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Hey all, bit of a long rant/ plea coming
Have any of you lost so many times to the same opponent that that player ends up getting in your head to the point where playing that player, or even against that same army just brings back terrible memories and makes you freeze?

There's a guy in my gaming group that i have lost, roughly, 30-40 times in a row to. So now whenever he's around me, whether watching my games play out or playing the next table over, my brain drums up all the times i lost to him and how he taunted me and it all turns me into a scared. And often physical shaking, player completely stopped up with whatever plan i had gone. All concentration completely shot.

Now, ive tried avoiding him, not playing him, not being in the same game room as him and that works up until one of those things change. I am a perfectly competent player with people watching me until he does. Its weird, i tell you.

Okay, i realize this all makes me sound like a bit of a poor loser or that I'm just some angsty noob wanting to be the best, but I'm really just trying to break out of the mental prison this guy has me in.

What i really want to do is screw up the courage to play him and show him who's boss, but i just lose my mind in the process of doing so.

TL;DR, OP loses all mojo when a certain player walks in the door.

What do you recommend I do to to get out of this cage I'm in?
Thank you for stopping by and reading.

Edit was to remove names

Sounds like being around the guy gives you massive anxiety. Does stuff like this happen at other times in your life, or only with wargaming and only with this one person?

Well, I can't say I've had that exact reaction, but I can say this; It's easy to fall back into being who we are expecting ourselves to be when we first encountered this person. That's why people are so often different around their parents than they are at other times, or how they act different when in a group as opposed to one-on-one.

This player is bringing out something negative in you, and that's probably because the person you expect yourself to be while around them is that same player that lost all those times. Try re-inventing yourself in your next game with them. Ask them to even help you with this! Say "You know what? In this next game, I want to do things differently. I really want to plan out my moves better. Can you help me line up and sight these guys with respect to your potential movements?"

Then, you'll form a new memory. You don't have to beat them to form it, but you'll have a new and more positive memory to draw upon the next time they're around. Do it a few times, and it'll become the habit and the new you that you'll remember.

@Jacksmiles:
Just this person. And it affects me in other capacities when around him. Just oure anxiety in any capacity around him. Even in group chat, i dread when he addresses me.

@Yarium:
I tried doing this with him between games 15 and 25. He was condescending and wouldn't let me get a word in edge wise and then I'd do what he'd suggest and he'd play the perfect counter to it and just say "better luck next time". I've also asked him to bring friendlier lists, which he aays he does, and i still end up getting wrecked by turn 3.


I keep telling myself that all this will be done with when i finally beat him (he plays marines without gladius). And i WANT to start having more even games against him because he's the most challenging opponent I've ever had. I honestly measure how good the others in the group are based on how many turns they can last in a game against him.

Well, that is certainly a bad situation to be in!

From your blog it seems your armies are more up the alley of (i play what i play because it looks freaking cool and its the way i like it) and it oozes of love and joy for the hobby i might add!

Its sounds like he is a douchy player, boasting and taunting is not great on top of constantly winning, not my kind of player, i could also assume/imagine he gives his tactical advice while you are playing and have do disown or aknowledge the moves you make aswell?
You need to tell him straight up, that you are done playing with him, and you would prefer to not be disturbed by him when you are playing against someone, because you are not on the same page with him play-style wise, its just same old song and dance in terms of being a predictable game. In that way you don't have to adjust or relate to his vibes and energies when he is around you.

And loosing 30-40 times in a row against an opponent is crazy! Your opponents should be able to tune their play down when playing against you maybe you need to talk with your opponents and perhaps ask them/him to be gentle. I wouldn't mind personally to footslog an army just so we both could enjoy one of the best hobbies in the world together. Perhaps ask one of the best players to give to some tips? Watch miniwargaming batreps, those are really good for tuning in to what you perhaps could to tactics wise.

If all gaming ties are cut to that person, then there is nothing to relate to. He just showed you how NOT to do, be thankfull for that and forget all the rest, its just junk. When you get home from warhammer events you should feel invigorated, NOT feeling like all pissed and frustated while blasting "I fuc*ing hate you - Godsmack"

Put yourself first and set yourself free my man!

