Absurd occurences on the TT

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**Selym**

40k is all about forging dat narrative. Dat sweet, sweet narrative.

But sometimes the dice just don't like your narrative. Sometimes in mother Imperium, Narrative Forges You.

This is the thread to share the tall tales, and the butthurt.

For me:

- Space marines vs Space Marines game. I have 5 terminators with one assault cannon. They're about to make a heroic final charge, to take out the enemy command squad. They fire 4 storm bolters and an assault cannon from 6" away.
All shots miss. Not fail to wound, outright miss. They then fail the charge. One termie dies from overwatch. They then get shot up and charged by the enemy marines, and get wiped off the table.
The idiots, instead of just killing the enemy, yelled "Allahu Emprah!" and fired their guns into the air.

-CSM vs Orks. Abaddon and a unit of 10 terminators have a plan. They're gonna deepstrike behind the Ork lines, and take out a wagon full of gitz, and then proceed to roflslaughter everything in walking distance.
Deepstrike. Fire relevant weapons at the wagon. Do nothing. Wagon rolls away. 5 Burnaboyz move in. Shots are fired.
Not one CSM left. Abbadon goes home armless and smelling of roast chicken.

**Otto Weston**

I always bring this up in these threads because I felt it was such an iconic and memorable moment;

My IG versus a Green Tide.

My gunline had failed to stop the Orks from making it to the walls of my Fortress and so I fired the Deathstrike Missile Danger-close. It scattered back onto my Fortress and destroyed 3 sections which killed over 40 Veterans, an Inquisitor and his retinue and my last Tarantula sentry gun. After that, the Orks just washed over the remnants of the fortress and mopped up my survivors.

**beast_gts**

Dark Angels Dreadnought fired a Lascannon into my Kastelan Robots hoping to do some damage before charging them. The robot's force field bounced the shot back at the dreadnought which exploded...

**nou**

Fresh story from this sunday:

Tyranids vs Eldar.

Flyrant gets a single wound from lucky Warp Spiders and crashes down. Survives two turns of close combat with two different units (wiping everything out) and five voleys from shuriken cannons from another two units and a Wave Serpent, all while on the ground, not losing a single wound in the process... He then goes swooping again laughing at those puny Eldar just to peril himself to death with a roll of '1' right after.

Hive mind can apparently literally burst with pride

**Kriswall**

I was playing a game with my Tau Empire versus his Grey Knights/Inquisition/Assassins.

The game came down to 2 lone Fire Warriors and Draigo at full health (4 wounds). Draigo was about 3 inches away and declared a charge. Ugh... I'm totally dead. BUT... Overwatch! The Fire Warriors fire their 4 shots. All 4 hit. All 4 wound. Draigo rolls 4 1's for his 2+ armour save. In a stunning upset, the Tau carry the day.

**General Annoyance**

Back in 5th edition I had a Veteran Sergeant kill Ghazgkull Thraka when he was on his last wound after the turn he declared his Waaagh! and gained a +2 invuln save with a single Laspistol shot. 6 to wound and a failed +2 save.

In another match against Daemons the same Sergeant destroyed a Soul Grinder in close quarters by dropping a Krak Grenade down its neck after it had been hit with a few lascannons in the shooting phase. Another 6 to hit.

Neither of those players were very happy with the heroism of Sgt. Lupo

**LexOdin9**

Wraithknight fires Strength D shot into Kastelan. Hits, rolls 4 to wound. I reflect shot back on 6 on invuln save. Roll 6 to wound. Wraithknight dies.

Here's another one, happened on 2 separate occasions back in 6th when a 6 was an explode result: Guardsman equipped with Krak grenade. Guardsman hurls Krak grenade at Crimson Hunter. Crimson Hunter does not jink. Guardsman hits on a 6. Guardsman pens on a 6. Guardsman rolls explode result on a 6. Dead Crimson Hunter.

**Anubis_513**

Marines vs Tyranids

Back in 2nd ed. (when you could fire into CC)

Company Standard bearer fires his bolt pistol into combat with a terminator fighting 6 hormagaunts. He hits, wounds, and kills his own terminator....with a bolt pistol......to the back......

