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I was thinking of the ancient, old days, when I went through Marine boot camp (went in as a reservist, thank you very much)and some of the chuckle heads that were in my training platoon.
We had one guy that, bless his heart, wouldn't have been able to find his own ass with both hands and a map. He had a guaranteed Aviation Electronics billet as part of his sign up. At graduation, which I have no clue as to how he made it, he was instead assigned as field radio man. He asked what happened to Aviation Electronics and was told that he duffed it in the recieving barracks and was instead given the next related billet. While not so much a whopper he totaly got sucked in by the omission of the little gem that if he messed up on the tests in recieving barracks, he was hosed.
I remember the look on his face when he learned he had been had. It was made worse by the fact that he talked daily of how he was going to work on planes.
My wife's ex-husband was a USMC Recruiter, weirdly enough. As a compulsive liar who enjoys killing stuff, it was a pretty good fit. He'd say anything it took to make his numbers.
lord_blackfang wrote: Respect to the guy who subscribed just to post a massive ASCII dong in the chat and immediately get banned.
Flinty wrote: The benefit of slate is that its.actually a.rock with rock like properties. The downside is that it's a rock
I always enjoy hearing how soldiers Recruiters screwed them over. First off they tell war stories and glamorize the fun to be had. I had a lot of fun but most the time one had to embrace the suck. Its those bastards in MEPPS that goes off your ASVAB score who shows what MOS's you qualify for are the ones you have to watch out for. They make a freaking a Laundry Tech MOS sound glorious as all Hell.
Laundry Tech watches over six huge washing machines and dryer's and wash serviceble uniforms to go back in service
Proud Member of the Infidels of OIF/OEF
No longer defending the US Military or US Gov't. Just going to ""**feed into your fears**"" with Duffel Blog Did not fight my way up on top the food chain to become a Vegan...
Warning: Stupid Allergy
Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend
DE 6700
Harlequin 2500
RIP Muhammad Ali.
Jihadin, Scorched Earth 791. Leader of the Pork Eating Crusader. Alpha
The best I heard was a guy that had an Air Force recruiter telling him during boot, that he'd have weekends off and the traiining days were 8 hours long.
He had a party the night before he left where a couple of his girl friends picked a side of his head and gave it their favorite haircut. He then went the next day on the bus, with four suitcases, laughing , joking, and playing his walkman(old days), while everyone else around him was trying to sit at attention.
I leavie it to the imagination what happened when he got off the bus, except to say he filled a large part of his DI's universe.
Jihadin wrote: I always enjoy hearing how soldiers Recruiters screwed them over. First off they tell war stories and glamorize the fun to be had. I had a lot of fun but most the time one had to embrace the suck. Its those bastards in MEPPS that goes off your ASVAB score who shows what MOS's you qualify for are the ones you have to watch out for. They make a freaking a Laundry Tech MOS sound glorious as all Hell.
Laundry Tech watches over six huge washing machines and dryer's and wash serviceble uniforms to go back in service
I tried to fiqure out what this paragraph said. But all the appreviations make it confusion.
Jihadins dirty secret is that if he can't get at least one military related acronym into a post he feels less of a man and more of a failure.I now use every acronym as an opportunity to learn something i'll never have a use for.
MOS = The United States Army uses various personnel management systems to classify soldiers in different specialties. Enlisted soldiers are categorized by their assigned job called a military occupational specialty, or MOS. Each MOS are labeled with a short alphanumerical code called a military occupational specialty code (MOSC), which consists of a two-digit number appended by a Latin letter. Related MOSs are grouped together by Career Management Fields (CMF). For example, an enlisted soldier with MOSC 11B works as an infantryman (his MOS), and is part of CMF 11 (the CMF for infantry).
Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."
Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"
Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST"
Bullockist wrote: Jihadins dirty secret is that if he can't get at least one military related acronym into a post he feels less of a man and more of a failure.I now use every acronym as an opportunity to learn something i'll never have a use for.
MOS = The United States Army uses various personnel management systems to classify soldiers in different specialties. Enlisted soldiers are categorized by their assigned job called a military occupational specialty, or MOS. Each MOS are labeled with a short alphanumerical code called a military occupational specialty code (MOSC), which consists of a two-digit number appended by a Latin letter. Related MOSs are grouped together by Career Management Fields (CMF). For example, an enlisted soldier with MOSC 11B works as an infantryman (his MOS), and is part of CMF 11 (the CMF for infantry).
stolen directly from wikipedia.
Here you go B...
