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So I am playing chaos with tau allies (Heavily converted, looking awesome so far.) and I am wondering if it would be better to get an etherial as my hq or use a crisis suit commander. I already have a crisis suit team kit, but I have only built one so far(not a commander). The reason I am doing this is mainly because I realized a head swapped vampire counts necromancer would be an AWESOME chaos ethereal. So what do you guys think?

Depends on what role you're trying to run. Commanders are good for filling a specific role, such as buffing a squad or acting in a dedicated list role, whilst an Ethereal is more a support piece for fire warriors/kroot.

A buffmander is often very good. but w/o knowing your list and what else you plan on taking, we cant know

I have one completed crisis suit, two fire warriors and a drone. IN box I have the rest of those squads and one of pathfinders. It can really be anything now, and I'm NOT super competitive. I actually like the tau fluff quite a bit...