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awesome!

Planet Lord 487.0 and an immortal squad got taken apart, literally, by a terminator squad. No grudging respect?

I was looking forward to a more involved battle between the Librarian and the Pariah. I was looking forward to the librarian seeing his doom and going through whatever a Psyker goes through when meeting a Pariah. Then fighting hand to hand against a xenos that seems to use space marine close combat techniques. Then realizing just what/who he’s fighting. Then finally dying in some fashion. You did the Psyker stuff, but the fighting was one blocked swing and cleaved in half? Hmmm, too quick.

“My Lord, these matters of politics are far beyond my status. I am deeply honored but what can I possibly contribute to these events?” I was jarred by this. It seems out of character for our main protagonist. He starts the story by being in charge, curious about his surroundings and cooking up schemes for the future. The guy is on the ball. Even in the few seconds available, Planet Lord 487.0 had to be thinking about why he was being summoned before his Phaeron, a master that has deemed teleconferencing, or reports through intermediates, to be sufficient for the many years before conversion and all through the War in Heaven. A master that scares the out of him. Something important is cooking. Now as quick of thought as our hero has been so far, I’d expect at the very least an immediate declaration of support for the Phaeron. Now the declaration could be sincere, simply an automatic formality or just a weak front for “please don’t kill me”. But a “why me, I’m worthless” response when his Phaeron hints at threats to himself. Nope. Clearly our hero has resources, a warhost of some respectable size I gather. Obviously, he’s not worthless and he knows it. In fact, that response might make the Phaeron think Planet Lord 487.0 is declaring he’s not prepared to back his Phaeron. Hmmm, execution time then. I can believe that Planet Lord 487.0 doesn’t believe he’s suited to the political game. It would be in character and entertaining to have him declare his military support, then be taken aback when he realizes that he seems to be getting pulled into the Phaeron’s court. So…what happened to that court anyway? Did someone get displaced and will be planning to backstab our hero? Did members of the court not make it through the great sleep? Did one of them defect to the Stormlord already? Was the defection successful or not? Or perhaps our hero is just meant as window dressing. A show of force the Phaeron is pulling together for the meeting. A “See how much might I command” sort of gesture. The Phaeron could be looking to make the Stormlord back off or looking for a higher position in the Stormlord’s own court.

I did like the bit about reminding Planet Lord 487.0 that he had a name.

Anyway, jumping into Necron dynastic intrigue. Exciting possibilities! I start to think, will the next space marine incursion be more serious, requiring new allies? Will the space marine conflict become an annoying drain on resources away from the real Necron-on-Necron conflict?

How will a pariah squad be utilized? Will all its members remain true to their new Necron overlords? How will it be viewed by the other Necron lords? Will it cause political trouble for our hero? Looking forward to the story.

PrivatePanic wrote:Planet Lord 487.0 and an immortal squad got taken apart, literally, by a terminator squad. No grudging respect?

I was looking forward to a more involved battle between the Librarian and the Pariah. I was looking forward to the librarian seeing his doom and going through whatever a Psyker goes through when meeting a Pariah. Then fighting hand to hand against a xenos that seems to use space marine close combat techniques. Then realizing just what/who he’s fighting. Then finally dying in some fashion. You did the Psyker stuff, but the fighting was one blocked swing and cleaved in half? Hmmm, too quick.

“My Lord, these matters of politics are far beyond my status. I am deeply honored but what can I possibly contribute to these events?” I was jarred by this. It seems out of character for our main protagonist. He starts the story by being in charge, curious about his surroundings and cooking up schemes for the future. The guy is on the ball. Even in the few seconds available, Planet Lord 487.0 had to be thinking about why he was being summoned before his Phaeron, a master that has deemed teleconferencing, or reports through intermediates, to be sufficient for the many years before conversion and all through the War in Heaven. A master that scares the out of him. Something important is cooking. Now as quick of thought as our hero has been so far, I’d expect at the very least an immediate declaration of support for the Phaeron. Now the declaration could be sincere, simply an automatic formality or just a weak front for “please don’t kill me”. But a “why me, I’m worthless” response when his Phaeron hints at threats to himself. Nope. Clearly our hero has resources, a warhost of some respectable size I gather. Obviously, he’s not worthless and he knows it. In fact, that response might make the Phaeron think Planet Lord 487.0 is declaring he’s not prepared to back his Phaeron. Hmmm, execution time then. I can believe that Planet Lord 487.0 doesn’t believe he’s suited to the political game. It would be in character and entertaining to have him declare his military support, then be taken aback when he realizes that he seems to be getting pulled into the Phaeron’s court. So…what happened to that court anyway? Did someone get displaced and will be planning to backstab our hero? Did members of the court not make it through the great sleep? Did one of them defect to the Stormlord already? Was the defection successful or not? Or perhaps our hero is just meant as window dressing. A show of force the Phaeron is pulling together for the meeting. A “See how much might I command” sort of gesture. The Phaeron could be looking to make the Stormlord back off or looking for a higher position in the Stormlord’s own court.