Crash course for you with your fav Actor to help you understand the military lingo a bit. Those of you who are clueless with joining the military should ask for clarification
NSFW, L, ALCOHOL
Spoiler:
Edit
B
Want to chill with the "insult"
he can't get at least one military related acronym into a post he feels less of a man and more of a failure
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/08/27 07:39:44
Proud Member of the Infidels of OIF/OEF
No longer defending the US Military or US Gov't. Just going to ""**feed into your fears**"" with Duffel Blog Did not fight my way up on top the food chain to become a Vegan...
Warning: Stupid Allergy
Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend
DE 6700
Harlequin 2500
RIP Muhammad Ali.
Jihadin, Scorched Earth 791. Leader of the Pork Eating Crusader. Alpha
Bullockist wrote: Jihadins dirty secret is that if he can't get at least one military related acronym into a post he feels less of a man and more of a failure.I now use every acronym as an opportunity to learn something i'll never have a use for.
MOS = The United States Army uses various personnel management systems to classify soldiers in different specialties. Enlisted soldiers are categorized by their assigned job called a military occupational specialty, or MOS. Each MOS are labeled with a short alphanumerical code called a military occupational specialty code (MOSC), which consists of a two-digit number appended by a Latin letter. Related MOSs are grouped together by Career Management Fields (CMF). For example, an enlisted soldier with MOSC 11B works as an infantryman (his MOS), and is part of CMF 11 (the CMF for infantry).
stolen directly from wikipedia.
It's almost like when someone uses acronyms in a culture that everyone understands them, for like that for 20 years, it becomes a habit. Who'd a thunk it?
This reminds me of my uncle explaining to me in the pub one day why he ended up in his trade in the British army.
My uncle joined the army at 16 and went to the Army Technical College at Chepstow, and near the end of his training they got all the trainees together and a member of each trade gave a little presentation on why they should apply for that particular job.
My uncle is quite technically minded so he was looking at joining either the Royal Engineers or the REME - for those not familiar with the British Army, the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers - basically the lads and lasses who fix vehicles (also sometimes referred to as wReck Everything Mechanical Eventually for some strange reason ).
Then an NCO from the Royal Ordnance Army Corps steps up and does his spiel on the trade of Ammunition Technician. He's got a good spiel with lots of encouraging and interesting points about how they maintain and look after all of the ammunition for the army, covering everything from 9mm rounds right the way up to guided missiles and artillery shells. Can get posted all over the world, enhanced pay and rapid promotion - all sounds very good. Then at the very end of his talk he has a minor coughing fit and mumbles something that a lot of people don't quite catch. Including my uncle.
Said uncle, his mind made up, immediately signs up for the Ammo Tech trade after passing all the relevant aptitude tests with flying colours and is a happy chappy.
Until he looks at the schedule for his training and finds out that the mumbled bit at the end of the presentation was to inform any potential recruits of the little matter that an Ammo Tech in the British Army also has to undergo training on how to deal with and if necessary make safe explosive devices. In simple terms, he'd also signed up to be in Bomb Disposal. In the British Army. In 1977. In the midst of The Troubles.
Needless to say when I was looking at the army as a career his words of wisdom to me were 'Don't sign up for anything without running it past me first'......
"It makes no difference what men think of war, said the judge. War endures. As well ask men what they think of stone. War was always here. Before man was, war waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting the ultimate practitioner."
I remember when I signed up - I had my dad and brother to give me advice - and a 98 ASVAB score... but I wanted to do commo because of the relative availability of class dates and my recruiter described every single MOS in the commo branch the same, verbatim.
"You'll work with computers, and satellites, and radios."
God forbid the difference between a 31R and 31M - god knows what they are now.
God forbid the difference between a 31R and 31M - god knows what they are now.
When I signed up, I quickly realized the difference between the Commo guys, and my MOS: I can actually do my job (seriously, the, now 25B cannot do their jobs, because they're that inept)
Honestly, I think I got fairly "lucky" with the guys at MEPS because the career counselor there saw my ASVAB and immediately asked me, "did you have any jobs you had in mind before today?" as opposed to trying to pigeon hole me into something I was clearly "too smart" for
So, I signed up for 33W, some money and MGIB... Little did I realize that I could ask for, and get things like Airborne (which, it turns out, as a dumb 18 year old, I wanted to do that) or Air Assault, etc.
God forbid the difference between a 31R and 31M - god knows what they are now.
When I signed up, I quickly realized the difference between the Commo guys, and my MOS: I can actually do my job (seriously, the, now 25B cannot do their jobs, because they're that inept)
Honestly, I think I got fairly "lucky" with the guys at MEPS because the career counselor there saw my ASVAB and immediately asked me, "did you have any jobs you had in mind before today?" as opposed to trying to pigeon hole me into something I was clearly "too smart" for
So, I signed up for 33W, some money and MGIB... Little did I realize that I could ask for, and get things like Airborne (which, it turns out, as a dumb 18 year old, I wanted to do that) or Air Assault, etc.
