I wouldn't count on a pair of Vindies and a Landraider screening your troops. Granted, things like Firewarrior gunlines will have trouble, but there are a whole lot of nasty things that can circumvent your tank-wall altogether.
In terms of fluff, it feels very Vanilla to me. Crusader Squads built like Tactical squads (10 men and no mixed armor) with an extra
PW, and
snipers...yick. But then I am something of a puritan. I do love those good ol' Vindies though
Anyway, in my opinion a footslogging Crusader squad needs more than 10 bodies. Not just on a matter of fluff, but because hoofing it is dangerous, and ablative wounds are (practically) a must. Taking Neophytes (even if you stick with 10 men) is a good way to scrape together extra points, too.
Heretical as they are, Snipers are good units. Even more so with Landspeeder Storms, but I don't see anywhere to get the points for them, so I wouldn't worry much about it.
The Raider seems like a bit much to transport a 6 man squad, even a fairly killy 6 man squad like you have there. A Stormraven would save you a nice chunk of change (which you could use to add more Honor Guard), allow you to bring in the Stormtalon at the same time, give you greater mobility, and it still has a nice supply of firepower. Of course, this would pretty much invalidate the tank-wall idea entirely, so it's not a small change to make if you take one.
You
might be better off with 2 Landspeeders than a single Stormtalon.
Just my two bits.