I did like the bit about reminding Planet Lord 487.0 that he had a name.

Anyway, jumping into Necron dynastic intrigue. Exciting possibilities! I start to think, will the next space marine incursion be more serious, requiring new allies? Will the space marine conflict become an annoying drain on resources away from the real Necron-on-Necron conflict?

How will a pariah squad be utilized? Will all its members remain true to their new Necron overlords? How will it be viewed by the other Necron lords? Will it cause political trouble for our hero? Looking forward to the story.

You sir are thinking about this alot! What a complement! This portion of the story was to give a little more insight to the how I view the necron lords at any level to have very individule personalities. Your are correct. On his own tiny little world, he is the LORD RULER. There is no command but his. He knows this, is comfortable with it, but also lazy about any movement out side his comfort zone. Not that he is incapable but complacent. After millions of yearsin the same tomb, I think thats not unrealistic. All he needs is a little "old school" motivation from his Phaeron to get him moving again. This also shows that is more than just a glorified lord but something truly rare and special.

As for the space marine battle, it was just enough to wet your pallet. Deffinitly not the main drive of the story. The focus of the story is much much grander in scale!
Thanks for the great comments, I hope to get more like them.

PS, I really despise space marines so they will probably all die in some pathetic fashion!

The vast conference chamber was filled with noise. Mostly made of petty bickering over territorial boundaries of lesser lords of the U’shang. The room was empty except for the huge circular table that the lords were all seated at. Only one light served the entire chamber and its focus was on the table. With all the other lords still seated, two prominent figures stood across from each other. Each posturing in an aggressive manner, Anrakyr and Dyamarkh were disputing the rightful place of the Sautekh Dynasty.

“Imotekh and the lot of the mutinous Sautekh shall be executed a traitors end once the Triarch is resurrected. If you do not pledge your allegiance now you will spend eternity looking over your shoulders and to the stars, waiting for the Praetorians justice. The Triarch’s Wrath will be as terrible as it is absolute!” The Traveler demanded

“Fool! Even if I had the authority to pledge allegiance, I wouldn’t to the likes of you. The Triarch’s ancient ways no longer serve us. The Silent Kings are gone and there is but one Necrontyr left truly worthy of being called Kin…”

“Sit. Both of you.” I’sept ordered. The chamber went suddenly silent and all were seated. “The only wrath anyone will face in these halls are mine.” Everyone there new this was no idle threat. I’sept had long ago established a reputation for intolerance of insubordination during any meeting he attended. Most violators found themselves dead and pinned to a nearby wall (not necessarily in that order). Vezbael again remembered how lucky he was not to be the latest example of I’sept’s “No Tolerance” policy.

I’sept spoke again. “Lords and Nobles of the U’shang, we are all here to discuss the future of the U’shang Dynasty. Our guests Dyamarkh of the Sautekh and Anrakyr the Traveler are welcome to speak but remember this. You are here because I allow you to be here. If I feel you are being disrespectful to me or my host, I WILL relieve your bodies of their foul caps and send them back were they came from. That goes for all of you.” He stopped and gave a quick glance at Vezbael. “Now, shall we begin? What do you bring us Dyamarkh? Why are you here?”

“My Lord” Dyamarkh began.

“Phaeron” I’sept interrupted. “Here in the U’shang you will address those you speak to with the proper titles.”

