Burnabwoi Churf (Churf da chaad to friends - only, BRO!) is a beach billy who likes only two things in life; according to him in his own words; "DA BEACH" and "LITTIN DA BEACH FIAH"

Do note that these comments were made after his single (ever) attempt to light a beach fire.
This wouldn't be a Leopold Helveine story to an Ork's background (check!) had it not atleast somewhat (or fully) gone wrong!.

So, one late summer evening, Ork-land buckaneer Mankey the monkey, familiar of a mere raft and bottomless well of grog hidden away on an island nearby had just docked and hurried back to his best friend Churf (da chaad!!) hoping to play some beachball both Churf and Mankey were pretty good at.
"Hey Bro, it's getting kinda chilly on the grilly" Mankey noted as he approached Churf.. "Running low on grog already too"

"Youz dranking dat all da way ere?" Churf sad faced in return.. "ow much is innit lefd??"
"A few sippy's!" Mankey admitted.. "I took one every wave back.. I was so in the zone man."

"Dangit!" Churf yelled thirsty.. "It waz youz turn to GET.. not to unget.."

As the reader should be able to tell by now.. Churf and Mankey took turns to take the raft to the hidden away grog well.. but the paddle back took about ten minutes, and for a monkey ten minutes of sitting still is a long time!!.. ohwell.

"wud now.. I don't wanna bob wiz cold fingaz" Churf sighed stretching though postponing the beachball session.. "othawize we doo's it other time..dis time.."

"Heck no fluster buster!" Mankey jumped around protesting.. "I aint counting stars and sand all night".. incapable of sitting still for another minute the monkey winged and worked his grogbarrel like a drum.. "We can fix this with a ziggo fliggo!"
"A what?" Churf scratched his nose..
"Aren't you a burnabwoi?" Mankey pointed his finger at him..
"Uhh.. not un a whilez.." .."Me burny gearz probably rustey.." Churf looked down..
"I AINT COUNTING STARS AND SAND BRO" Mankey insisted loudly banging away on the barrel again, chanting it repeatedly to an annoyance..
Churf sighed elongated and walked off to his beach hut..

It had been months since he had taken part in whaaghs among his burnaboy squad.. wasn't even sure how his burna even worked but it did.. and atleast the tank was still half full.
Mankey had put together some wood and stones to make the beach fire and eagerly stood back a few feet..
"U wand me ta say it?" Churf asked him as he came back with his burna strapped to his body..
"Far out!" Mankey gleefully emitted..
"all..right.." .. Churf pointed his burna at the yet unlit heap of wood.. and softly whispered "whaagh"..

Neither Churf or Mankey had expected the propelling force of the burna which because of the offtime had amassed some pressure to the tubes.. instead of hitting the wood the stream of fire flung itself across the beach sputtering on and off into as many waves of flame as Mankey had sipped on waves of sea.. the expunge flew nearer and nearer to Mankey still clinching to his barrel with the gleam of it all on his eyes..

Mankey was enveloped in orange glow from the engulfing heat still clinging to the barrel then put on a lightbulb face and the barrel to his mouth..
"Whad iz you doin?!" Churf coughed from the smoke forming.. making it harder to see what the warped silhouet of Mankey was up to..
Inbetween smooching sounds Mankey responded.. "Drinking the filly bit"

"YOU SAID DAR WAZ JUZ A FEW SIPS!!" Churf yelled back..
"Thro da vat Bro!" Churf warned.. "before id iz popped!"
Mankey was practically surrounded by charr and rising flicker..
"I can't!" Mankey cried out.. "what else can we store the grog with!"
"Dangit thro it or it goez bang!" Churf open hand slapped into the sand trying to convey the seriousness of the situation..
"Youz can't drink dat all!!"
"You will drink it all if I don't!!.. I'm about to die BRO!" Mankey oozed back gulping..

"Graghhh!!" Churf let out a warcry and threw off his equipment, then ran through the heat kicking the barrel from Mankey's grip just in time for it to blow up, and landed himself and his best friend across the coals into the tide cooling the cinder that had stuck to their clothing..

Mankey sat up out from the seawater bringing him back to.. .. "Woah.. thank you bro, you're a funky heart".
"Sorry for lieing about the goods.., I get so bored on the raft bro.."
Churf was staring out to sea and put his arm around Mankey.. "From nuw on.. I'ma do all da grog gettin.."

Mankey layed back relaxed in the water.. and from now on 'he was going to teach Churf his secret technique of making fire with stones.., how to craft fishing poles and maybe even some cool beachball tricks in turn!

FIN.

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