A silly rant about words.

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**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Oh, and just for the record, it's not a bloody Fawcett. It's a Tap. And Fenders are not in fact Fenders. They are bumpers.

Jam is Jam, because I'm afraid Jelly is busy meaning Jelly and can't cover Jams roll.

**Greebynog**

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:....can't cover Jams roll.

I love the smell of a pun in the morning!

**Frazzled**

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Oh, and just for the record, it's not a bloody Fawcett. It's a Tap. And Fenders are not in fact Fenders. They are bumpers.

Jam is Jam, because I'm afraid Jelly is busy meaning Jelly and can't cover Jams roll.

You're food of poopy haggis MDG

*It is a bloody Fawcet. A Tap is a verb.
*Bumpers are little things you put in a bowling alley. Fenders not only belong on cars but Freddy. 'Oh yessss, I'm the greeaaatttt Pretenderrrrr....'
*Torches are things you burn down the university with when they try to limit voting to college boys. Flashlights are what you use when you're vainly trying to find out what that noise was...
*And finally, its not bloody 'ell its

ing A!

You British with your incorrect terms.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Our language, our rules.

And I think you will find I, and most of my countrymen are the lords and master of swearies.

I reckon I could make any sailor in your Navy blush with my lanuage!

**Frazzled**

I'd take you up on that. Many of us can cuss in multiple languages. Thats always a positive. In my case, all the voices in my head can cuss at once, outnumbering you in the sheer number of words produced in any given second

EditL shouldn't it be-their Language their rules -Scot boy? Unless you're talking Gaelic which sounds like an insult even if you're asking me to pass the salt.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Pffrt.

You....you are without the might...yes..the might...of the Profanisaurus...Britain's Lexicon of Swearing and Rude Terms...10,000+ as of the latest addition last year, not to mention the 11 or so issues of Viz updating in the meantime!

You Ragmans Coat. Cor, I bet your wife has a right old Judith on her. Oh, hope you don't mind me zuffling on your curtains last night...

**reds8n**

They even have plumbing in Texas ?

*ducks and covers*

**Kilkrazy**

If it were a fawcet it would actually be a faucet.

Ships have fenders.

The word piquet (a card game) is properly pronounced picket like what Charles II used to say, and he spoke very good French, despite being Scottish.

Restaurateur, not restauranteur.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

That might have been me mispelling their daft word for a Tap. But seeing as it's one of their spazzy made up words and doesn't really mean owt other than 'I can't be arsed to call it a tap because I want to be a bit poncey' I can't say it matters

**Frazzled**

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:That might have been me mispelling their daft word for a Tap. But seeing as it's one of their spazzy made up words and doesn't really mean owt other than 'I can't be arsed to call it a tap because I want to be a bit poncey' I can't say it matters

Er...what? (opens his English to MDG translater which immediately self destructs)

To quote an old Bugs Bunny phrase "ah your mudda wears combat boots"

**Frazzled**

reds8n wrote: They even have plumbing in Texas ?

*ducks and covers*

Yes indeedy we gots dem new fangled inside outhouses back in Ought Six we did.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Oh dear.

Oh Dear Oh Dear. You're for it now. I'm going to have to hurt you now.....

Your Mum is FRENCH!

There.... I said it....complete with Hairy Pits and a rather unique interpretation of personal hygiene

(Yes, I am playing to an outdated and inaccurate stereotype)

**Frazzled**

How did you know my mom is from Louisiana?

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Well, thats where I picked her up. Stupid.

**Frazzled**

Hugs and kisses to you too MDG

Oh wait we better stop before we catch Malfred's attention. just don't let him borrow any of your socks.

**Apone**

So is MDG your dad Frazzled?

**Frazzled**

No. He's yours. I notice you both wear fuzzy red hats and smoke cigars-thats a sure giveaway.

"Apone-report! Apone!?!"

**malfred**

I'm totally stealing from this thread and bumping it to add to an article I'd like to keep
updated.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/wiki/en/Special:Edit?topic=Forum_Spelling_and_Grammar_Guide

Feel free to help! (Formatting may change, but I'll handle that, too)

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

When you can come up with a translator to crack my own brand of gibberish, not only will I award you a hat made from the spleen of the recently deceased Dictator of your choice, but I will also probably be banned.

Hurrah for innuendo, and hidden profanity so hidden it loses all it's power to all except the initiated!

Like the swearing pennants Viz gave away. Genius those.

**Apone**

I better go and find my brothers Profanisaurus and read up then.
He does love his Viz.