“Forgive me Phaeron I’sept.” The Phaeron stared silently. “Phaeron, I am here with a similar purpose as our traveling brother." He jestured to Anrakyr. "Phaeron Imotekh has recognized your supreme skills as a warrior and requests you join him under the uniting banner of the Sautekh Dynasty. My Phaeron wishes to claim and restore the Throne of the One King and offer you the title of Overlord. You would be allowed to maintain most of your realm and would gain a portion of the tithes claimed from the countless worlds under the Sautekh.”

I’sept ran his long, wired beard through his fingers. Obviously not impressed or interested in any deal that would end with him giving up his position as Phaeron. A position that was earned hundreds of thousands of years ago. Earned and maintained through battle and wits.

“And what if I decline this offer Dyamarkh? Do you deem me your enemy?” He asked in a taunting manner.

The emissary spoke carefully, making sure to not convey a threat in any way. “Phaeron, please understand, I have no authority to outright declare friend or foe, that is up to my Phaeron Imotekh. But he wishes for me to make it clear that one way or another he intends to reunite the Necrontyr by any means necessary, by force or policy. If we are not able to come to an accord by diplomacy, then he is left with few options. I can tell you this Phaeron; the benefits of a peaceful solution far outweigh the option of force.”

Hmmmm quite the choice of words from an emissary...

mega_bassist wrote:Hmmmm quite the choice of words from an emissary...

yeah I was going for that arrogant, "I'm on the bigger side, your not", "Mouth of Suaron" feel...

I have a feeling Dyamarkh will find he is not as safe as he thinks he is.

I like this quite a bit, well done! And I gotta agree, Dyamarkh is about to land himself into a world of hurt with that veiled snobby threat of his.

Glad you appreciated my previous comment. I see where you were going with the Vezbael and that's good. All that bothered me is "how" he expressed himself. But ok, he was out of his "zone" and just plain goofed. Lucky he's still functional. One of the things I hate to read is when a character violates their own...character. Now take the tract with Imotekh. What's the background for him? He hates Necron civil war. So, is he about to start a war with another successful Phaeron...just because he wants that Phaeron's systems for his very own? Again, violates his character, at least in my eye. As the reader, I'll just have to adjust if you do so, but please be kind to your readers. You may find some way to at least explain this apparent contradiction in his character so that it isn't really a contradiction. Maybe Dyamarkh is one of the old guard from Imotekh's home that is just a little too high on himself and making the wrong moves of his own accord. E.g. not really making the moves Imotekh would make if he were standing in that hall himself. Maybe those space marines again. Did Imotekh set up a scenario where he will simply be needed to come save the day. For a price perhaps? Is Imotekh hyperlogical mind already manipulating the U'shang dynasty as troops in another conflict, just not directly yet? Is this a...anyway, I'll wait to see where you take it.

PrivatePanic wrote:Did Imotekh set up a scenario where he will simply be needed to come save the day. For a price perhaps? Is Imotekh hyperlogical mind already manipulating the U'shang dynasty as troops in another conflict, just not directly yet? Is this a...anyway, I'll wait to see where you take it.

I love the way you analyze these things. It makes me feel you are really into it and what to know what happens next. For the above comment you are getting warm but there is one thing to remember about Imotekh. Even in the codex it says that if he has one weakness, it is his ego, and the way I see it, his ego can justify whatever means to his end designs.

lowmanjason wrote:I love the way you analyze these things. It makes me feel you are really into it and what to know what happens next. For the above comment you are getting warm but there is one thing to remember about Imotekh. Even in the codex it says that if he has one weakness, it is his ego, and the way I see it, his ego can justify whatever means to his end designs.

Well I am very interested in the story, and you asked for feedback, so I'm feeding back. Gotcha on the ego thing. Maybe he's starting to see himself as the King and is expecting obeisance. But having a huge ego doesn't necessarily mean he will begin an expensive campaign against another independent Necron dynasty just because they baulked at becoming his subordinate. On the other hand, hating Necron civil war doesn't mean that carries over to non-Sautekh dynasties.

Still looking to how the Traveler fits it other than as a supplicant looking for help with some campaign. The Traveler doesn't seem powerful enough to force anything out of the U'Shang.

dont worry Anrakyr will develope, in the mean time prepare to shift gears a little bit for the next entry.

