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**Emperors Faithful**

@aka_tizz:

**aka_tizz**

what did i do there? :-s
Anyway, just don't go tell on me

**Emperors Faithful**

I don't understand it.
I don't approve of it.
I don't dislike it.
But I did see it.

**dreadlord**

For those of you who wonder where this drivel comes from here's the story (quoted directly from Stephenie Meyer, the writer of Twilight):

I woke up (on that June 2nd) from a very vivid dream. In my dream, two people were having an intense conversation in a meadow in the woods. One of these people was just your average girl. The other person was fantastically beautiful, sparkly, and a vampire. They were discussing the difficulties inherent in the facts that A) they were falling in love with each other while B) the vampire was particularly attracted to the scent of her blood, and was having a difficult time restraining himself from killing her immediately. For what is essentially a transcript of my dream, please see Chapter 13 ("Confessions") of the book.

Though I had a million things to do (i.e. making breakfast for hungry children, dressing and changing the diapers of said children, finding the swimsuits that no one ever puts away in the right place, etc.), I stayed in bed, thinking about the dream. I was so intrigued by the nameless couple's story that I hated the idea of forgetting it; it was the kind of dream that makes you want to call your friend and bore her with a detailed description. (Also, the vampire was just so darned good-looking, that I didn't want to lose the mental image.) Unwillingly, I eventually got up and did the immediate necessities, and then put everything that I possibly could on the back burner and sat down at the computer to write—something I hadn't done in so long that I wondered why I was bothering. But I didn't want to lose the dream, so I typed out as much as I could remember, calling the characters "he" and "she."

So basically a woman woke up one morning, all hot and bothered, from a dream about an attractive (and "sparkly") vampire in love with an "average" girl. This whole thing smacks of deeply seeded emotional problems. Add to this the fact that she is mormon and says she "steers her work from subjects such as sex." Meanwhile in book four "Breaking Dawn" (which I haven't read but am familiar with because I worked in a bookstore at the time) we're faced with teenage pregnancy... a half vampire baby which basically rips it's way out of her womb. I'm sorry lady but you need psychological help. At least we know she can afford it.

**Cheese Elemental**

Has anyone else heard Stephen King's epic trolling of Twilight fans?

http://www.inquisitr.com/17233/stephen-king-bitchslaps-twilight-author-stephenie-meyer-cant-write-worth-a-darn/

**SilverMK2**

@Cheese: No chance you can post the contents of that link so those chained to their desks at work can read it without being blocked by filters?

Cheers

**Cheese Elemental**

Hurr double poast

**Cheese Elemental**

Prolific horror writer Stephen King likes some writers, but doesn’t like others, or in particular, Twilight author Stephenie Meyer.

In an interview with USA Weekend, King compared Meyer with J.K. Rowling of Harry Potter fame:

“Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people… The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.”

And yet, he gets the appeal of Meyer’s work

While Stephen may not be a fan of Stephenie’s writing, he understands the appeal of the series.

“People are attracted by the stories, by the pace, and in the case of Stephenie Meyer, it’s very clear that she’s writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. It’s exciting and it’s thrilling and it’s not particularly threatening because it’s not overtly sexual.”

“A lot of the physical side of it is conveyed in things like, the vampire will touch her forearm or run a hand over skin, and she just flushes all hot and cold. And for girls, that’s a shorthand for all the feelings that they’re not ready to deal with yet.”

Nasty.

King of trolls.

**Tyyr**

Ya know, as much as internet superhero's like to rip on her about those books people know her name, and they'll die anonymous. She's set for life off them and you'll be working 9 to 5 till the day you die.

Jokes on you.

**dreadlord**

Tyyr wrote:Ya know, as much as internet superhero's like to rip on her about those books people know her name, and they'll die anonymous. She's set for life off them and you'll be working 9 to 5 till the day you die.

Jokes on you.

Actually, I highly value my anonymity. My beliefs are very Taoist in that I would prefer to die unknown and unmourned, thereby releasing the shackles of labels and perceptual concepts while returning to the void from which all things arose.

That and the fact that I prefer to be an anonymous arse rather than a famous douche.

**Kilkrazy**

So the Twilight books are the American equivalent of Yaoi manga?

This explains much...

**dreadlord**

Kilkrazy wrote:So the Twilight books are the American equivalent of Yaoi manga?

This explains much...

Imagine if a religious American attempted to rewrite a Yaoi plot so that all of the content is still there but covered by a thin veil of morals and squeamishness. Whatever that is... Twilight is it.

**Emperors Faithful**

...Stephen King Troll...

**Cheese Elemental**

Kilkrazy wrote:So the Twilight books are the American equivalent of Yaoi manga?

This explains much...

I still don't understand the fascination teenage girls have with Yaoi, nor do I wish to.

**Khornholio**

So, how would a sparkly themed VC army go over? Would the zombies be sparkly too?

