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Cover a Rhinoceros in palm kernel oil, rub it on my ships engines until he had touched exactly 82.382398423974283492874382734982793847844991374082728095% of the surface.

Put the Rhino in my ship. Fly to Edward M. Barman's house, balance said Rhino on top of his roof. Steal the fifth roof file facing south from the tip of the Rhino's horn.

Take that Roof Tile to a Walmart in Westborough , MA and throw it at the most expensive TV display. I will note the first store employee to challenge me and begin to stalk him or her.

Steal their leavings the next him they use the bathroom, and then rub it on the head of Reginald VelJohnson. Spin around in place 4 times, do my best impersonation of an earth-pig and drink one gallon of off-white Behr Premium house paint.

I will then go back to my home planet, where I will praised as a hero for my actions.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

alarmingrick wrote:...make sure i knew where Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith were before i landed?

Absolutely this.

You also need a Mac laptop since they are compatible with Alien technology and can upload a virus into their mother ship.

I would sterilise around 7/8th of the human population, following an empathy and intellect scan and leave ultracarnage droids patrolling the planet to liquidate anyone hunting endangered species, like this prick:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42356709/ns/business-us_business/?gt1=43001

I would then use my species advanced technology to clean up much of the planet and warn the population that we would be revisiting at regular intervals and if they went back to messing it up, we would start less polite ways of reducing the population...

Crom wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

alarmingrick wrote:...make sure i knew where Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith were before i landed?

Absolutely this.

You also need a Mac laptop since they are compatible with Alien technology and can upload a virus into their mother ship.

You know I think the problem isn't that they were compatible, it is that Mac was brought here in 1947. Its Alien's fault for using the same operating system in 1996.

Lord Scythican wrote:

Crom wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

alarmingrick wrote:...make sure i knew where Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith were before i landed?

Absolutely this.

You also need a Mac laptop since they are compatible with Alien technology and can upload a virus into their mother ship.

You know I think the problem isn't that they were compatible, it is that Mac was brought here in 1947. Its Alien's fault for using the same operating system in 1996.

So, Macs are built off of alien technology?

"Childhood's End" baby!

I don't know really.

How can my mind even begin to contemplate how the mind of a alien works?

Crom wrote:

Lord Scythican wrote:

Crom wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

alarmingrick wrote:...make sure i knew where Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith were before i landed?

Absolutely this.

You also need a Mac laptop since they are compatible with Alien technology and can upload a virus into their mother ship.

You know I think the problem isn't that they were compatible, it is that Mac was brought here in 1947. Its Alien's fault for using the same operating system in 1996.

So, Macs are built off of alien technology?

Yeah! Iphones are also going to be eventually implanted into your hands. It is part of the alien invasion plot. They will be able to control us with them. Everyone's area code will be 666.

It is the reason our computers have so many more viruses than they did in 1996. Windows and Apple are trying to make the most secure Operating System they can. The Alien CEOs want to be better prepared, so stupid crap like the mac virus on the mother ship will not happen for reals this time.

Its all in Project Paper Clip.

Look at history mate, youll see what they DID!

MeanGreenStompa wrote:I would sterilise around 7/8th of the human population, following an empathy and intellect scan and leave ultracarnage droids patrolling the planet to liquidate anyone hunting endangered species, like this prick:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42356709/ns/business-us_business/?gt1=43001

I would then use my species advanced technology to clean up much of the planet and warn the population that we would be revisiting at regular intervals and if they went back to messing it up, we would start less polite ways of reducing the population...

Great, first we are invaded by aliens, then they turn out to be bloomin' homocidal hippies!

Still if it reduces the queue at the bar then i'll sign up. Leather and beer are still okay aren't they master?

corpsesarefun wrote:Run.

notprop wrote:

Still if it reduces the queue at the bar then i'll sign up. Leather and beer are still okay aren't they master?

Sure, in fact people doing most of whatever the hell they want to is ok, it's just that currently there are too many people doing anything.

Subject: If you were a technologically advanced alien species encountering Earth for the first time...

A technologically advances alien species will likely detect our radio shell before they meet us. After a few hours of human TV and intelligent life out there will be well advised to stay away.

KingCracker wrote:Look at history mate, youll see what they DID!

This. I would go Cortez on their species. Be admired as a god, extend the hand of friendship, destroy large amounts of the planet, bring never-before seen diseases with me, rape the people, take their valuables, then slaughter them with advanced weaponry. Start a colony. Reduce native-born to second class citizens. Refuse to apolagise for all time.

Discover 4chan. Be sick. Leave. Quickly.