PrivatePanic wrote:

lowmanjason wrote:I love the way you analyze these things. It makes me feel you are really into it and what to know what happens next. For the above comment you are getting warm but there is one thing to remember about Imotekh. Even in the codex it says that if he has one weakness, it is his ego, and the way I see it, his ego can justify whatever means to his end designs.

Well I am very interested in the story, and you asked for feedback, so I'm feeding back. Gotcha on the ego thing. Maybe he's starting to see himself as the King and is expecting obeisance. But having a huge ego doesn't necessarily mean he will begin an expensive campaign against another independent Necron dynasty just because they baulked at becoming his subordinate. On the other hand, hating Necron civil war doesn't mean that carries over to non-Sautekh dynasties.

Still looking to how the Traveler fits it other than as a supplicant looking for help with some campaign. The Traveler doesn't seem powerful enough to force anything out of the U'Shang.

From the fluff I would say that Anrakyr's power in getting other Necrons to assist him does not lie in intimidation or force, rather it seems like his way of "forcing" things to go his way lies more in bargains and finding interests that will result in mutual benefits of equal power. In other words he finds bargains and deals that other lords would seem stupid to turn down. That is how he "forces" things his way. I could see him making a proposal that'll suit both the Sautekh and the U'Shang before blood (or oil for that matter) is spilled thus saving diplomatic relations between the two dynasties and keeping the U'Shang's independence as it's own dynasty.

Captain Nierdhan sat in his command center of the strike cruiser "Hammermoon" with a look of disgust on his face. The Ultramarines 13th Company was by all means a new unit. Only formed 7 years ago. Its purpose was to be an expeditionary force. An easily transported, self-contained, mobile, ready, first response to xenos threats in its own sector of space. It had an Imperial Navy attachment in addition to its own fleet. Small it may be, but it served a very specific purpose. To wipe out entire populations of hostile alien life. Stocked with Planet Killers and Planet Crackers, there were two ways to approach its delivery of doom. Full authority and operation control had been given to Captain Nierdhan to either purge all life from a particular world or remove it from the galactic charts completely. After losing nearly half of his company to an unexpected xenos threat, his fingers were inching towards the button.

Initially the 13th Company was drawn this planet, designated UI 643.9, by a tiny but highly unusual energy signature from deep beneath the surface. The small group of exploritors aboard the fleet felt it was worth investigating due to the unexplored nature of this planet. Hoping to find some ancient treasures of the Golden Age or possibly an energy source making it feasible to settle this planet, they convinced Captain Nierdhan to send a tactical squad down to the surface to make sure it was safe for the exploritors follow. A decision he would soon regret.

Chaplain Maarc, one of the captain’s oldest friends and closest battle brother walked to the troubled commander’s side.

“Sir, the tech priest was able to unscramble Brother Martain’s Vidcast feed. You should see this for yourself... I suggest you view it in private.” Maarc handed Captain Nierdhan the recording.

Nierdhan took the disk and examined it. Such a strange little thing. In the hundreds of years of battle, the accomplished Space Marine officer had seen many things, but he had never actually seen the machine spirit itself. He had witnessed the feats of technology it granted and the awesome destructive power many have so claimed it possessed but never saw the actual spirit itself. Was it really in there? None of that mattered right now. His men were dead and he would find out who was responsible.

“Right… Maarc, come with me. Lieutenant Sans, you have control of the fleet until I return, maintain geosynchronous orbit above the battle sight. Maintain coms with the scout squad on the surface and order a zone reconnaissance patrol with possible target interdiction. I will return shortly.

“Aye sir” the lieutenant replied.

The two walked off of the command deck and down the long hallway to the captain’s quarters. Captain Nierdhan would have preferred his quarters to be closer to the command deck but had to make do with what he had. It was a quiet walk. Neither said a word to each other until they entered the private chambers.

“Why the secrecy Maarc?” Nierdhan asked

Maarc sighed and sat on a quest chair. “We were not able to receive any video from Brother Sergeant Gregor and his squad because they went underground and were too far below the surface to transmit. As you know we assumed the worst and sent a rescue element to recover their seed.”

“Yes Maarc I gave the order, what is the issue. Why the cloak and dag…”

“Necrons Nierd’, Necrons.” The old friend interrupted.

… … … Silence ... ... ...

