The Night Before 986996.M41 (aka Dakka Christmas thread)

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**FoWPlayerDeathOfUS.TDs**

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Dashing through the snow,
In a pirhana light skimmer
Killing(imperial guard) John Does
Making kroot some dinner

Farsights turning Red
The Eternals almost dead
Here comes commander shadow sun
With fusion guns

Oh, pheremones, pheremones
and the greater good,
blue fish space ants with a utilitarian government
and a theocracy type ruling caste-aste

**Forbino**

This is always a classic. Thanks for posting.

**Loricatus Aurora**

Gold threat.

The 'last christmas' short poem had me laugh out loud on the bus

Welldone all, moar please

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Gold thread..

**Manchu**

You guys forgot that old favorite about the Wise Men.

Manchu wrote:
We techpriests of Mechanicum are
Bearing gifts from forges of Mars
Tanks and Titans, made to fight in
The Emperor's glorious wars.

O-oh
Omnissiah's holy light
Conq'ring darkness of Old Night
Gears are turning, traitors burning
Guide us by thy psychic might!

Leman Russ, a million I've made
Shadowsword and mighty Baneblade
Struggling ever, Eye of Terror
Broken on Cadia's Gate

O-oh
Omnissiah's holy light
Conq'ring darkness of Old Night
Gears are turning, heretics burning
Guide us by thy psychic might!

Sacred Titans I will supply
God Machines to turn the tide
Man prevailing, xenos wailing
But no one will answer their cry

O-oh
Omnissiah's holy light
Conq'ring darkness of Old Night
Gears are turning, aliens burning
Guide us by thy psychic might!

Armor I forge for the Astartes
Invincible scourge of His enemies
Chainswords and bolters, pauldrons for shoulders
I give them all of these

O-oh
Omnissiah's holy light
Conq'ring darkness of Old Night
Gears are turning, mutants burning
Guide us by thy psychic might!

Mars and Terra together strong
In darkest era we will march on
Basilisks roaring, Thunderhawks soaring
The sounds of His glorious song

O-oh
Omnissiah's holy light
Conq'ring darkness of Old Night
Gears are turning, traitors burning
Guide us by thy psychic might!

Automatically Appended Next Post:
And who could forget the 40k version of Frosty the Snowman?

Manchu wrote:
Kharne the Betrayer
Was a bloody-minded soul
With a huge chainaxe
And a plasma gun
And two eyes like burning coals

Kharne the Betrayer
Was a Space Marine they say
But when Horus fell
He said what the hell?
I'll just murder folks all day

They knew he had Khorne's favor
When on Terra his body was found
They thought that he was surely dead
But he began to dance around

Kharne the Betrayer
Was alive as he could be
His one goal is still
To maim, burn, and kill
Anyone that he can see

Blood for the Blood God
Blood for the Blood God
Look at Kharn go
Blood for the Blood God
Blood for the Blood God
And skulls for the Skull Throne

Automatically Appended Next Post:
And for the sheer joy of the season:

Manchu wrote:
Angels we have heard on high
Drop pods screaming through the sky
Red of blood, dark forest green
It's a festive death machine

Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-or-ia
Imperator Deo
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-or-ia
Imperator Deo

**snurl**

Not 40k but.........to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen....

Godforsaken Pugelmen,
Go forth and go astray;
Remember dead Cthulhu,
Asleep in dread Ry'Leh!
Who rules us all with Eldritch power,
So we might go insane;
Darkest tidings of rats inside the walls,
Rats in the walls!
Darkest tidings of rats inside the walls.

**notprop**

Is that to the tune of jinglebells?

**snurl**

notprop wrote:
Is that to the tune of jinglebells?

No, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

**master of ordinance**

snurl wrote:
Not 40k but.........to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen....

Godforsaken Pugelmen,
Go forth and go astray;
Remember dead Cthulhu,
Asleep in dread Ry'Leh!
Who rules us all with Eldritch power,
So we might go insane;
Darkest tidings of rats inside the walls,
Rats in the walls!
Darkest tidings of rats inside the walls.