Voidraven5829 wrote:
@Jacksmiles:
Just this person. And it affects me in other capacities when around him. Just oure anxiety in any capacity around him. Even in group chat, i dread when he addresses me.

@Yarium:
I tried doing this with him between games 15 and 25. He was condescending and wouldn't let me get a word in edge wise and then I'd do what he'd suggest and he'd play the perfect counter to it and just say "better luck next time". I've also asked him to bring friendlier lists, which he aays he does, and i still end up getting wrecked by turn 3.


I keep telling myself that all this will be done with when i finally beat him (he plays marines without gladius). And i WANT to start having more even games against him because he's the most challenging opponent I've ever had. I honestly measure how good the others in the group are based on how many turns they can last in a game against him.

Ignore him, act as though he does not exist. If he talks to you ignore him, if he ask you for a game dont talk to him. If you do talk to him be dismissive and elusive. This guy is clearly a jerk who is getting his jollies off of messing with you. He wants to elicit a response from you and taunts you and is rather demeaning in order to make you feel smaller.

If you were to beat him he would probably say you were cheating, insist that it was a fluke, or say he let you win, which would continue the cycle.

Defeat bullies by not engaging them. They want attention to make them feel big and bad, dont give them the chance.

P.S. He's probably also cheating, thats the personality type you are dealing with. If you do play him for some reason make sure you have some buddies to watch and relentlessly question every move he makes and scrutinize his lists.

I'd also add in if he does this to the other players at your game club and they feel similarly you should just consider all of you not playing him. He may pick up the hint when no one plays him and I'd strongly suggest you prevent new players from interacting with him, since we want people to actually ENJOY their hobby

Okay, a bit of a puzzle you offer there OP.

Of particular note: how does this guy act when he does lose?

Sometimes when you feel "off" around a person that is a piece of you saying "this person is a "piece of work" and it is really not good/safe to be around them.".
Condescending behavior has never been a good indicator: you are here for a fun game, not to see who has the bigger ego.

I would suggest figuring out your own strategies however, I suspect any "advice" he would give is to his own benefit as you mentioned.

I have dealt with many an arrogant and unhealthy narcissists and one thing to keep in mind is that you do not need to prove yourself to them.
I have my own mental issues where I tend to hunt-down bullies and like to burst their bubble so I understand the desire to beat him in the game.
Asking/telling someone to make their list not as competitive would probably result in that person thinking: "How about you improve your game/list?"

I have had a few people that seemed terrifying to talk to in life, it eventually works out by not involving them anymore than you can help and not giving what they say any power.
Best I can offer.

@Brutallica:
thank you for the kind words, and as it turns out, I have made extensive use of youtube for battreps. this losing streak actually caused me to search the wide web for tactics, opinions and gameplay, and I can totally agree that it is a VERY useful tool in getting better at the game. and thank you for the complement about my models! i try very hard to put all the love I can into them while still trying to be one of the more competitive players in our group.

@generalchaos34:
i'm actually fairly convinced that he has loaded dice. when he lost that particular set, his rolls were much more statistical...

@Talizvar:
i beat him once. right after game like 35 or so. (so the streak doesn't go to 40, sorry guys), using renegades from Siege of Vraks' Ordnance Tyrant and the purge detachment with 5 groups of 2 thudd guns as the bulk. he quit after I told him I was going to target his drop pod marines that were right next to some of my dudes and that I didn't fear taking some of my own dudes out. Turns out, as one would expect: he's a horrible loser, saying that i brought the worst kind of cheese in a "friendly game".. its not my fault that he forgot that artillery crew are T7 when shot at when he was tailoring his list to me... but yes, since then I haven't played that list or anything like it because I didn't want to get a reputation for being a TFG etc.

thus: all of you are right: he is a massive jerk/ bully and just shouldn't be interacted with..


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Although, in my zeal to pulp him, I've thought about challenging him to an army swap game where he plays my dudes and i play his. Or at the very least, "forget" my dice one day and borrow his suspected dice just to see...

I don't get it. You'd think with that many wins you would WANT to eventually lose. Maybe to get the fire back. Maybe just to have a challenge?

