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So this has come up twice in the past month in FB threads that I've been a part of, mostly as a condescending way to basically say, "you're a man, your opinion doesn't count here."

I guess my real question is why is this vernacular acceptable? I've read a few articles on it online, and to me all they're doing is making excuses for their misandry.

Bear in mind that neither time has it come in an instance where the poster (it wasn't me, in one case) wasnt trying to explain something, but was rather simply disagreeing or asking a question.

So...someone help me here. I don't understand it.

I've not encountered this phrase but I look forward to it sweeping across the internet like a plague.

Soon all internet arguments will become exchanges of single word answers.

It's intended as a term to mock men who feel the need to explain things to women (in a condescending tone), but yes. I have noticed that the term gets thrown around at times at people for seemingly no reason other than disagreeing with something. Maybe an extreme case of overreaction and Poe's Law?

Don't forget smileys

Read the comments section of Huffington Post and you'll see this term come up a bit.

My understanding of the term is hazy, but it seems to have be borne out of the frustration women often feel when men condescendingly "explain" things to them (especially things the woman already knows) out of some sense of authority on the man's part because he is a man (and regardless of his knowledge of the topic). I've seen this happen (and have been guilty of it myself as well) so the term seems legitimate enough.

I have seen it used to shut down male opinions (again, on sites like HuffPost) lately, so I think it is another term that is literally ( )changing its definition as its popularity increases.

You really don't want me to contribute here... I think I'd get in trouble.

Suffice to say, that this term is a basic ad hominem attack (attacking the person making the point rather than the point itself).

When someone starts throwing this word around... just feth with them and do your own thing.

Me? I'd escalate it to ridiculous levels.

ie, "'Mansplaining?' Are we still in high school?"

I long for a day when "mansplaining" and "check your priviledge" are just a bad memory.

Dismissing someone because they are a man is as wrong as dismissing someone because they are a woman, and I am fairly sure that is the consensus here.

 jasper76 wrote:
I long for a day when "mansplaining" and "check your priviledge" are just a bad memory.

There's a virus going around making people stupider. You won't find the day those are bad memories. Given time, you'll be longing for the good old days of mansplaination and the checking of priviledge.

I became a teacher so I could mansplain all day long.

 Ashiraya wrote:
Dismissing someone because they are a man is as wrong as dismissing someone because they are a woman, and I am fairly sure that is the consensus here.

See.... I think so too, but in these conversations its been seen as not only acceptable, but other woman have, effectively, cheered about it.

Sigh....

I bet someone out there created a check your privilege app.

 daedalus wrote:

 jasper76 wrote:
I long for a day when "mansplaining" and "check your priviledge" are just a bad memory.

There's a virus going around making people stupider. You won't find the day those are bad memories. Given time, you'll be longing for the good old days of mansplaination and the checking of priviledge.

I just wonder when being a white male becomes a crime, will I get a pass because I'm Irish?

I'm 1/8 Irish. Nevermind the fact that I was born in England and have lived in England all my life, I have Irish blood so I'm a victim too.

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

 Shadow Captain Edithae wrote:
I'm 1/8 Irish. Nevermind the fact that I was born in England and have lived in England all my life, I have Irish blood so I'm a victim too.

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

You need to stop mansplaining and check your 7/8ths privilege. The good 1/8 does get a pass, though.

It's a bad term because it stereotypes the inappropriate behavior in question as "man" thing and ignores the fact that women can do it too, but the basic concept is a relevant one. Way too many people think that their opinion as an outside observer is more important than the opinions of the people who are actually involved in a given situation, and so you get awkward "let me tell you how I'm an expert on your life" conversations. At best it is an awkward eyeroll moment where you just wish the person would STFU and stop digging their hole even deeper, at worst it drives the people with direct experience of a problem out of the discussion and lets it be dominated by uninformed outsiders. So we shouldn't stereotype it as a "man" thing, but we shouldn't pretend that it isn't bad behavior or a legitimate problem.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 jasper76 wrote:
I long for a day when "mansplaining" and "check your priviledge" are just a bad memory.

And I long for the day when people stop dismissing relevant concepts because the words are "silly" and/or they have the privilege of dismissing it as "tumblr feminiazis" or "SJWs" or whatever other ridiculous cliche is popular these days.

@Oeregrine: you just admitted the phrase is ridiculous (I'm sorry, you can't take the "man" out of "mansplaining") , and in the same post call other people out for claiming its ridiculoius.

Unconfuse yourself, or make up your mind

 jasper76 wrote:
@Oeregrine: you just admitted the phrase is ridiculous (I'm sorry, you can't take the "man" out of "mansplaining") , and in the same post call other people out for claiming its ridiculoius.

Unconfuse yourself, or make up your mind

He clearly makes a distinction between the concept in itself and the word used to describe it. Hardly confusing.

