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It's almost time to register my 5 year old for school. However, I am scared to death to leave my non verbal, not bathroom trained, son with asd with another person. Anyone here have any advice or experience the same? Thanks.

The UK had multiple specialist schools that are equipped to handle those requiring more care and advanced support. Often they can handle everything from lower spectrum to rarer, and more less known conditions such as Williams syndrome.

I have no doubt the US should have similar schools.
They are not like throwing your son to the wolves of public schools.

Nowt wrong with homeschooling, but do spare a thought for socialisation. It's difficult enough for autistic kids when they're around other sprogs during school. What the answer to that is, I have no idea.

I'd definitely seek out some kind of qualified advice, rather than us interwebular spods.

defwolf wrote:
It's almost time to register my 5 year old for school. However, I am scared to death to leave my non verbal, not bathroom trained, son with asd with another person. Anyone here have any advice or experience the same? Thanks.

there might be a difference between states, as for AZ my daughter was assigned her a "aid" who helps her with classes, but your kid will be in a class with everyone else in their grade.

If I thought I could give my kid a proper education I would have home schooled her, but I know my limits and sent her to school. depending on the enrollment dates you might be able to wait another year before your kid enrolls.

the best thing to do is talk to your doctor and see what they suggest,

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Nowt wrong with homeschooling, but do spare a thought for socialisation. It's difficult enough for autistic kids when they're around other sprogs during school. What the answer to that is, I have no idea.

That was our line of thinking. Our (mild) autistic boy goes to a regular public school.

A few hours a week he attends a special class (within the same school) with specialist teachers and speech trainers, but the socialisation aspect is too valuable at that early age. He also had an aid teacher several hours to help him navigate the school day.

He's probably the most loved kid in class, and gets a ton of attention from the other pupils, who will go out of their way to help him out with everything from regular class work to unwrapping his sandwich, or giving a shout at the teacher whenever he might have a toilet moment. He has improved a lot and the teacher told us it's been a very valuable lesson in diversity for the rest of the class, too.

We could have taken him to a special education center, but I feel we made the right choice.

That said, no two kids are alike, and the same works for schools. Some schools rejected our kid on the grounds they were not prepared for special needs.

Do not, do not, do not, do not homeschool him. I have ASD and the best thing my parents ever did for me was send me to school normally while working with me at home to even things out. It forces one to adapt. However much pain it causes now will be several orders of magnitude less than it would be later. The school almost certainly has a system in place for helping such students and it would likely be best to ask them about the options and what their assessment is.

Man, what a weird choice of forum to bring this question to.

 Ouze wrote:
Man, what a weird choice of forum to bring this question to.

I have no friends or family. My only "social media" is this forum. It's in off topic at least lol. Thanks for all the responses so far.

I also agree with sending your child to school.

Firstly, teaching is a full time job. And you'd have to do that on top of whatever you are doing now. And it's hard to teach when you are biased towards your own child. It can be hard to give the firm hand occasionally needed.

Secondly, children with autism find it really hard to develop social skills anyway, he probably already knows he is different to other children in some way, you don't want to make him feel like he is different from isolating him from other children.

Again, I don't know what support you get in the US, but we do have special needs support in schools over here that would help him out the best they could.

I would say it is personal choice, but for the love of god do not try and force him into a school if his abilities are bellow average.

At my school we had 1 guy in our class who..... lets say was a little slower then most and after about 3 months he was the butt of every joke the teachers where mean because he was so slow and it was just painful to be around for me i felt so bad god knows how the poor bastard felt.

As long as he is with peers of the same mental abilities and such it will be fine.


Also dont ask the internet about stuff like this, as your child you are responsible for how and where he grows up. Do what you think is best and if your concerned talk to the school or a professional not us. Because there may be simple things that you know that we can never know so it is best to talk to those who know best. Tell them about your concerns and so on.

My son has a pretty strong case of asperghers. I refuse to home school him. He has to learn to adapt his problem to society, because it's not going to adapt to him.

Thankfully, TN schools are some of the better I've encountered, and they work with us to an amazing extent.

Each case varies though, and the people you should really be talking to about this are the medical professionals you work with for your son. They'll be able to help you out in making the best decision for your son, not a bunch of random internet strangers.

I agree with those who recommend that you enroll your child in public school. There are a number of reasons to do so but the important thing here is that your child should receive adequate supports through established district processes to ensure that he has access to a challenging yet accessible education that is aligned with his needs.

A big part of this is an Individual Education Plan (IEP); once your child has been identified as possessing special needs, a team or committee should be convened which includes a specialized teacher, a regular classroom teacher, an administrator, you (and/or your spouse), and possibly a health professional. The purpose of this team and plan is to identify your son's particular needs and how to provide him with classroom supports and accommodations which will provide him with the best education that he's able to participate in.