Airborne.....Ft. Bragg, deployment, Ft. Bragg, Deployment, Ft. Bragg, put yourself on Levy to South Korea to avoid deployment, Back to Ft Bragg, Deployment....
Air Assault.....Ft Campbell, deployment, Ft Campbell, deployment, beg to go on levy to South Korea, back to Ft Campbell, Deployment....
Boomarang has a new name called Ensis......
Get both then your screwed
Get Pathfinder then your really screwed
Proud Member of the Infidels of OIF/OEF
No longer defending the US Military or US Gov't. Just going to ""**feed into your fears**"" with Duffel Blog Did not fight my way up on top the food chain to become a Vegan...
Warning: Stupid Allergy
Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend
DE 6700
Harlequin 2500
RIP Muhammad Ali.
Jihadin, Scorched Earth 791. Leader of the Pork Eating Crusader. Alpha
Airborne.....Ft. Bragg, deployment, Ft. Bragg, Deployment, Ft. Bragg, put yourself on Levy to South Korea to avoid deployment, Back to Ft Bragg, Deployment....
Air Assault.....Ft Campbell, deployment, Ft Campbell, deployment, beg to go on levy to South Korea, back to Ft Campbell, Deployment....
Boomarang has a new name called Ensis......
Get both then your screwed
Get Pathfinder then your really screwed
Lol, I'm out now... remember?? (I got too old physically for this gak) and either way... I never got either, even though my last duty station was Campbell (thank the gods, all of them that I wasn't a Rakkasan!)
Became a FISTER with Airborne option went to Korea
Reclassed to Crew Chief and went to Korea
Arrived at Fort Campbell...made my 5 but for me to hold a Leadership position I had to go to Air Assault School
Went to 160th and did a walk in on a Pathfinder class down at Benning on 30 day leave with all intention to do
Got punished for and sent to SERE school (those fethers)
Back to Ft Bragg via Korea since I was a Pathfinder sent to Jumpmaster School (Required of me to being in a Leadership position)
Got lucky and sent to K-Town Germany WOOT
Made a move down to Vicenza Italy..picked up my Six
DA made me transistion over to Logistical Branch being our MOS was over strength in Aviation for my rank
Slammed into Movement team....selected for 7....
Edit
First tour Korea went to Bragg
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/08/27 23:31:58
Proud Member of the Infidels of OIF/OEF
No longer defending the US Military or US Gov't. Just going to ""**feed into your fears**"" with Duffel Blog Did not fight my way up on top the food chain to become a Vegan...
Warning: Stupid Allergy
Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend
DE 6700
Harlequin 2500
RIP Muhammad Ali.
Jihadin, Scorched Earth 791. Leader of the Pork Eating Crusader. Alpha
Have a buddy that was a recruiter. Never told lies, said exactly what the Army was. Not one kid listened to him. Everybody wants to be a Ranger I guess.
Best stuff when I went through MEPPS was all the Navy guys that joined up to be SEALS. Hahaha best I could tell them with a straight face was good luck with that.
Me, my recruiter didn't know what the hell the MOS I picked even did. Turns out neither did I. Bonus points is that nobody knows what the hell I actually do and nobody that joined the job seems to either. hahahaha.
Became a FISTER with Airborne option went to Korea
That has to be the best acronym yet.
"what do you do for a job?"
""ï'm a FISTER""
Sorry about the ""insult Jihadin"", ?I thought I made it so over the top that no one could take it seriously and thus the comment as well.I'll look at that video when I'm not at work, hope it's as good as duffleblog.
Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."
Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"
Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST"
Me, my recruiter didn't know what the hell the MOS I picked even did. Turns out neither did I. Bonus points is that nobody knows what the hell I actually do and nobody that joined the job seems to either. hahahaha.