“Frak…” Was all the frustrated captain could utter
.
“Frak is right. These things are not supposed to exist, yet here they are.”

“They exist just not officially” the captain responded.

“Obviously! This is a major problem Nierd’. We already have scouts on the ground waiting for a target and we don’t even know WHAT to target or how to engage them.

“We engage them with superior firepower Maarc, that never changes be it Orks or Tyranids or whatever. Overwhelming firepower.” He insisted.

“You need to look at the feed brother. There is more on it.

The captain inserted the small device into a larger device and a holographic picture lit up the room. They both watched from the librarian’s perspective as the marines fought their hardest and brought the emperor’s wrath to the xenos scum but there were just too many Necrons. Toward the end, of the feed they both focused on the Brother Martain’s killer. His face vaguely familiar. Then they both heard Martain speak. “Brother Gregor?” Both men felt a chill.

“Did he just say…”

“Yes he did Maarc” Anger swelled in the Captains eyes. ”Did you know about this?”

“No sir, I had not seen the complete feed until now”

“This is no raiding force, this is a Tombworld! Sound the general alert. There is no telling what might be out there. Prepare all crews to be boarded. Call back the scouts and arm as many men with bolters or whatever else you can find. Shotguns will not be enough.”

“Are we leaving? Shouldn’t we be calling for an Inquisitor for further investigation Captain?”

“And let some fraking big nosed punk try to take my command and root through our business? Not a chance in hell!”

Captain Nierdhan rushed out his chamber door towards the command deck quickly followed by the chaplain.

“What is the plan Captain?” Maarc was almost afraid to ask.

“Superior and overwhelming firepower old friend. Superior and overwhelming firepower!”

hahah oh god this should be good

Yea, I've been waiting a week now! Ship to ship combat? Planet based defenses opening up? Scarab swarms in the service ducts? Crack open the planet and leave Vezbael homeless?

I'm with PrivatePanic! I'm excited to see what happens.

This is set up to be epic, looking forward to an update

I have just finished reading everything, and so far my favourite part is the necron lord's reaction to being called soulless.

Ok, havent had much time lately but I got just a little tid-bit here for anyone interested.

The conference chamber had an ominous silence about it. No one moved or made a sound. All Eyes were locked on Dyamarkh. His thinly veiled threat was not well received by any lord in that room. I’sept remained collected. He had not won so many battles over the millions of years due to his lack of patience.

“Guards” I’sept called the five lychguard who were standing watch outside the conference chamber. All armed with warscythes, they appeared to be more executioners than guards. All five surrounded Dyamarkh and motioned to remove him from his place at the conference table. Orders did not have to be spoken to the lychguard; they were transmitted through the Necrons command network. A very secure network even to other Necron Lords of the same dynasty. No one in the room knew what I’sept planned to do with Dyamarkh. Vezbael was sure the emissary was dead.

“You can leave now Emissary. You will be confined to your guest quarters until I decide your fate. The guards will tend to your needs. I don’t know who or where you or Imotekh think you are, but you will find we treat even our enemies with honor in this house. Threats are generally not looked well upon.” The guards and Dyamarkh moved to the exit of the chambers and then stopped just before leaving. “By the way Dyamarkh” the Phaeron spoke without looking to him. “My answer is 'No'”.

Haha, nice...at least Dyamarkh didn't get Spartan-kicked down a well

Thanks, I will try to post more tonight.

This is looking to be pretty good stuff! My question, though is: Ultramarines 13th company? I'm pretty sure they would consider any deviations from their Codex as blatant heresy or some sort. Perhaps an explanation there?
Other than that, keep it up. I am just loving the exchanges between the Necron royalty, all bickering with each other in endless fashion.

OK so I know its been over a year, everybody has probaly forgoten about the unfinished uh... masterpiece... lol... but is anybody interested in the story continuing anymore? If so I will start to pick it up were we left off with the space marien captain about launch an all out attack on the necron tombworld... anybody...anybody?

Although I find your lack of respect for Marines disturbing, I recommend you to continue your story.

Lack of respect!? LOL, I make no bone about it sir... I despise marines... but, this is probably the most respect I have ever given them. I am trying to portray them as something more human, more like a modern special forces unit with acual decisions having to be made and and having a conscience about their repercusions. Not the typical, mindless "for the emporer" garbage. That stuff is just so uninteresting and boring.