Don't worry so much about your child being non-verbal or having bathroom issues. Believe me, the district has seen that before and likely more extreme needs besides.

I recommend that you call the local school district's special education office and speak with someone there before making a decision. Possibly, schedule a phone or face-to-face meeting with them and go over your son's needs and feel out what services are available. Service availability will depend upon the district, also approaches will vary; however, you might be surprised at what is available for your son.

 agnosto wrote:
I agree with those who recommend that you enroll your child in public school. There are a number of reasons to do so but the important thing here is that your child should receive adequate supports through established district processes to ensure that he has access to a challenging yet accessible education that is aligned with his needs.

A big part of this is an Individual Education Plan (IEP); once your child has been identified as possessing special needs, a team or committee should be convened which includes a specialized teacher, a regular classroom teacher, an administrator, you (and/or your spouse), and possibly a health professional. The purpose of this team and plan is to identify your son's particular needs and how to provide him with classroom supports and accommodations which will provide him with the best education that he's able to participate in.

Don't worry so much about your child being non-verbal or having bathroom issues. Believe me, the district has seen that before and likely more extreme needs besides.

I recommend that you call the local school district's special education office and speak with someone there before making a decision. Possibly, schedule a phone or face-to-face meeting with them and go over your son's needs and feel out what services are available. Service availability will depend upon the district, also approaches will vary; however, you might be surprised at what is available for your son.

+1

You need to be communicating with the school your child would be attending. You know your child's condition and needs and the school needs to be informed and provide you with an adequate and workable plan for your child. If, after meeting with the school you have confidence that your child's needs will be met then send your child to school, if you have grave concerns about the school handling your child's needs then explore alternatives. I have a nephew with special needs (traumatic brain injury) and he's had to go to different schools in order to find one where he could be mainstreamed without being neglected/left behind.

+1 to the last two posts.

It also depends on where you live as well.

I know for a fact, that the whole frick'n state of Colorado has public school resources for this and I've known people who moved to Denver (or thereabouts) simply for this.

OgreChubbs wrote:
I would say it is personal choice, but for the love of god do not try and force him into a school if his abilities are bellow average.

At my school we had 1 guy in our class who..... lets say was a little slower then most and after about 3 months he was the butt of every joke the teachers where mean because he was so slow and it was just painful to be around for me i felt so bad god knows how the poor bastard felt.

A child within ASD can be as bright, intelligent and hardworking as anyone in class.

And honestly a teacher being mean to a kid with learning difficulties has absolutely no place in a school. Not even as a janitor.

 Ouze wrote:
Man, what a weird choice of forum to bring this question to.

Given the average wargamers experience with poorly-socialized TFG's, is it really THAT weird of a choice?

I have had some great advice given. Thank you all for that. I think a forum like this is perfect for a question such as mine. I have had responses from parents and even an awesome response from a person with asd! Talking to a doctor isn't going to give me that kind of insight. Thank you all so much. I am feeling better about at least checking out the local school.

All id add is try local schools, see what support is in place and how he fitting in and finding things. If they don,t have time to sit down with you for a few hours and explain, ask questions and work out best support package. Damned of id send my son there.

If he learns, gains skills, Becomes more well rounded amd confident then that is great. Its a win.

However if not, special education is there for a reason, they may teach differently, and its no stigma. Its a more specialist support system.
If your son grows, learns and leaves a more well rounded and confident person then that was a win.
They often concentrate from uk example on life skills more than academic at times, and aim maybe not yo pass exams but to give someone the best go at life independent and able to follow own dreams regardless of what they had.

Either way, if your son grows in confidence., learns, nothing wrong with either path.

Look into something called a "Spectrum School" I hear they can be quite good
But be careful if it has people of multiple ages interacting, it can end badly.

Autism is a spectrum of disfunction in understanding the social clues that people give out in their behaviour. It is nothing to do with lack of intelligence. It leads to social isolation and displays of "difficult" behaviour caused by the frustration and loneliness of the autistic person due to their difficulties in communicating with the people around them.

As such, good quality socialisation is an important part of support and recovery. It would seem best for this to be done in a broader social setting, by which I mean not the home but a school with specialist support.

I am not a doctor or behavioural psychologist.

I guess it depends on your son.

Depends on his development. Will he struggle to keep up, or will you struggle to teach a highly intelligent and curious child?

Depends on the school. Will they support a slower or faster pace of learning? Will they support a higher or lower speed of learning (depending on the way your son learns. It depends on your sons autism)? Will they support social difficulties, or force him in to bad situations? Will they treat a meltdown as disability related problem and do what they can to avoid or minimise the risk of it happening, or will they treat it as a disciplinary issue?
These are questions only you can answer, knowing your choice of schools and the specifics of your sons autism.