What MOS was that?? Because, the one that I picked way back in 04, my recruiter asked what I chose, and responded with "that sounds like you'll be doing some James Bond gak" (sadly, I didnt)
Now see, I was upset that the navy was not hundreds of men singing and dancing
Lol, if I were to judge each branch by the recruiters in my home town, at the time I was joining... Well, the USMC reminded me far too much of Cybermen/Full Metal Jacket. The Air Force was NEVER in their office (which should have told me something), the Army guys were pretty normal... a chunky-ish dude in phenominal shape and a rail thin smoker in even better shape. And the Coasties who had the back office and would have looked more at home at Gencon or Comicon .... Then there was the Navy... and about the only thing to say about them is, holy cow... I didn't know they made government office furniture in that size
U.S. COAST GUARD ENLISTMENT OATH
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I know being in the real military scares me. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. I understand that atleast twice a day, someone will refer to me a member of the Air Force or Navy, and when I correct them, they will question my military status. I will work on boats the size of kayaks and small yachts during the worst of natures storms, and recieve no thanks or notice form the public. I will fly in helos into the eye of the storm to rescue people dumber then rocks, and then be heckled by the same people when I bust them for transporting drugs two months later.! I will prevent thousands of gallons of pollution, but be accused of impeding the economy when I won't allow vessels to pour oil into the ocean. I will be the red-headed step child to all of the other services, although I know I got the better deal. All of my equipment will be discarded Navy property. I will use most of my time in the Coast Guard to take college classes, and perfect my web surfing abilities, then complain that I work too much. I will perfect avoiding PT at all costs, and do my best to attend training that will give me a great competitive edge in the career field of my choice, making retention efforts of the Coast Guard pointless. I will come in contact with so many pollutants during my tenure, I will glow in the dark for the rest of my natural life and refer to myself as "salty" because of it. I will do my best to work 8 to 3, with a two hour lunch, on normal days, and have my pager and cell phone surgically attached, SO HELP ME GOD.
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Signature
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Date
US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!"
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US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my otherwise mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a court-martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job up! on separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So Help Me God!"
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US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer,! and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"
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US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (pick a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies....kill....fix bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn....blowup....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors wives.....air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny....grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!"
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Became a FISTER with Airborne option went to Korea
That has to be the best acronym yet.
"what do you do for a job?"
""ï'm a FISTER""
Sorry about the ""insult Jihadin"", ?I thought I made it so over the top that no one could take it seriously and thus the comment as well.I'll look at that video when I'm not at work, hope it's as good as duffleblog.
Forward Observer. I'm the guy that calls on "God" for indirect fire support and Combat Air Support.
Proud Member of the Infidels of OIF/OEF
No longer defending the US Military or US Gov't. Just going to ""**feed into your fears**"" with Duffel Blog Did not fight my way up on top the food chain to become a Vegan...
Warning: Stupid Allergy
Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend
DE 6700
Harlequin 2500
RIP Muhammad Ali.
Jihadin, Scorched Earth 791. Leader of the Pork Eating Crusader. Alpha
I met a guy who did that for the Australian army , apparently he was a sapper or something, but went out in a small team ( i think it was 2-5 people- I cannot remember exactly) to scout ahead and call down fire ect. Interesting guy. Sounds like a stressful job, he did 2 tours of Iraq then got kicked out by over a disagreement with an officer.
Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."
Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"
Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST"
I remember when I started getting calls from recruiters after I graduated high school, my Dad who was in the army for 8 years as a scout and a Bradley tank commander, gave me two pieces of advice.
1. Be nice to these guys, because they have a stressful and very thankless job
2. Don't believe a single word they say about "job perks"
'I've played Guard for years, and the best piece of advice is to always utilize the Guard's best special rule: "we roll more dice than you" ' - stormleader
"Sector Imperialis: 25mm and 40mm Round Bases (40+20) 26€ (Including 32 skulls for basing) " GW design philosophy in a nutshell
Bullockist wrote: I met a guy who did that for the Australian army , apparently he was a sapper or something, but went out in a small team ( i think it was 2-5 people- I cannot remember exactly) to scout ahead and call down fire ect. Interesting guy. Sounds like a stressful job, he did 2 tours of Iraq then got kicked out by over a disagreement with an officer.
As a Sapper Soldier myself I think either you mixed the story up or he BS'd you. Sapper is a pretty universal concept to western military. That being said it is entirely possible that he was in small teams attached to infantry for the purpose of mine clearing. Or Forward Observers (the dudes who call for fire). Or possibly was a signed the duty of calling for fire in his platoon (I've had that honor myself).
Odds are he big fish storied you hahaha. Military loves their big fish stories. (Everybody gets kicked out for disagreeing with Officers or Senior NCOs for some reason...yet I've never seen it happen. )
Odds are he big fish storied you hahaha. Military loves their big fish stories. (Everybody gets kicked out for disagreeing with Officers or Senior NCOs for some reason...yet I've never seen it happen. )
It could have been a "disagreement" at a bar or some such
5000pts 
6000pts 
3000pts
4000+
6000+ Order. Unity. Obedience.
Thousand Sons 4000+
).
(seriously, the, now 25B cannot do their jobs, because they're that inept)