LOVECRAFT CHRISTMAS

**Kid_Kyoto**

After the Horus Heresy certain chapter perverted the Battlehymn of the Astares into a blameous war chant.

Warp-Spawned hells!
The Emperor Smells!
Corax laid an egg!
The battle cruiser
Broke its fuser
Abaddon got away!
Hey!

Truly its very words are an insult to all who stand for order and sanity.

**Zwan1One**

I read the 'The Night Before 986996.M41' to my fiancé.

She didn't approve.

**MightyGodzilla**

Zwan1One wrote:
I read the 'The Night Before 986996.M41' to my fiancé.

She didn't approve.

Your fiancee needs more grimdark. She'll be complete when she wants you to call her "your little deamonette". Pray that time comes swiftly.

Because this thread was so full of win. Have a happy holiday!

**Zwan1One**

MightyGodzilla wrote:
Zwan1One wrote:
I read the 'The Night Before 986996.M41' to my fiancé.

She didn't approve.

Your fiancee needs more grimdark. She'll be complete when she wants you to call her "your little deamonette". Pray that time comes swiftly.

Because this thread was so full of win. Have a happy holiday!

One can dream...
Here's the white dwarf teams effort:

http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/wnt/blog.jsp?pid=6600016

**shrike**

Zwan1One wrote:
Here's the white dwarf teams effort:

http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/wnt/blog.jsp?pid=6600016

that one was pretty good, too!
love the little note about musty

**Mannahnin**

WHFB version, by Michael Governor:

'Twas the night before Christmas
throughout the Old World,
The armies were camped
and their banners were furled.

The clamor of battle had finally ceased,
All races observing a Christmastime peace.
Each force in its barracks, each fleet in its haven,
No creature was stirring, not even a Skaven.

The dreams of the elf-lords were distant and deep;
The Orcs lay in rows, snoring "waagghhh" in their sleep.

Your humble narrator had blown out the light,
Set the brushes to rinse and turned in for the night,
And, stealing back blankets usurped by my love,
I was just dozing off...when I heard from above

Such a clatter of hooves! Were we under attack?
Our rooftop assaulted by Arkhan the Black?
I dashed to the parlour in nightshirt and cap
And loaded my crossbow in case of a scrap.

But who should pop out of the fireplace flue
Than old Santa himself! With a bulging sack too!
He shook himself off and went under the tree,
To set out some gifts for my lady and me.

He spun round to face me (which gave me a fright)
And said "You two were last on my list for tonight,
"In your world, that is. But I've work yet to do...
"There are other realms out there that need Christmas, too!"

And he pulled out more gifts, moving faster than light:
"I must get these sent out through the kingdoms tonight!

"A hatchet for Morglum that sings as it hews;
"A reinforced hatrack for Teclis to use;
"A cape for Karl Franz with a griffon-fur trim,
"A mustachio wax kit for Volkmar the Grim,

"A new cloak for Mannfred, all lined in red satin,
"A scabbard for Heinrich with etched words in Latin,
"A chew-toy for Scyla; for Arbaal a book
"(To write down the names of the heroes he's cooked),

"A tankard for Thorgrim, brim-full of good beer....
"And the Witch-King gets coal. For the six thousandth year."

And then, to my shock, he knelt down on the floor
Near a mouse hole I just hadn't noticed before
And he squeezed in some boxes, all wrapped with great care;
Then Saint Nick hollered out, "Merry Christmas down there!"

"I'm sending down presents for all of your folk-
"A new knife for Sniktch and some mouthwash for Skrolk,
"A wrench set for Ikit, a mirror for Queek
"And a snuffbox for Thanquol...you're welcome! Neek Neek!"

His labours now done, Santa went on his way.
He rose up the chimney and boarded his sleigh.
He snatched up the reins, oh so jolly and spry,
Then he called to his team, and the reindeer Flew High.

But I heard him exclaim as he clove through the blue
"Merry Christmas To All! (hope Games Workshop won't sue!)"