People who don't like losing are usually people who don't even like the game that they are playing. Trust me. Follow this train of thought, and you will see that it is true.

There are people like that in life, they live for a win and do not take a loss well, it is like their wellbeing is tied to it.
Easiest way to spot the worst of them: a person who is NEVER wrong, even if they may run the risk of being wrong "you are mistaken", "you did not hear me correctly", "you did not understand what I said", I hate to mention but candidate "Trump" is a study in that.
"I never lose" is followed with the unspoken "I try to never participate in anything where I could lose.".
To never lose is the height of stupidity because it means you are so risk adverse you never push the limits or you are a liar, liar, pants on fire...
If I win, it is because of my brilliance, if I lose, it is because the game was "fixed", you cheated somehow, you brought extreme cheese to a "friendly" game.

Any of this sound familiar?
Anyone can show up with a netlist and spend some money on the latest hot meta army.
I would be interested if this guy participates in any tournaments?
Usually those types find it easier to be the "big fish in a small pond".

What kills me about this thread is the OP playing so many games with this clown.
Masochism is a strong character trait in that one.
What have you done or who has beaten you down so much you feel you deserve or tolerate this much abuse?
It blows my mind.
Find NICE people, play with them, don't be someone's dog to kick.

You should not interact with this person. 40k is meant to be fun. This person is removing your ability to have fun and relax while playing.

"Sorry dude, I think we want very different things out of our games and I don't enjoy playing against you."

Just politely decline to play against him.

What struck me was how affected your mental state is by a series of defeats at a game involving dice and toy soldiers. Seriously, it's a game.

While it can suck to play against bad winners, his very presence should never put you in such a state.

I have pretty bad anxiety (Yes diagnosed, this is not tumblr)

and I can relate that it is very easy to become to punching bag for some people and frankly the same thing happens to me but on a much larger level.

Eventually, you learn how to avoid the people that make you nervous or uncomfortable whether that be in wargaming or any social event, but I get where the OP is coming from (especially when he lost 35 times!)

But as time goes on you eventually learn to find the opponents who make for an enjoyable game, and cherry pick games with those guys.

Although, on another note, the guy is definitely cheating. Even the most competitive, good, WAAC player in my local area doesn't win 35+ games against a player, even if the player is playing friendly lists or just not super experienced

just my $0.02

~Mikey

Crispy78 wrote:
"Sorry dude, I think we want very different things out of our games and I don't enjoy playing against you."

Just politely decline to play against him.

This. It sounds like the guy is a jerk, hanging around him more isn't going to help things or may even make them worse. Avoid and if he shows up to watch just politely tell the truth 'hey dude, you being here makes me nervous so could you leave' if he laughs at you for it whatever, its not like his opinion matters anyways (chances are such a response is to cover up personal insecurities too).

Take out a mortgage and buy elder.

That or a sledgehammer...

Then drink his wonderfully salty tears

Yep, actually this is how I learned to play Warhammer.

We had a pretty big group of guys that were pretty notorious for being this way and basically talking gak the whole time.

It's a technique that lots of athletes use to get under the skin of their opponent to stop them from thinking properly. Mohammed Ali is a perfect example actually.

You either roll with it and develop your own techniques for psyching your opponent out, or get different opponents basically.

It's difficult to deal with people who are outspoken and rude normally. Especially if you are like me, and generally are polite to people you only know on a superficial level.

I think on a certain level you probably feel like you want to destroy this guy because of the way he acts, and the fact that he's a bully. It really crushes your ego when people like this get away with being an ass. The best thing you can do is remove yourself emotionally from what he's saying. Remember that it's just a game even though you want to win against him.

Don't play him again until you feel like you've died a little inside. lol, it sounds weird, but caring about it is your worst enemy. The more apathetic you are to the situation, the better you will play, and the more it will piss him off because he's not getting a rise out of you. He just does it because he enjoys seeing what it does to you.