BTW, Thank you for reading, I will try to have something new this weekend.

I second continuing this story even though I'm a fan boy of SM's as this is very good. Just don't go thinking my Panther's would so easily be slain by your walking bath tubs.

Strength and honour! - Captain Agathon 7th company

LOL walking bath tubs!? Thats a new one. Thanks for reading! I will start tonight.

Ok so here we go again... the next chapter of "Awakening"


There was a heavy tension in the air. No one wanted to be the next to speak. I’Sept stared unmoved by what had just transpired. This was just the way things were done under his command. The U’shang was founded on the concepts of respect and honor. I’Sept would tolerate nothing that would violate either of them. The result would have been the same if Imotekh himself would have made the statement. Though the consequences would likely be far more complicated than the fate of a single emissary.

“Imotekh has betrayed the original glory of our past. We owe what we have become to the Star Gods… for better or worse. The Silent Kings will was to betray the Star Gods and hunt them down, enslave them to their own will. Although this was not my chosen path, this was the path of those I wad sworn to serve. They are no longer in our equation. The U’Shang will now travel down its own path. The path I see as the only honorable path. The Nightbringer, our patron, is claimed to be shattered unto a million shards. We will gather what is left of the C’tan. Collect the shards, reunite them to the glory they once were. Together, we will restore ourselves back to our proper place in the galaxy. We will rule one again and honor will be restored.”

“Phaeron” Spoke Anrakyr for the first time since they were all seated. “Please pardon my interruption, but I have come here for the sole purpose of confirming your loyalty to the Triarch. If this is the path you have already chosen, I accept this as your answer and ask to be excused from your noble presence.”

“The Triarch is gone Anrakyr, who do you serve? An empty throne room?” Asked Vezbael.

“In essence… No. We serve the last commands of the Triarch, their ideology, their vision, their wisdom young Lord.” The Traveler replied. “The Kings will return and it is our duty…"

“And who will be there to interpret their commands in this indefinite absence Anrakyr? Interrupted I’Sept. “You? Imotekh? Me? No, no, no. If the Silent Kings were ever to return, they would once again have my sword. My entire empire would be at their disposal and I would be honored to serve in their presence once again. But I have been searching for the last 50000 cycles.” The group of lords were shocked by this claim. “Yes none of you have been aware that I have been active so long. Go ahead and absorb that. I have been watching all of you very carefully. Watching as our people have slept, Slowly reawakened and fallen back into slumber. To be crushed by the very worlds that were to keep them safe, to be content to remain in stasis as the universe exchanges hands over and over. I have watched our people slip in and out of civil war for table scraps when they should destroy those who encroach within light-years of their systems. No, Anrakyr, these empty thrones will not return, and not one of has any right to lay claim to them. Not Imotekh, not you, not me. With that being said, you know my position, Anrakyr, you are free to leave.”

Anrakyr paused for a moment then stood. “Then sadly I have your answer Phaeron. I too look forward to the day when we once again stand at the side of the Triarch. I believe we will reach that time sooner that you think. Until then, thank you for this audience.” He respectfully bowed towards the Phaeron, then the lords and walked out of the chambers.

“As for the rest of you, consider this your opportunity to leave as well. You have all served the Triarch with what honor is left in you… You can continue to linger here in space or you can rebuild with me. No this though once you leave these walls you will never return. You are not my enemy but you are not my ally. Should you stand in the way of the Necrontyr destiny, I will crush you. What say you?”
The chamber was silent. Then the first lord stood. Then the rest. All the lords stood up and silently walked out of the chambers. Most of them with their heads held low in shame and fear. All except one. One who had recently felt the rush of battle. One who had sent a glimpse of what could be the next evolution of their army. One who was recently reminded of what it meant to be a lord in the U’Shang Dynasty.

“I serve you Phaeron” Vezbael vowed. “For the honor and glory of the Necrontyr, I serve you my Phaeron.”

“Good Vezbael, then we have work to do…”


comments please...

Wow, that old bath tube has spunk. I thought this new entry into the archives was rather good. You get a real sense of greatness and power from Phaeron when he speaks. nice work.

Question - what army size does Phaeron command now that the lords have walked out on him bar one?