Great Life Lessons You Have Learned

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**master of ordinance**

KalashnikovMarine wrote:This was an important one the first time I ever got shot at. It was coyote hunting in the Sonoran desert, long story short, found the wrong kind of coyote and had to leg it. The lesson is:

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Love this one!

Albatross wrote:Really? He sounds like a fantasist...

I loved my dad. He was the world to me. Unfourtunately he sufferd from post traumatic stress and during a dig(he was a paliontologist) he took a piece of slate through his hand which severd his tendon. Whilst he was recovering an christian fanatic who was also in hospital managed to catch him severly weakened and with his guard down. Long story short the bastards stole my dad from me. The only experiences i have had with this religion have been bad.

I am not a fanatic i just have no reason to love or even accept but plenty to

hate

Coolyo294 wrote:
Albatross wrote:
Really? He sounds like a fantasist...
He sounds rude to me. Seriously, who goes to church and then stands up in the middle of service to say they don't believe in God?

For your information i was about 7-8 and had essentially been told "go to church and believe in god or we will make your life a liveing crapfest". At this point i hadnt realised that i could just leave and they did there best to make me think leaving was unimaginable.

Albatross wrote:
Coolyo294 wrote:
Albatross wrote:
Really? He sounds like a fantasist...
He sounds rude to me. Seriously, who goes to church and then stands up in the middle of service to say they don't believe in God?

The real question is 'who fantasises about that?'

Invetably someone will.

Poppabear wrote:Be a good person, and what I mean by that is; if you see some guy getting bullied/beaten up, you go over there and kick the living crap out of the people doing it. Or giving a homeless person a dollar and trying really hard not to think what they're going to do with it later. Helping an elderly person cross the road, or letting them have your seat on the bus. Jumping in to one of your friends fights. You know, stuff like that.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

master of ordinance wrote:
That indian curry may have been nice but be prepared to suffer the next day
***To many indian take aways in my life have my backside the next day. Or just inflicted a severe case of the runs.

Always have a plan. You will rarely follow it but its a good basis.
***Life

If someone threatens a member of your family threaten them back. If they inflict a severe threat then take action.
***Chavs made a mistake in threatening my little brother

Some people are to stupid to live.
***3 chavs averaging 10-11 years old and about 4ft-4ft10" threatened to tourture my little brother. Whilst he was walking between myself(6ft+ skinny but wiry) and my friend(5ft 8"-10" built like a gorilla). whilst we were both carrying our work knives. And in the full knoledge that all 3 of us hated them and both myself and my friend know how to kill with our bare hands. They have yet to make that mistake again.

Dont say you are good at something when you are not.
***Seen to many people say stuff like this to real experts and subsequently be cut down to size.

Parents Tutors Teachers etc all have plans for you and ideas how you should run your life. Feth them.
***Life

Be yourself. Beieve what you believe.
***Life

Never let any members of your family see the naked girls/poledancers you have painted as crew art on your vehicles.
***Bitter and embarrasing experience.

Never discuss matters of a sexual nature with your girlfriend/lover/mistress/dominatrix when theres a chance of your family hearing. This does include what sex/bondage/fetish toys/wear to buy.
***my mother over heard a conversation with my now (sadly)ex girlfriend about what corset she should bye.......

Religious fanatics are an extremely viable threat. Especialy christian ones.
***I used to have a dad. Thank you christian feth wipes.

Never offend a witch. Especialy when shes your ex.
***Least said the better.

Never let others impose there religion on you.
***When i was in beavers it was run by 2 religious fanatics who dominated the other staff. The biggest shock i gave them was standing up in the middle of church on sunday and saying "i dont believe in god". My time at beavers was subsuquently made hell and i was told i must "repent and find the light". I subsuquently gave my main bully a black eye and knocked him clean out. I am a Wiccan/Chaosist FYI.