I had this for a long time with an ARMY. Anytime I got near 'nids, I would start to tense up. I couldn't fathom how they could field so MUCH and how all their minis could do so many things. For years, I not only never beat 'nids, I never SAW them lose. After my games, I'd do the same thing I usually do after a loss and try to ask my opponent (or friendly spectators) what they thought I could have done differently, but for the longest time I just couldn't see, even with help, any way I could have beaten them.

Switching armies to an army I'm much more confident with has helped, as has the new 'nid codex that put a serious nerfbat on them.

Now, I HAVE had two players that I've found myself with an egregious loss record to (like, more than 10-1 l-w) but it later turned out after comparing stories to other local gamers that the two guys in question were serious cheaters.

 gummyofallbears wrote:


Although, on another note, the guy is definitely cheating. Even the most competitive, good, WAAC player in my local area doesn't win 35+ games against a player, even if the player is playing friendly lists or just not super experienced

just my $0.02

~Mikey

I'm gonna say it's not impossible. We have ETC players at my club and they very rarely lose against us normal players. They normally bring top-tier lists from top-tier codexes, in addition to being extremely good at the game and very knowledgeable of the units. Unless they're playing each other, they pummel normal players. I've only seen them lose in a few situations; when one of them brings his CSMs, and the other during an Escalation League game against KDK, when KDK managed to get a Bloodthirster through Blood Tithe points during a 300pt game.

I think I'm ready to share my one and only "friendly" local game store story. I was invited out to play Armada by a guy who moved to town recently to marry his girlfriend he met on the internet. He adds me on facebook and I only take a quick glance at his facebook page. No images of him stand out just internet memes and stuff I only glance and say I'll get a good look at him in the store.

He claims to be a newbie during all of this who has only recently started the game. After we establish contact through the flgs community facebook page we start setting armada battle terms.

It's been months since I've played the game so I tell him I'm a little rusty. I say I want a 300 point game (forgetting 400 is standard). He messages me saying he went over with 9 points over and asks me if its okay. I say sure its a friendly game only if I can go over too. He got mad at first but I think he misunderstood me and I say only up to the 9 over he is at and calms down.

The next day he messages me and asks if its okay if we don't play with objectives since he is a newbie and it confuses him. I say sure but something is going off in my brain about how specific of a request this is. I know as a rebel player I often need to play to objectives depending on my list, but maybe he is geunely trying to learn. At the same time how can you learn if your not abiding the rules? I allow him this but have a bad feeling. I bring a back up list that's got some more potency than my nwbie friendly list.

My list was a Rebel Assault Frigate, Nebulon B, and the Mon Calamary Torpedo Frigate. A very light casual list. I also take some A-Wings and some upgrades here and there like the paragon and the enhanced armaments to try and use my side dice. It's decent but fluffy. Just in case I bring a Mon Calamari Cruiser which is the rebels Star Destroyer equivalent since my bad vibes were on full. I was not going to cheese it out. Also I only had Wave 2 ships and am vastly behind in upgrades and only collect rebel ships so some stuff was not available to me. Not that it mattered since I wasn't net listing. The Mon Cal Cruiser was my insurance since he said we might have time for two games and if I needed to up my list a little. I didn't bring the full breadth of cheesy upgrades for it though and was just going to use what I had in my casual list on it.

Two days before the battle I remember I want 400 points and ask if its cool. He says no and gets mad and taunts me a little over this. He also says one other person is coming and I have to fight with him in a 2 on 1 again a bad sign of him power gaming since two strangers who just meet for the first time ever are not going to coordinate well. On top of this he asks for no turn limit since he wants a pure blast them game.

The day before the game he shows me a picture of his case and he has almost two of every ship in the game Imperial and Rebel and all the new ships as well. And front and center is a great big Star Destroyer. I say to myself he won't use it. What kind of newbie is this? I don't upgrade my army and give him the benefit of the doubt despite getting weird vibes.

We meet and immediately something is really off about this guy. Most nerds I know are pretty reserved folks they don't talk much to outsiders and its really hard to get in with them and their cliques. Can't say I'm an exception or the old guy who turned up was an exception. The old dude clearly was a newbie and barely knew how to use a maneuvering tool. The other guy says he watches tournament videos. In my head I say this is weird since he claims to be a newbie now he claims to have watched the national finals and yes he brings a net list just for such an occasion.