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:
He clearly makes a distinction between the concept in itself and the word used to describe it. Hardly confusing.

Exactly. The argument I'm objecting to is "someone used a silly name to talk about X therefore I can just ignore X", where people just post nonsense like "lol mainsplaining tumblr feminazi SJWs" and act like that's all that needs to be said about the issue.

I'm going to hold my hand up and my head down to say that I've done the whole mansplaining thing before. And to be honest, the specific incident when I realised it still has me thinking about it quite often more than 5 years later.

Firstly, my apologies to anyone for any rationalisation / excuses. However, on with the story.

I've had 2 IT jobs in my life. One was in my early 20's, in a gap period in university and the other is my current job.

My first IT job, I guess you could say, was a little bit 'old world order.' And it was, well, my first IT job so my knowledge of the industry was pretty much non existent. In any case, it was an office environment and in many ways, it was pretty much the exact stereotype. In other words, the women in that office, at that time, which I worked there and whom I interacted with on a regular basis, just did not know computer-ey stuff. In fact, I'd often get scowled and sneered at if I started mentioning 'technical rubbish' to my various bosses.

I then returned to university, to my Computing classes, where, again, there were very few women on my course and none of whom, who I interacted with at that time, displayed to me much aptitude to computing.

And see. This is where I made my mistake. I graduated, entered my new job, big business, lots of people. Then, pretty much in my first week, the newbies of my recruitment intake went for a night out.

In any case, we were sitting in the pub, one the guys, way smarter than me, an actual proper PHD in computing, whereas I was just a graduate, was talking about some really technical computery stuff and I, took it upon myself to assume that the girl sitting at the table, who was recruited as a project manager, had no idea what the guy was talking about.

I assumed I was helping, I thought I was basically translating, this technical gibberish for her.

What I was actually doing, was mansplaining. I had unconsciously made the summation that, "as the women I have interacted with in the past had little technical knowledge and understanding, most if not all women were not technical."

In short. This wasn't cool.

What kind of makes it even sadder, was the girl never said a word about this, just politely sat there, probably trying to ignore the complete rubbish I was spouting. She more than likely knew more about the subject than I did. It was either the guy telling the story, or another one of the guys at the table, which had to say to me, not making a big deal about it or anything, but it was just a simple. "Dude, <Insertpersonnamehere> knows this stuff, you don't need to do that."

Usually I have a good idea when I'm being a jerk about something, but that just caused a mental blue screen of death for me (to continue with the technology angle).

And yeah, years later, I still feel quite horrible about it. What really hits it home, though, is that many women probably put up with that all day and every day and don't say a word about it. If that guy hadn't piped up, I would have never been the wiser either.

And that is pretty darn sad.

I've used the term 'Mansplaining' once in these very forums.

I feel no guilt. None!

My concern is that the phrase seems to be VERY acceptable in some circles, as a end all, be all way to shut down a conversation and dismiss an argument, most notably from a male.

 Peregrine wrote:

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:
He clearly makes a distinction between the concept in itself and the word used to describe it. Hardly confusing.

Exactly. The argument I'm objecting to is "someone used a silly name to talk about X therefore I can just ignore X", where people just post nonsense like "lol mainsplaining tumblr feminazi SJWs" and act like that's all that needs to be said about the issue.

Fair enough. This is a bit of a hot button for me, because I have seen this phrase used in a proffessional environment in an attempt to get someone out of being told how to perform a task they clearly didn't understand how to do. And if you can't do your job because your not willing to have someone "mansplain" it to you, a line has been crossed IMO.

 Compel wrote:
I'm going to hold my hand up and my head down to say that I've done the whole mansplaining thing before. And to be honest, the specific incident when I realised it still has me thinking about it quite often more than 5 years later.

Firstly, my apologies to anyone for any rationalisation / excuses. However, on with the story.

I've had 2 IT jobs in my life. One was in my early 20's, in a gap period in university and the other is my current job.

My first IT job, I guess you could say, was a little bit 'old world order.' And it was, well, my first IT job so my knowledge of the industry was pretty much non existent. In any case, it was an office environment and in many ways, it was pretty much the exact stereotype. In other words, the women in that office, at that time, which I worked there and whom I interacted with on a regular basis, just did not know computer-ey stuff. In fact, I'd often get scowled and sneered at if I started mentioning 'technical rubbish' to my various bosses.

I then returned to university, to my Computing classes, where, again, there were very few women on my course and none of whom, who I interacted with at that time, displayed to me much aptitude to computing.

And see. This is where I made my mistake. I graduated, entered my new job, big business, lots of people. Then, pretty much in my first week, the newbies of my recruitment intake went for a night out.

In any case, we were sitting in the pub, one the guys, way smarter than me, an actual proper PHD in computing, whereas I was just a graduate, was talking about some really technical computery stuff and I, took it upon myself to assume that the girl sitting at the table, who was recruited as a project manager, had no idea what the guy was talking about.