My second was also in 2nd Marines vs Tyranids:

Dreadnought with multi-melta causes 22 wounds in one shot to a hive tyrant with regeneration (worked a little different in 2nd). The tyrant stood back up, charged the dread, and blew it up........

**pm713**

Multiplayer game I saw a while ago:

Abbadon the Despoiler has charged a unit of Fire Warriors to teach the foolish Xenos the power of Chaos. Seeing a chance to slay the Despoiler the Sanguinor joins the battle but his every attack is parried by Abbadon. Before he can make another attack the Sanguinor is shocked as Abbadon the Chosen of Chaos, Leader of the Black Legion is clubbed to death by mere fire warriors. Truly those who serve Chaos are foolish.

The only other fun story is when my Autarch with a Firesabre set one unit on fire - The Avatar of Khaine. Apparently the lava monster needs to be hotterl.

**kronk**

Black Templars (4th edition codex) versus Tau, 1500 points, 5th edition 40K.

Towards the end of the game, only have 2 marines on my objective. The Tau are camping on 2 objectives. There are 2 kroot on 1 objective, so I split my Emperor's Champion off to take them, then send his small crusader squad to get into assault with the other objective campers.

Last Game Turn:

The crusader squad does their job and ties up the objective campers, so the game is 1 to 1.

My Emperor's champion charges the 2 kroot and misses To-Hit and To-Wound with all attacks. The 2 kroot do 2 wounds, and I roll snake eyes on his armor saves. Dead emperor's champion. Nuts.

Game ends in tie, 1 to 1.

**jreilly89**

Fully kitted out Daemon Prince charges into a squad of 2 Thunderwolves armed only with Bolt Pistols. Does 4 wounds, guy passes three 6+ FNP rolls. He does 2 wounds to my dogs also locked in combat. I lose the assault, fumble my leadership, and my fully kitted full wound Daemon Prince explodes, causing me to lose the game.

**Vankraken**

Fire Warrior Squad vs Imperial Knight: FW unit of 5 charge in fight the Knight with 2 hull points. 2 died from the knights melee attacks, 1 emp grenade hit which took out a HP, 2 more got stomped. The lone survivor passed his leadership 4 test to stay locked into combat. Knight swings next round of combat hitting once, rolled a 1 on the D table, FW hit with the grenade, rolled a 6 on the emp result (for the added salt), and the knight went nuclear and the blast scattered into some nearby ruins. The lone Fire Warrior was wounded but made the cover save from the blast and survived. Consolidated into the ruins. A unit of really angry scions attempted to get revenge for its fallen Knight and shot at the lone FW but he made every cover save and the game ended. That Fire Warrior was one of 5 models in my army to survive that "defeat".

The Warboss's Incompetent Gitz: Flying daemon prince is flapping along above my back field near 3 units of 20 shoota boyz. All 3 units unload into said daemon prince resulting in zero unsaved wounds. Warboss Vankraken was not assumed in his boyz inability to dakka down the zogging chaos git so he showed the boyz how it was done. When rolling the warboss's TL shoota shots I said "watch the warboss show the boyz how its done" and rolled a hit, a wound, and the daemon prince failed his save then failed the grounding check.

**Ashiraya**

I have a tactical squad, my enemy has a tactical squad. I am 7" away, charge through difficult terrain, fail. Alright then. Enemy moves 3" forward through the DT and fail their 4" charge. Uhm. I move forward 3" (can't get closer than 1" ), shoot bolt pistols, kill a few guys, fail the charge. >.>
His turn, he remains stationary to shoot, then decides to charge anyway. Fail the charge.

It continues like this until the game ends.

Crossing a hedge is hard apparently.