My fears are founded when he plops down that ISD, an Imperial Raider with Moff Tarken in it and is clearly net listing the gak out of his army. My list was a casual list that HAD to play to objectives perfectly to stand a chance against the firepower of an ISD or needed perfect micro.

We are setting up the table and talking. He loves to talk about himself a lot. Most people don't spill their guts out and he is an intense starer but many people like him. My dad drove me up there and I see him lingering around a lot watching my opponent. I said we would be x amount of hours and told him when to be back to pick me up. <y dad leaves but comes back a few times within the hour to check on the weird as feth guy.

Anyways when my dad leaves the first time we talk a bit and introduce ourselves. Then he is searching for a word saying he dressed up as Darth Vader for kids in some ward of the hospital and can't remember the name. It was one of the most important aspects of his life and kept boasting about this and how much joy he brought them. I think this is cool at first but he rally really keeps boasting about this and for someone who did ti for most of his life can't seem to remember it's called the terminal ward.

I tell him "yes it's called a terminal ward" He looks at me with those fething weird eyes and stare and looks me down. He says this and I quote "I worked in the terminal ward and it emotionally devastated and destroyed my mind and soul. I've just never been the same." This is one of the first things he says about himself right after we meet him. I have extensive training in psychology but even without that I would hope this would set off alarm bells in most peoples heads at this point.

He also claims to have cancer and it kind of explains his sickly look. I give him one massive benefit of the doubt since I have no way to yet prove he is lying but I'm getting the feeling he is a compulsive liar and I start to formulate some plans to catch him in some lies. Politely to him I say its great he volunteered and I'm sorry to hear about his cancer ect.

He had a very subtle nervous tick this entire time and with his rather alarming stare its creepy and unnerving. Yet he has a sort of charm and has a few people he is acquainted with very faintly. I don't know how much they know of him but I suspect they have no idea about him.

We're about to play and the weird guy starts to talk. He says how he hates X-Wing and can't put it into words. So I ask if its the power creep and he says not really. Only a little. He hates how rigid it is. In armada he says he can take out any and all rules he wants and customize the game to the way he wants to play. He says customize it to the way he wants to play, but I get the sense he is using it to power game the system and make his own rules. We'll see how right I am soon in the farce of a first game. He makes one last backhanded comment "I don't like playing to objectives. i don't feel a game is a victory unless I kill everything and remove it form the table". Right off the bat this is the first big sign I'm at minimum dealing with a douche since eh games the system from the get go.

I put this out of my mind to focus on the game and I know I'm going to lost. So I plan with the cool old dude on my team. As I figured I didn't tell him everything about how the army was going to work. So I went for a bum rush and he went for a cautious approach.

He was a straight up cheating bastard. If I made a mistake from being rusty I let him know and he fixed the mistake to his damage or card effect ect. He knew every rule for his Imperials perfectly and also I caught him cheating with his firing arcs. He was measuring the arcs from the sides of the vessel and not like an arc. SO basically he could shoot his frontal guns almost completely behind him the way he was doing it which is ridiculous.

I point this out and he gets mad. I ask the newbie for support who is no help as he is a newbie and not sure who is right. This is actually his first game. To try and keep things friendly he makes a few "mistakes" and I catch him. I say ah this is a casual game I'll forgive ya and let him do his thing. I make a few mistakes and this is the line I get when I ask if I can just forgive them this round since I did it for him. He turns to me with anger n his face and his creepy eye stare "No. I don't do that kind of stuff for anyone. I don't let that happen." In my head I'm like then why did you accept mine if your such a rule stickler. So I caught him once more in his greed. At this point I amped up my attitude. No more mistakes. No more mercy.

He was getting rules blatantly wrong, he was rolling accuracies on his dace and he loaded his ship with as much blue as possible meaning every fething hit did tons of minimum damage. In the actual game rolling accuracies never does damage unless you have specific upgrade cards for specific effects and while he did have one of the cards it only affected blue dice and not every other dice int he game. So blatant cheating. I tell him this and look in the rules.