**Miguelsan**

Once I wanted to paint my skellies with glow in the dark but alas I couldn´t find paint suitable enough.

M.

**Kilkrazy**

Cheese Elemental wrote:
Kilkrazy wrote:So the Twilight books are the American equivalent of Yaoi manga?

This explains much...

I still don't understand the fascination teenage girls have with Yaoi, nor do I wish to.

I've explained it before. It's a non-threatening way for them to explore male sexuality.

**KingCracker**

Gwar! wrote:
Kilkrazy wrote:I have witnessed the final harbinger of the fall of western civilisation.

A new Waterstones (chain bookseller) opened near my office.

I found they have an entire section called "Fantasy Romance", filled with vampire boy/human girl love story novels.

How did it come to this?
Are they sparkly vampires hitting on underage girls?

**Munch Munch!**

I agree with EF on the Stephen King Troll. Just wicked.
Now on twilight fans. I have never really understood how a girl thinking that a massive pedo-vampire hitting on an underage teen is "good read"

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Can anyone explain to me how the Twilight sreies is a good collection of "literature"?

**isthatmycow**

Munch Munch! wrote:I agree with EF on the Stephen King Troll. Just wicked.
Now on twilight fans. I have never really understood how a girl thinking that a massive pedo-vampire hitting on an underage teen is "good read"

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Can anyone explain to me how the Twilight sreies is a good collection of "literature"?

It's Not. Now, i may bne putting my terrorist foot in my mouth, but Stefanie Meyers is not a good writer. She's a Crap. However, she is good at something, and it's selling stuff. She know how to sell twilight, and she knew how to write the book so that she could get away with her writing failure and still make big bucks.

EDIT: That actually got me thinking. IF this is a good book, where is her Pulitzer pirze, her National Book award, why hasn't the Chicago Tribune Given her the Heartland Prize? Simple. Because she is a horrible writer, but she knows how much stupid teenage girls would salivate over a vampire raping a stupid, bland girl, and she calls it love. Pathetic.

**Tyyr**

Kilkrazy wrote:I've explained it before. It's a non-threatening way for them to explore male sexuality.

By what, watching a bunch of effeminate wimps act nothing like men and swap spit with one another?

**dreadlord**

Tyyr wrote:
Kilkrazy wrote:I've explained it before. It's a non-threatening way for them to explore male sexuality.

By what, watching a bunch of effeminate wimps act nothing like men and swap spit with one another?

What could be less threatening than a feminized man? A comatose man? I think we have a winner. I'll start writing up the plot to the coma-romance novel.

**Mannahnin**

I predict you will make millions.

Whoops! There goes your anonymity.

**dreadlord**

Not sure why... but double posted.

**Captain Shrike**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNONONOONONONONOONONONONNNONNONONOOOOOOOOOOOO

The apocolypse is upon us! Repent (and burn the writers of those books at the stake), and we will be forgiven.

**aka_tizz**

I imagine, that, in your opinion, even reading those books makes for a deadly sin

**Bookwrack**

Cheese Elemental wrote:
Kilkrazy wrote:So the Twilight books are the American equivalent of Yaoi manga?

This explains much...

I still don't understand the fascination teenage girls have with Yaoi, nor do I wish to.

Seriously, maybe I'm just a genius and never knew it or something, but it's not that hard. Y'know how a lot of guys would give an image of two hot girls making a big thumbs up? Same thing. slightly different wrapping.

**Captain Shrike**

aka_tizz wrote:I imagine, that, in your opinion, even reading those books makes for a deadly sin

Yes, when my mom made me watched the t-light movie (cant say the full name, it burns my mouth) with her, I refused as if it was the plauge, and I couldnt go 1 minute without critisizm and a sarcastic comment....IT SUCKED (no pun intended)

**Emperors Faithful**

I'm more worried about what it's doing to the fine women of this nation. I can't go more than 5 steps in public with out seeing a t-shirt saying "Bite me Edward" (or words to that effect *shudder*).

**sebster**

isthatmycow wrote:EDIT: That actually got me thinking. IF this is a good book, where is her Pulitzer pirze, her National Book award, why hasn't the Chicago Tribune Given her the Heartland Prize? Simple. Because she is a horrible writer, but she knows how much stupid teenage girls would salivate over a vampire raping a stupid, bland girl, and she calls it love. Pathetic.

Books can be perfectly realised and quite enjoyable without ever attempting the sophistication needed to win major awards. It'd be a dull place if the only books given any respect were high literature.

That said, I've been told by people I trust that Myers' books are very poorly written, and I'm happy to believe them as I've no interest in reading about day-glo vampires and the women who love them. But that's just because it isn't a fantasy that appeals to me. Meanwhile I collect and paint toy soldiers because of my attraction to an ultra-violent setting of forever war.

It's okay to like something that's pretty silly because the fantasy appeals to you. Our fantasy will seem just as puerile to them as their fantasy seems to us.