**ZergSmasher**

Just the other day I had a Chaos Lord survive a round of combat with a D-thirster. D-thirster didn't roll any 6's so no supersplat, and I made all but one of the 4+ invuln saves for the others. The one that got through only did one wound and my guy had the Bloodforged armor, giving him Eternal Warrior. I pictured the Chaos Lord lifting his helmet and blowing a raspberry at the 'thirster. Which makes sense since he got 6'ed out in the following round of combat (that D-thirster was pissed by then!).

**Tibs Ironblood**

Had my dreadnought charge a single chaos space marine with a plasma gun. He rolls a 6 to hit and a 1. He rolls a 6 to Pen and then another 6 blowing up my unmanaged dreadnought on overwatch. However the marine then failed his gets hit armor save and died.

**Elbows**

What we have to remember about this thread is that this is the very nature of dice/randomness.

What is being decried as weird/impossible/awful is the result of the exact same mathematical likelihood that leads to the equally wonderful moments on the table top.

That one shot, across the board, barely hits...barely wounds...and kills the Greater Demon on the final turn, etc. What we're talking about in this thread is simply the other end of that bell curve of probability.

PS: Yes, I find both ends of the spectrum equally interesting.

**Stormonu**

We joke my son's Necron Deathmarks are really immortals in disguise...

First occurance, the squad of 5 gets charged by a raging swarm of twenty Hormagaunts. After about two rounds and 79 attacks later, the Deathmarks have finished beating the hormagaunts into the dirt and help one of their own stand back up, otherwise completely unharmed.

Bext time, the same Deathmarks intercept a hellhound blob charge. Over the next few rounds, while repeating "bad dog", the Deathmarks once again bludgeon the hellhounds into submission,

Finally, the squad arrives in its latest battle to counter a unit of cataphon (the servitor cetaur tanks) at point blank range. Kills two, the last cataphon, rather than charge, fires a blast weapon hoping to annilate the Deathmarks. Swinging its rifle like a bat, the targeted Deathmark lobs the shot back, causing the template to land on the cataphon and kill itself.

To this date, these pinch hitters have a batting average of 1.0.

**jreilly89**

Elbows wrote:
What we have to remember about this thread is that this is the very nature of dice/randomness.

What is being decried as weird/impossible/awful is the result of the exact same mathematical likelihood that leads to the equally wonderful moments on the table top.

That one shot, across the board, barely hits...barely wounds...and kills the Greater Demon on the final turn, etc. What we're talking about in this thread is simply the other end of that bell curve of probability.

PS: Yes, I find both ends of the spectrum equally interesting.

So? I could die being hit by a bird or lightning. That doesn't make it any less absurd when it happens. This is just a fun thread, no matter how in the realm of possibility it is

**HANZERtank**

Vortex of doom was cast onto my squad of IG vetarans with camo cloaks. D hits cause no 6's and four 1's. I preceded to pass all of my cover saves for their camo cloaks out in the open.

My guys survived a rip into the warp, exposong them to all the terrors and daemons within, by effectively hiding in their hoodies.

Another time my sarge who is model to use a tire iron as his ccw managed three wounds off Asterion Moloc after he failed to connect with all his spear attacks.

**Happyjew**

Involved in a narrative campaign at my local store. I'm the only one who is going with a narrative, and posting a story in between battles (no big deal). Week 4 was a team battle, with both armies being AoC regardless of actual alliance. My Eldar end up working with Chaos Daemons (Tzeentch/Khorne).

Naturally the very next week, I'm up against the Daemon player. First game he does not bring any Tzeentch. So what happens? Half the results on the Warp Storm are the Tzeentch result (whatever it's called), and my one psyker (Farseer) ends up turning into a Herald of Tzeentch due to the Warp. Tzeentch really wanted to be involved in that battle.

As it is, for the story, the Farseer was turned into a Herald of Slaanesh because of course she did.

**tneva82**

IG vs chaos in tournament. I was crushing the chaos(only game all tournament I was doing well). Baneblade was slaughtering stuff left and right but had been put to 1 HP. I just had to clear havocs from ruins and I would snatch victory.

Enter leman russ executioner. FIRE!

Oopsie. 4 templates scattered to middle of nowhere. One template scattered to the baneblade.