All game I call him on BS from the point of game face on and he looks in the rules. I am usually right but he still refuses to accept a lot of rulings and bitches when I look at the rules, but when he needs t look he gets all the time int he world. I try and look for the accuracies thing but he is impatient and its over so I resolved to let it slide until next game.

He never once fessed up to rule breaking unless caught. At this point I was starting to hide a few of my own advantages.

So he agrees to let me make a new list. And this time its 1v1. Cool old dude is not sure what happened and isn't sure who is right. I make a new list and bust out the much better list (but not the best I could have brought). It will have to do. Mon Calamri Cruiser with Ackbar and a few upgrades, rebel assault frigate, and the mon cal torpedo. Not ideal but I think I can make it work.

Cool old dude says he has to go soon but will watch until he goes. :( I'm stuck along with the creep. He comes back in boasting about how great the Imperials are. At this point I'm beginning to dissect his mind a lot and get in there and I'm afraid. I ask him about his collection and how big it is he says this "Yeah my wife says I have a large collection of minis and have been really invested in this game." I caught him in a lie since he said he was a newbie player who had never played. I had at that point caught him lying all night and was getting a very clear idea of what I was dealing with.

I can't find the rules in time to support my firing arc claims and accuracy die so I have to play at a big disadvantage again since the star destroyers arcs are nuts the way he is playing them and he was getting impatient. I look at his list. I'm also at a big disadvantage from accuracy damage since he auto damages me every turn when he shouldn't be and accuracy effect spams me at the same time. It's definitely going to be an uphill battle. He let me make mine first and then made a counter list and metagamed it. I knew he would and he fell into my trap. Without his precious net lists he would be nothing.

I deploy the Torpedo Frigate in his face and go right up in his face and make an actual error. Should have shot at his general when I had the chance and not the ISD and would have killed it and perhaps won still would a been hard, but I had to plan for contingencies. The second mistake I had made was putting the enhanced armaments on the rebel assault frigate. Last game he had the repair station this time I have it and its surrounded by asteroids. He is an aggressive arrogant person who thinks he is always right so I figure he will charge at me like a noob and his the asteroids and debris fields. My third and biggest mistake was putting my rebel assault frigate on the right too far away form the action where it didn't shoot once all game. If I had not made that mistake I would have beat his cheating ass. But I was rusty from not playing for six months or if I had my uber list I would have taken him down or if he had not been a cheating bastard.

He still didn't want to play to objectives (gee I wonder why).

The torpedo suicide runs him and does outstanding damage to him and he is getting mad. I see hi face change into this horrific face of anger and rage while i'm chill. He can't beleive this is happening. Then it moves off the board and is gone. I even get a little cocky myself "Typical Imperial Doctrine". The next few turns proceed with me dishing out more damage than his vaunted ISD, transport, and talking can mitigate. If I had the gunnery teams here and more support cards it would have been over by turn 4. My Mon Cal has also taken a beating and my rebel frigate is a non factor since he is too far. I'm a few damage away from dying.

Cool Old Dude is still here and watching. I bro fist him and he laughs and say rebel tactics are prevailing. Then the freaking cavalry arrives his own aquitnaces show up to play Amrada too and they are rules veterans. Quite quickly they all take my side of the rules debates, but I'm in a bad spot due to my own tactical blunders. Still some of the damage had been done by the cheating and could not be so easily removed since it had been so long ago. My Mon Cal goes up a lot of wounds and shields and he is starting to shake and get angry and his tick is getting worse.

I let this line drop "I'm definitely not leaving the store without buying something today since I really need to update my army." This makes him mad and he look me in the eye with the same creepy stare.

With the fire arcs on my side me and ackbar pound the gak out of him. On turn 5 and 6 he rams through the debris fields and asteroids and takes him down to 1 health. His fighters came boba gett and other heros and take me out. He ISD was one wound from death and he was real worried. If my rebel frigate had survived the fighter swarm it would have gotten it and all his vaunted power and then I would have won if not for time limits being off. As it was he rigged all the games from the start.