In a relationship there is one who loves more. In a breakup there is one who hurts more.
***Bitter experience

Others may say they know what is best for you but they rarely do. Its best to let you find out for yourself most times.
***My ex and i where perfect. Her friends didnt think so. For 3 months they told her this. continously. behind my back.

Have a code of honour. Stick to it but not to rigedly
***Experience

I like you!

Thanks

Also some more:

Be prepared to stand and fight for what you believe in and for your friends
***Life and bitter experience

Know when to retreat. It could save your life and in the long run win you the fight.
***School

Be prepared
***Basic knoledge but its amazing how many people try climbing mountains and hills in high heels and mini skirts.

**Samus_aran115**

Always buy the best, most fool-proof item available to you, or you'll regret it.

**liquidjoshi**

master of ordinance wrote:
I used to have a dad. Thank you christian feth wipes.

Blanket statements for the win, right? [/sarcasm]
I'm not about to defend what happened with your dad; evidently it was completely and utterly wrong. But blaming the entire Christian faith is a great way to offend people. We're not all fanatics, and most of us never even knew your dad. Once again, I am not defending what happened. You have my deepest sympathies in that regard. But as a Christian, I resent that statement that we're all "Feth wipes".

**Albatross**

master of ordinance wrote:

Albatross wrote:Really? He sounds like a fantasist...

I loved my dad. He was the world to me. Unfourtunately he sufferd from post traumatic stress and during a dig(he was a paliontologist) he took a piece of slate through his hand which severd his tendon. Whilst he was recovering an christian fanatic who was also in hospital managed to catch him severly weakened and with his guard down. Long story short the bastards stole my dad from me. The only experiences i have had with this religion have been bad.

I am not a fanatic i just have no reason to love or even accept but plenty to hate

What the... I don't...

I didn't say you sounded like a fanatic. I said you sounded like a fantasist. You made some fairly outlandish claims, like being able to kill people with your bare hands and what-have-you. It's no big deal, though - you sound about 15. Teenage boys of a certain type engage in that sort of thing as a matter of course.

**AlmightyWalrus**

liquidjoshi wrote:
master of ordinance wrote:
I used to have a dad. Thank you christian feth wipes.

Blanket statements for the win, right? [/sarcasm]
I'm not about to defend what happened with your dad; evidently it was completely and utterly wrong. But blaming the entire Christian faith is a great way to offend people. We're not all fanatics, and most of us never even knew your dad. Once again, I am not defending what happened. You have my deepest sympathies in that regard. But as a Christian, I resent that statement that we're all "Feth wipes".

I dunno if he meant every Christian in general, I read it as "thank you Christian fethwipes (as in, the Christian fethwipes that killed his dad)".

**Easy E**

Since we are talking about church... kind of... I recall a time I was dating a girl and it was really important to her to go to a Catholic Mass every so often, so we did. The Priest was up their reading his sermon and read the following lines...

"Jesus went to (Someplace) and taught the people how to love and respect God. In return ... they tried to kill him."

For some reason, I found his delivery perfectly comical timed and I broke out laughing. No one else in church seemed to find it funny, OR I was the only one listening.

I don;t really have a learned lesson from this one, except maybe comic delivery isn;t always suppose to be funny?

**Frazzled**

Cheesecat wrote:
Well this thread has gone downhill all it's just a bunch of people posting overly cliched posts.

Most of life's lessons are really boring.
Before you sit up, open your eyes so you don't fall down when you get up.
I know the different barks and growls Rusty the Tank makes, ranging from: squirrel and the old wiener dog is touching me ichy! to WTH WAS THAT!!!
I can drive a stick shift in only 4th gear in stop and go traffic, and what to do if the gear shift comes off in your hands.

**Jihadin**

Everyone a product of their environment. SO basically three castes of people. Lead, Follow, or Get the Hell Out My Way. Which are you?

**kevlar'o**

''All be cause you can't do it know , doesn't mean you will never be able to do it''

&

''If one man has done it, then it possiable for all men to do!''