 Kilkrazy wrote:
Autism is a spectrum of disfunction in understanding the social clues that people give out in their behaviour. It is nothing to do with lack of intelligence. It leads to social isolation and displays of "difficult" behaviour caused by the frustration and loneliness of the autistic person due to their difficulties in communicating with the people around them.

As such, good quality socialisation is an important part of support and recovery. It would seem best for this to be done in a broader social setting, by which I mean not the home but a school with specialist support.

I am not a doctor or behavioural psychologist.

As someone who is autistic and has spent the last 14 years going to the same classes as anyone would, I can tell you that this is 100% correct. Social interaction can be tough but the chance to have that social interaction is very important.

I am no doctor or anything either, but if I had not gone to normal school I would not have had the lovely friends I have now and my life would have been a lot more bleak.

That said, be aware that certain assistance may be necessary even in a normal class. Ensure that teachers are well aware of the situation.

One thing too is that there are subsidies available for families with autistic children to send the children to schools tailored for their needs. I'd look into this although it may differ from state to state. Also, where your child falls on the spectrum can determine how great the need to look into these schools. Homeschooling I heard is really tough and requires a lot of discipline.

 Steve steveson wrote:
I guess it depends on your son.

Depends on his development. Will he struggle to keep up, or will you struggle to teach a highly intelligent and curious child?

Depends on the school. Will they support a slower or faster pace of learning? Will they support a higher or lower speed of learning (depending on the way your son learns. It depends on your sons autism)? Will they support social difficulties, or force him in to bad situations? Will they treat a meltdown as disability related problem and do what they can to avoid or minimise the risk of it happening, or will they treat it as a disciplinary issue?
These are questions only you can answer, knowing your choice of schools and the specifics of your sons autism.

Some of this is good, but I would highly advocate to not be in a faster/slower track. The most important thing about autism is just teaching the child to be normal and going with an unusual learning track will only make that harder.


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 Kilkrazy wrote:
Autism is a spectrum of disfunction in understanding the social clues that people give out in their behaviour. It is nothing to do with lack of intelligence. It leads to social isolation and displays of "difficult" behaviour caused by the frustration and loneliness of the autistic person due to their difficulties in communicating with the people around them.

As such, good quality socialisation is an important part of support and recovery. It would seem best for this to be done in a broader social setting, by which I mean not the home but a school with specialist support.

I am not a doctor or behavioural psychologist.

Totally correct, though I will note that there isn't a 'recovery' as it isn't something that can be cured. The individual learns to adapt and socialize properly despite AUD that will never go away.

I think what people are missing is the ops son is non verbal and not potty trained at 5. Which means he is lower on the spectrum. So he will likely need a special school.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I think what people are missing is the ops son is non verbal and not potty trained at 5. Which means he is lower on the spectrum. So he will likely need a special school.

True also most special schools have staff fully trained in sign languages, software, specialist technical gear.
Which might be a valuable outlet to communicate.

There's nothing wrong in that, or mainstream.
What matters is soley the best interest of said person.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I think what people are missing is the ops son is non verbal and not potty trained at 5. Which means he is lower on the spectrum. So he will likely need a special school.

My son is still not verbal at 4, and was not potty trained at the time he started school at 3 (took him a couple months to adapt)

His IQ was measured at age 2 when he was diagnosed at barely 80 (79 IIRC), and his last measuring was 95 (so within the normal spectrum), barely 18 months after his first.

He had an aid, and a speech specialist a few hours a week but other than that he goes to a regular class. And what's more important, he has friends his age he occasionally play with. They understand he's not verbal (yet, improving on that area, too), they understand at times he engages in repetitive/obsessive behaviour, and they understand that at times they won't accept help or react angrily to minor issues.

We might have been luckier than average, but talking to other parents in the association, all but the most extreme cases (those with severe intellectual disabilities) have seen marked improvement when exposing their children to other children. Not being verbal or potty trained doesn't necessarily mean low IQ.

But as others have said, your doctor knows best. Ask a good developmental and/or neuro paediatrician and listen carefully. Join an association of parents with ASD children. Shop around for suitable schools.

As somebody with aspbergers i think social communication should be encouraged somewhat. I mean he's 5 so he doesn't know a lot. Home school just shelters people even more. Getting out into the world and meeting people will be tough and he might need some help but it can happen. He will need help though.

Being on the spectrum i've seen people on both ends. There are people that are practically mentally slowed and others like myself (i'm lucky) that can do most things normally. I still don't drive though and i'm getting fairly old myself. That was more due to cost and worries about my attention span and sleep deprivation (playing video games).

I would be willing to bet he plays a lot of video games. Oddly when i met up with a bunch of other people with aspbergers or autism it was like the thing they all did. I mean i played video games since i was 3. Not sure what connection there is to that and autism if any.