He calms down and says that was all according to plan. I call him on his BS and said you didn't expect most of that to happen since you veered into the asteroids to run away from the Ackbar Cruiser. He was really scared he was going to lose. I tell him I didn't bring my fully good list since I can't afford too much and haven't had reason to want any since no one plays me anymore.

He says I have shown him new cheese. Cool Old Dude stuck around for the whole thing and didn't seem to happy to see the donkey-cave had been fething with him all game. I'm waiting for my ride and treating this more like an interesting social experiment. He keeps creepily offering to give me and/or the old dude a ride home and we obviously don't want to be murdered so decline.

He keeps hanging around me and looking over my shoulder keeping a real good eye on me. I know he wants to see what I'm buying so he can power game next game which will never come. He says bye like 8 times and never leaves. Finally on the last time he says bye and I make sure he leaves the store and see the door shut. I wait 10 minutes and make sure he doesn't come back into the store.

I go up to buy the new Liberty Mon Cal Cruiser in stock. I go up to the counter and I hope to god I'm wrong. I'm getting out my debit card and i vaguely hear the store door open. Then he is right fething behind me at the counter. he is taller than me looking right over my shoulder... "That's a very nice Liberty class cruiser your buying. Best thing you could add to your army really..." Same creepy as feth look and smile on his face. I turn around pissed off a little and give him the dirty eye to back up. I hide my pin code as well since he might have also been there to look at that. He had also grabbed a pop to buy on the pretense of wanting something.

I know right fething now something is seriously wrong with this creeper and intend to investigate a lot of his claims when I get back home. He leaves the store again and I hope to god he didn't slink back in to creep me again. I tell my dad about this and as we talk about this over the next little while I begin to notice he has the behavior patterns of a sociopath. I hope to god I'm not right. I tell my dad who is experienced with the real worst of society and while he doesn't know all the scientific terms he says something about the man was off as soon as he seen him. He says he also looked like a hard core cocaine addict.

I check the guys facebook profile and it says he has only been here for a few months allegedly he moved here to marry his girlfriend. I go back to last years posts and no photos of anyone or announcements. No pictures of any girlfriends, friends, or certainly a wife or wedding planning details.

The only shred of truth the guy told me all night that I can verify is he dressed up as Darth Vader last year, but he wasn't with sick kid he was with his coke buddied according to my dad at laat from their drugged out picture of them with guns and knives and one in a clown costume from last year I have to agree he is extremely creepy as feth.

Instantly unfriend him, leave all the FLGS groups I'm in since he could see me there, block his ass, and tell everyone I know about him to watch out for him. No one at the gameshelf knows much about the guy either and he rarely shows up or talks much.

I don't treat these a a loss. I don't even treat these farces as a game. He is one fethed up person who creeps me out. The way he tried to almost hug me from behind at the counter and look over my shoulder was the creepiest moment of my life so far by far.

Anyone got some bad stories to top this. There's more tiny details I'm forgetting more lies and rule breaking but suffice to say I think I've given it enough justice. So anyone got a more fethed up story? >

I don't even know how to respond to that story. That's probably the creepiest thing I have ever read.

@Gamgee: <edit>Thanks for taking the time to write that! It is hard to believe for many, that people like that exist in the world... unfortunately they are becoming more common place.
Hmmm... sociopath or narcissist? Since he seems to like an audience and what you say (negative or otherwise) I would say narcissist (a sociopath to some extent does not CARE what you or anyone else thinks, only fulfilling what they want to do) which is something of a specialty for me: imagine having a mother like that?
They are the only human beings that are "never wrong".
Rules only apply to you, not to them... at least how they wish you to think.
Your attempt at giving that turkey a bloodied nose in the game was commendable.
I am unsure if he arranged your partner as an intended handicap or for him to have a bigger audience for that added ego boost.
The offer of a ride home is just a means of trying to be in charge with the unspoken "behave in the way I want or you will be walking".
Plus knowing where you live adds that extra level of power never mind creepy factor.
I hate to say what you described is a "perfect" description of that type of person at work.
He plays a whole different game than you are.
You were just some "prey" for him to chew-up, nothing personal, unless you do not know your place.

