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Rhinos are very very weak. If you're gonna bring transports they should be Razorbacks, so you can at least have a Lascannon or Other heavy weapon to shoot with. The rest of your Marine squads on foot are too unprotected. Tau, Eldar, Deldar will all shoot your list off the board very quickly. If rework the list and get things in Drop Pods. Centurions are excellent footslogger with Grav Cannons and can ruin anyone's day, especially with Tigirius. Bike squad looks good too,even better with A Chapter Master on Bike with shield eternal and artificer armour. That gives that unit a wound tanker with a 2+/3+ That regains lost wounds. Not to mention the whole bike squad has jink saves.
So far bike squad looks good.
Rhinos are soft.
Foots logging marines need protection
One thunderfire should be enough unless you insist on two in which case go for it. Two is not bad.
Storm talon is fine
Scouts don't need camo cloaks.
Are the devastators going on the Bastion? If so keep them, if not they need protection. They become target #1 if unprotected.
With the changes see if you can't find a way to add a CM as described and make rhinos into either razorbacks or go drop pods.
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