totally accurate three sentence representation of my situation.''

darkcloak wrote:
3: She's been having secret conversations with her old BF who lives in another province.

At this point I'd say it's not even a relationship you would want to salvage.

 Kovnik Obama wrote:

darkcloak wrote:
How about this. We'll pretend the thread is called "People?" and my question is this: Why can't people just be honest with one another, especially when they care about each other? Why is it we always take advantage of the ones we love?

How'about "What to do when your significant other is applying double-standards and doesn't realize it, [edit, cuz this is rich] and won't obey my orders?"

Or, more honestly "Please convince me I'm justified in divorcing my wife, based on this totally accurate three sentence representation of my situation.''

Lol, okay first I did not order her to stop talking to this dweeb, I told her how it made me feel and then asked her to stop. Then it kinda continued for 3 months after the fact and yeah I gave her an "order", which she promptly agreed to. Now she's exchanging cat photos with him? Sounds fishy no?


You don't tell someone one thing and then do another. It's called lying and we all get hurt by it eventually.

Thanks to the guy who said cut and run. You're the smartest cookie out of all of us, even if I hate you for being right.

Cat as in... little fuzzy things that purr, or cat as in little fuzzy things that purr?

But seriously
1) You shouldn't be seeking advice from a wargaming forum, especially where someone could suggest you do something stupid.
2) cut and run

1, Relocate to another province for a job.
2. Run for the border...
3. Beat her to the punch and bail on her for your ex GF/BF

 Kovnik Obama wrote:

darkcloak wrote:
How about this. We'll pretend the thread is called "People?" and my question is this: Why can't people just be honest with one another, especially when they care about each other? Why is it we always take advantage of the ones we love?

How'about "What to do when your significant other is applying double-standards and doesn't realize it, [edit, cuz this is rich] and won't obey my orders?"

Or, more honestly "Please convince me I'm justified in divorcing my wife, based on this totally accurate three sentence representation of my situation.''

You do realize that a title can only be so long, right?

Anyway, to answer the OP's question, you should just continue to let her freeload. Think of it this way, she's a woman and therefore her life is much more difficult than yours; as a man you simply can not even fathom how much more difficult her life is simply by virtue of her being a woman. You're so blinded by your male privilege that you don't see how much she has to struggle everyday while you sit around the house doing fun man-stuff. So give her a break, lay off with the Patriarchal oppreshun, and go get a fething job brah.

Bullockist wrote:

 Kovnik Obama wrote:
1. Gender isn't relevant in this problem
2. Your first reflex being a misogynist one, I have no desire to help you resolve your issues.

Seriously I cannot spot anything in his post that is misogynistic, please point out what is.

Well, clearly you just don't try as hard as some of our more extreme Canadian friends.

darkcloak wrote:
Then it kinda continued for 3 months after the fact and yeah I gave her an "order", which she promptly agreed to. Now she's exchanging cat photos with him?

So you did give her an order. Ok, that's it, as soon as I'm done tracking your location, I'm giving your wife's phone number to Kronk.

I suggest you to what I would normally do. First I use would use my mind control abilities to control your wife into creating a meet-up close by with this ex-boyfriend of hers. Once the meet-up has been confirmed you make her lure him close enough that you can extend this control to him. In doing so you can then get them to rob a bank in costumes of Ronald McDonald and The Burger King. This will lead to a media frenzy over these two companies and their scandalous public relationship which will cause their stock to fall that you can swiftly take advantage of and these poor suckers will be in jail (or dead if they don't manage to escape the fast food police).

Wait, what? You don't have telepathy?

Drink maple syrup until you do I guess?

darkcloak wrote:

 Kovnik Obama wrote:
1. Gender isn't relevant in this problem
2. Your first reflex being a misogynist one, I have no desire to help you resolve your issues.

Elaborate please?

Putting the blame on her gender rather than on her character.

 Cheesecat wrote:

darkcloak wrote:

 Kovnik Obama wrote:
1. Gender isn't relevant in this problem
2. Your first reflex being a misogynist one, I have no desire to help you resolve your issues.

Elaborate please?

Putting the blame on her gender rather than on her character.

Ah see I had no intention of causing offense, and if indeed this post is perceived that way then by all means, seek an apology elsewhere.

 djones520 wrote:
1. Interwebs is not good places for dating advice.
2. See 1.

What do you mean? DakkaDakka is one of the most reputable sources for dating advise and the fact that Mod lock these threads like it's a convicted pedophile shows how little empathy they have for the site members.

 Cheesecat wrote:

darkcloak wrote:

 Kovnik Obama wrote:
1. Gender isn't relevant in this problem
2. Your first reflex being a misogynist one, I have no desire to help you resolve your issues.

Elaborate please?

Putting the blame on her gender rather than on her character.

I think people want to get in a huff as soon as they see something related to women. NOWHERE in the OP does he put the blame on her because she is a woman.

If you read it, everything is related to her actions instead of her gender.

Canadians, I know you are probably cold right now but not everything is gloom and negativity

And BlaxicanX thanks for the laugh , that was an awesome post.

You're basically SOL. If she's engaging in "secret" conversations that you've somehow been made aware of with an ex, somethings up. They're supposed to be ex's for a reason. The fact that she was unemployed for 3 months, started living with you and when you became unemployed she started talking with an ex...she's likely a gold digger of sorts. You had what she wanted, she jumped in, now that you don't have it she's looking to get out. Run. Run as fast as you can. I just hope you had a couple fun romps in the sack to remember. Don't dwell on them, just remember them fondly. But other than a bit of action, she doesn't sound worth it. And I'd say that about any person who started acting this way. Gender means nothing, we just have a specific person of a specific gender being discussed here.

Some relationships are about transactions. It's informal, but underpinning it all is the assumption that you can give things up now in order to get things of the same or equal value in the relationship. ie I pay the bill this time, and we understand you'll pay next time.

Some people carry this mindset in to romantic relationships, and it causes a lot of problems. For instance, thinking that her being without a job for a period gave you a free pass to spend some time unemployed later on.

The way it has to work in a relationship is that if your partner doesn't have a job, well then you guys have to make do on one income for a while. And when you don't have a job, well then you guys have to make do on one income for a while, and while that's going on you're going to try real hard to get a job. If that basic understanding isn't there, an assumption that what each of you brings is added to one family pool of resources, then what the feth are you even in a relationship for?


On the second point, well if you don't trust her to keep in contact with an old boyfriend and not sleep around, what exactly are you trying to hold on to in this relationship?

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:
Wargaming (and most other forums) are not the place to get relationship advice. We're only getting one (very limited) side of the story, and that is not enough to give
any real advice on even if we were so inclined.

The only person you should be taking through your relationship problems with is your other half.

Good luck.

I've noticed that most of the time when a person heads off and tells complete strangers about his problem with some other person, he's at least 50% responsible.

I have heard of many ex's getting back together due to the swapping of lolcats , it is far more important than the swapping of body fluids.