...That blew up. Whoopsie.

End result draw. Snatch draw from the claws of victory eh.

**Likan Wolfsheim**

So I've posted this a couple times here, but it still remains probably the craziest (and probably the most cinematic, at least in the mind's eye) thing I've ever had happen in a game. The edition was 5th, I think the time was right around the BA release.

This goes way back to my first IG army. My kid brother had just started his CSM army. It was either our first or second game, I remember most of his stuff were really loyalist models pressed into service as their Chaos counterparts. We had 2000 point armies and the game was the multiple objectives one in 5th edition. As such, I broke up my two 50-man blobs of Guardsmen into ten-man squads and had them running all over the place supporting my tanks and whatnot.

At some point I diverted my Devildogs (I loved this bloody tank) and a Chimera command squad along with a nearby group of footsloggers to deal with a Chaos Rhino trying to circumnavigate around the big gorefest in the centre of the board to get an objective with a winged Daemon Prince of Khorne rushing to the scene. So by the time the Daemon gets there the scoring threat of Rhino+troops was already dealt with and the vehicles zooming away, leaving the poor footsloggers, already whittled down by the Rhino's bolter to their fate. And what a fate.

They get to shoot, managing to put one wound on the Daemon. The Daemon then charges them and in the first turn of combat proceeds to kill all but one Pvt. Macias (I named each man back then and painted their names on their uniforms...it was a chore). Macias fails to do anything that turn but rolls for his morale test. From that point on the Daemon never again gets another wound on this man. Pvt. Macias then proceeds to beat the Daemon Prince to death with his lasgun over the rest of the game. This guy's aquilas were painted gold after that and he was elevated to being a Veteran. Best moment in all of 40k thus far.

There's been amazing things since then (IG Sergeant beating a chaos lord) and really silly things since then (Plasma Culverin AdMech vanguard squad failing to kill a single CSM during their shooting phase), but nothing's topped that guardsman beating the Daemon Prince to death yet.

**dethric**

Just a couple of weeks ago I had a cultist do something amazing.

4 cultists charged a Dreadknight, it was a stupid move, i risked to get murdered and get a consolidation move towards the rest of my troops, but I was pretty gakked anyways, so I went for the hail mary.
3 cultists died to the overwatch, but the last one made the 8+ inch charge, and at the end of the combat the cultist still stood there, having rolled double 1s on his morale check, and he didn't just stand there, he had caused two wounds to the dreadknight.

This guy survived another round of combat against the knight and the game ended with the cultist still standing strong against the filthy imperial lapdogs.

**MechaEmperor7000**

In 4th edition I had a Daemon Prince with Daemonic Armor (2+ armor save), wings, Mark of Khorne, the Berserker Glaive (a daemon weapon that can potentially give you 12 attacks in total) And feel No Pain. He had just taken a wound from a volley of lascannon shots and decided to charge two lone guardsmen to duck out of shooting and start unit-hopping (as was most CC characters do during those time).

He somehow missed with all 12 attacks. To add insult to injury, both of the guardsmen (who were carrying LASGUNS) managed to hit and wound him. Then I failed his 2+ ARMOR SAVE twice and then the 4+ feel no pain save.

My 200-something points Daemon Prince got his nuts shanked by two 5-point guardsmen with flashlights and cardboard jackets.

**Griddlelol**

I had 4 vet squads in chimerae, 2 with melta, 2 with plasma and the chimerae, along with a Leman Russ Executioner and a large blob of regulars fire at 5 TH/SS that deep struck near me.

Not a single one died. So galling as the Executioner could place its blasts over like 4/5 models each time.

They then charged my blob and just kept it wrapped up for the whole game. Didn't make much of an impact in the end, should have just ignored them.

**Jaxler**

My riptide did 4 wounds to its self over 2 turns by continuously burning his fingers on nova/gets hot checks and then proceeding to feel the pain. He then missed every shot with ion accelerator on turn 3 before getting popped by a lone marine with a plasma pistol.

All fear the mighty riptide.