If you feel you MUST play a narcissist some rules to live by:
1) Say you play be the rules only, say after a few "straight-up" games we can talk about house rules...
2) Set a fixed point value not a point more.
3) Always assume they will bring a net-list or the best they can do.
4) I find it is usually a mixed-bag with them on skill: usually they depend on cheating and maximization of their lists to carry the day.
5) NEVER allow your army to be seen before they have their army list in-hand and out. The moment your army can be viewed or the list read, they will reach for a different list they just happen to have. I usually place the one piece of paper face down on top of my opaque carry case and say "I have my list here, where is yours so we can see what we are getting into?"
6) Know your rules and theirs. As demonstrated, you depend on them for rules interpretation "you deserve what you get because you are a sap / stupid."
7) They are so used to being the manipulator, they are absolute suckers when it is done back. If they see you recently buying a given model: don't use it. Mention you like horde armies, then play quality. Never tell them about your collection except in vague terms (they DESPERATELY want to list tailor against you). You could lie just like them... but that just makes you that little bit more like them... tempting though but they will not learn a thing from it other than the joy of you being "every bit as bad as them" in their eyes anyway.
8) Remember, it is all about them. They will happily tell you everything real and imagined on how great they are.
9) Never, ever fall for the "loud voice speaking with confidence", it is their weapon of choice.
10) Yep, they try to rush you all the time (so you make errors, yay!) and get right angry if you comment on their speed: hypocrisy is a lifestyle choice with them.

So yeah, all of the above outline that by playing them you lose because you could have spent the time in much more pleasant company AND they still got your attention and can try to mess with you at will.

BEST thing to do is simply ignore them or act like they do not matter.

That is the ONLY thing that drives them absolutely crazy.
<edit> It is utterly pointless to explain why you are not playing them, it only gives them an opportunity to say how wrong you are.

Oh for the second game he wanted to go over again and fit in an extra ship. I hardlined it at 400. Good thing too since I had nothing else to bring other than a Nebulon B which would have added no value to the big ships he would have brought.

 Gamgee wrote:
Oh for the second game he wanted to go over again and fit in an extra ship. I hardlined it at 400. Good thing too since I had nothing else to bring other than a Nebulon B which would have added no value to the big ships he would have brought.

Wait a minute, "second game"?
You are hard-core.
You really want to suffer through a game with this piece of work just so you can beat him and watch him lose his mind?
You know these people work on "punishment" when people "hurt" them?
With the sole purpose of course in training you to not be "stupid" and win a game in the future.
If you had a car he would guaranteed key it after a losing game.
Well, I cannot complain with taking the boots to these folk.
As you were.
Note: any videos or any of his game loss descriptions are welcomed...

No I meant the second game of that night the one he metagamed and looked at my new list. He wanted to go over 400 points again since he had his entire collection there. I never intend to meet this guy again hahaha. If I did I would certainly not go unarmed, but I never intend to so don't worry. I'm not crazy. Haha. My attempts at playing 40k are done I've had too many bad community experiences in town. I'll stick to painting and collecting. You don't even want to know about the sad weirdo's that turned up over the years for Dungeon's and Dragon's nights, but they got nothing on this guy.

I've skipped the large stories, but in response to the OP:

40K and other tabletop miniatures games are just that - games. A hobby (i.e. a way to pass time in an enjoyable fashion). If you're having genuine anxiety/stress reactions to the player or the game it's time to walk away for a bit.

Don't play someone who's a jackass. Nut up and tell them politely (or otherwise) you don't wish to play with them. It can often take the wind out of a jackass' sails. If the store environment/group is causing you stress --- seriously find a new avenue to play or put up the game for a bit.

There isn't a single part of the game/hobby worth mental anxiety/stress. I say that as someone who struggles with a lot of issues (thankfully not gaming related). Trust me, gaming or hobbying solo or not at all is preferable to being uncomfortable, etc.

Gamers tend to be far more socially awkward than a lot of crowds, but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and look after number one. If the guy is harassing you or being rude/uncouth/uncomfortable - heck, approach the store owner/staff. It's your hobby, your effort, your fun. Don't let someone else diminish it.