I assumed I was helping, I thought I was basically translating, this technical gibberish for her.

What I was actually doing, was mansplaining. I had unconsciously made the summation that, "as the women I have interacted with in the past had little technical knowledge and understanding, most if not all women were not technical."

In short. This wasn't cool.

What kind of makes it even sadder, was the girl never said a word about this, just politely sat there, probably trying to ignore the complete rubbish I was spouting. She more than likely knew more about the subject than I did. It was either the guy telling the story, or another one of the guys at the table, which had to say to me, not making a big deal about it or anything, but it was just a simple. "Dude, <Insertpersonnamehere> knows this stuff, you don't need to do that."

Usually I have a good idea when I'm being a jerk about something, but that just caused a mental blue screen of death for me (to continue with the technology angle).

And yeah, years later, I still feel quite horrible about it. What really hits it home, though, is that many women probably put up with that all day and every day and don't say a word about it. If that guy hadn't piped up, I would have never been the wiser either.

And that is pretty darn sad.

Reminds me of a time my friend was trying to explain each play during a football game to a girl in our group who not only knew the rules of football and had better knowledge of the game than him, but was also a referee for high school football.

 cincydooley wrote:
My concern is that the phrase seems to be VERY acceptable in some circles, as a end all, be all way to shut down a conversation and dismiss an argument, most notably from a male.

I would say just quit the circle if they're going to dismiss you simply because of gender

Mansplaining is, in it's simplest terms, removing a person's ability to comment on something because he has a penis/Y chromosome.

 jasper76 wrote:
I just wonder when being a white male becomes a crime, will I get a pass because I'm Irish?

Nope

 Shadow Captain Edithae wrote:
I'm 1/8 Irish. Nevermind the fact that I was born in England and have lived in England all my life, I have Irish blood so I'm a victim too.

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

I'm 100% Irish, and we traditionally don't play the victim card. We get another round in and get on with things

That's potentially another good example too. "If the person was explaining the game to say, a British male, who was heavily into sport, but unfamiliar with the specifics of American football, the same way, in the same tone?" If the answer is 'no' then it's probably what's generally seen as mansplaining.

There are genuine, polite ways to explain concepts to people without being a jerk.

Funnily enough, I'm now in a team where there aren't a lot of particularly computer-ey-technical people again (some male, some female), where I end needing to explain a lot of technical-ish concepts to them (EG, tarring files and SCP between servers). It quite often comes down to little caveats like, "getting the order right can always be a bit tricky when it comes to SCP, how I try to remember it is, it's like an address, me:from/some/place, sending it to someone:some/place."

It describes a thing that exists not just in a man-on-feminist-ideas capacity, but generally. The term grew out of a specific frustration with conversations that follow roughly one of these templates.

Woman: I had an experience once. I did not like it.
Dudebro: No you didn't - here's what really happened, and how/why you made the mistake of thinking that happened once. As you can see from my logic, what really happened is clear.

Woman: I don't like it when people say this thing about women, it doesn't apply to me personally.
Neckbeard: Yes it does, even if you don't want to admit it. Here's general scenario that I'm going to say applies to you. You can see I've proved with my logic how it applies to you.

Woman: There's a problem and I'm frustrated by the lack of solutions.
Neckbro: Sure there is. Have you tried obvious solution that would be the first thing anyone would think of? I'm sure you didn't because there is no way there are obstacles or constraints I don't understand. Clearly you're just looking for something to be upset about if you're ignoring obvious solution.

Woman: This thing is rather unfair and well documented.
Dudebeard: That thing isn't very important compared to this other thing, because this other thing is about men. That's the real issue here.


I mean there are others too but this touches a few biggies. It's certainly not something only men do, or that only happens in the context of women's issues. However in the context of women's issues there are a lot of dudes doing a lot of the above. Some snarky terminology to help put down/call out the behavior was probably just a natural result of that.

EDIT: If it helps you in future conversations, you can basically do a substitution so any time someone says "You are Mansplaining" you can read it as

"You're being a presumptuous know-it-all, and a bit of an donkey-cave. Step back and take more than a moment to consider if it's possible you might be lacking information here. You've not experienced this issue personally in the same context, if something seems off try and find a way to get an understanding the context before commenting further. If upon immediately reading that the previous sentence an idea of how exactly it "must be" sprang to mind without further investigation: You're being a presumptuous know-it-all and a bit of donkey-cave"

Hah, I'll just copy/paste the exchange:

Person A: "Are you really comparing Viagra and Penis pumps to abortions? I mean, were it up to me insurance wouldn't cover viagra at all."

Person B: "Oh good, just what this thread needs -- some choice mansplaining."

Lol, how are the two things even the same?